"Yes, many times."
"Were we in love?" I whispered the question underneath my breath.
"I would like to think that you loved me. Sometimes I believe that I am incapable of love. Incapable of anything substantial." He straightened his shirt and looked at his hands and then fisted them, upset at what he saw. "I have never been able to do more than destroy with my hands. That is what made me so perfect as your personal guard. I am virtually indestructible with six hundred years behind me to mark me as a master vampire. I am a master in my own right, a king of my own realm. But I could not live a day without you near me, without hearing my name on your lips. It's weakness"
He turned around and walked directly towards the couch, pushing the coffee table out of his way to kneel in front of me, both hands resting on mine[1]. He was a bit cool but that was it, I couldn't feel the chill that I expected from a vampire.
"It has seemed like a game of cat and mouse, Celeste. I find you and then you vanish into the mist, I find you again and you are gone again, absconding with what is left of my hope. I have begun to think that it was because of me that you were leaving and yet, I keep hearing my name on your lips, seeing you when I close my eyes, smelling your perfume on the cool breeze." He furrowed his brow, "What could that mean?" His eyes flicked to me.
"I wouldn't be able to tell you, Solomon. None of this makes sense to me." I shook my head. None of it. "What happened… the last time that I vanished? Do you remember anything?"
"I remember everything." Solomon remained kneeling but darted his gaze to his hands around mine. Moving his thumbs in small circles over my wrists.
There was silence but I couldn't wait, "Well? What happened, Solomon?" His nearness was making my stomach bubble up—the butterflies were trying to escape again.
With a heavy sigh, he pushed himself up and walked to the curtains covering my patio window. Pulling at the edge of the curtains, his eyes drifted outside. My body began to long for his return, and my mind was going along with my body. He was just so gorgeous standing by the window, in profile he was the most gorgeous man I had ever met.
"We kissed."
Silence reigned again. "What do you mean, 'we kissed'? What happened after that?"
"You disappeared, again. It took me three months to find you this time—you can be quite elusive when you want to be." He smiled but the smile made no effort to move up to his eyes. He was trying to hide his emotions. "I spent that time in between searching continuing to make a difference in the world because I knew that you would approve. I was striving to be the man that you wanted me to be all along."
"I wanted you to be… ? Huh?" I shook my head, "You should only be what
you
want to be." That made no sense that he was working to make
me
happy. I didn't even know who I really was. I looked over at the flowers, concentrating on the perfection of them, "Hydrangeas."
"Your favorite." He nodded from the patio doors, "But they have to be blue with purple, not purple with blue or pink—blue with purple." He smiled at me with a tiny twinkle in his eyes.
"So you
kissed
me and I disappeared again?"
"Yes."
I thought about that for a moment… tactile memories. I looked down at my hands, the lines on my palms appearing as drying rivers of fate across my empty memories.
Solomon's voice was a painful whisper, "So it would seem." He looked over to me. "It is frightening that this would happen so many times but I could never… help myself. Keep myself from you—you draw me closer like the moth to the flame. You burn me with your eternal beauty and I am destroyed every time you disappear." He didn't take his eyes off of me for a moment—his eyes bored into my soul, or so it seemed.
Still contemplating what was going on, every part of me wanted to know the truth. Pushing off of the sofa I walked over to him, his eyes growing larger with every step—his fear was evident. His back stiffened and he snapped into his military stance—feet shoulder width apart, shoulders back and his hands whipped behind him, clasping each other in an iron grip.
I stood directly in front of him, eyes riveted on his, looking into the deep blue-green depths that were Solomon. I closed my eyes and heard the ocean crashing deep within my soul. I could feel the foam splashing tiny droplets on my face. I could smell the briny scent and relief that only the ocean gave me. My soul cried out for Solomon and I knew instantly that I was in love with him. Deep down inside me, my soul loved him intensely.
When I opened my eyes Solomon was looking down at me with deep concern. I reached out with a shaky hand and placed it against his firm chest. My knees went a little weak as I stared up at him. "Kiss me," I spoke the words in a breathy whisper.
Panic immediately appeared on Solomon's face. He looked around himself frantically as if he were looking for a way to escape. "I do not think that is a good idea." He shook his head, still trying to find a route of escape. He turned his head away as if he were trying to keep his delicious lips away from me.
That is not going to do.
I placed my other hand on his chest, allowing my fingers to climb up to his neck. Slowly snaking my fingers around the nape, I kept my eyes on him, never allowing eye contact to be broken. It felt like a spell that I had complete control of. His muscles tensed under my touch.
"Please, Solomon, I would like you to kiss me." My lips parted slightly and my body leaned in ever-so-slightly
He shut his eyes tight, as if he were avoiding a blinding light, and shook his head slowly from side to side, "I do not wish to lose you again. I do not have the patience to keep tracking you down time and again. I cannot bear seeing you in these brief half-life moments and then see you flit away from my grasp. You kill a little more of my soul each time that you do. You steal away with a tiny fragment of my hope when you disappear. I am not quite sure… that I can survive another time."
My heart thumped frantically at his words. I could feel my head tilt over to the side. That was just so very romantic. "What
are
we to each other?" I really did want to know. This man was so beautiful, so perfect. He was looking for me, searching for me, keeping my image close to him and finding me every time that I would run away. What was I
running
from? I didn't move an inch and my body tensed.
He turned to look down at me, his hands moved to his sides and balled up into fists. It was obvious that he was trying not to touch me.
"We were… nothing." He turned his head away in frustration.
"But you don't want that." It wasn't a question.
"No."
My body relaxed ever so slightly and he brought his head back around to look at me. Looking deeply into his eyes, I tried to read his emotions. Fear. Frustration. Concern. Loss. Dread. I caused all of that. I caused him pain.
With a huff I pushed away from him, turning my body to the flowers, taking one last look at them. How could I get my memories back without tearing Solomon apart? They were tactile memories, hidden within the touch of someone that I would have contact with. Tisha was not the one—she and I came into contact all the time—she was my best friend. That meant only one other person was available to lift the shroud from over my lost memories.
Walking resolutely to my counter, I grabbed my purse and dug for my keys.
"What are you doing?" Solomon asked although his feet remained planted across the room.
"I need to know who I am, Solomon. I need my memories back," my voice was rough as I looked at him sternly. He was keeping me from my memories. "It doesn't matter that you don't want me to run away—I have to know what is going on."
"And… you are going where?"
"To see Von. I'm sure that he can do for me… " I couldn't complete my sentence, my body was now engulfed in the strong and delicious strength of Solomon.
He was holding me tightly and almost shivering. "I would prefer that you would not go to Von." He shook slightly—he was angry.
Pushing away from Solomon's muscular perfection, he gave me a look of disappointment. "You would keep me from my memories?"
"Yes," he said as he dropped his hands and took a step back, allowing his head to drop so low that it looked like his chin was dragging on his chest. He wouldn't make eye contact.
I let that sink in for a minute. He wanted me to stay. He didn't want me to know who I was. "And what would you do with me, Solomon? I don't even know who I am?"
"We would live as we are. Me the angel investor with the huge family fortune, you the graphic designer by day and the singer by night. We wouldn't change a thing."
"And who would that benefit?" I shook my head. It actually sounded good to me.
"Us."
"Don't I have a kingdom? Aren't you a vampire? What the hell am I?! I don't even know WHAT I am! Shouldn't I be taking care of the people? What the heck am I doing here?!" My anger was beginning to bubble to the surface. I closed my eyes and counted to ten, allowing my anger to roll away from me, pushing it outside of my personal space. The anger was not going to be in control of me.
"I would do everything to make you happy, Celeste. You would want for nothing."
"I am a queen! What would I possibly be in want of?" I shook my head. I must be insane to run away. I must really hate responsibility because I know I sucked at balancing my own checkbook.
"We could live on the coast, near the water. You wouldn't have to worry about the kingdom anymore."
I paused for a moment. No, that didn't sound right. "I don't think that was the problem, Solomon. I really get the feeling that there was something else."
"So now you will not stay with me unless I give you back your memories? I consider that blackmail, Celeste. You will leave again and I will be back to square one. What have I got to lose by refusing you?" He ran his fingers through his gorgeous hair.
"Nothing. I don't consider myself much of a prize. Why you keep chasing after me is beyond me." I shook my hair, feeling it brush against my back. "Maybe with my memories returned you will be able to start your life anew. You will be able to start over again and do it the way that you would want."
"I don't want anything if it doesn't have you in it. If you are not in my life, there is no life worth living." He spat it out like he was angry at the world.
That stopped me in my tracks. I shook my head, "You don't have to worry—I will have Von help me and you will not have to feel guilty about everything." I turned to head for the door, slinging the purse over my shoulder.
Suddenly his lips were on mine. It was a passionate, hard, frustrated kiss. The feeling that it instilled was that of a man suffocating from the lack of water and sucking down so much oxygen that he was going to overload his lungs. He was hungry, angry and the waves of emotions that were pouring off of him made me want to cry. I could feel his sorrow because he was sure that he was going to lose me again. I could hear his unspoken plans of how he would find me again. I could sense that he
knew
that I was going to disappear and that he was going to make it worth it for himself because it would be another three months before he kissed me again. He didn't care—all that mattered was that he held me again and that he
could
hold me again. Did he love me? I wasn't sure but it didn't seem to matter because his body was crying to me and mine was crying right back.
I leaned into his body and wrapped my arms around his neck. A deep moan escaped from his lips as his tongue began to explore my mouth and make love to my tongue. Our tongues moved together as if they were doing a sensuous tango—move and glide, move and glide. His hands began to work their way up my back and one glided up to my head, cupping my hair as I continued to dance to our body's tune. There was a subtle buzzing in my ears that just appeared as I continued to become engulfed by the glory of our body's attentions to each other. The buzzing slowly began to die down and I heard my thoughts in my mind.
Was it my name?
It couldn't be because I was basically keeping Solomon's mouth very, very busy.
"Celeste," a deep voice edged with anger came through loud and clear.
My body instantly reacted by trying to pull away from Solomon. Solomon just turned me around and wrapped his hand gently around my waist, brushing my hair around to one side so that he could lean down and whisper in my ear, "The ex has finally arrived."
"Does this happen every time?" I whispered back to him.
"No."
Solomon looked up at Von's red face and chuckled under his breath, "A little miffed, are you?" He shook with his laugher as Von ran his strong fingers through his hair and glared at Solomon.
"Solomon. Figures. You didn't waste any time trying to position yourself next to the queen. It's always money and power with you, Solomon. You manipulative, conniving, asshole! What are you doing with Celeste?!"
"Well, if I am trying to position myself, as you say, then I guess I must have been trying to do just that… if it were the truth." Solomon glared at Von, "But yet, I was not."
"How convenient that you would say so. You practically had your tongue all the way down her throat!"
I hiccuped with sudden fear. What had I done?
Solomon looked down at me with a quick frown. "You need to desist, Von. You are making her fearful." He stroked my arm and whispered, "He will never hurt you. I would never allow anyone to."
Von glared at Solomon and fisted his hands at his sides as he seethed, "That is because you… are… the… guard! It is your JOB!"
Solomon simply laughed and stood at attention. "You know my background. I am only a knight in the queen's service because of my solemn oath to her protection." He nodded down at me.
Von took three long steps that put himself very close to the both of us. Basically towering over me, the two men stood eye-to-eye, "And who is going to protect her from
you
, Solomon?"
"Okay, boys, enough with the pissing contest." My voice was firm (
thank you, Lord!)
as I placed both hands on Von's broad… muscular and manly… chest.
Oh my gosh, his muscles had muscles! What do these men
DO
when they aren't trying to track me down?!