Magic Kiss (Hope Falls Book 11) (34 page)

But she did care, and in her soul, she knew that this might seem like an insignificant decision—note or talk—but it was important to her to handle this the right way.

“Emma?” Logan’s deep voice filled the front room.

Slowly, she lowered her hands from her face while her heart pounded so hard that she thought it might beat right out of her chest. Logan was standing in the hallway, with no shirt, his sweats hanging low on his waist. Really, it was one of his best looks.

The good news was that her decision had been made for her. The bad news was, now that she was looking into the chocolate pools—commonly referred to as the windows to the soul—she had no idea what to say or how to get through this.

“Going somewhere?” He crossed his arms and inclined his head to Drew’s duffel bag.

“Um…yeah… I just… I’m…” she said breathlessly, her tongue suddenly feeling like a bee had stung it. “Drew and I are going to stay at Mountain Ridge.”

His eyes narrowed. “Why?”

Good question
. A minute ago, the list of reasons had been running through her mind like she had been scrolling through the contacts on her phone. But right now, she had nothing.

“I’m, ummm… I need to finish my book,” she stammered.

What?

Where in the heck did that come from?

His left brow rose as he asked, “You can’t do that here?”

“No.” Emma shook her head as tears began to fill her eyes.

“Why?” Logan’s jaw ticked.

Irritation was radiating off him, and she understood why he was frustrated. Instead of talking to him and then moving out like a normal person, she’d made the decision and packed up in the middle of the night like a thief.

Logan deserved better. Logan deserved the truth.

Her bottom lip quivered as she took in a deep breath, and a single tear slipped down her cheek.

“Um, because I love you,” she said, her voice trembling as much as her bottom lip. She tried to smile as she explained, “I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. I really thought that we could…you know… That I could…that I could separate my feelings from our research. But I was wrong.” She sucked in a shaky breath as she sniffed, shrugging her shoulders in frustration. “Actually, I think it might’ve happened even if we hadn’t started…doing research.”

She grabbed Drew’s bag then stood. With every ounce of sincerity in her body, she said, “I just want to say thank you, Logan. Seriously, you’ve been so amazing to Drew and me, and I honestly don’t know how to repay you. I hope that what happened between us doesn’t keep you away for five years like when you came to visit in Seattle. Drew loves you. And,
obviously
, I do too.” She gestured to herself, trying to lighten the situation a little.

It didn’t work.

Logan didn’t smile. He didn’t move. He didn’t speak.

Not knowing what else to do, she lifted her hand in an awkward goodbye. “So thanks again, and I’m sorry for….how things worked out. You were…are amazing. Thank you.”

Turning, she opened the door and rushed to her car as fast as possible, tears streaming down her cheeks. When she got inside, she shut the door, placed her hands on the steering wheel, and took one last look at the cabin.

If this were a book she was writing, Logan would chase after her. Tell her that he loved her and couldn’t live without her. That, whatever they had to do, they would figure it out, because unless they were together, nothing else mattered.

As she stared at the front door, which she hadn’t shut in her rush to get out of there, she couldn’t help but hope that Logan would appear in it. That, just this once, her life would have a happy ever after.

But the door slowly swinging closed, reminded her that this was real life, not a romance novel. And reality was cruel. She’d learned that lesson long ago.

As she put her car in reverse, her tears dried up and her emotions went numb. She reverted into a mode that she unfortunately knew all too well.

Survival mode.

No matter what—whether it was finding out at sixteen that she was going to be a mom, having her parents abandon her, becoming a widow and single mom before she was even legally allowed to drink, or having her heart broken into a million pieces by the first man who’d made her see herself as a woman—she would survive.

As she drove away on autopilot, she said her personal mantra. “You can do this. No matter what happens, you will be fine.”

‡

“T
hanks for coming out on the water with me today. I hope we can do it again sometime,” Charlie said from the passenger’s seat of Logan’s pickup.

“Yeah. I hope we can too.” To Logan’s surprise, he’d actually meant it.

When Charlie had knocked on his door that morning, fishing rods in hand, he almost hadn’t answered it. But then he’d remembered Drew asking if Charlie had said that he was sorry and saying that he would do anything to be able to go fishing with his own dad. So, instead of doing what he’d really wanted to, which was crawl back into bed and pull the covers over his head like he’d been doing for the last week, he’d said yes.

Being out on the lake with Charlie had been good. They hadn’t talked much, which Logan had appreciated. They’d just fished in comfortable silence. It was actually the first time Logan had ever felt like he had a dad in his life. And he hadn’t realized how much he’d needed it.

Since Emma and Drew had left, his life had pretty much completely turned to shit. All he did all day was miss them. For thirty years, he’d gotten through each day just fine. Sure, he’d had bad days, but he’d never felt like something was missing. He’d never felt lost.

As they turned off the main road and headed towards home, Charlie slapped his hands on his thighs. “So I haven’t seen Blondie and The Kid around much.”

Logan was pretty sure Charlie knew exactly where “Blondie and The Kid” were. This was Hope Falls. Everyone knew where they were. But he figured that, since they were almost home, he might as well play along.

“Yeah. They’re staying over at Mountain Ridge.”

“Oh yeah. I’d heard something about that.” Charlie nodded. “Did it just get too crowded over at your place?”

The last person he was going to talk to about this was his father, who’d abandoned his children and their mother. Tightening his grip on the wheel, Logan stared straight ahead.

“Look.” Charlie’s voice grew serious. “I knew they’d moved out, and everyone has a different story as to why. It’s none of my business. I know that.”

Logan felt a “but” coming.

“But the thing is—”

There it is.

“—I thought the two of you made a real nice couple. Seeing you two together was the first time I saw you look truly happy. I know that I’m probably not the person you want to talk to about this, but I just want you to know that I’m here, son. I’m here if you want to talk.”

Maybe it was because he’d been in his house for the last six days without any human contact. Maybe it was because he just needed to vent. Or maybe Charlie was a better counselor than Logan gave him credit for. But, whatever the reason, Logan did something he’d never thought he’d do.

He talked—really talked—to his dad.

“It doesn’t matter if I was happy or not. It would never work.”

“Why’s that?” Charlie asked with zero judgment.

“I’m fucked up. That’s why. Emma and Drew, they deserve someone who isn’t dealing with the things I am.”

“Are you talking about the PTSD, the incident on the job?”

“How do you know abou—” Halfway through the question, he realized the answer and he swore under his breath. “Fucking Lucky.”

“Your brother is worried about you. When he found out you were staying across the street from me, he thought I should know, just in case I could help,” Charlie explained.

“You’ve known this whole time?” Logan was going to kill his brother.

“Yeah. And, Logan, let me tell you something. I’ve seen fucked up, okay? I was fucked up. A lot of the people I counsel are
fucked
up. But you, son—
you
are not fucked up.

“That stuff on the job? You did what you had to do. Everyone sees that—except you. So let me ask you something. What if it had been Lucky in your situation? Or Levi or Adam? And they’d done
exactly
what you did. Would you think of them what you think of yourself?”

Shit.
Logan had never thought of it that way. If one of his brothers or his cousin had walked into what he had and done what he did, he would’ve thought they’d done exactly what they’d needed to do.

“Look, no thanks to me, you turned out to be a good man. A really good man. Levi did a great job with you and your brother.” Charlie started getting choked up, and it hit Logan right in the chest. “I’m sorry that
I
was such a fuck-up when you were kids. I said and did things I would do
anything
to take back, but I can’t. There’s nothing I can do to make up for the past. All I can do is call it as I see it now, and let me tell you something, son. Emma and Drew love you and I know you love them. They would be lucky to have you. Just as lucky as you would to have them.”

Charlie’s words shouldn’t have meant anything to him. He shouldn’t have cared about anything he had to say. But they did and he did.

As they came around the corner of their street, he saw an unfamiliar, black SUV was parked in his driveway.

“Who the hell is that?”

His question was answered when his twin brother stepped out of the driver’s side and waved.

“What the hell is Lucky doing here?” Logan asked as he pulled into his driveway.

Before he had even cut the engine, Lucky had opened Logan’s door and had him in a half-headlock, half-hug thing.

While stepping out of the truck, Logan had to admit that, even though he was pissed at his brother, it was good to see him. So, as he hugged him back, he repeated his question.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I’m training here.” Lucky threw his arms up like he was a gymnast who’d just landed a dismount before hugging Charlie. “It’s good to see you, Pops.”

“You’re what?” This was the first Logan was hearing about it.

“Yeah. I moved my training to Hope Falls. You’re here, Levi’s here, Adam’s here, Pops is here—I felt left out.”

He knew that his brother was “joking,” but that was probably closer to the truth than Lucky wanted to admit. He was only younger than Logan by five minutes, but he definitely acted like the baby of the family. He never wanted to miss anything or be “left out.”

“Where are you staying?” Logan asked.

“With you,” Lucky answered like it was a no-brainer. “I mean, when Emma and Drew were here, I had planned on renting a place above the gym space I rented, but now that they’re headed back to Seattle, I figured you’ve got the space.”

“They’re headed back to Seattle?” This was also news to Logan.

“Yeah. I stopped by the Roadhouse on my way into town, and Shelby was heading out to some going-away party for Drew and Emma.”

Logan’s head was spinning. It had been bad enough when they were just across town. He couldn’t even imagine them being two states away.

“I was just about to head over there. I haven’t seen Em in years, and—”

Not waiting to hear the rest of what Lucky had to say, Logan got back in the truck. He was pulling out of the driveway before Lucky could get another word in. His brother, who was in insane shape because of his MMA training, was able to make his way around the hood and get in the through the passenger’s side door.

It was actually fairly impressive—not that he would admit it to his brother.

“You boys have fun!” Charlie waved from the driveway, a smile from ear to ear on his face.

“So, what’s the plan?” Lucky asked as they sped down the road, his eyes gleaming like the time they had plotted to shoplift cigarettes when they were twelve. They’d never made it to the store because Levi had caught them in the mid-planning stage and said that if they ever did anything stupid like that, he would kick both of their asses and take them to prison himself.

When Logan didn’t answer, Lucky clapped.

“No plan. Got it. Just going in blind. I like it, bro.”

The only plan Logan had was to stop Emma from going back to Seattle. How he would accomplish that? He had no idea.

*