Maggie Mine (23 page)

“I dinna understand? Brodie has lost his memories?” Maggie asked, dashing at tears, straightening.

“Aye. He doesna ken he is laird of Urquhart. He doesna even ken Urquhart as his home.”

Nicholas couldn’t imagine how frustrating that would be, to yourself and to those around you. But, thank God, Brodie was alive. It weighed heavily on him again that he should have insisted he and his men search harder for his friend. Had they given up too easily? But they’d found no traces of him. No one knew where he
—
or his body
—
had been taken.

Maggie pushed from his embrace. “I must go to him! Now!”

Douglas shook his head, looking worried. “Nay, lass. No’ yet. Yer brother is a bitter mon right now. Confused. Angry. No’ fit company. He wants only to be left alone ‘til his memories return.”

“Then why did you come here?” Nicholas asked angrily. It hurt him seeing his wife so upset.

“Because she needed to ken that Brodie lived. He is the only family she has left,” Douglas stated stubbornly.

“I dinna care that he wishes to be left alone. ‘Tis wrong. I must go to him.” Maggie glared at Nicholas, determination filling every inch of her small body. He saw the end of what progress they’d made in their marriage in her eyes. He’d failed Brodie. He’d failed her.

Still, Nicholas knew Douglas was right. She would be furious with him, but he shook his head. “No. Your brother is a proud man. He would not want you to see him like this, confused, not knowing who he is. You must give him some time.”

As he’d expected, fire flashed in her eyes. She stood rigid before him. “Ye left him behind. Ye wanted him to be dead. Maybe ye wanted possession of Urquhart all along. Ye planned all of this; including stealing me away and having yer king force us to marry.”

She dismissed him and scowled at Douglas. “My brother needs me. He may not ken it, but he needs me!”

Douglas met Nicholas’s gaze. The man clearly wanted to do right by his former lady, but he was loyal to her brother as well.

Sucking in a steely breath, Nicholas said firmly, “No. You are not going to him now, wife. There will be no more discussion on the matter.” He knew the issue was far from settled between them, but this was all he could do for now. He looked to Douglas. “You and your men are welcome here as long as you wish to stay.”

At Douglas’s nod of acknowledgment, Nicholas took firm hold of Maggie’s arm and steered her through the gathered crowd. He spoke quietly to her. “You will obey me on this, wife.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I will go to Brodie. Maybe no’ today, but verra soon.” Then her lower lip trembled and tears streamed down her miserable face. All the fire and determination seemed to fade from her. “I have to. He is my brother and I love him.”

Again, Nicholas wished she could love him even half as much. He understood her need to go to Brodie, but he also knew how frustrated and angry the man probably was at the moment. Brodie was a warrior, hard, fiercely loyal to his beliefs and to his clan. Being cut low like this by not knowing who he was, would be difficult. He needed time to either regain his memories or to adjust to starting a new life.

“Give him a bit more time, Maggie.” He gently slid his hand down to rest over her tender bottom and she flinched. “And give your bottom time to recover as well before you try sitting a saddle.”

She blinked. “Then ye will let me go to him? Just no’ yet?”

“Aye.
We
will go to him, just not yet.”

*
*
*

Douglas and his clansmen stayed two days before finally riding out just after dawn. Nicholas stood staring at the fireplace in the great hall as he heard the
horses’
hooves clambering over the drawbridge. The tables behind him were only half-filled with soldiers breaking their fasts. He smelled the fresh bread and cheese the maids set upon the tables. He hadn’t eaten yet, didn’t feel like he could. His stomach was as upset as his life.

He thought about Maggie still upstairs in their bedchamber. Still upset with him. He’d had many long talks with Douglas in private, needing to discuss matters at Urquhart without Maggie’s presence. She hadn’t liked being left out, but Douglas had been reluctant to talk about the situation in front of her. He and Nicholas were very worried about Brodie ever regaining his memories. In her disappointment about being excluded from the talks, Maggie grew more frustrated every day. She’d started pressing him about exactly when he would take her to Urquhart. His own stubbornness had kicked in and he refused to discuss it, although he had talked to Douglas about leaving for Urquhart in less than a fortnight.

He studied the embers left from a fire last night in the massive fireplace. He hadn’t made love to Maggie since Douglas’s arrival. The embers that had started to flame in their marriage had died and he feared they would ever be ignited again. Tension was high between them. Even yesterday, in her anger with him, she’d snapped out at him in front of Douglas and many of their men in the hall at sup that she wished
he
had been the one left behind in Tunis. That she wished him as dead on the battlefields there as her father and Fergus. The words had struck at his heart, although he knew they’d only been spoken in her pain. She might not be in love with him now, but she would never wish him true harm. At least he was fairly certain of that.

Lost in his thoughts, Nicholas only half-listened to soft footsteps coming up behind him. A gentle hand touched his shoulder and said quietly, “Nicholas.”

Thinking Maggie was finally trying to make up with him and desperate to hold her again, he turned. At the same time he drew her into his arms, he closed his eyes and thanked the Lord for letting her forgive him. He lowered his lips to hers.

The kiss didn’t feel the same as before. The body in his embrace different, yet she clung to him and deepened the kiss.

“Ye bastard!” Maggie’s snarl of outrage from a distance caught his attention.

From a distance!
Horrified, Nicholas thrust the woman out of his arms.

Mary gave him a crafty smile, licking her lips.

In that instant he realized she’d planned the moment. Sickened, he shoved her away from him and strode toward Maggie, standing at the foot of the stairs, her face pinched tight.

“’Tisn’t what you think, wife.”

“Ye think me a fool,
husband
? I
have
no’ let ye rut on me these last days and ye turn to
her
!” She held her body erect, hands fisting at her sides. “”Twas easy to turn to her, let her comfort ye miserable hide. Like ‘twas easy fer ye to abandon Brodie.”

She spun away, hurried back up the stairs, shoulders shaking as she sobbed in heartbreak.

When he started after Maggie, Fia raced by him and glowered at him. She stopped between him and
the
stairs. “Nay! Leave her be.”

Nicholas grabbed Fia by the waist and set her aside. “Stay out of this!”

Before he could take a step
,
Mary was at his side, latching onto his arm to stop him. “The maid is right. You need to leave Maggie alone right now. She needs to calm down before she will hear your explanation.”

“You caused this,” he accused. Maggie had been right all along: Mary was trouble.

She gave what appeared to be an apologetic look. “It wasn’t my intention to have you kiss me, Lord Middleham. I merely thought to speak with you. To offer you comfort in some small way.”

He snorted and started around her. He didn’t buy her excuse for a second.

Again, she took hold of his arm. As he glanced at her, she said loud enough for all the people nearby eagerly listening, “She dislikes you right now. Hates you even. Only yesterday many of us heard her say she wished you dead.”

He snorted again. “Maggie didn’t mean the words. She spoke in anger and frustration. Understandable frustration with me.”

Mary continued to look at him in warning. “Maybe so. But it might not be wise to push her at the moment. She’s hurt anew. She’s angry.” She glanced at Fia and others close by, and then back at him. “I fear for your safety,
M
y
L
ord. She has a small dirk and
—”

“Maggie would
never
hurt me,” Nicholas roared. “At least not with a weapon.”

“Did she not shoot you with an arrow?” Mary nodded toward the leg which still pained him at times.

He blew out a breath to quiet his temper. “She believed she was defending her home.”

Realizing Mary had now caused too many of his people to possibly question Maggie’s intentions toward him now, he spun around and stormed through the hall and out the doors. He needed to get away from Maggie, from Mary, from everyone and everything. He would take a ride, alone.

*
*
*

Maggie raced into their bedchamber and slammed the door. The loudness of the slam was like a slap to her ears. Like finding Nicholas kissing Mary had been like a slap to her face, to her heart. She could barely see through her tears as she walked to the bed and then flung herself down upon it. She clutched his pillow to her heaving chest. Tears quickly soaked it.
He’d kissed Mary. Good Lord, he’d held her within his arms and kissed her.

Then she recalled the words she’d flung at him. “I
have
no’ let ye rut on me these last days and ye turn to
her
!” How could she have
said
such horrible things to him? Even worse, she’d thrown the words at him in front of many of his men and their servants. How could she face them? How could she face
him
? And she knew that somehow Mary had maneuvered the situation. Yet she’d run away like a coward. She
ha
d just hurt so much. One more blow that had caused her a moment’s insanity.

Clutching Nicholas’s pillow, inhaling his scent, she felt the stirrings of arousal. It wasn’t that she hadn’t let him make love
—
not “rut”
—
to her, but he’d kept his distance out of respect for how much she’d been hurting. She knew that with all her heart. He was a good and decent man. Yes, she’d accused him of leaving her brother behind, but that was only her pain talking. She’d seen his misery and
the
guilt in his eyes. He would never have been that cruel. She believed him when he said he hadn’t been able to do anything more to find Brodie. But it was so easy to blame him for whatever had happened to Brodie.

She needed to make peace with her husband before it was too late. Before she finally said too many hurtful things that made him give up on her, on them. But she was so tired, so very, very tired. She closed her eyes for a moment. All she needed was a little rest and then she’d seek out Nicholas and apologize.

*
*
*

Nicholas had only stayed away a short while. The ride hadn’t calmed him as he’d hoped it would. He needed to talk to Maggie. He ached to hold her in his arms and find the words to make her forgive him. Not for Mary’s entrapping him, because he felt certain once his wife had calmed down she would have realized the truth of what she’d seen. He
ha
d told her too many times that he had absolutely no feelings for Lady Stanhope. And he’d shown her too many times with his gentle lovemaking how much
Maggie
meant to him. At least he hoped he had.

He left his horse with the
stable master
and walked determinedly toward the keep. He didn’t even stop to talk to either Richard or Gerald who were nearby, talking with a small group of soldiers. The only person he wanted to talk to right now was Maggie.

After stopping in the doorway of the keep for a second to allow his eyes to adjust to the dimmer light, he headed for the staircase in the corner. He nodded at a pair of men drinking together who looked up in curiosity as he strode by them. He tipped his head at a worried-looking young maid cleaning a table. But his steps were unwavering. His heart was heavy with dread and hope.

When he pushed open the door to their bedchamber, he found Maggie stretched out on the center of their bed. She clutched his pillow in her deep sleep. His body hardened at the sight of his beautiful wife. He hadn’t touched her, other than to hold her close, since Douglas had arrived. He’d wanted to make love to her, but she’d needed patience from him more than sex. But his patience was thinning. His body had needs that couldn’t be ignored for much longer.

She frowned in her sleep and gave a small whimper. It pinched his heart. She’d suffered so much lately. He
ha
d
leathered
her for running away in her determination to go to Urquhart in her need to look for Brodie. They’d argued and said things he felt certain neither had really meant, certainly he hadn’t. Then Douglas had arrived with shocking news of Brodie. And she’d wanted to go to her brother so badly, but he’d had to refuse it for now. They’d argued more after that.
Too much arguing. Not enough lovemaking
.