Lyndley (7 page)

Chapter Seven

Once he gets the tub filled and shuts the water off, he looks at me and grins. I watch the way his eyes change, desire filling them. How can he even look at me that way after what I told him yesterday?
 

“Lyn, I can see your mind working all this out. I already told you. What you told me last night doesn’t change the way I feel about you.” He leans in and softly kisses my lips. “Come on. Let’s get these muddy clothes off and get you clean.”
 

I look around the room. “I don’t have any clothes,” I mumble.
 

He grins. “I know. I’ll grab you some sweats and a t-shirt.”
 

I try to pull my shorts down, but I have a hard time bending my leg without hitting it on stuff. Walking over, he motions for me to stick my legs straight out. He grips the waistband of my shorts and gently pulls them down my legs, cautiously pulling them over the bump. He gently slides them off, then hooks his fingers into my panties next, taking the same caution while pulling those down. I use my shirt to cover myself and I hear him chuckle.

“What?” I ask.
 

He looks me up and down and smirks. “Lyn, it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before…”

Blushing, I look away. “I know. It’s just that, well… Things aren’t what they used to be before getting pregnant.” I still have stretch marks, even after working hard to get down to the weight I am now.
 

He grabs my face and looks me in the eyes. “If you want me to go, I will. Just say the word. I want you to be comfortable. I’ll come help you out when you’re ready.”
 

“I would like to be alone, please,” I whisper. He nods and helps me get to the edge so I can get in easily. I wait for him to walk out of the room before I take my shirt off.
 

I know I’m crazy for not letting him see me naked when we both still have feelings for each other, but if something else does happen between us, I don’t want to tarnish it by moving too fast or starting something for which we aren’t ready.

Slipping into the hot water, I moan at how good it feels. I slide down until the water is to my chin, then think about the last few weeks.
 

When I arrived home again, I never thought I would be sitting in Jax’s tub, let alone get along with him. I thought I would lose him forever when I told him about Gracilyn. A lone tear trails down my cheek.
 

For the last seven years, I haven’t thought a lot about Gracilyn because it hurt too much. Instead, I tried to mask the pain by keeping myself busy surrounding myself with people. In all honesty, though, I still struggle with her death every day. Some days, I can’t even get out of bed.

I scrub most of my body with the rag Jax left in the tub. When I get to the bump, I gently run the cloth over my leg and try to clean it as best I can. Once I am completely clean, I unplug the drain and slowly lift myself out of the tub.
 

When I wrap myself in a towel, I yell for Jax to bring me some clothes. I hear his boots coming towards the bathroom and when he opens the door, I see a frown on his face. He hands me the clothes, looking like he’s going to say something, but changes his mind. He walks back out of the bathroom, closing the door again.
Was I wrong about him not hating me
?

Once I get dressed, I try to make my way out of the bathroom. Using the counter and the wall, I am finally able to make my way to his bedroom. His head is down, looking at something in his hands. When I finally take a seat next to him, I look over at what it is…my picture of Gracilyn.
 

I can feel the tears start to gather in my eyes. I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I can tell he’s upset. “Were you going to tell me you had a picture of her?” His tone is icy.
 

“Yes. The doctor let me have a picture of her before I had to say goodbye.” I watch the tear slowly trail down his face. I want to comfort him, but I know he won’t want that from me right now.
 

“She looks just like you, Lynd,” he chokes out, looking at me. “God, she was fucking perfect. A beautiful little angel that was the spitting image of her beautiful mother.” My breath is knocked out of me. I didn’t think she looked like me at all. I only saw Jaxson in her.
 

“If you want, you can have that picture of her. I have one more in my bag at my parents’ house.” He nods, but doesn’t say anything. I watch him run a finger over her perfect little face, and I choke back a sob.
 

Reaching over, Jax pulls me into his arms and lays us back on the bed. We spend the next hour wrapped in each other’s arms.
 

By the time Tate shows back up at lunchtime, I can tell he's pissed that I am still here. Trying not to let him bother me, I hobble to the kitchen table, wincing the whole way. Jax asks me if I want anything to eat, and I meekly tell him no. He turns to look at me and I look down at the table, trying to keep off Tate’s radar.
 

Tate, of course, has a different thought on that. "So has she told you where your daughter's buried?" he says with disdain.
 

"Shut up, Tate!" Jax snaps. "Let me fucking deal with it. It has nothing to do with you. It's between me and Lyndley."

I hear the chair scrape against the title as Tate pushes away from the table, mumbling. He walks out the door, slamming it.

Sinking in my chair, I try to calm my nerves. Taking a peek at Jax, his back is to me, cooking something that smells amazing. I don't know what to say. I've also never heard him snap at Tate before. They've been best friends for as long as I can remember.
 

After about ten minutes, Jax plates lunch and brings two plates to the table, setting one in front of me. We sit at the table and eat in silence. Several things are running through my head, and I know he's probably dying to know the answer to Tate’s question.
 

Clearing my throat, I mumble, "She's buried in New York at Saint Peter’s.”

His eyes snap to mine. "I want to bring her here. She belongs in Texas with her family.”

"I want her here, too. I miss being able to go sit with her,” I croak, the tears threatening to spill. I don't like feeling so vulnerable around him.

"You'd be okay with having her brought here?" he asks, hopefully.

"Yes,” I whisper. "But I don't know how to move her or how much it would cost. I had to save for months just to get her
buried
there."

Grabbing my hand, he says, “I’ll take care of everything.”
 

We spend the rest of the day talking about everything that has gone on over the last ten years. We laugh, we cry, and we finally get some closure we both have been needing.

Chapter Eight

At about seven, Jax finally takes me back home. When we pull up, my mom is looking out the window, watching and waiting. "She must think I'm gonna attack you on the front porch like I used to,” he says, laughing. I can't help but smile. We were always attached at the hip…or the mouth.

"Yeah. She probably thinks we ran off again,” I say, opening the truck door.

"She knows?" He looks at the front window.

I nod. "I'm sorry I told her. I just needed to talk to someone before I told you about the baby. It was the lesser of two evils.”

He smirks. "Well, we are still legally married, so I can kiss you whenever I want." He leans towards me, his hand grazing my jaw and tangling in my hair, his tongue slipping into my mouth. As much as I want to deepen the kiss, I know we shouldn't do this yet. We need more time.

Pulling away, I kiss his cheek and smile. "Thank you for everything today. Sorry I kept you from the ranch. I would have been fine alone."

"It was my pleasure. Plus, we got to talk about a lot of things that needed to be talked about. Thank you for being honest with me."

"What's going to happen between us, Jax?" I'm nervous to hear the answer.
 

He smiles. "Lyndley, you and I are going to get through this. Married. Lots of babies.” I see the way his eyes darken when he talks about our future, making me want to strip down and straddle his lap.
 

Shit. No. I need to get my head focused
. "You still want to be with me even after everything?"
 

He nods. "We can take it slow if you want, but it is gonna happen. I'm tired of waiting for us to figure it out." He crushes his lips to mine, making me forget everything else. Pulling away, he gives me a smirk. “Let me help you out.”
 

When he gets to my side, he helps me down, then whispers, "I'll do whatever you need me to do to make this work between us. I never should have let you leave that day. I won’t make that mistake twice. I know we still have some stuff to work out, but I only want you.”
 

I’m speechless. What do you say to that? “Okay…”
 

He walks me to the front door and lightly kisses me on the lips. As I open the door and start to make my way inside, I glance back. With a smile and a wink, he walks back to his truck and starts it up. I give him a small wave and softly close the door. Leaning against it, I lay my head back and think about everything that has happened.
 

Am I scared about what the future brings with Jax? Yes.
 

Do I want to see if we can last? Yes.
 

Am I willing to get my heart broken by him again? Yes.
 

Just as I’m about to hobble to my room, I hear my mom clear her throat. I didn’t even notice she was standing there. “Hi, sweetie. How was your day and why are you limping?” She asks with a frown.
 

I blush. “Well, it was great at first. I got a job at the diner, but then I fell down the hill at the creek and Jaxson had to come save me. We did have a chance to talk more and he wants to bring our daughter back.” My eyes start to get a little misty.
 

“Oh, sweetie, that’s great news! I can’t wait!” I can see the tears forming in her eyes, as well.
 

I nod and smile. “He found my picture of her, so I gave it to him.”