Lured In (2 page)

“So he doesn't know that you don't go anywhere near the water.”

“Mm-mm.”

Kate seemed to consider the information for a few seconds. “Well, that's okay, right? If it was only the one date, he can't really hold it against you. He probably won't even remember, so when he gets here, just work it into the conversation somehow.”

Jessie chewed her bottom lip for a second, then winced as she confessed more. “It was actually almost three months.”

“
Three months?
What were you going to do—wait until you were married before you told him?”

“I know, okay? But I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. I mean, God almighty, I've lived out here in the middle of freakin' nowhere for most of my adult life, but I don't go in or on the water. That's not normal, Kate; I don't care who you are.

“And, honestly, the first time he asked me out, I was sure he only did it because Liam practically cuffed us together and forced us to go out, so it didn't occur to me that I'd need to tell him the truth, because I didn't expect it to go any further than that first date.”

“But then…”

“Yeah. But then.” Jessie shook her head slowly. “I don't know…I'm an idiot. And then I moved back here and—”

“You used this place as an excuse to not see him again.”

“No.” She'd barely choked out the lie before conceding. “Okay, maybe a little bit, but I'm sure he would have ended it once he realized how incompatible we were, and if he didn't, I would have, because he—”

“Wait—how did you manage to keep it from him for three months? Surely to God he must have wanted to do something water-related in that time.”

“Cha! I came up with every excuse in the book, from working late to faking an allergy to chlorine to the smart girl's go-to excuse for everything.”

Kate's puzzled frown only lasted a couple of seconds before she grinned. “Cramps?”

“Damn right. Easiest and fastest way to freak a guy out and make him shut up.”

“Seems like it was an awful lot of work. You should have told him.”

Jessie was sure the whole thing seemed completely ridiculous to someone like Kate, who wasn't afraid of anything. And maybe it was, but that didn't make it any easier for Jessie to get over it.

“You don't know what it's like, Kate. When people find out you have a fear or phobia, they generally fall into one of two camps. In Camp A are the people who think you need to be protected from that fear, so they smother you with kindness, doing everything they can to shelter you and keep you as far away from it as possible. The people in Camp B insist they can cure you of it; they're the ones who get up in your face and start pushing you to do things you're not ready to do.”

“Not everybody's like that.”

“No,” Jessie conceded with a smile. “Not all, but outside of you guys here, everyone else who knows has fallen into one of those categories.”

“Which camp did you think Sam would fall into?”

“I had no idea, and that's what worried me. One more reason I didn't tell him.”

“So how did you leave it when you moved back here, then? What excuse did you give for not wanting to see him anymore?”

Jessie pulled her feet up onto the chair and tucked her knees under her chin.

“I told him I needed to put all my energy and focus into getting this place up and running again, and he was heading down to the Gulf to scout out locations anyway, so we just sort of…left it.”

“But—hang on—before you started to say something about how you would have ended it anyway. Why?”

Jessie lifted her hands a little, then let them fall to the armrests. “Maybe I just hadn't given it enough time, but it never felt like I was falling hard for him, you know? I liked him, but when I look at you and Liam, I know I never felt that way with Sam.”

“But surely you and he…?” Kate's brow lifted, but she didn't finish her question. She didn't have to.

“Eventually, sure,” Jessie said, shrugging slowly. “But it took me a while to get there with him.”

“Hmm. Are you still friendly with him?”

“Yeah, I still hear from him once in a while.”

“Define ‘once in a while.' When was the last time you heard from him?”

“I don't know, two or three weeks ago, I guess.” Jessie couldn't help but smile. “He sent me a picture of him with this huge leatherback turtle he and his crew came across. I think I still have it if you want to see it.”

“Two or three weeks,” Kate repeated, completely ignoring any mention of the turtle. “Okay. So not stalker-ish, but it's possible that he's still got a thing for you. Were you upset when it ended?”

“Honestly?” Jessie cringed a little. “Not as much as I thought I should be, if that makes any sense. I mean, we had a pretty good time together, but it was only a few months, Kate; it wasn't like we were the love of each other's lives or anything.”

“That doesn't always happen overnight, Jessie; sometimes it takes time. And if he's kept in touch, maybe he'd been hoping that's where you were headed. Has he ever said he's still interested?”

“No, and I'm sure that once he gets here and finds out what a lunatic I am, it won't really matter anymore, will it?” A quick rush of panic washed over her. “Oh my God, you don't think it'll ruin things for the Buoys, do you?”

“How could it ruin anything? So he finds out that you don't go in the water—big deal. What's the worst that can happen?”

Jessie snorted quietly, hoping Kate couldn't tell how many ridiculous and unlikely reasons were now streaking through her brain.

“Look,” Kate said, shaking her head. “The producer I spoke to told me Sam had already asked her to feel us out about filming here, but I called her before she had time to call us. I just assumed he was keen to get out on the boat with the fish whisperer, but I guess it's
you
he's keen on seeing, not Finn.”

“Well, I don't know about that. You know how guys are about fishing—they'd give up a kidney for a good day out on the water. And if that day includes going out with someone like Finn—and Liam—it's unlikely Sam has anything else on his mind.”

“Yeah.” Kate chuckled, low and suggestive. “I'd give up a kidney, too, to get Liam alone on a boat.”

“Easy, now. I was talking more about the fact he's a former major-league pitcher…and people love athletes….Any of that ringing a bell?” Smirking, Jessie waved her hand in front of Kate's face. “Hello?
Bueller?
”

“Whew.” Kate waggled her eyebrow and grinned. “Sorry, just having a little moment there.”

“Yeah, I gathered that.”

“Anyway,” Kate said, “
Hooked
is coming next month regardless, and, sure, if we can work it so they come back every year, more's the better, but that has nothing to do with whatever is or was going on between you and Sam. I bet he won't even care that you don't go in the water, and if he does, then he can piss off. Or…”

“Or what?”

Kate hesitated, tipping her head from side to side.

“Or maybe you should think about finally learning to swim. Don't look at me like that—I'm not going to shove you off the end of the dock, and I'm not saying you need to take up white-water rafting, but maybe it's time you worked through that fear so you can at least try to get in the water. For you, I mean, not for Sam or anyone else.” Her grin widened as she cocked her eyebrow. “Then again, it's not some schmuck we're talking about here, Jessie. It's
Sam freaking Ross
.”

“Right, because that makes all the difference.” Jessie tried to laugh it off, but Kate's words just kept echoing in her ears.

At least try to get in the water
.

Every time the words replayed in her head, Jessie's brain threw up the same flat-out rejection it did every time she'd even remotely considered the idea—and she'd considered it hundreds of times over the years. Hell, just this past spring she'd started to consider it again, and then—

“Sorry to interrupt.” Olivia Shaw's voice from the open doorway made them both jump a little, and yet Jessie had never been happier for an interruption.

“No problem. What's up?”

“First off, if I heard that right, you and Sam Ross are—”

“They're not,” Kate interrupted. “They used to be.”

“What happened? Did he cheat?”

“No!”

“Did you?”

Irked that Olivia would even suggest a thing, Jessie clicked her tongue. “Seriously?”

“Hey, it happens.”

“Not with me it doesn't.”

“Then what's the problem?” Olivia asked, wiggling her eyebrows. “I mean, really, how many Sam Rosses does a girl get a shot at in her lifetime? His smile alone is enough to rock a girl through a big ‘O,' if you know what I mean.”

“Olivia!”

“What? I'm just sayin'.”

“Hang on a second.” Squinting slightly, Kate held up her hand like a stop sign. “What do you know about hot guys and what their smiles can do to a girl?”

Olivia flicked her long blond hair back over her shoulder and grinned.

“I'm a lesbian, Kate, I'm not blind. And that boy…”
S
he whistled. “There's a whole lot of good stuff going on there. If you ask me, Jessie, you need to do whatever you can to get yourself more of that.”

She said it so seriously, Jessie almost laughed.

“You've been up here for months without getting any from anyone,” Olivia said with a disapproving sigh. “And that's not healthy. So if you get another chance with sweet-looking Sammy, you need to jump on it.
On him
. And if that means getting in the water and doing things that'll scare the fish, then hells to the yeah, that's what you should be doing.”

It was no secret that Jessie didn't go in the water, and while Kate and the O'Donnells all knew it was more than just not being able to swim, Jessie had never told any of them why she didn't go in the water.

“Never mind,” she said, dismissing it all with a wave. “There is no Sam and me anymore, so all of that is crazy talk.”

“But if it turns out he's still interested,” Kate said slowly, as though testing the waters, “I hope you won't just blow him off. It'd be good for you to have someone in your life, and, let's face it, if that person turns out to be Sam Ross, it'd be great for the Buoys.”

“Oh for the—” Jessie started, then rolled her eyes when Kate winked at her. “That's great you guys, thanks. You've both been super helpful.”

“We do what we can, right, Kate?”

“Absolutely.” Hands fisted, Kate shook them like pompoms. “Go, Team Sam!”

Jessie shook her head, then pointed toward the martini glass in Olivia's hand.

“Did you need my help with that?”

“Oh, right. Joe wants a martini, and the only thing I can think to put in it is vermouth and olives.”

Jessie was out of her chair like a shot. As brilliant as Olivia was in the kitchen, she'd proven time and again that tending bar wasn't anywhere in the realm of her expertise. And if the “Joe” in question was Joe Finder, any hint of an olive in his glass would send him into anaphylactic shock.

“I'll get it, thanks.”

She took the glass from Olivia and headed toward the bar in the restaurant, with Kate and Olivia's quiet cheers chasing after her.

“Team Sam, Team Sam, Team Sam!”

For the rest of the night, Jessie tried to focus on the guests, as she always did, making sure they had everything they needed, that Olivia received the meal orders quickly and accurately, and that Finn and his brothers got a bit of time by themselves so they could all go over the
Hooked
contract before Ronan left tomorrow afternoon.

And yet, no matter how hard Jessie tried to focus on other things, Kate's voice seemed to be on repeat in the back of her mind.

Maybe it's time you worked through that fear.

Kate was right; it was way past time Jessie learned to deal with it. But last spring when she'd watched Finn take a header off the dock, every one of her nightmares came roaring back in brilliant blasts of Technicolor—only this time they were joined by a silent scream in her head.

Not Finn!

Instead of running to help him, every muscle in her body locked up, making it impossible to take a single step. Even after he'd pulled himself up onto the dock and proved that he was fine, it had taken her days to completely shake off the terror.

And every day since, whenever she looked at him—which she seemed to be doing a lot of lately—she cursed herself more. What if he'd needed help? What if he'd hit his head and drowned because she couldn't get her stupid self in the water?

It wasn't the first time she'd worried about it and it probably wouldn't be the last, not unless she could finally buck up and do something about it. But could she? After being held hostage by fear for so many years, could she finally put the nightmares and images of her sister's blue-tinged skin out of her mind?

No, not completely anyway, but she couldn't spend the rest of her life being held prisoner by it, either.

It was time.

Right
.
Okay
.
You can do this
.

How often had she said that to herself over the years? Too many to count. But how many times had she actually believed even for a fraction of a second that she
could
do it?

Not once—not until this moment, right now. She didn't know what had changed, but she couldn't waste time worrying about that; all she could do was cling to that delicate thread of belief with both hands.

She needed to do it. For herself, of course, but it would also allow her to be hands-on in the only part of the operations at the Buoys that she'd never been part of before. And that would be a huge help to everyone.