Lulu's Loves (32 page)

He handed me a glass and raised his in toast. “To new roads.” He didn’t wait for me to say anything. “May I look around?”

“Sure,” I said, proudly.

He took his glass and wandered through the house. Finally, he returned and I saw him open the French glass dining room doors and looked out before returning to the kitchen. “Nice yard. I’m intrigued by the tires.”

“My spring project,” I told him and pulled up a picture on my phone. Primary colored tires were stacked in three staggering levels and colorful flowers spilled from the openings.

“I love it! More of the whimsy,” he smiled.

I handed him a plate. “We can eat here or in the dining room.”

“I like here,” he said, and pulled out a chair.

Small talk and mimosas filled the hour we spent at the table.

Finally, he pushed his plate aside and turned to me. “Let’s go to the zoo.”

“What?” I laughed.

“I know you aren’t comfortable hanging out here, so I read in the hotel guide that you have a great zoo here. Let’s go.”

“I’ll grab my shoes and be back in a minute.”

When I returned, the kitchen was spic and span clean, and I smiled.

“Leave it,” he said when I grabbed my purse. “Grab your ID if you think you need it, and slip your key in your pocket. Come on.” He reached for my hand and I allowed it to slip into his.

We walked outside, and there in the driveway sat the Shelby. I smiled and he noticed. “Had to have some work done a while back, but I’ll revive her as long as I can.”

The drive to the zoo was quiet. I wasn’t sure what to say, and I got the feeling that Thom was afraid to say anything. The day was gorgeous as we began to walk. We made our way through “Africa” and then the gardens on the way to “South America.” Finally, we stopped for a while at the river before making our way to “Asia.”

I sat on a bench to enjoy the view while Thom left to get drinks. He returned to share and enjoy the beauty of the day. It was cool, but the sun was warm.

“This is a nice zoo. It’s just the right size to enjoy. I’m enjoying it Lulu.”

“Me too,” I answered, but didn’t look at him.

“Don’t hide your smile from me Lulu.”

“You said that to me when I first met you.” I looked up and his smile was anxious. I smiled again and wondered what would come of all this. What
should
come of it. I watched him as he watched me. My heart felt warm. I hadn’t felt that feeling in a very long time.

“Come on,” he said, reaching once more, for my hand. “Asia awaits.”

By the time we’d made our way around the park it was starting to get dark. “The park closes at five and reopens at six for the holiday lights,” I said.

“Then we’ll go grab a bite of something and return, unless you have something planned.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant; I guess I was staring at him. “Do you have other plans Lulu? I can take you home.”

“No.”

After dinner, we returned to the zoo to ogle at the light display. We walked around chatting about the day and drank hot chocolate. Finally, we headed toward my house.

“Thank you for a wonderful day, Lulu,” he said as we drove.

“It was a good day. I enjoyed it.”

When we got to the house, he walked me to the door. As I opened it, he reached for my hand.

“Good night, Lulu. Thank you. I’ll call you in the morning.”

I found myself waiting, wondering, bracing myself for what came next. He squeezed my hand and walked away.

“Thom,” I called out. He turned my way. “Thank you.”

He smiled, and turned back to leave.

I sat on the sofa after he was gone and tried to think. It had been a pleasant few days, but in my heart, I couldn’t help wondering. New Year’s Eve is in two days and I know Thom is going to ask, really he already had; that’s why he’s here. I wondered what he was looking for from us, and I wondered if the past would keep me from enjoying what could be a future. I remembered how much I loved him, and then…I remembered how badly he’d hurt me.

In my mind I saw a rope with a happy Lulu at one end, and a sad Lulu at the other, both pulling with all their might, neither budging an inch.

My phone rang and I looked. I didn’t need to; I knew it was Thom as soon as it rang.

“Hey,” he said before I did.

“Hello.” As I said the word, a smile passed my lips. I felt it. It was a real, genuine smile. It wasn’t a smile to be pleasant, it was a smile from my heart, and I felt the happy Lulu pull the rope a little closer to her side of the line.

“Thanks for spending the day with me,” he told me.

“Thanks for sharing your day with me. I enjoyed it. Come for breakfast in the morning.”

My heart spoke before my tongue could stop it. I did want him to come. I did want to see him and be with him. But I said a prayer in those quick seconds that the Lord not only gave me strength, but that he would guide me to know what next.

“Are you sure, Lulu? I don’t want to overstay my visit. I don’t want to crowd you or…”

“Thom, come for breakfast. Good night.” I hung up before I changed my mind.

The next morning, I had pancakes and sausage waiting when he arrived. When the door opened, I knew. I knew that I had to follow my heart and pray for the best. I knew that at least this part of my future included Thom Miller.

He walked toward me like he knew. He wrapped his arms around me and held me, and I felt love. I eased myself closer and lifted my lips to his for a kiss. It was a sweet, love-filled kiss, not a passionate kiss. I stepped away and he pulled me back for one more, burying his face in the nape of my neck whispering, “Thank you, Lulu,” in my ear.

After breakfast we worked in the garage together on my next project. I’d found an old, white, single cabinet at a yard sale and had already rough sanded it so that it looked even older. I wanted to chalk paint it and add legs and small drawers inside for a spice cabinet. We worked all afternoon, and ordered a pizza later.

After we ate, we went to the living room. Thom turned on some music and we sat together enjoying a glass of wine.

Finally, he turned to me. “I should go. It’s getting late. Thank you for another great day.”

I inhaled what I hoped would be a dose of courage and looked in his eyes. “I don’t want there to be any expectations. I honestly have no idea what will happen, but I don’t want you to believe that you do either.”

He looked at me anxiously.

“I’d like for you to stay.”

He didn’t say a word. He rose from the sofa, reached for my hand, and led me up the stairs. He threw back the bed covers, kicked off his shoes and lay on the bed–fully dressed. I did the same. There was no skin touching skin this time. He held his arms for me to scoot into and wrapped me in his embrace. There was no kissing. There was nothing more than Thom Miller holding me in his arms.

Finally, he kissed the back of my neck. “Thank you, Lulu.”

I didn’t say a word, I couldn’t. I was holding back a flood of tears that I didn’t want to unleash.

Breathe, Lulu. Breathe.

When I woke in the morning, he wasn’t there. I panicked. But then I smelled coffee. I walked down stairs and he was sitting at the kitchen table when I rounded the corner.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning to you. Have you been up long,” I asked.

“Long enough to have a cup of coffee and think. I always like this time of morning; my brain is fresh.” He rose and poured me a cup. I sat down to wait.

He placed the cup in front of me and I looked up. “I remember,” he said.

I took a sip and he refreshed his and sat quietly at the table.

“What were you thinking about?” I asked.

“Actually, I was thinking about how to not think beyond each moment.” He looked up and my heart melted.

“I suppose that’s hard; I couldn’t do it.”

“What are you thinking about, Lulu?” he asked.

“I can’t go much past a day right now. One day at a time, I guess.”

“Am I part of this day?” He asked and made that ‘chk’ sound and winked.

“I suppose. You’re already here,” I laughed.

“It’s New Year’s Eve,” he said.

“Before you ask, I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“Can we go to the grocery store and pick up some things to have a celebration here?” he asked, with a chuckle.

“Are you going to stay here?” I asked.

He just looked at me. It made me nervous. It made me anxious.

“Do you want me to, Lulu?” he asked. I felt his nervousness and anxiousness too.

“I do.”

We ran out with a grocery list, but Thom went to the hotel first.

“I need clothes. I’ll be right back,” he said, as he put the car in park.

“No expectations. Just check out. You can stay at the house,” I said.

“No expectations,” he repeated.

He was gone about fifteen minutes and in that time, my mind ran a marathon. It went through every memory–good and bad. I went through every possibility and worry. And finally it rested when I saw him coming with his bag. It rested. It settled into the idea that Thom was coming home to me.

After a stop at the grocery store for snacks, and stop at the liquor store for wine, champagne, and bourbon, we headed to the house. I went to the kitchen to unpack the groceries and Thom disappeared with his bag.

Finally, we settled in to watch the movie When Harry Met Sally. Neither of us was interested in the music programs. We timed the movie to be able to watch the ball drop. I put snacks on the coffee table and sat on the sofa while Thom fixed drinks. When he returned he sat down beside me.

“May I?” he asked.

“May you what?” I laughed.

He scooted closer and put his arm around my shoulder, tugging me closer. “May I this?”

I didn’t reply with words, I just scooted closer.

At the end of the movie, he switched the TV to one of the stations airing the live festivities. We watched as Ryan Seacrest and Miranda Lambert helped count down as the ball made it’s way to the bottom.