This was the gift she and Mr. Watkins had decided was appropriate for the firm to give the two captains and owners of these two vessels. Prior to this, Mr. Watkins framed the original architectural rendition of the vessel and presented that alone to the owner, usually for placement on an office wall. These two captains would receive those as well, but Mary-Michael wanted to give them something special. Partly because of the connection Ian's father had with Mr. Watkins, but also because Lucky meant a great deal to her—not just as her lover. After he left last summer, she realized that she'd missed him. She missed his confident swagger and his ready smile. She missed the sunshine and cedar scent of him and the way his bare skin felt against hers. She'd missed his strength and wit, his caring and sense of honor.
While she had prayed daily for his safe return for the past ten months, she was now praying he'd move on with his life when he left this time. Lucky deserved happiness in his life, and she didn't think he'd find it here with her. She was married—not just to Spenser Watkins, but also to Watkins Shipbuilding. There was no scenario she could envision where she could leave her little village on Curtis Bay. This was her whole world.
And, if Lucky ever learned what she was doing, trying to conceive a child without his knowledge, he would think her the most deceitful of women, and the lowest of all humans. Mary-Michael didn't think she could take it if Lucky hated her. Now she prayed for something that she knew would make him hate her. She prayed he left her with a child in her womb. His child.
She fought the tears as she rubbed the carved surface of the box lovingly before handing it over to Captain Ian Ross-Mackeever, the second Earl Mackeever, and owner of the
Lady S.
As she presented the box to Ian, Mary-Michael said in a loud, clear voice, "Captain, I present you with your merchant sailing vessel, the
Lady S.
She is fully rigged, provisioned and ready for service. May God grant you fair weather and good sailing... all of your days together." She couldn't finish without choking on her tears. Mr. Watkins handed her his handkerchief and she hid her face behind Lucky's broad back and dabbed at her eyes. She had to hold herself together as she still had one more presentation to do after tomorrow's trial on the
Lady M
.
"This long day outdoors is finally catching up with me," she said.
As their party broke up, and the crewmen returned to their tasks and positions, Mr. Watkins leaned heavily on his cane as Victor drove up with the buggy, drawing to a smooth stop before them. Lucky helped Mr. Watkins into the vehicle and before it drove away, Mary-Michael leaned inside and said, "There is work I have to do in the office this evening, sir. Please get your rest as I will require your help tomorrow. Victor, please tell Sally not to hold dinner for me, I'll grab something when I get in."
"Remember tomorrow is a workday, Mrs. Watkins, and you too must get your rest." Her husband wagged an admonishing finger at her.
"Yes, sir."
"The captains leave this weekend. Is that correct?"
"Yes, sir," she replied as she watched Lucky and Ian speaking with several of their men near the gangway to the ship.
"Well, you've not got much time remaining, do you?" he mused. "And I need my rest if I'm to make another day-long sail tomorrow." He took his hat off and slapped his thigh with it, saying, "Take me home, Victor. I'm ready for a hot meal and my bed."
She and Lucky shared a quick glance before she turned and walked alone to her office. He'd come to her later, she knew this. Hopefully not until after her office staff left for the day. She busied herself working on the list of work to be done on their two older ships, trying again not to cry as she thought about what little time remained for her and Lucky. It wasn't until after she'd bid good evening to her office staff that she let them fall. But only for a few minutes. She didn't want him to notice her red-rimmed eyes and blotchy face and ask her about her tears. She didn't want him to think she was weak in any way. Because she wasn't. If anything she was strong and determined. Yes. Strong enough to do whatever was necessary to get the thing she desired most.
After the sun set completely, Lucky came bearing a basket of leftover cuts of meat and cheese, and a bottle of his favorite Spanish wine rolled in a blanket from his bed. They shared their simple dinner as they sat on the floor of her office, with the windows open to catch the light breeze.
Assured that no one could see them, she made love to him on the blanket spread on her office floor. She took everything he gave her and gave him the parts of her heart and soul she'd never given to another because she'd never had an attraction to any man before Lucky. Of course, that made her feel infinitely worse for lying to him. But, no matter how guilty she felt for breaking her marriage vow and for lying to Lucky, Mary-Michael knew she had to make good use of the little time they had left to better her odds of getting with child.
When they were sated, and while they both basked in the languor that came after loving, Mary-Michael again sent up a prayer that his seed took.
"Tomorrow is my lady's turn." Lucky's voice was soft, but she recognized the barely-contained pride and excitement in his tone.
"It is," she replied. "I expect all will be the same as today, except for the captain at her wheel." Her heart ached knowing she wouldn't get to spend the time with him tomorrow as she did today. But she had to content herself knowing he would enjoy his time at the
Lady M's
wheel, and try not to cry when she wished his hands were on her instead.
She sat up and covered herself with her shirt, suddenly shy—even after the bold exploration and pleasure they just had in each other arms. In the awkward silence, she didn't know what to say. Business was always a safe topic of discussion, she learned, because it kept her from saying out loud what her innermost feelings were. It didn't matter that her heart was breaking. What mattered was making sure she never let Lucky know how much her heart hurt.
"The weather should hold out, though I think there is rain coming in the next few days."
"Will that delay loading your cargo?" A part of her wished it would, for he would have a reason to stay a day longer. Something she couldn't bring herself to ask of him.
He shook his head. "I could stay longer, if that is your wish.
Mary-Michael froze. Here he was telling her he'd stay longer. For
her
. If
she
wanted him to. How would that look to Ian, and the rest of his crew? He had cargo to transport and money to make and he was asking her if she wanted him to stay a few days beyond their schedule. And no matter that it was what her heart wanted, it was a gift she couldn't accept. If she asked him to stay, it might give him false hope that she'd welcome a future with him. Of course she would, if she weren't tied to Curtis Bay and this shipyard.
"No. You and Ian should sail together for a while at least—for safety's sake. You only have the twelve guns."
"You have given us something infinitely superior to any number of guns, Mary," he said.
She gave him a knowing smile, pleased that he recognized what she'd done. Mary-Michael had given Empire Tea Importers the best ships she could design and that her yard could build. Her men had gone above and beyond for these two boats, implementing changes in her design previously thought to be unfeasible. And the only way she was able to do this was by having the support of her husband to give these two young captains what they needed
and
what they wanted.
"You have given us speed. I have never before sailed so fast on open water. I imagine it will be even more exciting on the ocean."
She felt a blush creeping up her neck to burn her cheeks. "I am very proud of how they have turned out. Your two clippers are by far the sleekest in design, and most elegant in finished trim for a working merchant vessel I have ever designed."
"What can I say?" He lifted her hand and kissed her palm. "My partner and I love speed and beauty."
Another stretch of silence fell over them as they sat there on the blanket-covered floor, unmoving. For many long minutes, he held her gaze as he held her hand. He traced a circle with his thumb on the palm and it sent a painful shock to her heart. She deserved every bit of this for what she'd done. But she wouldn't cry yet. Not until later.
The sound of two cats fighting outside the window broke their solitude. She broke eye contact first.
"I should be going home now." Mary-Michael rose and began to put her clothing back on, out of sight of the windows. She wanted to get back to the privacy of her bedroom as quickly as possible so she could give in to the tears.
"After tomorrow, when do you load your cargo?"
"Friday morning, and they will load both vessels."
She buttoned her breeks after tucking in her blouse. "When do you sail for England?"
What day will my heart begin to miss you?
"Saturday, on the morning tide." Lucky drew near and lifted her chin with a finger so she couldn't avoid his gaze. "I could stay longer if you would ask. And I would wait for you to be free, if you wished me to, Mary."
She shook her head, knowing this was for the best, even though she wished for a different future for them. He lived in another country and her life was here. And if he ever learned how she was manipulating him, and this affair, so she could bear a child she never intended to share with him, he would despise her. But she wanted a baby desperately. So desperate she was willing to risk his contempt for this. Even if it meant she never saw him again. "We have right now, and we might have some time in a few months, when you return for the older ships. But... a future for us just wouldn't..."
"I understand." His voice cracked and she thought she saw a lump in his throat he didn't have before as he swallowed. "I told you, I'll take whatever you give me."
T
he very next morning everyone, including her brother George this time, again met at the dock of Watkins Shipbuilding. Today the man Mary-Michael had grown to love would sail his new
Lady M
out into the Chesapeake, just as his partner had the day before.
And after another day in the sun and wind, all went just as she'd predicted. Lucky was as proud on this day as Ian was the previous day. When they returned to the dock, Mr. Watkins again asked her to hand over the compass calibration tools in the traditional ceremony. And, as it had yesterday, it brought tears to her eyes.
She understood why her husband wanted her to do this—she would soon be the only Watkins in Watkins Shipbuilding. Mary-Michael had managed these two builds on her own, as she would have to when he was no longer here. That was a day she dreaded, and she hated that it was coming sooner than she was prepared.
After everyone dispersed and went back to their tasks, Lucky escorted them to the carriage where Victor waited for them. "Sir," Lucky began, "I would be honored if you and Mrs. Watkins would dine with me this evening on the
Lady M.
"
Once he was situated in his seat, he gave Lucky his regrets. "The last two days have been very taxing on my old bones, lad," Spenser said. "I would respectfully decline your invitation in lieu of rest, though I believe Mrs. Watkins would gladly attend. Wouldn't you, Mrs. Watkins?"
Mary-Michael was caught with her thoughts elsewhere as she climbed in after Mr. Watkins. She met her husband's gaze, then looked at Lucky. "If that is what you wish, sir, I will certainly do so."
"Why, of course it's what I wish," he said. "It's a business dinner, and you will be representing our company." Then he turned back to Lucky and asked, "What time shall I have Victor bring Mrs. Watkins, Captain?"
She was amazed that her husband was aiding her in the affair in front of Lucky. While Mr. Watkins was a romantic at heart, and their relationship wasn't the normal one, Mary-Michael didn't think it was appropriate that he encourage their trysts out in the open as he was.
Lucky cast cautionary glances from her to Mr. Watkins. "Ah, seven-thirty?" he asked as he rested his eyes again on her. There was some confusion in his coffee-colored eyes, and she wanted to tell him she had as many unanswered questions as he did.
Mr. Watkins nodded. "I shall have her brought around at half-seven, then," Mr. Watkins said, ignoring Mary-Michael entirely. "And since tomorrow is a work day, I'll have Victor return for you at half-eleven. Four hours gives you plenty of time for dinner and dessert."
Her husband pounded his cane on the floor of the carriage. "Well, that's settled. Victor, wake that nag and make her earn her keep tonight. Mrs. Watkins, you should make yourself presentable to have dinner with the captain on his new ship. It's an honor to be asked to dine at the captain's table, you know."
"Yes, sir, it is. You've shared that with me before." Turning to look back at Lucky she shrugged her shoulders and rolled her eyes heavenward.
T
wo hours later at precisely seven-thirty, the Watkins' carriage turned into the shipyard through the gated entrance. Lucky waited for Mary in front of his
Lady M,
wondering yet again if he was overdressed for just a dinner aboard his new ship. He wanted the evening to be memorable and special. It wasn't every day he sailed his brand new ship, and it wasn't every day that he would tell the woman who had become special to him that he loved her. He hadn't planned on doing this tonight, but since Spenser wasn't coming he decided he didn't want to keep it inside any longer.
So while he wanted to dress for the momentous occasion, the weather just didn't warrant it. He didn't think he could endure a coat and cravat because of the warm evening. And, while his trousers and starched white shirt were last year's fashion, he didn't think Mary would mind his less-than-formal attire.
Another thing he'd been considering telling Mary was about the title he held. While he'd never expressly told Mary he was a noble, he never said he wasn't. She knew about Ian's inherited title, and didn't react the way other women did with the usual awe which made him uncomfortable. Lucky had concluded—maybe incorrectly—that things such as titles were unimportant to her, which was why he never mentioned it. Perhaps it had been a mistake on his part, but something in him told him she either wouldn't believe of him for telling her now, or it would be unimportant. Either way, it was time to tell her everything because he didn't want to start the kind of relationship he wanted with her with something this important kept secret. Because Lucky knew now that it was her heart he wanted—even though she was married to another. Something about
their
union was special.