Read Lucky: The Irish MC Online
Authors: Heather West
I slammed my fist against the wall. Fucking women.
Chapter Fourteen
Lacey
When Chase left my room, I let out the breath that I’d been holding for what felt like years. I couldn’t believe that I’d just let him take my virginity like that. It was like something alien and strange had come over me. Never, ever in my twenty-one years had I ever been so aroused. I’d never had such a powerful orgasm as the one that Chase had forced from me. But I didn’t know that sex could be so painful, either. Between my legs felt red and throbbing. When I shifted on the bed, a sharp pain shot through my lower belly.
Hobbling to the bathroom, I sat down to pee and gasped when it stung. Jackie had always warned me about that. She had told me that if I didn’t pee after sex, I’d get a urinary tract infection, but she told me that it would be painful the first couple of times. When I wiped, there was a smear of blood on the toilet paper.
I wondered if Chase had found the coffee yet.
After I peed, I couldn’t handle the idea of being around him so I went back into my room and got back into bed. I almost never wallowed, but this was an unusual situation all around. I felt like I was falling in love with him. There were times when I felt as though he’d developed some affection for me, but scarily, I knew that he was able to turn it all off with the flick of a switch.
Steeling myself, I got out of bed and walked with rubbery legs into the kitchen. Wrinkling my nose at the smell of coffee, I saw Chase perched on the couch. He was watching something quietly on my laptop and I had to cough to get him to turn around.
“Hi,” I said shyly. “Can we talk?”
Chase grunted something unintelligible at me. I sat down on the other end of the couch; there was barely enough room, and Chase didn’t move over.
“What?” He finally turned around and focused his green eyes on me. I shivered under the intensity of his gaze. It was hard to believe that twenty minutes ago we’d been locked together in a passionate embrace. I blushed thinking about it now; the way he’d touched me, the way he’d made me feel…even though I was sore, I felt myself getting aroused at the slightest memory.
“Can we talk about us?”
“Us?”
I sighed. He obviously wasn’t going to make this easy on me. “You and me,” I said slowly. “Are we going to do that again?”
Chase sighed and buried his face in his hands. I felt the slight stirring of anger in my lower belly. “I dunno, Lacey,” he said in a muffled voice. “What do you want?”
I frowned. “I don’t know what I want right now,” I said carefully. “I’m not sure. I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I want to be with someone who loves me and respects me.”
Chase shook his head. “I fucked you, Lacey. You’re not my girlfriend, okay? I don’t date. I don’t have girlfriends.”
“It didn’t mean anything to you?” I was horrified at the shrill sound of my voice. “How can you say that after we just did what we did?”
“It’s called adult life, Lacey,” Chase said. “Don’t act like you’ve never heard of two grown people fucking.”
I blushed. Jackie would laugh in my face if she could see me now. Then again, Chase didn’t know that my best friend was a sex worker. “I know that,” I said slowly. “But I’m not like that. I want a future with someone. I want to have a happy life, and maybe get married and have kids.”
Chase’s jaw dropped.
“Not with you,” I said quickly. “At least not right now. I’m just talking about what I want from life. It doesn’t have to be this very second; this is just what I want in the future.”
Chase raked a hand through his short crop of dark hair. “I don’t talk about the future, Lacey. That’s not how I operate.”
I glared at him. “Well, I do. I want a lot of things, Chase. I want a happy relationship. I want to finish my degree in psychology, and maybe go to graduate school. I want to work with kids, and I’m not sure if I want to keep singing. I want to buy a house and move out of Detroit and raise my kids in a safer place. I want to be a good parent, and to share a good marriage with someone I love. And I want my husband to always love me and desire me above everyone else.” When I was finished, I looked at Chase expectantly. He glared at me.
“I don’t see what any of this has to do with me,” he said finally. “I’m just the guy who popped your cherry. I don’t have to fuckin’ marry you, or have kids with you, or watch you graduate and go onto to grad school. I was in prison, Lacey. You think that jives with what you want? Don’t be so naïve.”
I felt tears coming to my eyes and I pre-emptively wiped them with the back of my hand. Chase looked away, out the window, and suddenly I felt like the biggest fool in the world for telling him what I wanted. He was right; he didn’t owe me anything. In the real world, people had sex all the time, and with people they knew far less than I knew Chase.
At least I know his last name
, I thought to myself.
Some people probably can’t even say that
.
I realized Chase wasn’t going to say anything else. He’d already turned his attention back to the laptop, as if to signal that the discussion was over. With a heavy heart, I turned and walked back to my room. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me cry.
***
Chase
“Wait,” I said as Lacey was turning around to go back down the hallway. “I’m not through talking to you yet.”
“Really?” she spat sarcastically, looking angry. “You sounded pretty fucking done to me!”
I recoiled. It was one of the only times I’d heard Lacey curse. I sighed heavily and looked at her. Her grey eyes were narrowed and her forehead was creased in anger. “Listen, I don’t talk about the future. Or the past, okay? That’s part of who I am. That’s my deal, Lacey,” I said, with growing intensity. “I was in prison, for fuck’s sake. I’m an ex-con! You don’t want me as your boyfriend, you want some guy who has a degree and doesn’t know what a shank is!”
Lacey shook her head. She swallowed and opened her mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out.
I continued, “If we were together, don’t you know that you would be at risk? There are people out there who want me
dead
, Lacey, and they’d fucking torture you in front of me just to see me in pain. Do you want to take that kind of risk? You don’t even know what you’d be in for if you stayed involved with me!”
“How can I
not
be involved with you?” Lacey shot back. “You practically kidnapped me and appointed yourself as my guardian! I couldn’t kick you out if I wanted to! You don’t even let me go outside!”
“Because it’s dangerous,” I said through gritted teeth. I couldn’t believe how stubborn and stupid she was being! “For someone who’s going to college, you’re acting pretty fucking stupid,” I told her, rolling my eyes. “I don’t know what I have to do to make you realize how bad this shit is!”
“You could start by telling me what happened!” Lacey’s grey eyes blazed with angry fire. “I don’t even know the first thing about you! I don’t even know how long you were in prison for! I don’t know anything about your family! I don’t know anything about your friends!”
“Because it’s dangerous,” I repeated, glaring at her. For once she didn’t back down or seem intimidated. I couldn’t help but admit that she was impressing me with the way she was acting, even if she was being a complete moron about the facts of life. “You’re just this naïve little girl who has no idea about the real world! That asshole at the club could have skinned you alive and you wouldn’t have even known it was coming!”
“That’s not fair!” she shot back. “I know how to handle myself sometimes! You don’t even give me a chance, Chase. You just have to swoop in and be the big macho man who’s going to rescue me from the evil big baddies!” Lacey gestured angrily with her hands and wore a mocking expression on her face. It was seemingly impossible to believe that we’d been fucking like animals not half an hour ago.
I sighed and covered my face with my hands. “You don’t get it,” I said flatly. “I don’t talk about the future. I don’t talk about the past. You’re not hearing about this. It could make things even
more
dangerous if I tell you, because I guarantee you won’t listen to me then, either.”
Lacey folded her arms over her chest. “Try me,” she said, glaring at me.
I shook my head. “No go, princess,” I snapped. “You can’t push me around like this. You’re not the one in charge here!”
Lacey glared at me, then turned on her heel and stalked down the hallway. I was amazed that her little body could generate so much sound; she was stomping so hard that the glasses in the cabinets were shaking. I listened as she slammed her bedroom door and threw herself on the bed.
With Lacey out of the way, I sat back down on the couch and closed my eyes. What a fucking exhausting morning. First the little bitch had the nerve to leave the house unsupervised, and now she was trying to make me tell her about the past? Fuck. There was no way in hell she was ever going to learn about my history. I wasn’t going to tell her about Rose, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell her about the heroin. As far as I knew, Lacey thought that I’d done time for possession. I hadn’t exactly told her the truth. I did ten years for dealing heroin, lots of heroin. It was a fucking stupid mistake, but that’s what happened when you were broke and hooked on dope. Lacey wouldn’t understand. Compared to my life, hers had been a breeze. I didn’t care if she lived alone in one of the most dangerous cities in the country; she didn’t understand where I’d been, and the shit that I’d gone through. Thinking about what a cupcake she really was only hammered the decision home; there was
no way
she could ever know. I knew that hearing about Rose’s murder would give her nightmares for weeks alone.
Rose
. Thinking about my sister made me realize that I needed to buckle down and work a lot harder if I wanted to catch this guy. As far as I’d come, I knew that I was a long ways off. I couldn’t shake the feeling that someone in the gang knew that I was looking for them. It wasn’t that anything had happened, it was just a general sense of unease that lurked in my stomach whenever The Machetes came up in conversation. It was like a cat and mouse game, except I had no idea whether I was the cat or the mouse.
From the bedroom, there was a small cough and I closed my eyes and thought about Lacey again. Her creamy pale skin, her enthusiastic mouth. It was almost enough to make me forget what I had to do.
But not quite.
Chapter Fifteen
Chase
“Man, you gotta fuckin’ come down here as soon as you can!” Peyton’s voice was raspy on the other end of the line. “I got some info that you’re gonna love, man,” he said. “Just get your ass downtown!”
I shook my head. “I don’t know, man, Lacey’s asleep.”
There was a silence followed by a throaty guffaw. “Lacey’s asleep?” Peyton hooted. “Do you realize how much of a motherfuckin’ pussy you sound like right now?”
I clenched my jaw. “Fine,” I snapped. “I’ll be down in twenty minutes or so.”
“Be careful not to wake Princess Lacey!” Peyton cackled. I rolled my eyes and hung up my cell, stuffing it in my pocket. Taking a deep breath, I stretched and climbed off of Lacey’s tiny couch. I could hear her light snores coming in from the open bedroom door, and I couldn’t resist walking down the hall and peeking at her as she slept. In sleep, Lacey looked relaxed and happy. Her long dark hair fanned over the pillow and I could see the hint of her curves under the blanket. My cock twitched in my pants and I reached down to rub away the beginnings of an erection.
Fuck, man, get a hold of yourself!
I thought angrily.
No time to fuck around with Lacey, no matter how hot she looks right now
.
My body didn’t cooperate with my mind’s request and I forced myself to turn around and walk back down the hallway. Scribbling a note to Lacey that told her I’d be back soon, I walked outside into the brisk winter air. With my luck, I’d get down there and Peyton would laugh in my face. It wouldn’t be the first time that had happened. But despite everything, I did trust him. Most of the time, he seemed like a decent guy who was more than willing to put in grunt time to earn my respect.
“Chase!” I shielded my eyes from the sun and looked up to see Lacey running after me. She crashed into me and wrapped her arms around me, clinging on tight.
“What?” I demanded, standing there like a tree. Lacey slowly pulled away from me.
“Sorry,” she said with an adorable flush across her cheeks. “I didn’t know you were that close. Where are you going?”
I rolled my eyes. “None of your business, princess,” I told her, gently pushing her to the side and walking towards my truck.
Lacey pouted. “Can I come with you? I haven’t been out of the apartment all weekend.”
I shook my head. “Too dangerous,” I replied. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“You just expect me to stay inside all day?” Lacey’s words echoed off the frozen ground in a high shriek. “I’m not doing that!”
“You’re doing what I say you’re doing,” I growled at her. She shrunk back as though she’d been burned. Momentarily, I felt a pang of guilt for snapping at her.
“Sorry,” she muttered. I watched as Lacey tucked a long stand of dark, shiny hair behind her ear. “It’s just frustrating. You still haven’t told me what’s going on.”
Panic rose in me. “And I’m not going to,” I said defiantly.
Lacey turned on her heel and stalked away back into the building. I knew it was a sore spot, but no matter how much she thought she could wear down my resolve, I wouldn’t give in. The last thing that Lacey needed to hear about was my sister, Rose, getting ripped apart by some sadistic nut. I didn’t want to frighten her; she already had enough to be scared of in this life.
The drive downtown was uneventful. My car was freezing cold the whole time and my feet felt like blocks of ice in my heavy work boots. Peyton wasn’t in his usual bar and I had to hunt around for a few blocks before I found him alone in a strip joint. I bellied up to the bar and sat down next to him. This cheap blonde was dancing around on stage, prancing and showing her giant tits to Peyton. He gazed up appreciatively, but turned to me as soon as I greeted him.
“You couldn’t go someplace a little more private?” I gestured around. “These places are crawling with undercover cops.”
Peyton shook his head. “I wanted some fuckin’ pussy, man.” He scowled. “I haven’t gotten any in weeks.”
I cleared my throat. No matter how hard I tried to keep her out of my mind, there was Lacey again. She pranced around topless in my head, just like the cheap dancer on stage. Unlike the dancer, Lacey had a natural grace and magnetism, not to mention the hottest little body…
Peyton coughed. “You listenin’, man? I asked if you had the dough for me yet.”
I handed him a leather envelope with some cash in it. “That’s for you,” I said darkly. “I took my cut already.”
“So listen,” Peyton began. He leaned closer to me so he was almost whispering. Although I wasn’t thrilled about doing business in a strip joint, at least the music was so loud that no one would overhear us. “Listen, I think I found your contact.”
“Yeah?” I raised my eyebrows. “That was fast.”
Peyton grinned. “There’s been a string of similar killings,” he began, watching my face to gauge my reaction. I felt my heart seize up as the image of Rose’s lifeless and mutilated body flashed into my mind. “And they’re close, Chase. They’re all in Detroit, some of them only a few miles away.”
My head was spinning with the new information. “Do you think he knows I’m looking? Whoever it is?”
Peyton shrugged. “I guess, man,” he said in a low voice. “But ain’t you worried? Ain’t you scared he’s gonna find you and that girl you’re hiding out with?”
I shook my head. “Not before I find him,” I growled. “He’s got something bad coming to him, he has no idea what I’m going to do.”
Peyton gave me a serious look. “He’s tough, that’s all I’m saying, man,” he said. A new dancer, a petite redhead, walked onto the stage and Peyton let out a wolf whistle.
“I know he’s fuckin’ tough,” I snarled under my breath. Peyton glanced at me, looking bored. “He’s gonna pay for what he did,” I repeated.
“Whatever you say, man,” Peyton said breezily. I wanted to punch him. When he sensed my anger, he broke out into a wide grin. “Don’t be so intense, man, lighten up!”
I slid off the bar stool and slapped a twenty on the counter. Without saying anything, I stalked out of the club, pulling my jacket around my ears. I hadn’t even been gone for an hour but I was already worried about Lacey.
This shit had to stop. If I didn’t stop soon it was going to kill me worrying about her. What was going to happen to me; was I never going to be able to let her go? This was something completely new, and I didn’t like it.
I already fucked her
, I thought to myself.
Why can’t I get her out of my fuckin’ head?
The whole ride home, my head was scattered with thoughts of Lacey. I couldn’t get her off my mind. Her sweet little face, her gorgeous, tight body. God, the way she’d wrapped her mouth around my dick and sucked like there was no tomorrow. She killed me with a single glance, and I felt as powerless as a puppy when she was around. I knew that when I got home, she’d be steamed I’d been so cold to her. Maybe she’d ignore me for a few hours and I could finally have some peace.
“Lacey?” I called out when I entered the apartment. There was no answer, and her bedroom door was shut. As always, the fresh, sweet smell of her wafted into my nostrils. She smelled like strawberries and vanilla, and everything in the apartment smelled like her. Even after days of sleeping on the couch, it was still all Lacey.
With a sigh, I yanked open the cupboard. It slammed against the wall and I cringed, but didn’t stop what I was doing. All of the packets of gourmet coffee that Lacey had bought for me were still there. One by one, I tossed them into the trash. When I was done, the only thing that was left was a package of Maxwell House plain black. I measured out a scoopful and dumped it in the new coffee maker. I would have liked to trash that, too, but I really needed some caffeine.
The bedroom door opened and Lacey’s quiet footsteps padded out into the kitchen. “Chase, what are you doing?” She looked in the trash and frowned. “Why did you throw that stuff away? I thought you liked it.”
I glared at her. “Fuck off, Lacey,” I spat. She gasped and her mouth formed a small ring of surprise. I felt a momentary twinge for hurting her—for the second time that morning—but it went away as soon as I remembered the hold she’d had on me. If I needed to stop thinking about her, I needed to stop engaging her, too.
“Chase,” Lacey sputtered, sounding confused. “Are you mad at me? Did I do something?”
“You need to keep your little nose where it fuckin’ belongs,” I growled. Lacey shrank back in the hallway. “Stay out of my business,” I hissed. “I’m not ever going to tell you what it’s about.”
Lacey’s eyes filled with tears and she stepped backwards before turning around and running into her room. The door slammed and I winced. I didn’t like to hurt her; I didn’t like to be nasty for no reason. But she had to learn that I was trouble, and if she kept mooning over me all the time, well, that just wasn’t going to happen.
When my coffee brewed, I took it over to the couch and sat down. It seemed pretty unbelievable that I’d only been working for a few weeks. Lacey still had no idea; she didn’t know anything about me. Hell, she didn’t even know I did time for
heroin
. I had no idea what she actually thought, but I could guarantee it wasn’t as bad as the truth.
She was a nice girl. She deserved a nice life, just like Rose did. And if something happened to Lacey the same way it happened to Rose, I’d never forgive myself. Then I would have failed two women, instead of just the one. And there was no way that was ever going to happen.
Chapter Sixteen
Lacey
I threw myself down on the bed, muffling my sobs with the comforter. Chase was being such a fucking jerk! I couldn’t believe the way he was treating me. Sure, he’d sorta been like that when we first met. But he never went out of his way to make me feel so bad about myself. And even when he was being mean, I knew he couldn’t tear his eyes off of me. I had his attention on lock-down, so this was entirely a new feeling.
The tears kept coming, no matter how hard I tried to make them stop.
Was it me? Was I not good at sex?
I closed my eyes and racked my brain for an answer as to why he was suddenly freezing me out. I couldn’t believe it; it had literally been an overnight change. He’d gone from being admittedly grouchy but affectionate with me, to throwing my presents in the trash and stomping out on me. And cursing at me? That was something new, too. I felt chills run down my spine as I realized I was more afraid of him than ever. This new personality, this new Chase…I didn’t like it.
I bit my lip and reached for my cell phone, dialing my best friend, Jackie. We hadn’t talked in a few weeks, and although I’d been dying to tell her about Chase, I hadn’t had the chance. He hadn’t let me out of his sight—until today, at least.
“Hey, bitch,” she answered on the first ring. “I thought you were dead.”
I blushed. Jackie was always a little rough around the edges. We’d been friends for decades but I’d be lying if I said that I’d gotten used to her rough demeanor. I admired her for her toughness and her strength; she said teasingly that she admired me for my purity, but I knew it was really because I was the most loyal friend she’d ever had.
“Not quite,” I said quietly. I didn’t really care if Chase knew that I was on the phone, but I didn’t want him eavesdropping if I could help it.
“What happened? You were supposed to get in touch last week. I even went to that shithole of a club, The Pink Diamond, and you weren’t there. Did you get fired?”
I sighed. “I was sick,” I lied. “I felt really bad for a few days and didn’t go out.”
“And you didn’t call me?” As usual, Jackie’s whip smart intelligence wasn’t going to let me get away with lying. “Whenever you’ve been sick before, you’ve been blowing up my phone all day because you’re so bored.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Oh my god,” Jackie breathed. “You met a guy! You’ve been with a guy! You’ve been
fucking
!”