Loving Heart (The Broken Heart Series Book 3) (3 page)

     I was there from the beginning, when you were born, your first shots, your first bump and bruise, when you started to walk and your first words,” He held his breath, the tears rushing to the surface of his eyes. With one deep breath, he began to cry, placing his hand over his chest. “But she wasn’t sure if you were mine and I had no proof, but that didn’t mean I loved you any less. I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.” He bursted out into tears as he stood up never losing eye contact with me, and with every word that was released from his lips, my heart broke into tiny pieces,
bit by bit
. I stood up and took a step back. I gasped for air as he spoke about my mother. I could feel my chest tightening; my stomach began to wince. I wanted to speak, but I couldn’t get the air out of my lungs.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Not only was I the victim of abuse, but I was a victim of abuse from a man who
wasn’t even my father.
How could she do this to me? She was my world. I can’t breathe…I can’t breathe.

“Jenesis, please…say something.” he begged. I took a deep breath, holding on to the little dignity I had left and walked towards the door, opened it and turned to look at him.

“Why didn’t
you
do a paternity test?”

“She wouldn’t let me.”

“Why?”

“Because if you weren’t mine, she said she was going to kill herself.”

My heart stopped beating. I coughed trying not to choke on his words.

“My mother would have never done that.”

“How do you know? She only showed you love…not fear. She wanted to protect you, always.”

“How? By killing herself.” My response was harsh. The heat in my face rose in an instant. I was getting angry.

“You don’t get it, do you?” He pleaded.

“Oh, I get it alright. I do. You’re love affair cost her her life and ruined mine.”

“No, your Uncle Mike…did that. He told your father…He told Bobby. I know he did.”

“You were both wrong for not telling me.” I shook my head in disbelief. “I think I liked you better when you were nothing more than my pediatrician, not as a potential father. My whole life is ruined because you both lied to me. How fast can you get a paternity test?  Because we’re done here. I never want to see you again.” I closed the door behind me. I felt like I got shot in the stomach all over again. Every memory of my childhood stayed behind in that room with him.

     My life as I knew it as a child, good or bad, was erased by his devastating words.
‘We had an affair…you might be my daughter…I loved you.’
  My mother’s memory was instantly destroyed…her lies…her betrayal cut so deep, I thought I would have a heart attack and die. I stopped in front of the elevators, holding on to the wall to keep me from falling flat on my face. Joe ran up behind me.

“We can make this work. I’ll take the test…I need you to meet me tomorrow morning. Please…this is the only chance we have to make this right…I owe it to you and you owe it to me.” the elevator doors opened and before I stepped in, he blocked me with his arm. I looked up at him, the tears flowing with no end in sight and I said sternly,

“I.Owe.
You…
Nothing.” I pushed his arm out of the way and stared at him intensely as the doors closed in his face. He stood there, silent, with his mouth slightly ajar and then he whispered,

“No…”

                              Michael   Chapter 3

      I waited nervously in the lobby for her.
Goddammit! Why did she see Dr. Joe without me?
I walked towards the elevator only anticipating the worst. The elevator doors opened, Jenesis sprung out and ran into my arms, grabbing a hold of me tightly, sobbing into my chest. I grabbed the back of her head gently and placed it against my chest. I stood there silently, listening to her whimper as her body shook from the pain in her heart. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay. I’m here…I’m here.” I whispered into her hair.

     She managed to break away from my embrace. I didn’t realize I was holding on to her so tightly. I could see her discontentment. It was written all over her face. She was uncomfortable in my arms and that made me feel like shit.

“It’s true Michael, he could be my father. My whole entire life has been a lie.” She said softly as her head hung towards the floor.  I placed my fingers underneath her chin and lifted her face gently to mine. She took a step back and shrugged me off.

“The company car is outside…let’s go home.” I tried to grab her by the hand as we walked out of the hospital to the car. She didn’t let me. My driver drove us home and we entered the elevator up to the apartment.

“Jenesis, you’ve been through so much today. Why don’t you take a shower and relax.” I said softly. She glanced up at me, still feeling the shame of not knowing who her father was. She walked into the bathroom and sat on the toilet bowl and began to weep and weep. I watched from afar. I couldn’t bear to see her in so much pain. But, I’ve seen her in worse condition, on our bedroom floor, underneath my father’s filthy body while he was…
raping her
.

     I needed to comfort her but I was sure she didn’t want me near her. I cautiously entered the bathroom.

“Jenesis, you need to take a shower. Let me help you.” I grabbed her by the hands and lifted her up, removing her blouse as I raked my fingers along her waist, then to her back, unhooking her bra. I knew my gentle touch was having an effect on her. It made her nipples harden and she covered her breasts with her hands. I removed my hands and whispered,

“It’s okay…just take a shower.” She removed her panties, then I helped her step into the shower. I removed my own clothing and got in the shower with her.  I stared at her, looking at every salacious curve on her body, watching the water fall gently against her silky skin as she stood underneath the shower.  She gently leaned her head back to rinse her hair and the lump in my throat grew larger, making it almost impossible to choke back the tears. I placed the soap in my hands and rubbed them together under the water. I lathered her back gently caressing each shoulder.
She let me touch her, and that’s when I let the tears fall from my eyes. She couldn’t tell I was crying in the shower. It made it easier for me to let it all out.

    
The touch of her skin on my fingers brought back the memories of how much I really missed Jenesis and how much I wanted to make love to her. She stared at my erection as it doubled in size before her eyes.  She turned around and placed her hands against the cool tiles, then pushed her firm, round, plump ass against me. My erection grew harder and I could feel the heat from her body against mine. She turned around and I quickly pulled her in and kissed her tender lips, staring into her eyes asking for permission to ravish her…
and she let me
. I parted my lips placing my tongue gently into her mouth, trying to match the movement of hers. I kissed her passionately as she grabbed my ass pressing my enormous erection against her belly.
I wanted to suck the life out of her. I wanted to feel the passion again, the passion that was there before she knew who I was and what I had done. I felt the guilt creeping up on me, slowly, dangerously, in a way that made me feel dirty and unclean for craving her…wanting to almost punish her for not feeling the same way I did by fucking her into oblivion until she could no longer feel the pain that I’ve caused her. How could she still love me? After everything I had done…knowing how I helped poor helpless women get trapped in the web of lies that Dave weaved; knowing that Dave was going to kill them, without blinking, without a second thought; and then watching as Dave wrapped his hands around her tiny throat to choke the life out of my Jenesis,
had everything to do with…me
.

     I opened my eyes to see that hers were tightly shut, her breathing erratic while my excitement grew, throbbing against her naked flesh. I picked her up by the waist and she wrapped her legs around me. I stepped out of the shower without unlocking my lips from hers, our tongues playing tug of war in each other’s mouths, as I tried so desperately to consume her. I walked towards the bedroom and on our bed was the throw blanket that her mother gave her. I knew it would ruin the moment, so I quickly scooped it up and threw it on the night table. She still had her legs wrapped around me as I gently placed her on her back on the bed.

“Jenesis, I want to make love to you…please…
I
need this…
we
need this.” I whispered as I gazed into her eyes. The tears trickled down her cheeks into her ears and I just wanted to lick each and every tear away. She was what I needed, and I needed her like I needed air in my lungs.

“Make love to me Michael…slowly.”  She whispered as she tugged on my bottom lip gently with her teeth. I plunged my tongue into her mouth, devouring her…
slowly.
I slid my hand between her legs and released my torrid kiss from her lips, sliding my tongue down the center of her body while gently pushing my finger in and out of her wet entrance. She pushed gently against my finger until my tongue reached her throbbing clit. I lifted her legs as I knelt on the floor against the bed, then I kissed her gently in between her thighs, working my way to her aching flesh. I licked and sucked ever so gently on her clit until it was engorged and tender. Her body vibrated in pleasure and she let out a deep moan as I punished her with the flicks of my tongue, making her squirm, making her beg me to fuck her with every velvet stroke. She lifted her head slowly, watching me slide my tongue across my top lip waiting for her to give me permission to make love to her. She nodded gently. I slid my body up against hers and I could feel the tension in her body, she was afraid. I slipped my throbbing beast into her slowly at the entrance, stroking the tip of my head in a circular motion against her clit as she slid her hands down my back grabbing onto my ass. She pushed me into her. I could feel her swollen flesh pulsating against my shaft. I let out a moan… it felt so fucking good…
something I needed to feel…from her
. I pushed into her slowly, inch by inch, deeper while staring into her eyes. I thrust and circled my hips in a rhythm of merciless pleasure as she dug her nails into my back, digging and clawing at me until I felt my blood on her fingers. Her high pitched moans vibrated in my ears and I lost myself in her; the sound of her delicious moans driving me to my breaking point. I was pushing hard, and she was driving back against me making the moans that escaped my lips grow louder and louder…
I was reaching my peak.
I opened my eyes,

“I can’t hold it, Jenesis, you’re gonna make me come.” I said on a hitch as I pushed into her.

“Come for me, baby, come inside of me.” She whispered as she banged her hips against me…
fast.

“Baby, right there, give it to me…Jenesis! Fuck!” I shouted as I pushed into her wet, tight, flesh. She yelled out my name as I came inside of her. My hot seed filling her as she shattered around me, lifting her head off of the mattress, burrowing her nails into my shoulders. I held on to her, grabbing her ass tightly and pushing myself through her body. I was trembling, so was she, and I felt the love between us that only she and I could share.

                      Jenesis    Chapter 4

He took me there again, to heaven;
heaven on Earth
and
I was content…I was relieved, and I was…
afraid.

I rolled over on my stomach and he placed his hand around my waist.

“Jenesis, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much.” He tenderly stroked my cheek with his fingers.

“Michael, do you love me?” I asked.

“What? Of course I do.” 

“No, I mean…do you really love me? Unconditionally…no matter what I do or what I’ve done.” I grabbed his hand and held it tightly.

“What is it?” he sat up in the bed, naked, staring at me as if I had the word liar written across my forehead.

“Unconditionally Michael,
do
you?” I released his hand and stood up and walked over to the chair, grabbed my robe and wrapped it around me.

“Of course…what’s this all about?” he slid his sweatpants on and walked over to me.

“Everything has been a lie; my whole life, but not yours. You were in on everything Dave did. I was just another girl.” I swallowed the lump that was choking me, trying my best not to cry.

“No…no you weren’t. He wanted to keep us as a family. He wanted you for me. But his overwhelming urges and his sick mind to kill women got the best of him again. He even told me once that he wished he knew your mother so that he would have married her and had you as his daughter. Dave wasn’t a complete animal.” He lowered his head. The tears brimming at the corners of his eyes ready to be released. “This is all so confusing. I don’t understand how he snapped into the murderous phase again! He had feelings for you and he cared and loved you more than he loved me. He lied to me, Jenesis, about everything. He’s been lying to me all his life. I didn’t know about Margaret, Carl…Eddie or Vivian,
I swear to God. I didn’t know
.” His tears spilled over onto his cheeks; his beautiful blue-green eyes glistening from tears.