Loving a Lawman (8 page)

Damn, it was hard to hold her head up in this town. Sometimes she felt as if her neck would break under the strain.

She managed to retain her composure until she found him. And she even kept herself together as she said her good-byes to the Langstons, gave Wesley a big squeeze, and gathered up her things for the trip back to town.

Only when Seth pulled the truck out of the yard and started back toward town did she allow her guard to slip.

She laid her head against the seat back, the motion tipping her hat over her eyes.

“You okay?”

She could tell by his voice that he had turned to face her. “Yeah,” she said, though they both knew it was far from the truth.

She sighed and tried to push all the negativity out with
the air. They weren't at the party anymore. She didn't have to keep her guard up or a fake smile plastered across her face.

The thought had a real smile curving her lips at the corners.

“There it is.”

At his words, tears stung the back of her eyes. Why was it that Seth had always been there for her?

She pushed herself up straight. “Do you know why I did that to Sissy Callahan's 'Vette?”

“I have an idea.”

“It was the water tower.”

“Huh?”

“That day, Chase had painted ‘Sissy and Chase' on the water tower.” She shrugged as if it didn't still hurt. “I was jealous.”

It had been the beginning of the end for them. She could see that now. But at the time, all she could think about was that Chase had performed this grand gesture for Sissy Callahan when she, Jessie McAllen, was supposed to have been Chase's girl. So why couldn't he paint the water tower for her? Even then, she never should have taken it out on Sissy or that poor unsuspecting car, but it was easier than getting mad at Chase. Even when he had come in with yellow paint under his nails swearing that he had nothing to do with it, she'd believed him and instead went after Sissy.

“He just wanted to get into her cheerleading skirt.”

“I'm sure he succeeded too.” The thought made her stomach sink, even after all these years.

“You're probably right.”

She leaned her head against the seat back and closed her eyes, trying to keep the memories at bay and not succeeding.

“Give it a couple of days, Jess.”

She nodded but knew deep down it was going to take more than a couple of days for this storm to blow over.

*   *   *

S
eth chanced a quick look at Jessie. She looked dead on her feet. Carrying around all that pride had to be exhausting. But what choice did she have?

Cattle Creek was the greatest place on earth, but it wasn't always the easiest place to live.

Small towns were like that, like one big family. And everyone knew what a pain family could be.

He just wished that Jessie didn't have to suffer further at the hands of Chase. She had enough of her own problems to deal with before his brother piled even more on top.

Would she really leave Cattle Creek? If she could hand him thousands of dollars to fix Chase's truck, how much more did she have squirreled away?

Even more important, what would he do without her around?

D
amn it! Of all the luck.”

Jessie opened her eyes and sat up straight. “What's going on?” She blinked a couple of times, trying to wash the sleep from her eyes. Had she fallen asleep? She shook her head to clear away the wispy cobwebs of fatigue. These days it seemed that she was more tired than she had ever been. Seeing as how she wasn't working at Manny's any longer, she could only blame her exhaustion on the fact that she had been working like crazy trying to build up her escape fund and her body was in sore need of rest.

Big billowing clouds of white smoke poured out from under the hood as Seth eased the truck toward the side of the road.

“The truck overheated,” he said, putting it in park and killing the motor.

“Ya don't say.” Jessie tried to keep her face impassive, but her lips twitched just the same. She pushed her hair back and half turned to face him.

Seth pointed through the windshield without removing
his hand from the steering wheel. “I'm pretty sure, yeah,” he said with a nod. “Hopefully it won't take long for it to cool down, but—” He peered out the windshield at the cloudless Texas sky. Today's high was supposed to be near one hundred. “In this heat it might take a little longer.”

“How convenient.” Jessie sat back and crossed her arms.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing really.” She shrugged. “It's just that when a boy—”

He cleared his throat.

“—
man
runs out of gas—”

“I didn't run out of gas. The truck overheated.”

“—it's usually,” she continued as if he hadn't spoken, “just a way to be alone with the girl he has in the poor old broken-down truck.”

“It's a great truck.”

“In 1973 maybe.” She couldn't help teasing him.

“Those are fighting words,” he growled. “If you insult a man's truck, then you need to be aware of the consequences.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

“Like—” He leaned toward her, but then seemed to think better of it, or maybe he remembered who he was with. He shrugged, turning to face the front.

Jessie stared at him, perplexed by this sudden change. For once she felt as if she were seeing the real Seth, the man behind the badge. The man behind the mask. She hadn't been aware that he wore a mask until he let it slip, and now that it was firmly back in place, she was curious—no, more than curious—about who Seth became when it was gone.

“Did you do this with Millie?”

“Hmmm?” He turned back to face her, but his eyes were focused on a point just above her left ear.

“Millie. Did you ever tell Millie that you had run out of gas just so you could, uh . . .”

Seth nodded, then ducked his head looking almost chagrined. Almost.

“Men are skunks,” she said with a laugh.

“Not all of us.” He chuckled.

“Might as well be.” She sat back in her seat as smoke continued to roll out from under the hood.

But instead of thinking about the trickery of men, she remembered the time she had accidentally run across Seth kissing Millie in the game room at the ranch. She couldn't have been more than ten, but she could tell that it was a good kiss, like the kind in the R-rated movie she had snuck in to see. They had thought they were alone, and Jessie had been nearly paralyzed with something she couldn't name as she watched them. Now she knew it was merely curiosity, but that kiss had stayed with her all these years.

Did he kiss the same now? Did he cup his hands around the girl's face, treasure her as he had Millie? Would Millie be the next girl he kissed?

Why did she even care?

Suddenly she wanted to know what it felt like to be kissed that way, with that all-consuming need. Cherished, desired, loved.

She scooted across the seat toward Seth, not giving a second thought to anything but him. And that kiss.

He didn't speak as she tipped back his hat and pressed her lips to his.

*   *   *

H
e was on fire.

Or maybe he was dreaming.

How else could he explain the fact that he had Jessie next to him? Sweet Jessie with her lips hovering over his. Their breath mingling. She wet her lips with the tip of her tongue.

Seth groaned and pulled her to him again.

Never before. Only in his wildest fantasies had he imagined that Jessie would come to him like this. She smelled like sunscreen and strawberries and tasted like the last hot day of summer. She tasted so good and yet he was mad at
her for the way she made him feel, the way she made him forget all about the fact that she had been with Chase first. Mad about the fact that despite everything, he still wanted her.

Not so gently he ran his fingers into her hair, knocking her hat off her head. His mouth devoured hers, the kiss turning from sweet to fierce in mere seconds.

He wanted her. And yet he hated himself for wanting her. He should stop kissing her. He should let her go. But he couldn't. He had held himself in check for so long that once the dam had broken, there was no going back.

He would have her, if only this one time, and maybe then he could get her out of his system. His desire burned like hot coals doused with gasoline. He wanted her, and he wanted her now. The lines between truth and reality blurred as she responded to his plundering kiss.

How could she make him want her so badly? What type of sorcery did she employ that could make him forget everything else but the need to possess her?

She whimpered as he nipped her bottom lip. He wanted to punish her for making him want her despite all else. And yet he couldn't stop kissing her. Loving her was like a runaway freight train with no engineer.

He hated her. He wanted her. He had to have her.

But this was not how he wanted her. He wanted to bare every inch of her, kiss every smooth centimeter, taste every silky millimeter. Instead he was sitting inside his busted truck, burning up with desire and anger. He pushed a hand between them even as his mouth continued to plunder hers. She gave as much as he offered, meeting him violent kiss for violent kiss.

He freed himself, barely registering that Jessie had raised herself up on her knees, straddling him, giving him complete access to whisk her panties to one side.

He buried his face in the side of her neck, taking a bite
here and there. He wanted to make sure she knew that this time was different. This time she was with him.

Her breath caught as he entered her. She was tight. So tight. Not “gee, it's been a long time” tight, but “never done this before” tight. And that just couldn't be.

He pushed a little farther. Met with more resistance and the barrier of her innocence, but that meant . . .

Goddamn it.

He pulled away. “Jessie.”

Her head was down, her hair shading her expression from his searching gaze.

“Jessie, look at me.”

She did, and Seth felt a thousand emotions hit him at once. Gentleness and a touch of anger. Not with her, but with himself. Up until now he'd been thinking about her being with his brother, not knowing that she never had been. He had been fueled by anger and a desire he couldn't contain. He hadn't been gentle.

She had a bite mark on the side of her neck. Her lips were red and swollen from the force of his kisses.

Damn it.

They were both still nearly completely dressed. And it was her first time. It never should have been like this.

He swore again. He had to stop. Now. He placed his hands on her hips, intending to put an end to this madness.

“Seth?”

“We can't do this, Jessie.”

“Please don't stop.”

Maybe it was the urgency in her voice. Or maybe the fact that he couldn't deny her anything. He didn't know. Why did she want him? He could ask, but it wasn't time for talking.

He pulled her lips to his once again, taking his time. Soft, sweet kisses even as he settled her lower into his lap. This was how it should have been from the start. He couldn't undo that. He could only make it right from here.

He laved the red mark on her neck, gave it a kiss to heal the sting. But even as he wanted to take it slow, that outrageous desire reared its head, demanding to be assuaged. She squirmed against him, unable to complete their joining as long as he was holding back.

“Seth?” Her voice was soft and filled with questions, her eyes closed.

“This may hurt a bit.” He hated to cause her pain. Yet he needed to love her completely, fully.

She opened her eyes, those gray depths, raging with a desire all her own.

He swore, then covered her mouth with his once again.

She gasped as he broke through, but he swallowed the sound, vowing to make this right. Love her as she deserved to be loved.

Even if they were in the front seat of his pickup.

He eased a hand between them. This time his touch was gentle, meant to bring her pleasure. She made a mewing noise as he found that sweet spot, brushed it with the pad of his thumb.

But even as he wanted to take it slow, Jessie was having none of it. She rocked against him, pushing him too close too soon.

“Jessie,” he groaned.

“Love me, Seth.” She pushed to her knees once more, then lowered herself, sheathing him completely.

She gasped, her muscles tightening around him as she found her release, the motion pulling him over the edge of ecstasy.

*   *   *

I
t was over almost as quickly as it had begun, and though she had found pleasure in Seth's embrace, she felt strangely unsatisfied.

He set her from him and got out of the truck, only putting his clothes back to rights once the door was between
them. He crammed his hat onto his head, effectively hiding his expression from her searching gaze.

What did a person say in a situation like this? Her mother had died when Jessie was too young for such advice, and her grandmother had never been any help in that department. Jessie had been sort of an outcast in school, always on the fringes of the cliques and unable to fit in even with the misfits. She had no girlfriends to pass on pithy remarks or classy “pillow talk” as they called it. So she just watched as Seth lifted the hood. She had seen him walk around to the bed of the truck and retrieve a rag and a recycled milk jug full of water. At least now the smoke had dwindled down to a small curl.

Any moment now he could slam down the hood. The truck would start, and she still hadn't thought of anything to say.

Given the look on his face, “I'm sorry” seemed the most appropriate, but she wasn't sorry. Not in the least.

In fact, she was glad that he had been her first. She was thankful to have shared something so intimate with him, though she had never dreamed it could happen. When she had pressed her lips to his, suddenly waiting until she was married hadn't seemed so important any longer. And neither had Chase.

Good Lord, what would she tell Chase?

Her heart pounded at the thought. Then she took a deep breath. She wouldn't tell Chase anything. He didn't need to know. Everyone in town might believe that one day they would get married, but she knew the score. As much as she loved him, he didn't love her enough to give up his tomcat ways. And by the time he grew up enough to see he needed to change, she would be long gone.

Seth slammed down the hood, his hat still pulled low over his brow. Jessie scooted over to his side of the truck, laying one arm in the open window as he approached.

“Why do I get the feeling you're mad at me?”

“Why am I—” He scoffed and with a shake of his head, braced his hands on his hips.

“Did I do something wrong?” She had thought it had been good, that Seth had, well,
liked
it. But she didn't know for sure. How did a person tell those sorts of things?

“You didn't do anything wrong, Jess. Now scoot over.”

She retreated to her side of the truck as Seth climbed into the cab. But he didn't say a word the rest of the way back to town.

He was thinking. She had known him long enough to realize that. But that angry look still hovered around his eyes.

He pulled into her driveway without a word. Jessie slid from the cab and slammed the door behind her before racing up the steps and into the house.

*   *   *

S
eth nearly crumpled with relief as he let himself into his garage apartment.

Sadie met him at the door, her silky stump of a tail wagging like crazy. He scooped her up into his arms and received a rain of doggy kisses for his trouble.

From the kitchen came the meows of the kittens that Chase had dropped off just a few days before. Seth had been too busy to find them homes yet, but if nothing else, he would run them out to the ranch tomorrow. Jake could always use a few more mousers in the barns.

He planted a quick kiss on the top of the Yorkie's head, then set her back on the floor. “Give me just a minute, girl, and I'll get us both something to eat.”
All of us,
he silently amended as the mews intensified. Yep, tomorrow he was taking the kittens to the Diamond.