Lovers & Liars (14 page)

“Nothing
to be nervous about. Just read the scene, honey,” the casting director said.

Gunther
watched her take a deep breath and close her eyes. When she opened them, she
was staring directly at him.
So, she’s
going to play this scene to me? What a joke!
His anger grew.
She can’t be any good. I hope she fails.

Erica
straightened up, took a deep breath, and then got into character. She spoke
clearly, enunciating perfectly. She tossed her head as she read her lover the
riot act. Pacing back and forth, she moved her gaze from the ceiling to Gunther
and back again.

Damn, the bitch is good.
He
was mesmerized by her performance. As she continued, the subtle shake in her
voice disappeared. She seemed to grow in confidence and no longer needed to
look at the script. The casting director and other producers were hanging on every
word. Erica gestured and strutted, spitting angry lines in Gunther’s direction,
then drawing back and tearing up. Her emotional range was impressive.

When
she finished, there was a second of silence, then a round of hearty applause.
It was like a sword through his heart. She was good, very good. Obviously,
she’d won over the director and the producers, too. She’d nailed it. She’d be
getting the part. Gunther’s emotions bounced all over the place, from hate to
sadness, from betrayal to longing. He didn’t know which way was up.
I’m out of control. I’m never out of
control.

The
concept that she had played him for a fool, just to forward her ambition, bit
into him like a snake’s fangs. The venom growing in his veins cut off his feelings
from his mind. The love in his heart began to disintegrate, replaced by
loathing.
The great Gunther Quill, a
fool. An idiot. Used. She’s good. She’s very good. I didn’t see it coming.

Flashes
of beautiful moments with Erica became tainted. Her sweetness toward him, he
now saw as a set-up.
She’s the great manipulator.
Taken in by a pretty face.
He snorted, a rueful laugh escaping his lips.

“Honey,
that was great! Give me the name of your agent, and we’ll talk terms,” said the
casting director, opening up his phone.

Amid
the noisy praise and questions and answers, Gunther rose. Weakness made his
legs like rubber. He gripped the chair back to steady himself.
How the hell am I going to drive home?

Erica
caught up with him. She put her hand on his arm. “Gunther…please. Let me
explain.”

He
shook her off. If he could have shot fire from his eyes, he would have. “No
explanations necessary. The great producer was taken to the cleaners by the
innocent little girl from the sticks. I get it.”

“Am
I fired?”

“What
do you think?”

“That’s
why I’m asking.”

“Of
course, you’re fired. Clean out your desk tonight and never come back.” He
turned away from her, but still heard her gasp. “I’ll be changing the locks
tomorrow,” he tossed off, to be sure she knew he meant business.

“I
never meant to hurt you. I love you.” She followed him to the door.

The
irony of the situation struck him. A sardonic smile twisted his lips. “Really? You’ve
done nothing but lie to me from the start. You love me? Could have fooled me.
Seems like you used me to get your chance at fame. Well, you got it. So leave
me alone.”

“Isn’t
that the way Gunther Quill rolls?” she said, her hands on her hips, her eyes
dry.

He
turned to face her. “You have the nerve to say that to me? I have never
prostituted myself to get what I want. Never pretended to be in love to achieve
my goals.”

She
slapped his face then shrank back in horror. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“Liar.
Yes, you did.” The sting on his cheek matched the sting in his heart. He
thought she loved him, though she had never said she did. But all the time, it
was his power, his connections, she loved. His internal wound was gushing blood,
making him grow weaker.
I need to get
away before I do something I’ll regret. Like cry.

He
was surprised by the depth of his emotions. Sadness pushed anger out of his
heart. He had loved her, thought she loved him. He wanted her, wanted her to
love him. Needed her to love him. Now, it had all gone up in smoke. He grasped at
the bond he thought they had, but it turned to ashes in his hand.
You fool. She never felt for you what you
did for her.

She
inched closer. “I’ve always loved you. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner.
I didn’t think you could love me.”

“I
don’t.” he spat it out.
Lying to hurt
her. You’re as low as she.
She recoiled as if he had hit her. He couldn’t
shut up. “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re just another girl in my life.” A look
of hurt flashed across her face, and her eyes watered. Seeing how he was
wounding her shamed him, but he couldn’t stop.
What are you doing?

All
of a sudden, he wanted to inflict a blow as deep and deadly as the one she had
dealt him. He knew he still wanted her, loved her, but he couldn’t help himself
“You’re just another vain, selfish woman who thinks she can act. A chick who
wants fame, money, glamour…to make up for the fact her father doesn’t give a
shit about her.”

That
struck its mark, and the minute it left his lips, he regretted it. She drew in
a big breath, and the tears began to flow. “How can you? How could you? Say
something so…” she stuttered.

“How
could I? How could you! That’s the question here. Let’s not turn this around.
It’s you who has inflicted the fatal blow to us. You’re the betrayer. You! Not
I!” His control faltered. Tears crept through his defenses, filling his eyes. His
chin quivered. He had to get out of there before he succumbed to the ultimate
humiliation—crying in front of her, like a jilted lover.

He
flung open the door and hurried outside. Fumbling through his pockets, he
finally located the keys to the
Ferrari
and got inside. He locked the doors and put his head down on the steering
wheel. In a few seconds, he composed himself and looked around.
Thank God. I’m alone.

As
he backed out of the parking space, he saw Erica come out the front. She leaned
against the doorframe, looking crumpled and weak.
You did that to her. You. In her moment of triumph, you stabbed her
through the heart. I hope you know what you’re doing.

But
he didn’t and that made him tremble. Gunther Quill had known his every move in
advance for the past ten years. But not now. He was like a blind man, groping
in the dark, reaching out, looking for a chair, a wall to lean on, something to
prop him up, but finding none.

He
drove straight to the beach, poured a scotch on the rocks, and sat on the deck,
watching the ocean. Gunther Quill, rake, smooth producer, impervious to the
flutterings
of the heart, had finally had his broken. The agony
was almost as bad as when he had lost Laurel. He hadn’t had any pain for years
and years. He’d guarded his inner feelings well. But Erica had crept in,
slowly, under the barbed wire fences protecting his emotions.

For
the first time in twenty years, Gunther didn’t know what to do. He had no plan.
He simply drank and brooded. He replayed every day with Erica in his head.
There were no clues that she had been doing this. No, he hadn’t missed
anything. He had taken her at face value, something he rarely did. Now he
remembered why.
Nobody is what they
appear to be. Why did I think she was?

We could have had it all. Been the
power couple. Together, we could’ve taken East West Productions to the top. How
can I do it without her?
Even now, he’d still be forced to
be around her on the set of
Strange
Bedfellows.
The agony of facing her day after day on the set, watching her
with her co-star, wondering if she was sleeping with him, caused new heartache.

He
didn’t want to sleep with anyone else. He wanted only Erica, but not the new,
devious, deceptive Erica. He wanted the sweet, genuine, loving Erica he had
thought he had.

She was a myth of your imagination.
Get over it. You didn’t lose anything. You never had anything. She was never
what she appeared to be, what you thought she was. She was a liar, deceiver,
user.
He mourned the death of his ideal. The Erica he had
loved hadn’t existed. He’d fallen for a vapor, an excellent performance, not a
real woman.

By
his third scotch, he no longer cared to analyze their every moment together. He
was on the verge of big success, made sweeter because he had shared it with
Erica. Now that was over. Where his heart had been filled with love,
expectations, anticipation, it was now filled with emptiness.
She called me “darling.” Was that a lie,
too? Probably.

The
alcohol and despair overwhelmed him. He stumbled into his bed and fell sound
asleep with his clothes on. An hour later, he woke up. Realizing she’d be at
his office packing her things, he panicked at the idea she might take
confidential information with her.

He
splashed water on his face, gargled with mouthwash, and jumped in his car,
headed for L.A.
Last thing I’ll let her
do is destroy my business. It’s bad enough she’s wrecked my life.
In his
heart, he didn’t really believe she’d take anything. But he’d been wrong about
her before. Now, he didn’t trust himself. He tried to prepare for the worst
case scenario—her stealing his confidential files.

The
thought made his stomach knot.
Could I be
so completely wrong about her? Guess I’ll find out tonight.
He stepped on
the gas, urging the
Ferrari
to a
higher speed.

Chapter
Nine

Erica
stumbled back into the building. Did she have an agent? No. She had hoped
Gunther could help her with that. She had wished Gunther would be happy for
her. What a fool she had been. She’d lied to him, betrayed him, or so he
thought. Now, he assumed she had never cared for him, but she was hopelessly in
love with him.

Watching
him crumble before her eyes had been devastating. Especially knowing she was
the cause of his pain. She’d never seen him so vulnerable.
I guess he did love me, even though he couldn’t say it. That’s the only
explanation.
She returned to the studio where the producers were chattering
away. Everyone congratulated her. They didn’t know her heart had just been
stomped to pieces.

She
fell back on her acting ability and thanked everyone, took a few notes on what
would happen next, and then ran to her rust bucket. She drove to a dead end
street and put the car in park. Unable to hold back any longer, she rested her
head on the steering wheel and sobbed.

When
she finally controlled herself and wiped her eyes and nose, she thought of the
irony of having her biggest success professionally and her biggest failure
personally at the same time. She wanted to celebrate with Gunther, and now he
wouldn’t speak to her. But she knew it was her fault. She’d lied to him. She
had plenty of chances to come clean and didn’t.

She
stopped at a fast food restaurant, picked up food, and drove to Gunther’s
office one last time. She unlocked the door, grateful he wasn’t there. Though
she’d only worked for him for a couple of months, she was surprised how many
personal items she’d moved in. Her growing collection of coffee mugs, favorite
candy, and such had grown slowly, like her attachment to Gunther.

Remembering
her first few days working for him, when she had thought he was mean, she was
ashamed that the betrayal she had expected from him had come from her instead.
What have I done? Why didn’t I tell him
sooner?
In her heart, she knew that even if she had told him sooner, he
would have had the same reaction. Perhaps not the shock of seeing her at the
audition, still, he would have been just as angry.

How could I have agreed to this
without thinking it through? It was supposed to be a scheme to pull one over on
the mean boss. Not break the heart of the man I love.
She
made a pot of coffee and sat back in her chair. The office had become
comfortable. Sipping from one of her mugs, she tried to memorize everything,
from the elegant oil paintings on the walls to the plush leather chairs in the
conference room.

This
had been her home away from home. A place she had shared with Gunther. She
sighed.
I’m gonna miss being here. What’s
going to happen with East West Productions? Guess I’ll be on the set, launching
my career.

In
the middle of her reverie, the door opened, and Gunther marched in. “Don’t
touch anything.” He stopped in the middle of the room.

“What?
You told me to get my stuff out of here.” She tried to sound confident to the
point of belligerence, but her heart fluttered at the sight of him.

“Yeah.
Your stuff. Don’t touch my confidential files.”

“I’d
never… Do you really think I’m out to hurt you?”

“I
don’t know what I think. I didn’t think you were a liar, and I was wrong.”

She
hung her head, covering her eyes with her hand. “I’d never hurt you, Gunther.”

He
laughed a mirthless laugh. “You already have.”

“I
didn’t mean to. This scheme started with Amy. She said you were…”

“That
little bitch? She’s a no-good…”

“I
know! I know. I trusted her. Believed her.”

“She’s
stupid and lazy.”

“I
know that now. I didn’t then. Still, would you have hired me if you knew I
wanted to become an actress?’

“Probably
not.”

“I’m
sorry I misled you…”

“Lied
to me. Bald-faced, out-and-out…”

“Okay!
I lied to you. I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else. I didn’t want to lie
to you, even when I thought you were mean. But I needed a break. I was
desperate. Can you understand that?”

He
thought about her father.
I’ll bet she
was desperate. Then beg for a chance. Don’t lie.
“I get the desperate part.
But what about later? Why didn’t you come clean?”

“I
knew how angry you’d be. I was afraid.”

“Afraid
of what? My yelling at you, firing you?”

“I
could take the yelling. Sure, I didn’t want to be fired. I didn’t want to hurt
you…to lose…” She choked up.

“What?
Lose what?”

“Your
good opinion of me, your affection.” It came out in a whisper.

He
was silent. “Give me the keys.”

Erica
tossed the file cabinet keys to him. “I’d never…”

“Better
safe than sorry.”

His
words cut through her gut like a sharp knife. Tears clouded her eyes. “Is that
what you think of me?”

“I
don’t know what to think. I was so sure I knew you. Then this. I have no idea
who you are.”

Erica
shuddered before collapsing into her chair, sobbing into her hands. Something
tickled her wrist. Gunther held out his handkerchief. She accepted it, smiling
through her tears. “Where do we go from here?” she asked, terrified of the answer.

“Nowhere.
You’re going on location, and I’ll be here.”

“Will
you come see me?” Hope refused to die.

“I’ll
be on the set from time to time. I always have a need to be there to fix one
crisis or another.”

“But
not to see me.”

“What
for? You’ve made it clear. You’re ambitious. You have talent.
Whit
said so, and he was right. He’s always right.” Gunther
chuckled for a moment. “You’re moving on. You don’t need me anymore.”

“You’re
wrong. I do need you.”

“You’ve
never needed me.” He hung his head. “It hurts to say that.”

She
rushed up to him, putting her hands on his forearms. “That’s not true. That’s
not true. I’ve always needed you. I still do.”

He
touched her cheek for a moment before wrapping his fingers around her biceps
and easing her back away from him. “You think you do. You’ll see. Before long,
you’ll be sleeping with your co-star. I’ll be replaced in a heartbeat.”

“I’m
not like that. I don’t fall for every guy who comes along.”

“These
won’t be just any guys. Handsome actors, directors, agents. Your Saturday
nights will be filled.”

“I
don’t want to be with anyone else but you.”

“That’ll
pass.”

“What
about you?”

“Oh,
now you’re concerned about me?”

“I’ve
always been worried about you. I never wanted to hurt you, and now I have. I’m
so sorry.”

“Stop
apologizing. It’s not true.”

“You’ll
have a dozen girls here willing to sleep with you, right?”

“Of
course.”

Again,
she stepped back as if he’d slapped her.

“Doesn’t
mean I want to.”

Her
heart leapt at the tiny crumb he threw her. “You still want me?”

“It
doesn’t matter. Because we’re done.”

“Why?
Why do we have to be done? I did something…bad. To have my dream. Life has been
so hard, and this is all that kept me going. You’ve been ruthless to achieve
success. Can’t you understand it?”

“Hell,
yeah, I understand it. Just don’t like it when it’s directed at me.”

“You’re
right. I should have told you, trusted you.”

“I
don’t know what I would have done. But finding out the way I did… It was
sneaky. You tried to keep me from the audition by setting up that meeting with
Grace, didn’t you?”

She
nodded. “I’m sorry. That was devious.”

“Yeah.
Pretty clever.
Until I got an email from Whit, reminding me.”

“That’s
what happened. Ah, I see.” She nodded again.

“Now
Grace is pissed because I canceled at the last minute. Another fence I have to
mend.”

“Oh,
no. Damn. I keep apologizing. I’m sure it sounds insincere by now.”

“
Ya
think?” He cocked an eyebrow at her.

Erica
finished packing her things. “Well, this is goodbye then.”

“I’ll
help you carry your stuff to your car.”

“Thanks.”

“It’s
not goodbye. You’re still working for me. You’re a supporting actress on my
film.”

“Oh.
Yeah. I almost forgot.” She was dying to ask him about the audition, but she
didn’t dare.

“You
were pretty good, today. Damn good, in fact. I knew you’d get the part.” He
took two shopping bags and still managed to open the door for her.

“You
think so?”

“Didn’t
I just say it?”

“I
wasn’t sure.”

“You
should be.”

They
went down to the parking lot. There were only two vehicles in the lot. The
night was quiet. Erica popped the trunk, and Gunther loaded the bags. She
leaned against the driver’s side door and looked up at him. “What do I do about
the fact that I still love you?”

“I
don’t know. Hope it goes away like a case of chicken pox.”

“I
don’t want it to go away.” She linked her pinky with his. Ignoring the mask he
was wearing, she stepped closer to him and ran her hands up his chest.
This could be the last time.
“Christmas
is coming up. What are you doing?”

“I’m
going to Maine.” He took hold of her wrists, but didn’t push her away.

“To
see your mom? Nice.”

“Don’t
you remember? You bought the tickets.”

It
came crashing back to her. She had made plane reservations for two. He’d asked
her to go with him. “I’d better cancel the other ticket.”

“Why
don’t you just change the destination? Don’t you have any family or friends
you’d like to be with for Christmas?”

She
shook her head.
Just you and your mom.

“Keep
the ticket. Cash it in. Whatever.”

“Would
you kiss me goodbye?” She got up on tiptoes.

“I
don’t think it’s a good idea.”

She
gave him her most pathetic look. He chuckled. “Turning those doe eyes on me
again. You know I can’t resist those.” He leaned down and locked his lips with
hers.

Erica
fastened her arms around his neck, holding him to her. She opened her mouth,
and he plunged in. He held her tight, his hands on her waist as his tongue
danced with hers. Erica melted into him, molding her body to his. She wanted
him and pressed her hips against his, feeling his response. He groaned, but
broke from her.

She
peered into dark eyes filled with lust.
He
still wants me. Maybe, just maybe.

“Goodbye,
Erica. Thanks for all you did for the business. Making amends with Gracie and
all.”

“Thanks
for the connection to
Whitmarsh
Eddy, and for
everything you did for me. I owe you so much.”

“You
owe me nothing.”

He
opened the car door for her. She put the old jalopy in gear and rolled off.
Tears gathered as she watched him grow farther and farther away in her rearview
mirror.
What have I done? Traded one
dream for another?

* * * *

December
wasn’t Gunther’s favorite month. The holidays depressed him. The never-ending
parade of Christmas parties, each more lavish than the one before, was trying.
Gunther went alone and was teased for being there stag. He needed to be seen,
to connect with producers, actors, and writers, but the gatherings with their
synthetic cheer brought a hollowness to his heart.

Dizzy
anticipation at the prospect of bringing Erica home to his mother had become
lethargy. Looking forward to an old-fashioned Christmas in Maine with Erica and
his mom turned to dread at facing his mother without his girl and fending off
crushing loneliness, made worse by the holiday. He hoped to drown himself in work,
but that proved to be a disappointment as well.

While
he was revved up to plow ahead with his business plans, everyone else took time
off, frustrating his attempt to drum Erica out of his mind, at least for a few
weeks. Carla, his temp assistant, was efficient enough, but not a creative
thinker, not as sharp as Erica. He wondered if Erica hadn’t been so good at her
job because she was an actress and had a special feel for the business.

The
first weeks of December dragged on. Finally, he prepared for his trip east to
Maine. Flying alone, Gunther settled himself in his first-class seat,
disgruntled to have to take two weeks off. He’d spend it with his mom.