Lovers and Other Strangers Box Set: The Boston Stories (3 page)

This would be so much easier if Allyn had been here but it couldn’t be helped. He had wanted to cancel his trip when the plans changed but the work was too important to just give up on something they had spent years working on. She wasn’t going to let the Indian government put off the mother and child welfare clinics just because she needed to get her back fixed. Allyn had promised that he would be there when she woke up and he was going to call and speak to Dennison before the surgery anyway.

Michael had been at the hospital for an hour already and it was only 6:00 AM. Violet’s surgery was going to last 6-8 hours. He needed to stop referring to her as Violet even in his head. Ms. Bellows, her name was Ms. Bellows and as far as he was concerned it wouldn’t ever be anything else. He’d eaten, changed into scrubs, gone through the case with the surgical residents who would be working with him. There was nothing to do but go speak to Ms. Bellows and her husband.

Michael was shocked when he entered the curtained off cubicle to find Violet sitting by herself. He wanted to put his arms around her she looked so miserable. “I don’t understand.” He blurted out “What could have possibly kept Mr. Bellows away when you were going for surgery?

“Allyn had meetings that were unavoidable in India. I felt it was more important that he be there than holding my hand for the few minutes I’d be here before I am taken in. He said he would call you.”

“ I am still shocked that a man would leave his wife alone at a time like this.”

“Wife! Oh no, Allyn is my brother though he doesn’t look it. We had different mothers.” just then Michael’s pager went off.

“I am sorry I have to take this.” He was confused, thrilled but confused as he called the page operator and sure enough it was Allyn Bellows.

“Mr. Bellows, I have been given to understand you are in India. Yes, She explained that it was unavoidable. Of course, I will call the minute we are done with the surgery and again when she is awake in recovery. Do you have any questions for me? Um... Yes she had mentioned her fear of hospitals but she never went into detail as to why. I see, that must have been awful for her. Yes, I will do everything I can to make her comfortable while she is here. When are you due back? You may be delayed, the storm is expected to last a couple of days so Logan may be closed. I promise I will take very good care of her. I will talk to you soon, you can leave your number with my office. Good Bye.”

“That would have been Allyn. As usual right on time!”

Michael could barely hear what she was saying over the pounding in his heart. She wasn’t married! He wanted to do some god awful dance if he could have. Oh Christ! Now he was going to have to cut her open. His heart sank. Orthopedic surgery was a nasty brutal thing. To straighten her spine he was going to have to cut her hip open and chisel out a good size chunk of bone. Then he was going to have to cut open her back from well above her waist to the top of her ass. Then he was going to have to screw the bone into the spine itself with large Titanium screws that would be supplemented with tie rods for lack of a better term.

Oh God, now he understood the rules about doctors not treating family and loved ones in a way he had never really thought about. But that was absurd, it wasn’t as though he could be in love with Violet Bellows. They had only spoken a handful of times and one of those he’d been yelling at her and she at him. She was just very beautiful and that was what swayed his thoughts. Once she was draped for surgery she would look like every other patient. He would just have to do a better job for her than anyone else could.

Where were those screams coming from? Those weren’t pain, that sounded more like terror. He had been at the hospital since coming in for the Bellows surgery. That was almost thirty-six hours ago. This storm was supposedly going to last at least another two days. There was already almost three feet of snow on the ground. With the wind howling, drifts had made it impossible for the snowplows to get through some roads. Police were bringing people in since some of the ambulances were stuck. It was a nightmare. All surgeries were cancelled, except for life threatening conditions. He was stuck here but those screams had woken him from his sleep.

Where were they coming from? Finally he found the source. Oh, please no, he thought to himself, not his shy Violet.

He entered her room and her distress was palpable. Her eyes were wild with terror not just pain. He moved to her bed.

“Violet! Tell me what is wrong!

“The storm! We’ll be killed in the storm!” They were 15 floors up and here the wind was screaming at the windows, sounding more like a jet engine than a snow storm. Some fool had left her drapes open. He rolled to the window and closed the drapes. That helped decrease the noise and blocked out the visual effect of the storm. Both of these seemed to lessen her terror. He pulled out his phone and punched up the music app. In seconds he had found what he was looking for. “Violetta, Listen to your opera.” The overture of La Traviata began. He went back to her bed and lay the phone down on it. He took her hands in his. They were shaking and felt like ice.

“It hurts so much!” She was still terrified and in pain. Where was the damn button for the morphine pump. He searched in her blankets, finally finding it and repeatedly pressing it.

“There now that will help.” He was desperate to do more. Her hair had been braided back for the surgery though in her distress some of the curls had come free. He smoothed her forehead and moved the hair out of her face. She still seemed to be looking at him without seeing. “Should I tell you the story of your opera.” She blinked in response, which he took as a yes. He whispered in her ear. “Violetta was the most beautiful woman of her age. No man could look at her and not want her.”

Violet closed her eyes at his words and the soft whispers at her ear. The morphine helped to ease the pain and the story gave her something to focus on. Her handsome doctor was holding her hand. She could feel his warm breath on her fingers. She turned her face to his and he smiled. She was coming back to herself. Without thinking he started kissing her fingers. If this was the reward for enduring the pain she would take it. The music was so beautiful, his words in her ear were like poetry. The morphine dulled the pain but did not entirely remove it. It did lower her inhibitions enough to ask “Kiss me.” Michael stopped the story and looked into her eyes.

Had she read his mind, but then he wanted to do much more than kiss her. While he had been whispering the opera in her ear he was fixated on the sliver of her creamy white shoulder that the johnny coat left exposed. He desperately wanted to taste her plump, rosy lips, slide his tongue past them to hers, explore the hard edges of her teeth. No, it wouldn’t be right! She was his patient. She was in the grip of pain and on drugs that lessen one’s grip on reality. But, but... That slice of shoulder tantalized him. He inched forward, barely moving. All he had to do was drop his head and brush his lips just there at the edge of the gown. His body seemed to have a will of its own and without thought did exactly that.

Violet saw his eyes close. He craned his neck slightly and brushed his lips across her shoulder. She closed her eyes and warmth flooded her body, a better balm for her pain than any drug. If this slight touch from his lips could melt her what would real passion from him feel like. Her breath caught in her throat like a sob. She let her body melt into his touch, letting the thrill of it drive the fear and the pain away. Then she moaned and he broke the contact. The pain came flooding back worse than before.

“No!, don’t stop, it is the only thing that helps.” she cried, her eyes wild with torment.

“It is... It's not right. You are my patient. I must respect the bounds of propriety.” He felt miserable saying it.

“I don’t care... is there somewhere you can kiss me? Please! I need to lose myself in something beautiful, other than all this pain.” Her voice was starting to keen like the wind outside. Michael didn’t care if they took his license. He would do anything to bring her some relief. He looked at her hand in his. Turning it as if just realizing that he was holding such an exquisite object. He placed one of the fingertips against his lips. She stilled and seemed to stop breathing, watching him with wide eyed fascination. He kissed each fingertip in turn and then turned her hand palm up. Michael whispered to her, his mother used to do this to soothe him as a child and began to lightly caress her palm with one of his fingers. Drawing it down the center made her quiet. She looked at him with such, devotion but that didn’t make any sense. It didn’t matter to him right now. All he knew was he would stay here till she made it through the storm.

Violet closed her eyes and willed her breath to slow. His light tracings on her palm were sending waves of pleasure through her body, warm liquid relief. The tracing stopped but he still held her hand, she would scream if he let go. He must think she is asleep. This feeling was the opposite of sleep, which brought peace. In this state every nerve ending was on edge, all her senses focused on one spot. Through her lashes she watched him bend his head to her palm, with the slightest touch he kissed it. When she didn’t stir, he kissed more deeply. She moaned at this intimate gesture. He wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him. He pulled back from her hand and she continued to feign sleep. Once he was convinced that she had not woken he continued the kisses on her palm. Violet thought she would burst from desire but she did not want to scare her dear sad doctor. Her breath deepened and she curled her fingers just slightly to caress his face while he kissed her palm. The fine points of his beard tantalized her fingertips. She wanted more than him just kissing her hand. Slowly, so slowly he almost didn’t notice the movement she drew her hand to her collar bone. When it got there he stopped the kisses. She could feel his eyes on her.

“Are you my shy Violet or Violetta right now?” he whispered. She felt her mouth purse and the corners curl in the barest of smiles. She could be anything for him. She could feel the warmth of his breath before his lips touched hers but when they did Violet felt bathed in light. She allowed herself the smallest of peeks to see if the wonderful feeling really was coming from him. She imagined that if sleeping beauty were real this is what she would have felt like. This was maddening, how could she kiss him back if she were supposed to be asleep but if she “woke up” now he would bolt, she was sure of it. She fought to keep her breathing deep and even when she wanted to pant. Eventually she let her jaw go slack just a little. Would he try to deepen the kiss, please! her mind screamed. The kiss stopped. She wanted to cry and missed the taste of him already. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore and opened her eyes. There not 3 inches from her face was Dr. Dennison. Her eyes fluttered in shock that she hoped he would read as waking up.

“You are quite beautiful but a truly lousy actress.”

“I... Wha... Oh, hell.” Then a bolt of pain tore through her body. “Oh God!”

“Violet! Oh damn the morphine pump!” Michael raced to where he had been holding the button and started pressing it repeatedly. “Hang in there, it will work quickly. “Damn I forgot the thing needs to be pressed every 30 seconds.” He continued to press the button in time. Violet lay back waiting for the drug to wash over her but the wait seemed endless. In her pain she heard Michael’s voice and felt her hand in his.

“Violet, listen to me.” He whispered in her ear, his words like some ancient incantation, “Close your eyes.” She did as he asked “I want you to move the pain. Imagine it is a bright light, put all of the pain in that light. Now, pour the light in to my hand. Pass the pain to me.”

Her eyes flew open. “No... I could never cause you this much pain!” she cried. He held her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.

“Okay, make the light into a ball and pass the ball to me and I will throw it away.” With that he moved his hand so that just their finger tips were touching with space for the ball of light in the middle. Violet could feel it! She could feel all of the pain joining together into a single ball of light. She imagined the pain moving up her core to her heart. There she added some of the love she felt for this good caring man and sent it down her arm. She felt her hand grow warm in his, felt her palm burn. Then she felt his hand move away and the heat and the pain were gone. When she looked over at him he was smiling down at her and had taken her hands in his while he continued to push the morphine pump button.

“You are a mystic.” she said drowsily.

“No, it is just a visualization technique for pain control.” Now he was stroking her forehead and it was wonderful. “I will stay here and keep pressing the button so you can get some sleep. Please sleep, it will do you good.”

“mmm... Magic” and she drifted off in a drugged slumber.

Two hours later, Violet’s eyes flashed open as the pain increased. She looked down and saw that Michael had fallen asleep with his head on her bed. He was still clutching the morphine pump button. She uncurled his fingers the way you would a sleepy child’s and took it from him. She continued to press the button herself while she stroked his hair. It was like silk in her fingers. She closed her eyes and imagined what it would be like to lay in bed holding him after they had made love. Hmm, she supposed, depending on where he was paralyzed he may not be able to do some things. No matter, he could still give and receive pleasure of some kind and that is a kind of “making love.” Even though the morphine didn’t remove the pain it did make it manageable so she could lay here and actually enjoy this moment of contentment. It was not great passion, blinding lust, or even earth shaking orgasm but this felt rarer somehow. Contentment is such a fragile quiet thing that it can go unrecognized until it isn’t there anymore. Violet watched his back lift with each breath. She stroked his jaw lightly and felt his beard play against her finger tips. Yes, she wanted him, his kisses made her melt but it was more than that. How could she be falling in love with someone she barely knew? But there was no doubt that she was indeed falling in love. She let him sleep for another hour, he needed it. When she woke him she whispered his name and tickled his ear. He woke up slowly but when he opened his eyes and saw her he smiled even though he wasn’t fully awake. That small unguarded moment was precious to her.