Love Rules (30 page)

‘Come on then!’ she smiled expansively at Gabriel. ‘Hop on the bed and let's have a look at you.’

I know we haven't exchanged – and I know the process might be beset with hassles and stress but sod it, I have a good vibe and a long lunch hour and it's a beautiful day so I'm going to stroll all the way to the Ruth Aram shop and buy something gorgeous for our new home. A lamp maybe! Perhaps something funky and functional for the kitchen! Or a stunning piece of ceramic just because it's beautiful!

She phones Saul to see if he wants to join her, perhaps even squeeze in a celebratory sandwich lunch somewhere, but his phone is off and she imagines he is either up against a deadline to extol the new generation Bluetooth for
T3
magazine or perhaps out of range in some picture editor's office.

No! No, he's not! He's not doing Bluetooth or pictures because there he is! Just ahead of me! Over there! Saul! Saul! O most auspicious day!

Saul is wending his way down Berwick Street ahead of Thea. The scamp and bustle of the market absorb Thea's voice so she attempts to pick up her pace and weaves between stall-holders and browsers to try and catch up with him. She sees him turning left.

‘Hey! Saul – Mr Mundy!’

He hasn't heard. And there's a bloke riding a moped on the pavement sending pedestrians scattering like skittles. Thea skips her way on and off the kerb with the deftness of Gene Kelly in
Singing in the Rain
only it's not raining, it's gloriously sunny. She turns the corner just in time to see Saul disappearing into a doorway some yards ahead.

Damn. Quick. Let me try his phone again. Bugger – still off. He must have gone into some meeting. Bluetooth and pictures or what have you.

Momentarily disappointed, Thea decides she'll stroll along this street anyhow because it won't be too much of a detour and, although it's mostly sex shops and dodgy video clubs, there may be some interesting shops further along.

Here. This is where Saul is having his meeting. In here.

Strange.

Doesn't look like an office.

There's no front door!

Well, there is, but it's been propped open. But there's certainly no sign of a reception area with a cold-water dispenser and the company logo on laser-etched glass. The open doorway reveals just a bare hallway and a staircase, with gloss paint chipped like a tart's fingernails.

There are two signs taped to the door jamb, each beneath a buzzer.

BLACK BEAUTY 1ST FLOOR

MODELS! top

Thea stands at the threshold and backs away. How odd – because she's sure this was where Saul went. Positive, in fact. Perhaps it's all very C. S. Lewis, she thinks to herself – you go in one place and come out quite somewhere else. She checks the buildings to either side. One is a minicab office with a sleepy Ugandan sitting on the doorstep with a clip-board on his knee. The other is a business selling perspex of all colours, thicknesses, shapes and sizes. It's closed, though.
Back 1 Hour
the note says. No, this building in between is definitely where Saul went in.

Thea hovers back outside the building. Black Beauty and Top Models. Fleetingly, she imagines Kate Moss and her pals sitting upstairs watching daytime television and the thought is so incongruous she grins. But anyway, it's ‘MODELS! top’, not ‘top models’, so Thea lets the image go.

All it says is
‘BLACK BEAUTY 1ST FLOOR
’ and
‘MODELS! top’.
But there must be someone else, another business, in there because Saul's gone in.

‘Excuse me.’ Thea approaches the Ugandan, relaxed on a rickety chair, tapping a Biro on his clipboard.

‘You want a cab, lady? Where you going?’

‘No, thanks. I'm just. Do you know what else is in that building?’ Thea asks. The man glances and shrugs. ‘Is there a small studio or company that makes gadgets?’ Thea asks. ‘You know, boys' toys and the like?’ The minicab man chuckles. ‘Is there something to do with publishing in there?’ Thea persists.

‘No. Just the girls,’ the man tells her, ‘just those girls.’

‘Oh,’ says Thea, frowning. How peculiar. She stares at the building. There's probably a writer's tiny garret right at the top. Saul's probably gone to commission some freelancer or other. ‘Is there a tiny office right at the top?’ she asks. The minicab man shrugs and shakes his head. Thea reads this as the man not actually knowing the answer. The perspex shop is still closed. Maybe they have a small storeroom in the next building and Saul needs some perspex.

BLACK BEAUTY.

Wait! Oh my God, Black Beauty!

Thea spins an explanation so plausible and heart-warming that she starts swooning at Saul's thoughtfulness.

He's researched it! It's some book specialist devoted to Anna Sewell's great tome! He's buying me a first edition!

Is he?

Is he, Thea?

Is that what he's buying in there?

She sees that the minicab man is putting his chair inside and shutting up shop, walking off towards the market. The street
is quiet. There's another man, sauntering up the street, jangling a bunch of keys. Perspex for sale. What kind of a trade is that? How much perspex must you sell in a day to make a living? How long has Thea been there? She has no idea. How long has Saul been in there? She just can't figure it out.

‘Exuse me,’ she approaches the perspex man as he's unlocking the shop door, ‘what's next door?’

‘It's a house of ill repute, my dear,’ he says theatrically, lightly.

‘And what else?’ Thea asks. ‘Are there any writers in there too? Or small quirky businesses? Anything with anything to do with magazine publishing?’

‘No,’ the man says, ‘just the girls. Try a couple of streets along – there's a few book places and the like around there.’ He enters the shop. Thea remains on the pavement. She's starting to feel sick and confused. Come on,
think
. There
must
be an explanation. Why is Saul in there? What's he doing? When is he coming out?

BLACK BEAUTY 1ST FLOOR.

MODELS! top

Where is Saul? Where is he? First floor? Or on top?

There's only so much thinking Thea can do because, after all, there's only the girls in there. And Saul. In painfully slow motion, Thea's life is beginning to fragment into splintered images and fractured memories, half-formed theories and hastily rejected signs and clues, all of which wreak havoc with her ability to acknowledge fact.

A door closes. Footsteps are descending the staircase. Thea fears she's rooted to the spot and yet suddenly she finds
herself inside the perspex shop. Her heart pounds in her throat and head at different rates. Some force hauls her stomach against her spine and evaporates all the moisture in her mouth. Her conscience rails; she yells at herself you horrible cow! how dare you cast aspersions at Saul! how dare you think he could do something like that! something like that to you! look! see! it's not Saul! of course it's not Saul – it's a complete stranger! just some sad old fat bloke in his sixties who lives with his mum in Purley and has never had a girlfriend.

No.

It
is
Saul. It
is
Saul. It
is
Saul.

Thea watches Saul saunter past through her fractured perspex veil. Saul, distorted through this prism of shards and sheets and panes and panels in jewel-like colours and degrees of transparency. Everything is twisted, fragmented; like a Cubist painting. What is real? How do you piece it together? How can the meaning be deciphered?

That was Saul.

It was him.

It really was.

He wasn't casting furtive looks to either side. He didn't skulk away incognito. His head was high and he looked pretty happy.

‘I need to use your toilet.’

Mr Perspex has never had a customer ask before and this one doesn't even seem to be a customer but Mr Perspex shrugs and tells Thea it's out the back. She vomits. She throws up everything she has inside her. She flushes it away but suddenly
there's more. She flushes again before another churning spasm scorches her stomach and burns her throat as she hurls bile down into the toilet. Flush it away. Flush it away. She heaves and retches but at last there's nothing left. Physically, it's a relief yet still she feels desperately sick.

Nothing's left. There is nothing left.

Alice?

u there, Mr B?

Yes, he is!

howz u? I miss u, u mad sexy bitch!

miss u 2

‘Who are you texting, Alice?’

‘No one – I mean, it's just a work matter, Mark.’

‘Do you fancy Thai?’

‘Sorry?’

‘Thai – takeaway?’

‘Yes. Sure. Whatever. Just give me a minute, would you, Mark?’

bad timing, txt u L8R xxxxxxxxxxx

‘Sorry, Mark. Now, what were you saying?’

‘Do you fancy Thai?’

‘I'm not hugely hungry, actually.’

‘Well, there's nothing in the fridge.’

‘I've been busy!’

‘I'm not criticizing you, Alice – I just said we've nothing in the house so do you fancy popping out for a meal or ordering a takeaway?’

‘Oh. OK. Sure. Order plenty and I'll have a nibble.’

‘OK. Unless you'd rather go out?’

‘No – takeaway is fine. Just get a takeaway.’

u there, big boy?

yes – thnkng of ur hot bod …

my hot bod v v slippry!

me hard & horny – wanna suk?

yum yum cum! come 2 me! come 2 uk??!!

luv 2 but me skint

but I want 2 play with my toyboy …

can u fone?

no – not now – not poss xxxxx

‘Here we go – I ordered way too much. Are you all right, Alice?’

‘Sorry? Yes, I'm fine. Just thinking about work actually.’

‘I popped into Blockbuster too.’

‘I have some work to do – do you mind if I disappear for an hour or so?’

‘No – of course. Here, let me do you a plateful. There you are, darling.’

‘Thanks, Mark.’

I cld send u tix …

wots ‘tix’?

TICKETS – idiot! u r all balls, no brain!!

Easyjet/Eurostar etc

but I'm broke Alice!

am sure u can thnk of ways 2 recompense me, Mr B

cld fuck u til you beg for mercy …

hmmm that'll do nicely!

seriously, Alice – u serious?

v serious – will research & fone/txt u 2moro xxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxx

‘How did it go?’

‘That was delicious.’

‘How did it go? The work – all done?’

‘Oh. Yes. It's fine. I just wanted to try to sort something out. Mark – have you any trips booked in the near future?’

‘I'm not sure. Why?’

‘Oh, nothing. It doesn't matter.’

‘I know what you're after – a holiday! Good call, Alice – we haven't been away for ages. Tell you what, I'll mention it tomorrow. What a great idea. How about the Maldives – ultra luxury.’

‘But are you going away on business at all? Soon?’

‘I don't think so – no plans to. Anyway, you know what – sod it! I'd cancel!’

u there? X

When Alice's phone buzzed a message through two hours
later, her heart skipped but then slumped at not seeing Paul's name flash up. Her heart then picked up its pace a little when she saw it was from Thea. Alice read it and then deleted it.

I am here, Thea. But I'm not quite ready yet, lady.

Thea?

‘Hi, babe – just me. I'll leave a message on your land line. Call me when you get this. Bye!’

lunch 2day? Film 2nite? Sx

‘Oh, hi hon – it's just me – I'm wondering if you've lost your mobile? Anyway, give me a call as soon as you can. Bye.’

earth 2 Thea, earth 2 Thea … Wheres u???? Fone me!! Sxxxx

‘Hullo, babe – have you been abducted by aliens? Fallen down a well? Run away? I'm slightly worried now – give us a call. OK. Bye.’

r my txts arriving – is your fone on the blink?? Sxx

‘Er. It's just me – Saul – I think you've probably lost your mobile but I'm leaving this message anyway and I'll call your
land line again. If you pick up this message, can you phone me, babe? Speak to you soon, bye.’