“Me? This late?”
She sucks her teeth, even though every time I did it, I got smacked in the head. “Ay, go.
Ándale
. You think too much, my Sky.”
• • •
I change out of my dress and run out to the back. My pulse quickens with my steps as I pull open the back doors.
“Hey,” I say, breathless.
Hayden stands at the edge of the pool wearing a white t-shirt and blue jeans. In his hands is a small wooden box. The night breeze urges me closer to him. My insides feel like a pinball machine, with my heart as the metal ball getting knocked around from corner to corner. Right now, it’s in the back of my ribcage.
“I have a wedding present for your uncles. I just didn’t know if it was appropriate for me to give it to them.”
“Oh,” I say. I can be cool and casual. I can ignore that my heart has now been ricocheted to my stomach and all the lights in my pinball-machine-self are going haywire from his nearness. “Thank you. I can give it to them.”
I hold my hand out but he won’t give it.
“Sky,” he says, deflating a little. “This is stupid. I miss you. I should have texted you back but I wanted to surprise you. Then on the way over here I realized that my non-response would have come off as not wanting to talk to you.”
I breathe deeply, taking control back over my body and heart. I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around him. I bury my face in his chest. I press my hand on his back. I’m relieved when he holds me back.
“Those were pretty terrible days being without you.”
I nod into his chest. God, I missed his smell. I missed the smell of wood and soap and everything earthy. I missed the way he anchors me.
“Come,” he says, holding my hand and leading me towards the gazebo. “Surprise isn’t done yet.”
We walk across the damp grass where crickets chirp their mating calls. He leads me through the dark, up the steps of the gazebo. It smells like fresh varnish. I run my hand along the smooth wood, the intricate designs that make it so one-of-a-kind.
“It’s beautiful,” I tell him.
When I turn he isn’t there. I’m at the center of the gazebo in the middle of the night. Most of the lights in the house are off. There’s just the moon and the blue glow of the pool.
“Hayden?”
“Hang on,” his voice calls out from somewhere in the dark. I can hear him fumble with something. He yelps, like he cut himself. Then a final, “Here goes.”
The lights come on. Dozens of tiny lights are strung around the top of the gazebo. It makes the backyard look like it’s ready for a fairytale wedding.
Hayden returns to me. “Do you like it?”
“It’s amazing. I mean, I’m not getting married here, but I would. I mean. You know what I mean.”
“I do.” He grabs me by the waist and hoists me up to him, pressing his lips to my lips. Damn, I’ve missed them. Every inch of them.
“Hayden, I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it.”
“I’m sorry I walked away from you.” He cups my face. I love the way he looks at me. I can feel his adoration. I don’t have to guess. “I made it about me when you’re the one getting hit on by every guy on Long Island.”
“Not every guy,” I say.
“Either way. Can you forgive me for leaving?”
“Can you forgive me for not telling you right then and there how I feel about you?”
“Depends. How do you feel?” He tilts me back to expose the tender skin of my neck.
My body responds to him right away, all tingly and wet. “That you’re mine and I’m yours. That you brighten my day with the way you smile at me. That I want you to kiss me every day for as long as humanly possible.”
And he does. He kisses me from my neck, to my jaw, to my mouth. He smells sweet, like he was eating candy before he got here. “That’s it?”
I smack his chest. “What do you mean? Now it’s your turn.”
I realize that, this whole time, we’ve been swaying. The music is a simple thing—the breeze against trees, crickets, the ripple of the pool, the quick beats of our hearts.
“I feel really happy that I didn’t quit my dad’s company like I said I would. I wasn’t supposed to be on the job that day. If I hadn’t been, I never would have met you. I’m not big on meant-to-be. But if this is it, then I’m a believer. I believe that you are strong and independent. I believe that I’ve never known anyone quite like you. I believe that I love you, and that alone makes me want to be a better man.”
Hayden loves me.
I love Hayden.
It’s easier than science.
I wrap my arms around his neck. “Good. Because I love you, too.”
I lead Hayden up the stairs and into my bedroom, rushing him through the door when I hear footsteps creak down the hall.
“You haven’t even seen the present for your uncles,” he tells me.
“I’m busy.” That’s right. I am busy. I’m busy pulling his shirt over his head. Touching each distinct muscle that flexes under my skin.
He catches my bottom lip and tugs on it. “Sky.”
I pull back just enough to feel the cool air between us. “Yes?”
“It’s important to you too.” He holds the wooden box between us. I’d much rather have his wood between us. “After that, you can have your way with me.”
“Promise?”
He bites my shoulder as a response.
Now that he’s here and has forgiven me, I can’t think of anything else. He has to lift me off his lap and set me on the bed. I jokingly protest, but now I’m interested in what’s inside the box. I recognize Hayden’s beautiful carving. There’s a P and T in an elegant script. I love the idea of Hayden sitting there, working with his hands to make this. Lucky’s right, men who work with their hands sure know how to use them.
I open it to find two wooden figurines nestled on a blue velvet cloth. At first, I don’t know what I’m supposed to be looking at. The first one is about four inches tall and made of a light brown wood. The face isn’t really distinct but it’s a beautiful carving nonetheless. The second one is a little bit shorter and made from mahogany. Each one has the initials carved into their hearts—a T and a P.
“This is them,” I say. I turn to kiss him, but he’s already halfway there. “Thank you.”
“I wanted your approval. Should we give it to them at the wedding rehearsal or save it as a surprise?”
I smile against his lips so our teeth smack together. I fall back in a fit of giggles. “Wedding day. They’ll love it so much.”
“Shhh. You’re going to get us caught.”
I roll my eyes. “Half the house is out partying.”
“I only just got your mom to like me.”
I look at him suspiciously. “Yeah, how’d you do that?”
He leans back on my bed, spreading out that glorious body for me. “I can be charming when I want to be.”
“Hayden.”
“I told her that I loved you. That I just want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.”
I set the cake toppers on my dresser and lock the door. In the dark of my room with the soft blue pool light coming in through the balcony, I know there is one thing that I want. I pull the straps of my dress off my shoulder. I really love in movies when they do that, and cut to the dress falling to the floor. Hayden follows the fabric. It slides past my breasts, down my waist, hips, and lands on the floor in a pool of chiffon.
Hayden unbuckles his belt.
I grab my breasts to make my nipples hard, then explore my own body with my hands. I wrap my hands across my waist, trail them down my hips. I hook my thumbs on the edge of my thong.
Hayden undoes the button and fly of his jeans.
I pull my panties down, wiggle my hips. I take two steps forward, leaving my clothes behind. He reaches for me, but I wave my finger at him. I take courage from the lust in his eyes. I watch him watch me massage my clit.
“Come here,” he tells me.
“Make me.”
He’s up in a shot. It makes my breath catch. He hoists me up in the air. I wrap my legs around his waist. His dick curls upward. He slides it up and down between my wetness. The tip presses into me and I gasp. I dig my nails into his back to hold on. He pulls back.
“God, you’re so tight.”
I yelp when he lifts me higher on the wall. He drives me crazy with the way he bites my neck and moans in my ear.
“Hayden, I need you.”
“I need you.”
“Get inside me.”
He thrusts his pelvis up. He catches my scream with his lips. It’s kind of nice trying to be quiet when all I want to do is shout. I feel his head inside of me. He slides in slowly, achingly, making room for the rest of him. It hurts a little, in the most delicious kind of way.
“Baby,” he whispers. “Baby, you feel so good.”
He pulls me away from the wall and throws me onto the bed, never pulling out. His hands pin mine over my head. I open up wider and he picks up his speed. He’s so slick that he slides out once. For a moment, Hayden disappears. He pulls out, leaving me sprawled on the bed.
“Hayden?”
His hands grab my thighs, and then that mouth, that beautiful mouth of his covers my pussy. It’s just a tease, because he returns, climbing on top of me.
“I couldn’t help myself. I needed to taste you again.”
He kisses me, lifting a leg over his shoulder. His dick slides back in, and this time he drives it in as far as possible. He kisses away the pain with his lips, and in this moment, I’ve never wanted someone more in my whole life. It swirls inside me and tightens in the pit of my stomach.
“Look at me, baby.” His eyes are so blue. “I love you, Sky.”
I answer him with a kiss. In that kiss I want to convey all the love I have for him. It comes in a rush, like the last few weeks. I hold onto it. “I’m coming.”
My insides pulse around his length. He chuckles against my ear. “I know, baby. Come for me.”
He thrusts into me until the ripple of my orgasm makes me crash. I press him deeper into me by pressing my feet on his ass.
When Hayden comes, he shuts his eyes. Even without looking, he finds my lips. We’re sweaty and wet and exhausted. But for the first time in a long time, it feels so, so good.
Hayden leaves in the middle of the night.
I wake up to a note that says. “See you at rehearsal, Love.”
My mom might be warming up to him, but seeing Hayden walk out of my bedroom in the morning with a post-coital smile plastered all over his face won’t do us any favors.
While I brush my teeth, River comes in and sits on the toilet.
“I happened to wake up this morning,” she says, “and saw an extremely shirtless Hayden sneaking out the house. He’s not much for covert missions. Does he ever wear a shirt?”
I rinse and spit. “He does! But it doesn’t stay on for very long.”
“I take it you’ve made up.”
“We made up and a half.”
“Good for you, babe. Get yours.”
I set my brush back in the cup holder and sit on the bathtub ledge. “What’s up?”
She holds onto the sides of the toilet, looks down at her lap. “I need your help.”
I brace for the Thing that River’s been holding back since she got here.
She licks her lips. In the white bathroom light she looks like a broken doll. Her curls hang tangled and her lips are dry.
“I fucked up,” she says. Her foot starts to tremble. I place my hand on her knee to make it stop. “It’s Will.”
“River,” I say. “Did you pay him?”
“I tried. I went to Smitty’s. They wouldn’t cash my chips.”
“Why not?”
“I kind of told the dealer to go fuck his mother the last time I was there. Anyway, Mad let me play again, and I won back the three hundred, but Will wouldn’t take it. He said ‘this one’s on the house.’ Sky, what if he kills me?”
“He’s not going to hurt you, River.”
“I have to go. I don’t know where, but I have to go.”
Outside the bathroom Elena and Maria are fighting over a hairdryer. Pepe is knocking on doors to make sure everyone remembers to dress properly tonight because there will be pictures. No one knows what’s going on in here, what’s going on with River. It’s like day and night.
“Does he know where you’re staying?”
“I don’t think so. But it’s a small town. Not hard to figure out.”
I’m concerned that River will never be able to stop gambling. More than that, that she’ll meet someone worse than Will. I’ve been scared for River since the day she put a cherry bomb in Frankie Morales’s mailbox because he touched my boobs in gym.
“No one’s going to come for you.”
“I found this thing.” She tucks her hair back. “It’s a rehab center in West Bumblefuck, Montana. I still haven’t touched the money from my dad’s life insurance…”
I choke laugh. When did I stop noticing that River was so lost? “I’m sorry, Riv. I’ve been so wrapped up in my shit that I haven’t been taking care of you.”
River takes my hands in her. “That was never your job.”
“I know. But you’re my sister.”
“Besides, everyone knows I’m the fist, Leti’s the fury, and you’re the heart.”
I pull her into a hug. I can feel her tremble, like a deep cold has reached down to her bones.
“I’m going to talk to Hayden. He seems to know everyone around here. Maybe he can help get Will off your back.”
“I tell you all the time not to be an idiot,” she says. “I just haven’t figured how to follow my own advice.”
I grab her face and kiss her forehead. “Everything is going to be fine.”
She tries to smile. “I’ve missed your optimism.”
I leave her to shower. I tell myself that everything is going to be okay. River has always taken care of herself. She lets us in when she’s afraid, but doesn’t always accept help. It’s the first time she’s sought out help like this. I can’t shake the feeling that she isn’t asking for help, she’s preparing to run.
For the rehearsal dinner, I light long white taper candles all over the dining room. We add two more tables to accommodate the whole family. Pepe keeps fiddling with his three-piece suit while Tony tries to speak Spanish to our great-aunt Victoria. Tony’s family is smaller than ours. He’s got a couple of cousins who’ll show up tomorrow, but that’s about it.
“Check this mix,” Yunior says. “I’ve been working on some stuff with my friends.”