I don’t have any pockets so I slide it into one of his. It’s a flimsy excuse to touch him, but no one seems to mind. “Hold it for me.”
“Sky,” Hayden says.
I drop a handful of white shells in the basket, and try to match the severity in his voice. “Hayden.”
He sighs. “I need to ask you something without coming off like a dick.”
My stomach fills with nervous knots. “Okay?”
“What’s with Enrique Iglesias back there?”
I laugh so hard that it feels like I’ve expelled a demon. “Oh my God, he does look like Enrique Iglesias.”
“It’s glaring.”
“He’s an old family friend. My mom’s got it in her head that we should date.” I should say, my mom’s got it in her head that we should get married in a huge church ceremony and have lots of babies that I can stay at home to raise.
“But you don’t?”
I look at his face to make sure he’s seriously asking me that. “Of course not!”
“I’m sorry,” he says. “You can do whatever you want. I obviously don’t own you. I just…don’t like the way he looks at you. Like you’re this prize instead of a person.”
“Aw, you’re jealous.”
“Fifty percent jealous, fifty percent indignant for you.”
I take Hayden’s hand and cross my fingers with his. When our palms touch, it’s like they were always meant to be touching, and even when I bend down to grab a shell he doesn’t let go.
“I appreciate it. But I don’t need another person worrying about what I’m doing.”
“It’s not that, sweet Sky.” He kisses my knuckles. “It’s that—oh, fuck it. I’m jealous. I am sixty-five percent jealous. I didn’t expect to be. I want to be Mr. Cool Guy, but when he kept grabbing you, all I wanted to do was rip off his slick head and toss it in the back of my truck.”
I laugh. “That’d be too messy. Besides, I’ve had eighteen years of taking care of myself.”
“You’d been getting hit on since you were five?”
“Oh yeah. Little Elijah Stintson. He used to stand at the bottom of the steps and look up girls’ skirts. After the parents complained, they made the girls wear slacks.”
“That’s one way to solve a problem. I don’t doubt that you can take care of yourself, Sky. But if he does become a problem, just know that you can come to me.”
I realize we’ve stopped walking. The basket is full of seashells in all colors and sizes. Down where we left Leti she’s joined by the boy who will always be known to me as Football Scholarship.
I’ve spent a lot of the summer walking around the beach, and it’s always felt lonely. Granted, I was more often than not literally alone. It was like the sound of the waves and the cry of the seagulls mimicked the sadness in my own heart.
Now, the waves crash and the birds flutter at a different rhythm, like my heart is changing.
“I really like you, Sky.”
“You don’t even know me.” I don’t let go of his hand.
“I know stuff,” he says indignantly. “I may not know what you were like in high school or the whole story about the guy who broke your heart. But I know that you love your family. That you’ve been working hard on this wedding when everyone else is treating it like a vacation. You pick up the slack because you know that no one else will. You don’t fall for cheap tricks and flashy smiles. Which I guess is good for me.”
I did fall for cheap tricks and a flashy smile. That was a very succinct way to sum up Bradley. But it wasn’t his car or his clothes or the restaurants he took me to. It was that he looked at me like I was the only one in the world.
And then it stopped.
“Where did you go?” Hayden traces his finger along my cheek.
“I’m here,” I assure him.
“Do you want to see the breakup bungalow?”
“Can you get in?”
“When he left, Mr. S. gave me the keys. He wants me to buy it from him, but it’s worth more than my own house.”
“You have a house?”
Hayden smiles. “It was the only thing my Nana ever had, and she left it to me. My dad was pretty pissed. I was eighteen and I didn’t have to work for it. Doesn’t mean I don’t work hard.”
“I know you do.” Then my face turns scarlet from admitting that I watch him work. Stop blushing, Sky. You’ve already kissed and felt each other up a little.
Still, Hayden is more than blush inducing. If I’m not careful, I might set myself on fire from how hot my body turns at his touch.
“Yeah.”
He takes me through an overgrown patch of grass. I can imagine what this would look like if it was taken care off. The bungalow is a rectangle box. The front is a huge window that faces the ocean. The door is out back. Hayden pulls out his key ring. There are a dozen silver and gold keys. I wonder how he keeps track of what opens what. Or maybe he doesn’t and tries each one at a time.
He grabs one from the middle and opens the door.
The house is cool, even though it bakes in the sun all day long. There’s a tiny kitchen. The counter holds a coffee machine and a bag of chips. How can a guy, with a body like that, survive on coffee and chips?
A small bed faces the window. Other than that and a side table with an old-fashioned green lamp, the house is bare. There are hooks and nails on the wall where pictures might have hung. It’s like they took everything that mattered and fled.
That’s what my apartment looked like after I tossed my things in the back of River’s car and hightailed it back to New York.
“It’s like a little hobbit house,” I say, running my hand on the counter.
“Isn’t it? Part of the appeal I think is to make you feel like a giant.”
I walk around the bed and stand in front of the glass window.
My brain is screaming:
bedbedbed.
My heart is screaming:
HaydenHaydenHayden.
“I don’t know,” I say. “This view is attraction enough. Do you stay here a lot?”
He nods. He’s on the other side of the bed. Too far, I think.
“My mom’s been living with me since the divorce.”
“Ah,” I say.
“I just want to give her space. Besides, I don’t think I help. I offered her this place, but the window scares her.”
“Staring at the ocean when you’re depressed is a huge no.”
“Any suggestions on how to help a divorced woman smile?”
I shake my head. “It happened to my mom, and I don’t think she’s smiled since. Not really.”
“I never want to be that way.”
“You can’t be.” I sit on the bed.
He sits down beside me. The sea breeze clings to his skin. His hair waves more at the top.
“Why are you smiling?” I ask him.
“I was just thinking that you look beautiful surrounded by the sea.”
I wish someone had told me a long time ago that boys like Hayden exist. Maybe I always knew. Maybe somewhere between Disney princes and broken hearts I forgot about this boy. This boy with his golden hair and brilliant blue eyes whose single touch makes me want to jump out of my skin and run for cover because I’m afraid of what it would mean if I stayed.
I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of being lonely. Most of all, I’m tired of being afraid. I excommunicated myself to the beach. It was the timeout I needed. But right now what I need more than that is to kiss Hayden Robertson again.
But he beats me to it.
His lips, salty and full, cover mine. He holds my face and pulls me to him. I close the distance by throwing myself on him and knocking us both to the bed. I don’t care if it’s desperate. I don’t care if it’s a dead giveaway of how much I’m attracted to him. I’ve decided that the best way to deal with my feelings for Hayden is to act on them.
He laughs softly against my lips. I can feel the vibration of his laugh across my body.
“I’m glad your reaction wasn’t to run away.”
I silence him with a kiss. No thinking. Just kissing. That should be everyone’s life motto. If it were, there would be fewer problems in the world. Or maybe more, who knows.
I straddle him. The bed is plush and molds to my knees. His hands pull at the hem of my dress, raking his nails along my thighs. He stops to cup my ass and squeeze.
His penis throbs against his jeans.
“Oh, God,” he says.
Thank you, Pilates.
I press quick kisses on his mouth. I have a desperate urge to touch all of him at once. So I do. I kiss his neck. I trail kisses down his chest, licking my way down to his abs. Oh, dear, God. His abs. They should be a monument. They should be hologrammed against the sky. They should never ever be hidden by clothes ever again.
I undo his button.
I hold the tip of his zipper.
Hayden grunts, and it is so sexy that my panties are soaked right through.
He takes my hands and stops me. He sits up and flips me on my back so quickly I bounce a couple of times.
“Sky,” he says. “Sweet Sky.”
He presses his hands against my knees and pushes my legs apart. It’s the most demanding he’s ever been with me. My heart races. I sit up on my elbows to watch him.
He kisses each knee, then presses a wet kiss on the inside of my thigh. He licks a circle and sucks the skin. A thrill runs up and down my body, concentrating in my center. I’m sure I’m going to have a hickey there and I really don’t care if I do.
I can’t remember if I shaved this morning. But suddenly Hayden does something so delicious, it makes me forget everything else.
He scoops his arms under my legs. I secure them over his shoulders. He looks up at me with those gorgeous blue eyes. And then he kisses me. He presses his lips between my legs, against the wet fabric of my thong.
One, two, three kisses that send sparks on my skin.
I moan and grab hold of his hair. He smiles in response, pleased with himself. He knows that it’s driving me crazy. He knows that I want more.
Hayden pushes my thong to the side. His breath is cool against my heat. He teases a lick on my clit. When he presses his mouth against me, my body goes up in delicious flames.
Leti was right, it’s been a while since anyone’s touched me this way. But it’s been even longer since a guy has gone down on me like Hayden. Like he wants to be there. Like he’s savoring my wetness. Like he wants to feel my insides tighten for him.
I answer all of Hayden’s licks with a moan. When he alternates between licking and sucking, I lift my pelvis up right against his face. He grabs my ass and pulls me closer still. My thighs pulse to the rapid beat of my heart. I arch my back. I pull at his hair. I want to get lost in the moment of Hayden and the sea and sky that surrounds us.
When I come, it’s like a wave crashing over me. It’s raw and intense and keeps rushing through me until there’s nothing left of me to give and I collapse on the bed.
Hayden kisses the tingling skin on my hips. He sits up on his knees. He licks his lips. Stares at me as if he’ll devour me again. And I want him to.
I push my dress back down. I beckon him with my index finger. He lies back and pulls me into the nook. I press my hand on his chest. His heart beats faster than mine.
I throw a leg over him, and push myself up to kiss him. I can taste myself on him.
“You’re incredible,” he tells me.
Whatever I’m about to say is lost as I scream. I jump out of the bed so quickly that I fall off. Hayden reaches out and grabs me just before I go over the side.
Leti bangs on the window of the bungalow.
Hayden laughs.
“Oh, God. What if they saw?” I hiss.
“Not a chance. We can see them, they can’t see us. I would never put you in that position, Sky. Not when there are so many other positions I’d rather have you in.”
He kisses me, hard and deep. I know he’s still aroused.
“I know you guys are in there!” Leti shouts.
Hayden collapses on top of me. He chuckles. “You should go out first. I need a minute.”
I kiss him. “Okay. But just a minute.”
Hayden adjusts himself on the ride back to the house. Gary and Leti ended up collecting more seashells than we did. He promises to see Leti that night and goes off in his own car. I know that if I return home without her, we’ll both never hear the end of it.
“So,” Leti says in the car, “did Sky ask you to the wedding yet?”
I turn in my seat and smack her.
Hayden laughs. “Be careful now, ladies. I’m having a hard enough time focusing on the road.”
Leti bursts into a giddy laugh. “Gary already said yes. I think River will eventually get around to asking Sgt. Pepper. That just leaves the maid of honor.”
Hayden makes the turn to our house. When we’re on the right side of the lane he turns his gaze back to me.
“I’m sure if and when Sky wants to take me to the wedding, she will ask me. No pressure though. My tux from Jake and Suzy’s wedding still fits.”
But when we get to the house and Xandro’s car is still in the driveway, Hayden’s beautiful smile falls.
Leti gets out of the car first and takes the seashells with her. I unbuckle my seatbelt and turn to him, readying myself for a goodbye kiss.
“Thanks for today.”
He nods. “No need to thank me.”
I should tell him that today was amazing, that I haven’t felt that way in so long. But all he does is glare at Xandro’s car.
“Where did you go, Hayden?” I try to use his words back on him. I trace my finger along his jaw. Turn his face so he sees only me.
Whatever it is, he doesn’t want to say.
“Do you want to go to the beach tomorrow?” I ask.
“I’ll be here actually,” he says. “Gazebo time.”
“Then I’ll wait. We can get dinner or something.”
It’s like something switched in his brain between our blissful moments on the beach and now.
“Maybe, Sky. I just—” He looks down at his lap, at Xandro’s car, at me. “That guy’s still in your house.”
“Hayden, it’s not my house. I have no control of who my family invites over.”
“Look, I’ve been in this situation before, and in the end, I’m the one who loses.”
“What are you losing, Hayden? There’s nothing to lose. Xandro is just—” I hesitate.
“He’s the guy your mother would rather see you with. I’m the guy who put a hole in your uncle’s roof.”
It hurts to hear those words coming from him. Hayden is beautiful from the inside out and I want everyone to see that.