Love Obsessed (6 page)

I turn to face in the direction he’s moving toward. “My hands wouldn’t be sleazy on Erin!” I yell back. He keeps on walking, slamming his bedroom door behind him.

“Talk about drama,” Ryan pitches in.

“Shut up,” I snap.

***

Knowing that Erin was going a date had stung, but learning that she had already had that date, and had spent the night with him sucks. I’m miserable, and she’s out hooking up. I fucking hurt. There is no simpler way of putting it. I want to be everything for her, and she doesn’t want me, and that fucking hurts.

Erin

“You understand that we can only be colleagues at work,” Jake says quietly into my ear. We’re lying in his bed, and he’s playing with a piece of my hair that fell out from my bun.

“I know. We need to keep it professional.”

“It’s going to be so hard.”

“We’ll still see each other.”

Jake rolls on top of me, “I won’t be able to touch you. Seeing you but not touching you...” He shakes his head, leaning down to kiss my lips.

“We still have some time before I need to leave.”

“Stay the night.” He kisses my neck.

“Ok, I don’t have any clothes, though.”

“You won’t be needing them.”

***

Jake was right; seeing each other, but not being able to touch each other, is torture. I’ve seen him watching me, and I admit, my eyes have lingered on him at times too, the memory of my weekend spent with him on replay in my head; the sight of his bare body, the feeling of his stubble against my skin as he kissed my body. I didn’t see Brandon this morning when I went home to get dressed. I texted him, letting him know that I had been home and that I had missed him. He sent back one word, ‘ok’.

I’m in the kitchen at home, cooking dinner, when Brandon barges into the apartment. “Hey,” I offer when I see him enter. He just looks at me for a moment before he walks off to his room. I stand here in the kitchen, stunned, feeling lost and confused.

“Brandon?” I enter his room and see him sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands covering his face. “Brandon,” I whisper again, eyeing him cautiously. I’ve never seen him like this. I just watch him, tears glistening in my eyes, at a loss on what to do. He’s always been so confident and head strong, but now it feels like he’s hiding from me.

“Yeah,” he says, lowering his hands and still not making eye contact with me. He looks defeated.

“I....” I take a deep breath, “What’s wrong?” He’s breathing heavy and I don’t know whether I should go sit by him, or stay where I am.

“If I ask you not to do what you did last weekend again, would you hate me?” he asks quietly, still not looking at me.

“What part?”

He looks at me now, stating, “All of it.”

I sag against the door, my eyes closed. When I open them again, Brandon is standing a foot in front of me. “You disappeared with a stranger. I had no idea where you were, and you wouldn’t let me meet him. Why wouldn’t you let me meet him?”

“I like him.”

He leans toward me, one hand on either side of me, and his forehead resting on mine. “You don’t know him.”

“I want to get to know him, and I’m afraid that you’ll scare him away. I know you mean well, and I love you because of it, but Brandon, I need to find myself away from your big, brotherly protection.”

“I’m not ready to let you go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“You changed my life, Erin. When I saw you in that bar, you changed something in me. I needed you more than you needed me. You gave me something to care about, someone to love. I will never stop looking out for you.”

“I don’t want you to stop. Just trust me enough to let me make this decision on my own, and be there when it fails and I need to be picked up.”

He places a hand on the side of my face, his thumb running over my cheek. “Always, baby.”

Cole

“To Erin,” I toast, raising my shot glass filled to the brim with bourbon towards Brandon, “and to us poor losers of whom she decided were not good enough for her.” I down my glass, and Brandon looks at me like he’s going to rip my head off. He would have, too, if Ryan wasn’t sitting at the table with us. That’s the only reason that I’m here with him. Ryan suggested that we all go out and have a few drinks, so I decided that since he’s paying, I’m getting drunk.

“Ease up, Cole. No shit tonight,” Ryan states, looking deadly serious about his warning. I shrug and down another, then take a swig of my beer.

“He’s right,” Brandon starts, “no one’s good enough for Erin. Not me, not you, and definitely not Jake.” He says his name like a bad taste on his tongue. I can taste it, too.

“So what was your master plan, Brandon, dear saviour of Erin.” I wait for his answer, but he just continues to stare death at me.

“Cole,” Ryan warns.

“No, Ryan. I want to know what his plan was. Were you just going to keep her locked up in the apartment for the rest of your lives? Were you going to let her have a family, because she wants one, or would you have given her a family? Because I would have if you hadn’t have interfered. I was so close to having her, and then you fucked it all up for me and ripped her away.”

Brandon moves toward me, but Ryan steps in front of him, stopping his advance. “Sit back down, Brandon.”

“Do you love her, too?” he asks Ryan.

“Sit back...” he starts again, but Brandon interrupts him.

“Do you love her too!?” he asks again, louder than necessary.

“Yes,” he replies, more quietly than Brandon had asked the question.

“What?” I ask, stunned. He never showed anything but brotherly affection toward her.

“It was a long time ago. Erin is special. There is no debating that, but it’s clear that Brandon won’t accept any of us with her, and secondly, Erin doesn’t want anything from any of us, except for us to be her brothers, and that is what we are going to do. We are her family, and we will remain that way.”

“You’re wrong, Ryan. Erin wanted more from me. She told me herself. She loves me, and Brandon fucked it up.”

“She loves everyone,” Brandon grates out.

“She loved me more.”

***

I thought that a run would do me some good this morning. Boy was I wrong. I’m running through the park when I see her. She’s in her running gear; short shorts, crop top, beanie on her head. I stop and watch her, and then I see him and I see red. He pulls on her pig tails, she smiles up at him, and then he kisses her. His hands are on her body, on her skin. She looks so happy. That’s all I wanted for her, to be happy, but with me. I turn back and run home.

“What happened to your hands?” Dad asks as I sit down at the conference table, getting ready for the next meeting of the day. I look down at them, give them a squeeze, and wince at the pain.

“Nothing,” I mumble. If I tell him that I punched holes in my wall until I couldn’t take the pain anymore, he’ll ask why, and I really don’t want to relive my morning encounter.

“Put some ice on them, they look sore,” he continues.

“Sure,” I mumble again, like ice can take my pain away.

Erin

I’m walking to the library, when my arm is grabbed and I’m pulled into a room on the side of the building that I was walking away from. Then lips are on me.

“God, I miss your lips. I can’t stop thinking about them. It’s so hard being here with you, and not touching you like this,” Jake says into my skin.

“You know that we can get fired for this.”

“Only if we get caught.”

“Jake,” I moan. “Jake, stop before I can’t.”

He continues to kiss me. “Erin,” he groans, “stay with me tonight.”

“Absolutely.”

That’s what it is like, stealing glances and touches while we’re at work, an accidental arm graze here, a knowing smile there, and every now and then a stolen kiss in an empty office or room. We don’t spend every night together, but we do stay together a few nights a week, always at his place. I explained to Jake that Brandon is protective, and I’m not ready for them to meet yet. He was understanding, and said that he likes having me to himself anyway.

I still think of Cole regularly. It hurts, knowing that I most likely am never going to see or talk to him again. I hope that he is alright. Brandon never talks about him to me, nor Mum or Dad. I haven’t really spoken to them since I told Cole to stop that night on the phone. My heart aches at the thought of losing a family, but I can’t hide the fact that I’m the one who has ripped the family apart.

Brandon and Cole won’t be in the same room together. Brandon keeps me away from anything that Cole is involved in, like Sunday lunch at Mum and Dad’s. We talk on the phone, but I haven’t been there for a few weeks. I hope that the boys can sort their problems out if I’m taken out of the equation.

***

“He’s a teacher at your school,” Brandon whispers as I enter my bedroom. He’s standing in the middle of my room, looking very angry. I stop and stare. I knew he wouldn’t be happy with me when he found out.

“A colleague,” he’s deceptively calm. “Do you know how stupid that is, Erin? If you get caught, it’ll be you who loses your job. Not him. You. This I why I didn’t let you date, why I didn’t want you to. You ran to the first guy who smiled at you. This, Erin, is why you should listen to me, very closely.” He’s looking directly into my eyes, “Break up with him. You’ve only been going out a few weeks, so it shouldn’t be that hard a task. Then things can go back to the way they were, and you will have a secure job and a career to work on.”

I hold my tears back. He’s making me choose again. “You said that you’d let me make my own decision about this.”

“That was before I found out that he was your colleague!” Brandon’s anger is coming to the surface now.

“You said....”

“I take it back.” I look at him as to say ‘are you serious?’ “Break up with him, Erin. I mean it.”

“No,” I whisper. “I won’t.”

He stands up straighter, “Fine, but when this ends, and it will, you’ll lose more than just a boyfriend. You’ll lose your job, and something like this doesn’t just go away. It follows you and your career around for years. I’ll be here to pick you up, but I won’t be able fix your career. You’re making a huge mistake with him. You’re risking too much,” and he leaves the room, leaving me alone and feeling uncertain on what his motives are. Brandon has said it himself; he doesn’t want me to date, yet he doesn’t see me in any way more than a sister.

***

“So, just to be clear, you and Brandon are purely platonic right?” I stare up at Beth, her cheesy smile looking down at me. Jake is sitting at his desk, head turned toward our conversation, but not looking in our direction. Where is she going with this?

“Yeah, he’s my brother,” I inform her, watching her carefully.

“Good,” she jumps up from the side of my desk. “That’s good. Otherwise, it would have been awkward today.”

I frown at her, “What are you talking about, Beth?”

“Brandon and I ran into each other the other night. We got talking, and well, one thing led to another,” my stomach drops. “There’s something there, a connection, so we’re going to see where it leads us, together.” Her eyes flick across to Jake, and then back to me. She knows; she is the one who told Brandon who Jake is.

“Good for you, Beth,” I fake happiness. “It’s about time Brandon went and found a girl he could settle down with. I’ve always told him he sleeps around too much.”

She smiles a coy smile, “Just not with you.”

“Incest is against the law, and the fact that you would suggest such a thing is sick and perverted.” I get up from my desk and leave her shocked expression behind.

Cole

I see her marching into the office, and she’s pissed. That’s the only way to describe how she looks at the moment. She’s on a mission and marches straight into Brandon’s office. I get up and walk over to the door, listening. “You promised me, Brandon. You promised!” She is mad.

“That was before I found out that you’re seeing someone you work with.” He sounds angry, too.

“It’s my decision to make!” she yells.

“It’s the wrong one!”

“Every decision I make is wrong, according to you. If it was up to you, you would keep me locked away from the world!”

“Yes, I would. You know why! Because I love you, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“You’re hurting me, Brandon. No one else, but you.” I hear the tears in her voice.

The office goes silent. Erin comes out, eyes red, and storms out of the office. I don’t even know if she saw me standing here. Chancing a look into Brandon’s office, I see him sitting in his chair, slummed forward, head down, and hands clasped together on the desk. He reaches up and rubs his face.

“Close the door, Cole.” He doesn’t even look my way. I close the door and go after Erin. I don’t see her, and I’m scared that I’ve missed her, when I spot her by her car.

“Erin,” I quietly say behind her. She wipes her tears away, looks up at me and rolls her eyes.

“Come to kick me while I’m down?”