Read Love Notes (Rocked by Love #1) Online
Authors: Susan Scott Shelley
Footsteps pounded the pavement.
Zander stood in front of her, seething. "You quit?"
"I had to do it.
Luke is too much of a live wire around me."
"Screw him. I need
you."
"What happens on
your next tour, or when you're back in town next month? Luke hates me. He'll
tear you guys apart to prove it and I refuse to be the reason the band beaks
up. You've worked so hard for so long. I won't do anything to hurt your
success."
"None of that
matters."
"Of course it
matters. The band has always come first. It has to."
"Things
change."
"Those guys have
been part of your life a lot longer than I have. You have a responsibility to
them, too."
"Bullshit."
She loved Zander, but she
needed to be clear. "This thing with you and me—it can't work."
"So we're done? Just
like that?" He turned and kicked a soda can clear across the street. It
landed with a clatter.
She blinked hard, but the
tears spilled down her cheeks. "You'll have a group of women waiting
outside for you after tonight's show. You don't need me."
"You really fucking
believe I can replace you?" He stared at her.
Her stomach churned.
"Please. I don't know how to make this easy. On either of us."
"It's not easy. And
you're wrong if you think I'm getting the hell out of your way."
"I don't want to
break up the band. I won't have that hanging over me."
"But you'll walk out
on what we have. You don't mind that hanging over you?"
Her heart broke at his
words. He had no idea how badly she ached. "I'm doing this for you."
"Then stay. You
staying with me is for my good. If you walk away, it'll wreck me."
"Not as much as
staying and watching you and Luke ripping each other apart will wreck me.
You've been friends for fifteen years. You've known me for two months."
"I'm in love with
you."
Breath locked in her
lungs. "What?"
He moved closer.
"I'm in love with you."
Rational arguments
slipped out of her head. He loved her.
"You mean more to me
than anything. If I have to choose between you and my band, I'm choosing
you."
"You can't."
"I'd rather walk
away from them than lose you."
"Walking away isn't
the answer. They need you. Dalton needs you. The community center needs you. As
The Fury you guys do so much good for so many people. And you guys need each
other. You can't lose all of that because of me. I won't let you choose me over
them."
His phone vibrated. She
glanced at her watch. "You're supposed to be on stage now."
"Fuck that. They can
wait."
A cab pulled up to the
curb. Clasping her heart pendant, she ducked around Zander. "If you really
do love me, you'll get on that stage and make your fans happy."
He followed her.
"Wait."
She climbed inside the
car. If this was it, he might as well know the truth. "For what it's
worth, I love you too."
She loved him too. Zander grabbed
hold of the cab door. "We're not done."
A car behind them honked.
The cabbie glanced over his shoulder. "Hey man, are you getting in or not?
If not, you gotta get away from my door."
"Fine. Jayne, I'll
come by tonight after the show."
"No. You can't.
Staying apart is what's best for both of us." She closed the door and the
cab zoomed onto the street.
The skies opened. Rain
fell in large splotches. The sidewalks emptied as people hurried for cover. He
stood staring at the cab as it grew smaller and smaller, a yellow dot
disappearing into the horizon, leaving him in a world of cold and gray.
Luke was the reason. As
the rain cooled his skin, rage heated his muscles, poking the fire, unleashing
the beast.
This ended now.
Stalking through the
halls, he made his way to the stage. His sister stood in his place, gripping
his guitar. He held out his hand. "Give me that before you hurt
someone."
Irisa handed it over.
"Are you all right?"
He strapped on the
guitar. "No. But I'll play. You'd better go. This place is about to
explode."
They opened with
"Temperature Rising", then rolled into "Cut Down". While
Luke talked to the crowd, Zander kept to his side of the stage. Anger simmered
and he replayed the conversation with Jayne over and over. Her tear-stained
face, the quaver in her voice, the gut-punching words. He wasn't going to lose
her just because his band mate was an asshole.
He played the opening
riff of "My Fist, Your Face." The heavy, volatile song, matched his
mood perfectly. Zander moved closer to the fans, ready for his guitar solo that
followed the last chorus. But instead of backing away from the front of the
stage when the solo began, Luke kept singing, improvising lyrics and stealing
the spotlight. His fuck-you glare when he met Zander's gaze set off the spark
waiting to ignite.
Zander kicked him and glared,
playing even faster. Luke's fist slammed into his shoulder and the asshole kept
singing. Zander swung his guitar behind him and then shoved at Luke's chest
with both hands. The singer stumbled backward a few steps. Damn, that felt
good. The drum beat and Landry's guitar fell silent.
"What's with you?
Have a fight with your girlfriend?" Eyes flashing blue fire, Luke lunged
at Zander with a punch.
He ducked and countered
with his own. "Fuck you. She left me because of you, asshole."
The drums resumed, and
fueled Zander's punches with a rapid-fire melody.
Hands pulled on his
shoulder, separating him from Luke. Landry shoved in between them. "What
the fuck, guys? Stop. You're not doing this now."
Breathing hard, Zander
glanced at the bass player, then at Luke, and finally at the crowd. He'd never
lost control on stage. But then again, he'd never lost anything as important as
Jayne.
Landry pushed Luke toward
the left side of the stage, then pointed Zander to the right side. "Stay
the hell away from each other until the show's over."
He grabbed the mic and
said something that made the crowd cheer. Zander couldn't make out the words
over the blood rushing in his head. He slipped his guitar strap over his head
and launched into the next song.
Landry stayed in the
middle of the stage for the rest of the show. Whenever he turned toward Zander,
he shook his head—disapproving, angry, and ready to fight.
As soon as the show
ended, Zander grabbed hold of Luke's shoulder. "Right now. You and me. The
dressing room."
Luke shoved away.
"Fine."
Zander looked over his
shoulder at Irisa, Landry, Brendan, and the crew. "No one else comes
in."
He followed Luke and then
slammed the door at his back. "What the fuck is your problem with
Jayne?"
"Forget it."
"No. She
left
me because of you. She said she wouldn't stay and be the reason the band breaks
up. She wouldn't let me choose her over you because she thinks our friendship
means too much to me. But you know something? It doesn't.
Nothing
means
more to me than her. So you'll answer my fucking question or we're done as of
right now and the band can be fucking finished too. I don't care anymore. So,
I'll ask again, what is your problem? Why do you care if I'm in love with
Jayne? Do you want her? Is that it?"
"Fuck. No."
Luke paced the room like a caged tiger. Restless and ready to pounce.
"It's Audrey."
Zander frowned, searching
his brain until the name clicked. The clothing designer who'd helped out on
their last few East Coast tours. He'd suspected something brewing between Luke
and Audrey, but when the band left New York, Luke hadn't mentioned her again.
"That still doesn't explain why you've been a class-A dick to Jayne."
"She doesn't look a
damn thing like Audrey, but the way she talks and moves is the same. And that
gold pendant she was wearing every day is one of Audrey's designs. Every time
she touched it, it hurt me. And the way she sneaks looks at you—like Audrey
used to do at me. Being around her is hard. I couldn't deal so I'd leave, but
if I couldn't get away, then I sent her on errands to keep her away from me. I
guess I hoped she'd get tired of it and quit."
"Are you fucking
serious?"
"I'm not proud of
it, but yeah."
Rage fired his blood. How
could Luke be so self-absorbed? And so damn mean? He'd lost Jayne all because
Luke was acting like nothing more than a teenager. Well, they were through. His
whole life trashed. He grabbed his guitar by the neck and swung it over his
head.
An unexpected force
caught and prevented him from slamming it into the concrete floor. He tugged
again, but it was yanked out of his hands. He whirled around.
Luke held the blue Gibson
in a protective hug. "You can't break this, man."
"Why? Does the band
really matter to you?"
"Of course it
does."
Seething, he shoved a
chair out of the way. "I should rip your fucking head off. Do you know
what you put Jayne through?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry. I
was being an asshole. I wasn't thinking clearly." Voice calmer, he paused
and for the first time, Zander saw the pain in his eyes. And actual contrition.
"She's engaged now, you know. Audrey, I mean."
"Is she?"
Luke nodded. "To
some New York suit. Found out about that today. Found out she was seeing him
the same day we met Jayne."
"The day you were
arrested. Damn it. You should've said something when we hired her."
"What the fuck was I
supposed to do? Cry and talk about my
feelings
?" He snarled the
word, lip curling as though he'd tasted something sour.
"Maybe if you'd
talked more about them, Audrey wouldn't be engaged to that suit."
Expecting the punch, Zander braced and then countered with his own hold.
"And, Jayne wouldn't have had the worst experience of her life."
Luke slowly shook his
head and backed away. "I know I fucked up."
"You better sort out
your shit over Audrey because I'm not letting Jayne go. If you can't, then this
tour is it for me and The Fury can find another guitarist. Or, I really will
kick you the hell out of the band." And the blue guitar would no longer
matter.
"Understood."
Luke rubbed his forehead. A stab of sympathy welled in Zander's chest. They'd
been friends for years, as close as brothers. He'd never seen Luke like this.
The door slammed open and
Brendan and Landry pushed their way into the room. Brendan spoke first.
"In case you forgot, we're part of this band, too. No one makes decisions
about kicking people out without all the band weighing in, but as far as I'm
concerned, both of you are on notice."
Landry nodded. "I'm
getting really tired of the drama. This has been going on the entire tour. Your
shoving match on stage tonight was the last straw."
"We're all a little
burned out," Brendan added, "but you don't see Landry and me running
our mouths or getting into fights."
"You will be in one
if you throw one more goddamn gummy bear. This isn't just on Zander and
me." Luke aligned himself by Zander's side.
Landry jumped to
Brendan's defense. Battle lines were drawn, new grievances aired, and long-dead
issues revived. The dressing room seemed small with all of their voices. Anger
and frustration ran hot in Zander's blood, tempered only by guilt when a remark
rang true. His band was a bleeding wound and he didn't have a clue how to
stitch it back together.
"Stop!" The
word exploded out of his sister.
They all turned toward
her, the silence glaringly loud amid the pulsing emotions and absence of heated
words.
Irisa stood in the middle
of the room, hands clasped to her chest in entreaty. "Just stop. This
isn't helping. You're friends. Remember that before you say anything
else."
Her pale face and wounded
eyes cut through his frustration at his band mates. "What's going on? You
look like you're about to fall over." Now that he knew about the antacids,
he couldn't stop worrying about her. He covered the distance between them in
quick strides.
"I just spoke with
Oliver. Excite is demanding that I resign as your manager, effective
immediately."
"What?"
"They've put a lot
of money into you, and given recent events, they feel that I'm incapable of
keeping things together." She glanced at each of them. "And after
what I witnessed tonight, they're right."
"Screw them. You're
my sister. They can't make you quit." The familiar burn of anger tingled
in his blood. Oliver was an asshole.
Her shoulders sagged.
"If I don't resign, they're going to pull you guys off the tour."
Pulled off? The notion
was insane. He shook his head. "They wouldn't kick us off."
"Is it so hard to
believe? Not to me. Not after all that's happened since before it began. The
arrest, the bar fight, Luke quitting, Luke and Zander's behavior during the
interview, the disaster at the bar, the mess with Jayne, and now a fistfight on
stage." She ticked off each instance on her fingers. "I've failed at
keeping things calm. Maybe you do need someone else."
"No way. I lost
Jayne today. I'm not losing you, too."
"The alternative is
getting pulled from the tour. You don't want that. I don't want that."
"It's always been
family-first with us, right? That's not changing now." He spoke the words
he'd thought his sister wanted to hear and exchanged glances with each of the
guys. They were like brothers to him. He missed the closeness, the support, the
us-against-the-world bond they'd shared before ego and exhaustion had taken
hold. "Maybe we lost focus of that."
For a long moment, no one
moved or offered any encouragement. Maybe they were too broken to mend. The
thought gutted him as much as losing Jayne had.
Brendan moved first. He
and Landry had every right to want to walk away. Instead, he met Irisa's gaze.
"We wouldn't be the same without you. The band needs you, Irisa." The
tentative smile aimed at Zander spoke volumes. "The band needs all of
us."
Relieved, Zander clapped
him on the back. "Thanks, man."
Hands tucked in his back
pockets, Landry strolled over and stood next to Brendan. "No one else
would fit." His comment seemed to be addressed both to Irisa and to
Zander. Hopefully, he meant it.
Two down, one to go.
Zander looked at Luke. Resentment still festered over what happened with Jayne.
If Luke joined them, things would have to change because Zander was determined
to win her back. But right now, he needed everyone on board to back up his
sister.
The ever-present scowl
finally missing, Luke joined them. He touched Irisa's shoulder. "You're as
much a part of this band as we are."
The breath he'd been
holding released. It wasn't too late, they still had a shot. For the first time
in a long time hope enveloped him like a balm.
Irisa's gaze jumped
between the guys. "You've been at each other's throats, but my problem
makes you all come together?"
Zander rested his hand on
Luke's shoulder, then nodded toward Brendan and Landry. "We cleared the
air on a few things while you were on the phone."
"I walked in on the
tail end of that conversation, remember? It wasn't friendly."
"No. Before
that…" He raised his eyebrows at Luke. He hated to make the guy relive his
pain, but no way would he be the one to share Luke's story.
The singer nodded.
"What happened with Seth was a wake-up call. He went in the back room, and
I was so ticked off and caught up in the interview I didn't realize he never
came out. I lost focus and blame myself for him ending up in the hospital. I've
already apologized to Griffin and his band, and to these guys, but I need to
apologize to you. I've been an asshole for a while. I'm sorry."