Love My Enemy (17 page)

'No!'

'But—'

'Is he here? In the hospital?'

'He went home a couple of hours ago. He's had a
beating but they didn't touch him with the knife.'

'I don't want him coming near me, Mum.'

'But he's worried sick, he's coming back this
afternoon.'

'Not like this – no!'

Her mother looked flustered. 'Look, can I get you
anything?' she asked. 'A drink, perhaps?'

'There is one thing.'

'
Anything
.'

'A mirror.'

She saw her mother swallow hard. Emotion swelled
Sue's face and her eyes glistened.

'No, love,' she whispered.

'But you said anything, you promised me.'

'There'll be plenty of time later.'

'I want one now.'

'
No
.'

'It's my face –
mine
. I want to
see
it. Let me see!' She
was crying again, but with fury this time.

Her mother had rushed to the door. 'Nurse, nurse!
She's getting upset.'

Zee knew that she was shouting, she knew she should
stop, but part of her just didn't want to.

'What's all this?' demanded a nurse with sledgehammer
arms.

'I want a mirror!'

'Don't be silly, dear. Calm down.'

Silly? That made Zee wilder still. She started
thrashing about even though it made her face hurt. There
was a bit of a tussle, some shouting, mostly from her,
then an undignified pinprick in the bum. As if being
knifed wasn't enough, now they were sticking needles in
her. Zee glimpsed darkness beyond the window then it
came swirling quickly in and swallowed her up
completely.

Gary's dad had always told him not to believe in TV cops
but of course he had. Car chases with flashing lights and
screaming sirens, villains spread-eagled against walls,
stark interview rooms featuring Detectives Nasty and
Nice. Why else would anyone join the police force for
heaven's sake?

But maybe, Gary thought now, maybe his dad had been
right because so far things had been okay. The room they
were in had a bubbling coffee machine, a big leafy plant
and pictures on the walls. Earlier, this Sergeant Carson had
rung the hospital for him and told him that Zee was out of
danger. He'd even produced coffee and a sandwich.
Weirdest of all, the Sergeant seemed to be saying that he
wasn't to blame.

'But I am,' said Gary impatiently, 'I've explained it.
What happened to Zee was
my
fault too.'

'Mrs Gordon says differently.'

Gary blinked in surprise. 'Mrs G? Is she here?'

'She was last night. She turned her boy in. Des came
clean eventually and confessed to everything.'

Gary could hardly believe it. So Mrs G had overheard
them talking last night after all. She had not wanted him
to tear Des limb from limb, but she had recognised the
truth all right.

'I can't believe she'd grass up her own flesh and
blood,' he muttered.

'If more people informed then peace would stand a
better chance,' said the Sergeant crisply. 'The real thugs
would be caught, there'd be fewer punishment beatings.
Maybe your sister wouldn't be lying in hospital right
now with her face slashed.'

Gary couldn't look him in the eyes.

'Is there anything you want to tell me, Gary?'

'No.' His voice sounded unconvincingly small.
Sergeant Carson didn't say a word. He was waiting for
Gary to change his mind. 'No,' Gary repeated, too
loudly this time.

'Right then, let's talk about your mate, Des.'

'Some mate.'

'What did Jack think of Des?'

'Jack, my dad?' Gary was astonished. 'Did you know
my dad?'

'Certainly I did, we trained together. He was a good
bloke. I can't think Jack would have wanted you and
Des to be best mates.'

'We weren't always. Dad felt sorry for Des though –
not having a dad of his own. He used to invite him out
with us sometimes – to the cinema, McDonald's, places
like that.'

'Go on.'

'When Dad died – got murdered – Des stuck by me.
Some of me other mates didn't know where to look, what
to say. Some of them went outa their way to avoid me, but
Des was never like that. He hated those murderers just as
much as I did. He seemed to know how I felt.'

'Oh?'

'Dad was the best,' said Gary, 'the
very
best and Des
thought so too.'

'How d'you mean, Gary?'

'Once, when Dad was giving us a lift, he got called to
this robbery. He pulled out his gun, went in, and arrested
two men – just like that!' Gary clicked his fingers
decisively. 'Des hero-worshipped him after that.'

Sergeant Carson cleared his throat. 'Des's own dad
was a toe-rag, you know.'

'So?'

'He walked out of Des's life and never once looked
back. Hasn't sent him as much as a birthday card since.'

'What are you saying, Sergeant Carson?'

'How do you think Des feels about you, Gary?'

'I don't know. You mean . . . he's jealous?'

'Of course he's jealous. And not just of your dad.
There are other things too – like your reputation with the
girls. Des said as much last night, whereas he . . . '

'. . . Can't get a girl interested,' finished Gary.
Suddenly it all made some sort of sense. 'Then my sister
tells him to get lost and . . . '

'It was more than Des's pride could take. He saw his
chance to be top man for once and he took it.'

'He's sick!' shouted Gary. 'How could slashing Zee's
face make Des top man?'

'He claims the violence got out of hand, says he only
intended Zee to get a slap. He wanted to scare her, bring
her to heel.'

'I'll kill him!' vowed Gary. Seized by anger he
banged the table with his fist. 'I swear I'll
kill
him.'

'What good will that do?' said the Sergeant sharply.
'The law will deal with Des now. He'll go to a young
offender institute.'

Gary raked his hands through his hair and tried to
calm himself. It didn't seem right to ask the next
question but he had to know the answer. 'What about
me, Sergeant Carson? What's going to happen to me?'

'You paid no one, Gary, stole nothing, made none of
the arrangements. Des would have gone ahead with or
without you. It was just easier to string you along, and a
bit of a power trip for Des.'

It took a moment for this to hit home. 'You mean . . .
I'm free to go?'

'We'd rather you stayed – to help us with our
enquiries.'

The phrase echoed round Gary's head. He'd heard it so
many time on telly but now it was for real. A thin sweat
broke out on his top lip, he knew it must be glistening. 'I
can't help you,' he blurted out. 'I know nothing.'

The Sergeant stared at him, just stared, then he said,
'I don't believe you. I thought you'd want to help your
sister, Gary.'

'Of course I do. If I could turn back the clock, don't
you think I would?'

'You can't. But there is one thing you can do to help
her.' He looked Gary grimly in the eyes. 'Des wouldn't
tell us the names of the men who attacked Zee – he's too
frightened for his own features. But we need their
names, Gary, and you know them.'

Gary shook his head fiercely. 'I don't!'

Sweat started oozing out all over him, like suds
squeezed from a scouring pad. Not names, he wanted to
shout, anything but names. He tried to find his voice
again but it was stuck somewhere deep down inside him.
All he could do was stare at his own hands which were
damp and twisting and seemed to have taken on a life of
their own.

'Zee could meet those two any day,' said the Sergeant,
'just walking around town. Do you want that to happen
to her?'

Gary's eyes closed at the very thought of it.

'Think what your help here would mean to her. Think
what it would mean to your mother. Don't you think
they've been through enough?'

Gary's heart started beating hard, louder and louder,
faster and faster, like a train screaming through a tunnel.

'I can't!' he shouted. 'You
know
what they do to
grassers – they torture them – they cut bits off them!
Then
they kill them.'

'These two fellas will be in prison quite a time, Gary.'

'But their mates won't.
And
they will get released one
day. Hell, if there's another amnesty, maybe next week!'

Sergeant Carson leaned so close that Gary could see
the plaque on his teeth. 'Your dad was really proud of
you,' he said softly. 'If he could see you now. . . and Jack
was such a brave man too.'

Tears rocketed into Gary's eyes. They shocked him,
took him completely by surprise. He buried his face in
his hands but there was nowhere to hide in this tiny
room, and the policeman just kept on staring.

'You've got a choice, Gary,' he said at last. 'A chance.
You can put yourself first and let everyone down – again
– or you can do what's right. You can make a difference
here, son. Which is it going to be?'

The rattle of a lunch trolley woke Zee. Mince and tatties
by the smell of it. Her mum was dozing in the chair
again but she jerked awake the moment Zee sat up.

'Do I look as bad as you do?' asked Zee.

'Probably not.' She groaned, stretched, and pushed
her straggling pepper and salt hair off her face. 'What is
that awful smell?'

'Lunch. You know, Mum, your forehead's got so many
wrinkles this morning it looks like a ploughed field.'

'Thanks. I can always depend on my kids to flatter me.'

'I bet it looks better than mine.'

'Don't.' Her tone was gently firm. 'You were sounding
so much more like yourself.'

Zee nodded. She certainly felt a whole lot better. The
weepiness had gone, and the panic. 'Do you promise not
to stick any more needles in me?' she asked.

'Only if you promise not to go ballistic. You kicked a
nurse – I've never been so mortified.'

'Did I?' Zee squirmed in the big bed. 'Sorry – I don't
know what came over me earlier.'

'It's called reaction.' Her mum grinned and squeezed
her hand.

She would probably never mention it again, she was
good that way. She didn't harp on – or only about
keeping bedrooms tidy – not about things that really
mattered. Affection surged through Zee.

'Mum. . . about me and Con . . . I'm sorry I didn't tell
you earlier. I really wanted to, I
hated
lying. But after
the eleventh night, when Gary let rip on the landing next
morning, I didn't think you'd let me see Conor. '

'I'm sorry too, love, I should have been braver. I
should have encouraged you and Conor, not been afraid
how Gary might react.'

'You are brave,' said Zee indignantly. 'These last two
years with the twins throwing tantrums . . . Gary's
moods . . . it's been so . . . so
different
for each of us, and
awful for you too. But you've been there for us all, since
Day One.'

'Just being there isn't enough,' said Sue heavily. 'Last
night, sitting here, I realised that.'

'What do you mean?' asked Zee as her mum pummelled
her pillows into a more comfortable position.

'For the last two years I've been wrapping us up in
cotton wool, planting flowers for the future, going to
peace vigils – it's not enough, love. I hoped, I
believed
that the politicians would sort things out, but last night I
realised it's going to take more than that. We've all got
to do our bit.'

She was starting to sound like Conor. 'Which bit are
you going to do?' asked Zee bleakly.

Her mother looked determined, in spite of her
tiredness. 'I'm going to do that training course and when
it's over I'm going to teach in Laggan College.'

'The cross-community school? Gary's not going to
like that. Have you told him? What did he say about last
night?'

'Gary's disappeared, love. The Molotovs say he
hasn't been back.'

Zee stared at the shiny hospital walls and the big glass
window that stretched from floor to ceiling.

Gary's voice came echoing back to her. '
Ben, get off
her! Leave her be!
'

Then Conor rounding on him. '
You knew their
names!
' he had shouted accusingly and Gary hadn't
denied it.

'
This wasn't meant to happen
,' he had said.

Gary was mixed up in it all right and she had sent him
away because otherwise Conor would have torn him
apart.

Suddenly voices outside the door jerked her back to
the present. The twins' voices, high and excited. The
door burst open and Zee's hands flew to her face but
there was no time and no place to hide.

'What on earth—' began her mother.

Dozens of flowers seemed to lurch crazily into the room,
gladioli, roses, carnations, chrysanthemums and a mass of
others that Zee could not even begin to name. Magda,
Miguel and Tasha smiled at her awkwardly from behind
the blooms while out from underneath shot the twins.

'Careful!' squealed their mother. 'Zee's hurt.'

Covered in chicken pox and petals, and with the same
gorilla nurse in hot pursuit, the twins hurled themselves
onto the bed.

'Sure you're up to this?'

Zee nodded; she was just hugely relieved that it
wasn't Conor.

Suddenly the twins stopped dead. They knelt on the
bed, staring at her, not saying a word and not daring to
touch her.

'Cat got your tongues?' asked their mum.

'It's still me!' Zee tried to sound cheerful but somehow
her voice came out desperate instead.

Then, very gravely, Josh said, 'I just hope they gave
you the brandy this time.'

Zee started laughing and the rest of them joined in, a
little uncertainly at first. They laughed for a full minute.
She hugged Josh, much to his disgust, and used the
opportunity to wipe her damp eyes on his shirt.

'Visiting is not until two o'clock,' the nurse said
crisply, 'after lunch.'

'Sorry,' said Magda humbly. 'We couldn't keep the
children away a second longer.'

'They have chicken pox,' thundered the nurse, 'and
this
is a hospital.'

'But it isn't infectious once the spots are up,' said Sue.

Magda smiled at her gratefully. 'You really don't
mind us coming?'

'Not at all. I knew they'd be desperate to see Zee.
Thanks so much for looking after them last night.'

'Visiting is
after
lunch,' boomed the nurse, 'not before.'

'I don't want lunch,' Zee told her. 'But I would like to
see my brother and sister.'

'Five minutes,' said the nurse. 'Not a second longer.
I'd better find some vases.'

'All these flowers . . . 'began Zee. 'Thank you so much.'

'The neighbours,' said Miguel, 'had a whirl about.'

'He means a whip round,' said Tasha.

Zee gulped back a mixture of laughter and tears. She
mustn't get all emotional again. 'Please thank them for
me, won't you?'

'Can I count your stitches?' asked Gemma. 'I can
count up to a hundred. Will that be high enough?'

'Of course it will,' said her mother spikily.

Josh touched her face. 'What happens if I pull this
thread, Zee?'

'I thump you, that's what happens.'

'See?' Sue was smiling with satisfaction. 'It's still our
Zee underneath.'

Magda looked at Zee solemnly. 'Miguel and I always
thought you were pretty level headed, Zee, but Tasha has
told us all about the last few weeks and now I know just
how much we have to thank you for.'

'I don't know what you mean,' blurted Zee.