“That’s great to hear, Angelo,” Levi said, setting his chair back upright as they each sat back down. “The fact you're willing to jump in and do anything is great for us, and having some extra muscle around wouldn’t suck.”
“Indeed-e-oh,” Valerie whispered, her beauty-queen smile once again firmly in place.
“Awesome!” Angelo said, looking considerably younger when overly excited. “When do I start?”
“When can you start?” Valerie asked.
“Right now if you need me,” he said.
“Tomorrow would be fine,” Levi said, turning toward the lobby and catching movement out of the corner of his eye.
Jake waved at him, smiling sheepishly as the front door closed behind him. He pointed toward the chairs, indicating he would be taking a seat as opposed to turning back around and vacating the premises.
“What time would you like me here?” Angelo asked.
“Eight would be—”
“Nine o’clock would be perfect,” Levi said, unable to tear his gaze away from Jake.
“Or nine, that would be fine as well,” Valerie said.
“Huh?” Levi asked, seeing Valerie stare daggers at him. “Oh, sorry Val.”
“No problem, nine will allow us some time to get organized in the morning before you show up.”
“Good thinking,” Levi said, turning back to see Jake staring at him.
“If you need to go take care of that, we can finish up here without you,” Val said.
“Right,” Levi said, laughing awkwardly as he stood from the table and shook Angelo’s hand. “Welcome aboard.”
“Thank you, Mr. Goode,” Angelo said.
“Levi will do just fine,” he added, leaving them to it.
* * * *
As he rounded the corner of the conference room and slowly headed to where Jake was seated, that instant ache returned, making him wonder why Jake had showed up here when he’d made it pretty clear he hadn’t ever wanted to see him again.
Jake stood, apparently able to read the lack of enthusiasm on Levi’s face.
“I know I shouldn’t be here, Levi, and I apologize for showing up unannounced, but I couldn’t stand to let another day go by with you hating me.”
“I don’t hate you, Jake,” Levi said matter-of-factly.
“You sure as shit don’t like me,” Jake interjected, cringing when Levi didn’t jump in with any denials. “I need to talk to you, explain my side so you don’t think I’m a completely evil asshole.”
That irritated him, because frankly, Levi needed to think of him as an evil asshole and if the man had any ounce of chivalry he’d have already realized that and left him be.
“So who’s the guy?” Jake asked, nudging his head toward the conference room.
Levi turned to see Angelo was watching them, waving at them before returning to the paperwork Valerie had him filling out.
“He works here, Jake,” Levi said, offering no further information. “Is that what you came here for, to interrogate me about my business?”
Jake sighed, shaking his head. “Of course not. Look, could we get out of here? Let me buy you a coffee.”
“You’re not afraid I’ll accidently assume it’s a date?” Levi asked sarcastically.
“I deserve that,” Jake said, lifting up his hands in surrender.
“This really isn’t a good time for me,” Levi said.
Jake reached over and took his hand. “Please, Levi, give me thirty minutes of your time.” He lifted Levi’s hand, checking the time on his watch before letting go of him. “I’ve gotta be at work in little over an hour, so I can’t keep you too long.”
Levi nodded, mildly disgusted with himself for relenting. “Let me go grab my phone and keys,” he said, turning to find Valerie standing there holding both.
“Bye bye,” she said sweetly.
He mouthed the words
behave yourself
and shot her a nasty look that said he meant business.
“Hi, I’m Jake,” he said, offering his hand to Val before Levi began shoving him toward the door.
“There’s no need for introductions, Jake,” Levi said.
“You might feel differently—”
“Do you still have a boyfriend?” Levi asked, following Jake out on to the sidewalk.
“Yeah,” Jake said, scowling.
Levi smiled, petting his shoulder like a puppy in need of training. “Then I won’t change my mind.”
Jake sneered, apparently not appreciating that answer. Levi could also spot the man’s determination to prove him wrong, which frustrated him all the more.
* * * *
By the time they’d waited in line and eventually placed their order, a good fifteen minutes had blown by, which Levi decided was a point scored for his side. He knew this wasn’t a game—that real people with real feelings could potentially get hurt by whatever happened here. However, Levi was also aware that he was one of those potential victims, and for whatever reason, the whole keeping score thing seemed to help.
The fact that he couldn’t look Jake in the face without wishing he could lunge over the table and maul him—in the best possible sense—was a point for Jake’s side. The thing that bugged Levi more than anything was that damn feeling he couldn’t shake telling him that Jake wasn’t the monster Levi needed him to be.
A guy that sped all over the city trying to save people’s lives, couldn’t possibly be a complete monster.
A guy who had been so kind to Ruby, continually reassuring her that she was going to be okay and then going one step further by checking in on her while she was staying in the hospital? Not very monster-like.
A guy that made Levi yearn for all the things he’d not so carefully shoved to the side in order to make way for his career and the creation of his business?
“Anti-monstery,” Levi mumbled.
“What was that?” Jake asked, taking a seat across from him at the tiny table crammed into the tight corner next to the bathroom which Levi had specifically selected because it was the least romantic setting he could find after surveying the entire café.
“Nothing, I said nothing.”
Jake tapped out a quick text while shooting Levi a sideways glance as if to say he wasn’t buying it. “Apologies for the texting, just letting my partner know where to pick me up.”
Levi smirked wondering if it wasn’t some other dude he’d dated and dashed on.
“Let’s get on with it, times a tickin’.” Levi pointed to his watch. “Say what you’ve gotta say.”
“I love that you still wear a watch,” Jake said.
“Lots of people still wear watches,” Levi said, correcting him.
“Do they?” he asked. “Aside from old men?”
“This is what you brought me here for?” Levi asked, wide-eyed.
“No, of course not, sheesh—just trying to segway into the tougher stuff, my apologies… again.”
Levi sighed, wishing he didn’t feel the need to be quite so acidic. “I’m sorry.”
“No, Levi, I’m the one who is sorry. I should have told you about Victor before showing up at the movies that night.”
“Why didn’t you?” Levi asked.
“Honestly, things have been a little rocky the past few years with Victor. The way you looked at me, I could tell you were into me, which is exactly why I should have told you and also exactly the reason why I didn’t.”
Levi shrugged. “I’m confused.”
“It’s been a while since anyone has looked at me like that.”
“I seriously doubt that.”
“Okay, well… a long time since it came from someone I wanted to look at me that way.”
“Oh.”
Now that he finally understood he wished he didn’t. He took a sip of coffee and watched as Jake did the same.
“I’d like to be able to say that came out wrong, but really it’s the truth, which just happens to make me look like a shit-heel.”
Levi grinned, never having heard anyone use that term aside from he and Ruby.
“I wasn’t out looking for trade.” Jake was careful to clarify. “I have never done that. You just happened.”
Levi nodded, thinking this version of events sounded more like the type of guy he imagined Jake to be after meeting him.
“If it’s any consolation to you, were I not already with someone, I’d be so into you, Levi. I wouldn’t give you so much as a moment to catch your breath in my attempt to sweep you off your feet.” Jake sighed and glanced out the window, as if he knew it was true but still didn’t like it, as if the mere act of saying the words had left a bad taste in his mouth.
There was the knife in the gut, slicing straight through him as the future he’d imagined with Jake turned into some alternate universe that this version of himself would never live to see.
Jake smiled, tapping on Levi’s hand trying to draw his attention back. “Beyond any attraction, I do genuinely like you as a person. You’re funny and sweet and I don’t know about you, but I don’t really have many friends, even fewer who are gay men, and I miss that.”
“So you wanna be friends with me?” Levi asked, thinking that couldn’t be right. Not after the things he’d just said.
“Growing up the way I did, it was tough to meet someone new only to eventually discover they only wanted to be around me because of my family.”
“Poor little rich boy, huh?”
Jake flinched, like that may have truly wounded him. Levi was surprised that he felt every bit as good over thinking he’d hurt Jake as he did bad for doing the same. He caught a twinge of the achy-chest again, so he glanced down at his coffee, deciding another drink might break the awkwardness.
“I’m not wealthy, Levi, my parents are and the instant I decided not to be the person they wanted me to be, I was on my own—have been ever since. I have a small nest egg from money that was left to me when my grandfather passed away, but otherwise, I live on what I earn working.”
“Sorry, I didn’t know that. Regardless, it’s not my place to pass judgment over you even if you were Richie Rich.”
Jake smiled sheepishly. “So, can we be friends?”
“I don’t know.” Levi sucked down the last of his coffee. “Part of me thinks this friend thing is a terrible idea.”
Jake nodded, looking down at the table like his worst fears had just been realized.
Levi wanted to punch him and hug him all at the same time.
“But if I’m being completely honest with myself, I don’t really have many friends either.” Levi said the words easily enough, yet he didn’t enjoy the sense of loneliness they left behind. “That being said, Jake, I really hate being lied to and it pisses me off every time I think about it.”
“I’m very sorry, Levi. I swear to you that I don’t run around trying to hook up with guys when my boyfriend is out of town. I am not that guy.”
Levi hated hearing Jake say the ‘B’ word. “I do like you, but I need to think about this, okay?”
Jake frowned but nodded that he understood.
In truth, Levi was unsure if he would ever be able to get beyond the disappointment that he could never be with Jake. The thought of being around the man and not being able to reach out and take his hand or kiss him—that wrecked his insides. He’d have to truly be some sort of an emotional masochist to sign up for a friendship like that.
Jake reached over, placing a hand over Levi’s, giving it a firm squeeze, apologizing once more before pulling away and getting up from the table. He said goodbye before walking out the door and hopping into a massive black pickup that had pulled up outside the café.
The instant Jake was gone Levi wanted him back. That made him incredibly sad and he decided right then, there was no way he could be friends with Jake.
He grabbed his cell off the table and tapped on the screen, pulling up the text he’d received from Jake last week letting him know what room Ruby was in at the hospital. Levi stared at the phone, conflicted because Ruby had made sure he was aware of the fact Jake had gone above and beyond that day, making sure one of the nurses texted him the room number so he could pass that information along to Levi personally.
Again, not the actions of your typical asshole.
He shook his head, frustrated, then he sighed.
Levi typed out a quick message and hesitated briefly, finger hovering over the screen as part of him was screaming for him to not hit the ‘send’ button.
Levi closed his eyes and tapped the screen, sitting there quietly for a moment before re-opening his eyes to a new reality—one that wasn’t going to include Jake Freeman.
Chapter Six
Jake slipped on his seatbelt, hearing his phone chirp, alerting him to the fact he had a text. He settled into the seat as Craig pulled away from the curb and sped off down the street, weaving in and out of traffic. “Do you have to drive like a crazy person?”
He went fishing through his coat pocket for his phone.
“Wasn’t that the orgy guy?” Craig asked, completely ignoring the one about his driving.
Jake shot him a look.
“What? His name is Levi and we’re fr—” Jake felt sick to his stomach reading the text message from Levi. “
Not
going to be friends.”
“You look disappointed.”