Love Lost and Found (3 page)

breath on the up strokes and hold it on the down. He was going to come.

IN MY MOUTH,
my mind screamed. I had to pull off but Travis was having

none of that. He stroked twice more then his body went stiff. The first hot jet

surprised the hell out of me and I almost choked. A second quickly followed so I

had to swallow quickly to catch the next. That was the cycle for close to a minute

and a half. He’d squirt. I’d swallow.

Travis went limp. He released my hair and went back to rub lazy circles on

my back. I let his limp dick fall from my mouth and lay with my head on his lap,

trying to catch my breath.

He forgave me and we were back together.

20

Graduation came in June of that year and I went back to my high school to

participate in graduation and march with my class. I went to see Travis march,

too. He started at the local college in the fall. I was in my third quarter, still at the

junior college.

After one year in college, Travis decided it wasn’t for him. He enlisted in the

Navy and left. I finished junior college after a year and a half then went to the local

technical college to get a one-year certificate in hands on training in the computer

field.

Travis called one day after he’d finished basic training and got to his first

duty station, asking if I would come live with him.

“Are you crazy? My folks aren’t going for that,” I told him. My parents were

old fashioned. No shacking up for their kids. “Besides, I’m still in school and I want

to finish.”

“We can get married then if you want to?” Travis asked.

That blew my damn mind. I wanted nothing more but would never have

told him that.

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“Well?” Travis asked when I didn’t respond.

“Yes,” I said, trying to hold back the tears.

“Give me some time to find out how long I’ll be stationed here and what else

I need to do and I’ll call you back with the information,” Travis said.

I didn’t tell my family at first. Didn’t feel there was anything they could do

to stop me so there was no reason for it. I was twenty and didn’t live in my

parents’ house any longer. Travis said it wasn’t a good idea and that I should tell

them. I finally did about a week before we were scheduled to go to the courthouse.

Neither of us wanted the pomp and circumstance of a big wedding so the Justice

of the Peace was enough.

We were married a month after he’d asked. I packed my things and moved

to begin my life with the love of my life.

We’d been married three months when I found out Travis was seeing

someone else. It hurt me so bad I thought I’d die. Thinking back to the time Travis

had found out about Thomas and me, I cried myself to sleep. Now I knew how he

felt. I would have felt it just desserts if we hadn’t been married. I confronted him

and he blew me off. I left. I couldn’t live with this man knowing I meant that little

to him.

22

We’d been separated two months when I got a call from one of his squad

mates telling me he was in the hospital. Travis had put his hand through a racket

ball court window and messed up the tendons in his wrist. I panicked. I packed a

few things and made my way back to the city he was stationed—thank GOD it

was only three hours away—and got to the hospital.

When I walked in the hospital room, Travis was laying there, arm bandaged

up in traction, asleep. He woke when his father who had made the trip with me

and I walked in the room. The tears began flowing and my heart sank. I walked

over to him and just held him as we both cried our eyes out.

His father walked to the other side of the bed and placed a hand on each of

us. When we stopped crying, his father said, “You two need to get your shit

together and stop all this foolishness. Any fool can see how in love you are. You are

only making yourselves and each other miserable.”

He was right, of course, and Travis and I promised to do better. His father

left after about two hours. Travis asked the nurse that came in to check on him if

he could get a shower. She went to check with the doctor then came back with a

plastic bag. She wrapped the plastic bag around his arm and we went to the

shower. I stood on the outside of the stall trying to wash him but only managed to

soak myself instead. Taking off my clothes, I got in with him and bathed him from

head to toe. Of course, by the time I’d reached his dick, it was hard as steel.

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Why not? It’d been a while and I really did miss him.

We made slow love while making sure to keep as much water as possible off

his arm. With the shower finished, we returned to the room. The nurse came in

with a chicken-shit grin on her face because she knew what we’d been doing. I just

shrugged my shoulders while Travis blushed, if that were possible with his

chocolate complexion.

Two days later, Travis was released from the hospital on leave. We made the

drive back to our hometown and I babied him. Everything was going smoothly and

we were reconnecting until Thomas decided to show up out of the blue, just to say

hi. Travis snapped. I tried to explain that Thomas and I hadn’t been together in a

while—I wasn’t going to say how long the ‘while’ was—but Travis wouldn’t hear

any of it. Even though I loved Travis with all my heart, the player girl was still

ingrained in me and I didn’t want Travis to know him catching me had cause

Thomas to get the boot. I just couldn’t let Travis know he’d won.

Why? I’d never truly admitted to anything happening between Thomas and

me. I just never denied it either. I know that sounds childish and omission is the

same as admission, but I hadn’t said the words and I wouldn’t.
PERIOD.
Travis got

in the car and somehow managed to drive to his stick shift to his parents’ house.

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He called me later and said he should have never married me because “‘once

a hoe, always a hoe.” That pissed me off. If he wanted to believe I was still messing

around with Thomas, then fuck him.

I didn’t call Travis and wouldn’t answer his calls when he called me. He

decided to come to the house about a week after that phone call. I opened the door

and just looked at him. I’d just woken up so it looked like my eyes were puffy from

crying. Travis grabbed my waist with his good hand and began crying on my

shoulder. He apologized over and over until I got tired of hearing it and just told

him to stop. I explained to him I wasn’t messing with Thomas. That he was

projecting his guilt on me.

We talked for hours about everything we’d both done wrong. I still never

actually said the words. We pledged we would work it out if I came back to him. I

did.

Travis had to go back for a follow-up doctor’s appointment a week later so

we looked for an apartment while we were there. He’d been living with a friend in

his squadron since I’d left. We moved back in together a week later and life was

good.

I was walking up the stairs headed to the apartment one day after I’d gotten

home from work. A young lady I’d never seen before stopped me. She informed me

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that my husband was fucking her roommate and I needed to follow her. I told her I

didn’t believe her and wasn’t interested in her fairytales.

She said, “If you really don’t believe me then there’s no harm following me.”

Resigned to prove her wrong, I followed. The girl led me to an apartment complex

about ten minutes away from ours.

When we got to the apartment, I was the one proven wrong. Travis was so

deep in the pussy he didn’t even hear me walk in. The girl had her hands on Travis’

ass, guiding his strokes. I walked over, placed my hand on his ass also and waited.

Realization finally came and Travis looked over his shoulder, eyes big as dinner

plates.

“Don’t stop on my account. I just wanted you to know I’d been here,” I said

and turned and walked out the apartment.

By the time got back to our complex and made it to the bottom step, Travis

was pulling into the parking lot. I knew only because of the squeal of the tires as

he came to an abrupt stop in the parking space. Not really in the mood for

dramatics or theatrics, I continued up the stairs. He came running up the sidewalk

and up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I’d just unlocked and opened the door

when he reached me. I walked inside, him hot on my heels.

He closed the door then began, “I can—”

26

“You can what,” I interrupted. “Explain? No, you can’t. There is no

explanation. I thought we were through with this but obviously I was wrong. I

don’t want to talk about this right now. I may
NEVER
want to talk about it,” I said

in a tone brokering no argument from him.

Being a country girl, momma taught me to cook meals without even being

home. Crock-pots and slow cookers are my favorite kitchen appliances. I went

into the kitchen and fixed both our plates. He was sitting on the couch, trying to

figure out what to do, I guess. Anyway, I sat on the couch beside him both plates

in my hand. I placed his plate on the coffee table in front of him. I grabbed the

remote, turned on the television, and began to eat. I looked at Travis from the

corner of my eye and noticed he’d picked up the plate but had yet to take a bite.

Serves your dumb ass right,
I thought to myself. I reached over with my fork and

took a bite out of everything on his plate. Once he saw that, he was satisfied I

hadn’t tried to poison him and began to eat. We ate in silence until we’d finished.

I got up, took the plates back in the kitchen and cleaned the kitchen.

Heading to the bathroom to take a shower. I left Travis on the couch. I felt the

shower curtain open and a couple seconds later, Travis’ tentative touch on my

back. I stiffened at first but knew I wouldn’t be able to hold out long so just gave

up. I turned to him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and kissed him with every

ounce of love I felt for this man.

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We made love that night and it felt like the first time. All the love we felt for

each other came out and we cried in each other’s arms over everything that either

had done to hurt the other.

That lasted about a month. I found out he was messing with yet another girl

again and decided that was it. Enough was enough. So I left again. I had nothing

left to give and ‘I’m sorry’ wasn’t going to cut it this time.

We talked off and on for over three months. Travis informed me that he was

getting stationed out of the country and he’d already told the Navy I was going

with him. I started not to but I was so in love with this man, I couldn’t talk myself

into not going.

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The movers came to pack us out and a week later, I was on a plane. Travis

had been there a little over a month before I arrived so he’d acclimated himself

with the base. The movers came with our furniture and we settled in. I

immediately began looking for a job and found one within a month. Travis was

still playing basketball so I would go watch him play when I wasn’t working.

It was at one of these games that I found out Travis was up to his old tricks

yet again. I didn’t even try to deny it or argue the point. At half time, Travis looked

in the bleacher were I always sat and saw the female sitting next to me. He knew

his shit was hitting the fan and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it.

When we got home that night, I told him, “There’s no need talking about it

because I’ve heard it all before. As long as no one else comes to me with the shit,

you can do what the fuck ever you want to do, but don’t think I’m going to sit

around waiting for you to find time for me.”

He didn’t like that one bit but what could he do?

I threw myself into my job and started working out at the gym. I’d gotten

lazy and really needed to get back into shape. While at the gym one day, I met one