Love... From Both Sides (A laugh-out-loud romantic comedy) (25 page)

After all, the best way to show that I was the man for her - and not the guy who’d dumped her unceremoniously a year ago – was to act in an understanding, mature manner.

‘You fucking
what
?’ I say in a semi-growl.

‘It’s very confusing, Jamie. He wants to see me and I’ve agreed, just so I can get my head straight about him, you… everything. Please don’t be angry.’

‘Don’t be
angry
? Your cock of an ex walks back into your life and you don’t kick him straight back out again?’

‘I said it’s complicated.’ There’s an edge to Laura’s voice now.

‘Looks pretty simple from where I’m sitting. You’d rather give the prick that dumped you another go than carry on seeing me.’

‘That’s not what I said! I don’t want to stop seeing you. I just need to hear what he’s got to say. I was with him for years.’

Shame-faced humiliation is fuelling my anger. I’m far too
het
up now to back down.

‘Oh, well that’s
fine
then! Perfectly reasonable to expect me to sit back and wait for you to make your fucking mind up about whether you want me or your ex.’

I’m off the couch and headed towards the front door in a flash. Laura follows.

‘That’s not fair, Jamie!’

‘You know what’s not fair? Actually thinking a girl’s into you and finding out you’re just a bloody seat warmer until the real love of her life prances back on the scene. I hope you and marvellous Mike will be very happy together.’

‘It’s not like that!’

‘Bullshit! You’re a bitch!’

I throw the front door open and stalk out.

I know I’ve completely over-reacted.

I’m already starting to regret it even as I walk into the street and storm towards my car. I should go back, apologise and try and salvage this mess. I know this girl is worth the effort.

Sadly, I’m hurt, humiliated and angry. Logic has flown right out of the window.

I gun the car angrily and drive past the flat. Laura is standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes.

There are tears in mine too.

So here I sit, two hours later and still in a right old mess.

Laura hasn’t called me and I sure as hell don’t intend to ring her.

Every time I think I should phone and apologise, I remember that she’s agreed to see her ex, even though she’s supposed to be seeing
me
.

It’s just so
unbelievable
that she’d let him back in her life like that!

How am I supposed to compete with a guy who can screw Laura around, dump her for another woman… and
still
get his way, even though he’s been gone over a year?

She obviously wants to check whether he’s changed - and come right back to me if he hasn’t.

Well, bugger that for a game of soldiers, I’m
nobody’s
second choice!

From a quick Google search it appears there are many ways I can become a monk.

The idea of living halfway up a mountain, somewhere hundreds of miles from the nearest woman, sounds incredibly appealing.

Maybe I can learn martial arts, come back in ten years and snap Mike’s neck.

I hate my life.

Laura’s Diary

Friday, September 23rd

Dear Mum,

I am a colossal idiot.

A gold plated moron.

A five star pillock.

An all-singing all-dancing twat of the highest order.

Seeing Jamie went about as well as I’d feared.

He went totally overboard, of course.

Can I really blame him? The last thing a man wants to hear is that the woman he’s been dating intends to meet up with her ex for a chat.

I didn’t expect him to go
quite
as mental as he did though.

The storming melodramatic exit from the flat was well executed, I’ll give him that.

It left me feeling pretty damn shitty about myself, if I’m honest. As I watched his car roar away down the street, I knew I’d potentially ruined a good thing just to get some kind of closure on my relationship with Mike.

But was that what I wanted?
Closure
? Or was there a part of me that still loved Mike and really was willing to take him back?

I knew I’d done the right thing in agreeing to see him. It was a real pity I had to hurt Jamie in the process.

The last thought I had as I shut the front door was that Mike Adams had better have changed his bloody tune and be worth all this trouble.

Naturally Mike said we should meet at
Langtree
Lakes
.

We’d spent a lot of time in this gorgeous nature reserve when we were together.

It’s still one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been to and I have very fond memories of the long walks we used to take… before heading into The Langtree Arms for a refreshing drink.

I hadn’t been back since the break-up though.

The big problem with getting dumped is that so many of the places you love suddenly become completely off-limits.

I’ve often thought it would be better to just visit a load of shit holes with the love of your life. Then, even if the relationship does grenade itself, you’re not going to mourn every beauty spot in the area, as well as your ex.

It looks exactly the same as I turn the Micra into the small gravel car park.

The last vestiges of the Indian summer still hold the country in its embrace, so it’s a gloriously sunny evening.

And there he is…

Mike Adams.

Sitting on the very same bench he always used to while he waited for me to arrive.

We’d kissed on that bench.

There was even one occasion - on a hot summer’s evening much like this one, with the car park deserted - that we’d done a little more.

It’s like going back in time.

A cynical part of me suggests this is all a very deliberate ploy on Mike’s part to keep me thinking about the good times we’d shared, rather than the raging arguments that had peppered the latter stages of our five years together.

I try to ignore it though. Dredging up the past won’t get us anywhere, and I want to go into this meeting with an open mind.

He gets up and walks over to the car.

‘Hello beautiful,’ he says in his charming Irish lilt, opening the car door for me like a perfect gentleman.

‘Hi Mike.’

I’m struck with nervous anxiety.

I’ve gambled a hell of a lot on the idea Mike has changed.

He certainly hasn’t altered physically one bit. That shock of dark brown hair is as unruly as ever. He still favours his chequered shirts and black jeans. The gym instructor’s body still moves with the same consummate grace and poise.

Calm down, woman. Getting horny isn’t going to put you in the right frame of mind to deal with this, is it?

‘It’s great to be back here with you,’ he says, closing the car door behind me. ‘Shall we walk the old route?’

‘I guess so.’

We stroll past the first of the four lakes Langtree gets its name from. There’s still enough sun at
quarter to seven
to bathe the calm waters with lazy heat.

I decide to get straight to the point. ‘So, why the hell should I consider taking you back Mike?’

‘Because I love you.’

‘Not good enough. You broke my heart last year.’

‘I know I did… and I’m sorry.’

I stop and look at him. ‘Why Mike? Why did you run off with that twelve year old?’

‘She was twenty one,’ he protests.

‘I know. I was exaggerating for effect.’ This is an annoying habit Mike always had. He can’t resist correcting an error you’ve made, even if he knows damn well it’s a deliberate one.

‘I was stupid. She was just there all the time… and you were working such long hours.’

‘I was trying to get my business off the ground!’

‘I know! But I didn’t see you for what seemed like days on end… and Le-Anne was there for me.’

‘Not anymore though, eh? She’s had enough of you, so now you’re back, I suppose?’ I walk off in a huff. He catches up and takes my arm. For some reason, I’m horribly reminded of the confrontation with Martin the salesman outside The Cheetah Lounge.

‘That’s not true baby. I finished with her, like I said.’

‘Why?’

‘There was nothing to her, you know? Once you got past the physical attraction. I only realised how unique you were when I had somebody else to compare you to.’

This is probably the smoothest line delivered in history. If you examined it with an electron microscope you wouldn’t find a single flaw in its surface.

‘It’s not like I was the
only
busy one,’ I remind him. ‘You were off out with your friends so much back then. I remember the arguments when you’d stumble back in at two in the morning.’

‘Yeah. I was selfish. I just got too…
relaxed
, you know? Took you for granted.’

‘Yes. You did.’

‘But I’ll never do that again. It’s been awful without you. Not a day goes by when I don’t wish things had happened differently.’

‘Like not sticking your cock in a gym assistant?’

‘I told you I never cheated and I meant it!’

And there it is. The old
Adams
anger. It’s only ever boiled over once into physical violence, when he pushed me against a wall and banged my head. The apologies had been as heart-felt as the ones I’m listening to right now.

‘Alright Mike. I believed you then and I still do,’ I say.

He takes my hand and leads me down onto the small wooden jetty that sticks out over the second and largest lake on the reserve. This is another highly romantic place from our past.

Memories come flooding back.