Read Love... And Sleepless Nights MAY 2012 Online
Authors: Nick Spalding
Love... And Sleepless Nights MAY 2012
Love… And Sleepless Nights
Sometimes, the hardest part of becoming a parent is keeping a straight face…
Just ask Jamie and Laura Newman, who (thanks to a rather relaxed attitude to contraception) find themselves about to have a baby. It’s obviously a terrifying prospect for a newly married couple, but as long as they stick together they’ll be fine, right?
They’d better, because the path between conception and those first few baby steps is littered with many obstacles – such as public sickness, rabid insomnia, violent mood swings, complicated sex, and copious amounts of swearing.
Featuring a cast that includes an overbearing mother-in-law, a terrifying midwife, and at least one chorus of mating humpbacks, Love… And Sleepless Nights is the hilarious sequel all about what happens next.
Falling in love with another person is easy. Making a new one with them is where things get complicated.
By Nick Spalding:
Life… With No Breaks
Life… On A High
Love… From Both Sides
The Cornerstone
Spalding’s Scary Shorts
Love… And Sleepless Nights
Buy Nick’s books:
Copyright © Nick Spalding 2012
First published in
This Kindle edition published 2012 by Racket Publishing
The rights of Nick Spalding to be identified as the author of this work have been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher.
Love… And Sleepless Nights
Nick Spalding
Racket Publishing
Chapters
Laura’s Diary – Monday, April 1st
Jamie’s Blog – Tuesday 2 April
Laura’s Diary – Wednesday, May 22nd
Jamie’s Blog – Tuesday 11 June
Laura’s Diary – Wednesday, June 12th
Jamie’s Blog – Wednesday 10 July
Laura’s Diary – Saturday, August 17th
Jamie’s Blog – Tuesday 10 September
Laura’s Diary – Friday, October 4th
Jamie’s Blog – Sunday 10 November
Laura’s Diary – Monday, December 2nd
Jamie’s Blog – Monday 2 December
Laura’s Diary – Monday, December 2nd continued...
Jamie’s Blog – Tuesday 10 December
Laura’s Diary – Monday, January 13th
Jamie’s Blog – Friday 28 March
Laura’s Diary – Thursday, June 5th
Laura’s Diary – Friday, July 25th
Jamie’s Blog – Tuesday 4 November
Laura’s Diary – Monday, November 10th
Jamie’s Blog – Sunday 30 November
Laura’s Diary – Sunday, November 30th
Monday, April 1st
Dear Mum,
Well, it’s finally happened. I’ve achieved my life long ambition.
It’s been many years in the making, but I can now honestly say that I, Laura Newman, have successfully thrown my guts up in front of a group of men at an important job interview.
When my time on God’s green Earth is done, I’ll have many,
many
fond memories to look back on - including the day I attended an interview at the Hotel Chocolat central offices in London, and did the technicolour yawn all over the company senior executives.
The timing was of course
perfect
.
Rather than the sudden and overwhelming urge to be sick hitting me at a more opportune time – while watching Britain’s Got Talent, or listening to another one of Jamie’s office anecdotes for instance – it happened at the precise moment I was impressing the hell out of a potential employer with my unrivalled knowledge of chocolate production and marketing.
Until the time of the ‘up chuck’ everything had been going fine.
The interview had come at precisely the right time for my nerves, Jamie’s sanity and our joint bank account.
The stress of having to close the shop thanks to the recession was just about killing the both of us, so having the chance to interview for a highly paid role with one of the largest chocolate companies in the country was a major lifeline.
So off I go to
I’m more prepared for this interview than they were for the bloody D-Day landings.
My poor, over-taxed brain is choc-a-block with every detail it can hold regarding the company’s business practices and methods.