Lost Until You (The Sorrentino Brothers Series Book 1) (24 page)

Chapter Twenty-Five

Brax

 “Slow the hell down, B. It ain’t going anywhere.” Brix slapped my back.

Slow down, my ass. I was enjoying my Jack and Coke. He needed to shut the fuck up.

“You want one?” I offered him a drink. Maybe it would help loosen his ass up a little. I knew I gave Brix a run for his money earlier, but shit, I was relaxed, he needed to be, too.

Brix raised his beer, letting me know he already had one, so I swiveled back around on the barstool and looked out into the crowd. It had been a while since I’d been to a bar. The last time I came to Secrets, Jazz was with me. However tonight was my night to get my drunk on. It was time to get fucked up and cast my worries to Jack. He was the only one who understood, anyway.

After we left the studio, I followed Brix over to Secrets to meet up with my brothers. I was surprised when Brayden wanted to even hang around me tonight, but that’s how our family was. We’d argue, we’d fight, and then we’d be done. That was how we handled things.

 “You see that chick over there.” Brayden pointed toward the left.

I stood up on my toes nearly busting my ass. Maybe I needed to slow down just a bit.

“What about her?” Brody took a pull from the bottle.

“Let’s just say she gives good head,” Brayden replied, and then turned around laughing.

The shit-eating grin Brayden had was unrecognizable. My little brother was up to no good. Without a doubt, he was a true player at heart. No matter how many girls he had been with, Brayden always found more. His dick was going to fall off one of these days.

“You would know, wouldn’t you?”

“Ahhhh…The Sorrentino boys! Oh. My. God!” a chick squealed from somewhere behind us.

I growled, not wanting any females near me tonight. All they did was cause trouble and I’d had enough of my own shit to last a lifetime.

I sat my glass down on the bar-top, signaling over the bartender. He made his way over and refilled my glass. I sucked back my Jack and coke, feeling the burn run through my chest.

Shit. That felt good
.

“Well, if it isn’t Brax Sorrentino.” Someone took a seat on a stool next to me. I turned my head and came face to face with a girl I hadn’t seen in years.

“Bianca. It’s been a while?” I slurred my words, trying to sound all macho and shit. I wasn’t doing a good job. I was fucking hammered.

 “It sure has,” she said, whipping her hair off the side of her shoulders.

She hadn’t changed at all. Bianca was short, with long black hair and midnight colored eyes. She was skinny has hell, though. I liked my girl with some meat on her bones.

I remembered the last time we had seen each other. Bianca was with that jackass, Jon Freemont. I couldn’t stand that dick. He thought he was cool in high school, and yet no one liked his scrawny ass.

 “How are you? It’s been a while,” she asked, as she stood up and gave me a hug.

I had to push myself back out of her way. The girl’s tits were all perked up in my face.

“I’m alive, bab—…. I mean, hun. That’s about it. How about yourself?”

“I’m great, actually.” She glanced around the bar.

Vonage was playing there tonight. It was packed as usual.

“You come here a lot?”

“Not in a while. Been kind of tied up.” I pointed to the wedding band sitting on my ring finger.

“OhOoooo! And who’s the lucky girl?”

I smiled. I couldn’t help it. I was still legally married to Jazz, whether she wanted to be or not. She was still my wife.

“Jasmine Flower. You remember her from Arundel?”

Bianca thought about it a minute and then shook her head. “I don’t think so. What year did she graduate?”

“Two thousand and nine. She graduated with my little brother, Brayden.”

Bianca pinched her eyebrows together. “Oh, you mean, Jazz? The real pretty girl that was adopted or something?”

 “She was adopted, yeah,” I played it off coolly, trying not to get pissed off. I didn’t need Bianca getting all up in Jazz’s business. Jazz was a private girl and I was going to make sure she kept it that way.

“That’s great. Albeit, I thought she would have married Brayden. I remember how super close they were our senior year. He used to walk Jazz to class, laughing throughout the hallway.”

I didn’t remember any of that. Had I seen Jazz before their graduation, she would have been mine a long time ago.

 “You still live in Crofton?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

I missed my wife, but I didn’t want to talk about her like we were still together. Besides, I wasn’t good at this conversation shit. I guess being with the same girl for five years would do that to you.

Bianca shook her head. “No. I bought a house in Frankford a few years ago. I love it out there.”

I took a pull from my glass. “That’s cool.”

We talked for a little while longer before her friend walked over.

“There you are.”

Bianca grabbed her friend’s arm, pulling her between us.

“Brax, this is my girl, Kerri. Kerri, this is Brax Sorrentino. We used to go to school together.”

Kerri reached across Bianca and shook my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Brax.”

Bianca bent down and grabbed her purse. “Excuse me for a minute. I need to use the ladies’ room.”

I watched her walk off, leaving her friend behind. “Are you having a good time?” Kerri moved into Bianca’s seat, sitting down next to me.

I lifted my glass and said, “Cheers.”

She smiled, batting her eyelashes. This wasn’t good. I needed to put some space between us. Clearly, I was sexually frustrated, not being with my wife in three months. I had to move away from this girl.

 “You feeling good, bro?” Brayden swooped in saving the day.

Fucking right.

I stood up from the stool. “I’m good.”

Brayden moved around me and started talking to Kerri. I picked up my glass, leaving the two of them alone.

This wasn’t my scene. My heart belonged at home with my girls, not at a bar with some random chick looking to score an easy lay.

I walked outside toward the pier. It was inching close to midnight and I was entirely too drunk. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and called the one person I knew who could make me feel better. I should have known better, but I missed her. Guilt was eating me alive from what I had seen in her journal. We needed to talk.

The phone rang and rang until her voicemail finally picked up. Against my better judgment, I left a message. I needed Jazz to know I still loved her, regardless of how things had panned out.

“It’s been three months, baby. Three fucking months since you left me. Why? Why can’t you call and let me know you’re okay? Why’d you do this? I could’ve helped you, Jazz. I could’ve helped us. I could be there holding you right now. Instead, I’m in a fucking bar hammered, feeling like hell. I need you, baby. I need my girl. I miss the fuck out of you.”

The phone beeped and then hung up on me. I was pissed. There was no excuse for Jazz running off the way she did. I had done everything in my power to help our situation, but nothing was ever good enough. Nothing worked, because she left anyway.

Savanah cried all the fucking time. I couldn’t blame her. It was hard for me, too. But having to drop her off with Ma every time I couldn’t handle shit was getting old. Our daughter didn’t deserve the wrath of my family’s destruction. She deserved to be happy, in our home, with our family together. I just had to convince Jazz to come home.

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Jazz
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As a part of my healing process, I finally reached out to Pat and Phyllis. They had tried to contact me on several occasions, but the timing hadn’t been right. I had too much going on, refusing to bring them into the middle of this mess, especially seeing how their daughter was the one who caused all of the issues.

I parked my SUV in their driveway and headed straight to the front door. I didn’t have to knock since Phyllis and Landon were standing inside waiting for me.

Landon opened the door, immediately pulling me into his arms.

“It’s good to see you again, niece,” he joked, forcing a giggle out of me.

That wasn’t something I had done in a while. Maybe this would be a good visit after all.

I stepped inside the house and took off my coat, handing it to Landon.

“Come here, sweets, and give me a hug. I’ve missed you,” Phyllis moved around Landon, wrapping her arms around my back.

“I’ve missed you, too,” I replied, hoping it sounded appropriate. I wasn’t really sure what to say. The last time we met, there had been a lot of tension. We were good when I left, but I hadn’t spoken to them since.

Phyllis led me into the kitchen, taking a seat at the dining room table.

“Can I get you anything?” she asked, as I stood there admiring the décor throughout the room.

“No, thank you. I’m okay.”

It was absolutely beautiful in there.

The theme they used was of the ocean. The walls were painted in a light colored blue with seashell wallpaper at the top. The trim around the middle was in white, making the colors of the wallpaper stand out beautifully.

They had light brown shelves stationed on all four walls, three on each row, with picture frames of their children on each shelf, surrounded by multiple seashells.

I remembered their house having a homey feeling the last time I was here, but now, I felt more at peace.

Landon fixed his mom a cup of coffee then took a seat next to her. I sat down in front of them, praying this talk did me some good.

“Sorry. I’ve had a bit of a cold these last few weeks, and for whatever reason, I can’t seem to get it under control.”

“It’s the weather change, Mom. It goes from hot-to-cold-to-rain-to-warm-to-snow.”

I admired Landon. He had a funny personality just like Brax. He was definitely comfortable to be around.

“So. How are you?” Phyllis took a sip of her coffee, holding the mug close to her lips.

“I’m okay,” I said hesitantly. “Hanging in there.”

Landon must have known something was up, because he didn’t seem to believe me. He gave me a look that said ‘bullshitter’.

“No, Jazz. You’re not okay,” Landon said, clearly knowing something was wrong.

I glanced down, unsure of what to say. I wanted nothing more than to open up to these people, but I barely knew them. I guess I needed to find my place first.

“Landon Patrick Lander. Don’t you dare interrogate her,” Phyllis shouted at her son. “She’ll come around, just give her some time. Right, sweets?”

I nodded my head then gave Landon an apologetic smile. I knew he was just trying to get me to lean on them, but I didn’t mean to get him in trouble.

“Whatever’s going on, I want you to know we’re your family. No matter what. If you don’t feel like you can talk to us now, when you do, we’ll always be here.”

“Thank you. I’m sorry for being standoffish. I feel comfortable around you guys, I do. It’s still just a little weird. I want to be able to tell you both everything, but I have to be honest, with the things that have happened, you’re probably better off not knowing.”

Phyllis and Landon stared at me attentively. I could tell Landon was a great judge of character and Phyllis had just been concerned, but that wasn’t all I saw. For the first time in almost four months, besides with Dr. Aimee, I witnessed two people who worried about me. They might not know me the way they should, but they were fretful and wanted me to feel comfortable.

“That’s where you’re wrong, niece,” Landon said, keeping his eyes trained on my face. “We want to know everything. The good, the bad, the ugly. Whatever you’ve got going on, we’re here for you, Jazz. We’re your family.”

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. I had done enough for an army these last couple of months. Today, I had wanted to be strong. I needed to show the Lander’s I could take care of myself so they weren’t concerned for my well-being.

“Thanks,” I bowed my head then lifted my hand to my right eye, pushing the tear away.

“It’s been a long three months, and I still have a lot to deal with. I really just came by to say I hadn’t forgotten about you all and to let you know that I was okay. You don’t have to worry about me.”

Phyllis sat her mug down, not taking her eyes off me. “We’ll always worry about you, sweets. Always. You’re our granddaughter. I wish we could have gotten to you a whole lot sooner, but we can’t go back. As much as we’d like to, we can’t. All we can do is move forward. But I have to tell you, we know more than you think we do and we’re not here to judge you or anyone else.”

I froze in my seat. What did they know?

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no…They knew about Brax and Anthony?

“Hey…hey…” Landon moved around the table, pulling out a chair next to me. He sat down, wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and gave it a squeeze.

“It’s okay. I promise,” he said with reassurance.

I shook my head, unable to grasp at what was happening.

“It’s not okay, Landon. None of this is,” I feared, wanting to leave and never show my face around here again.

“My life…I’ve been through hell. I’ve lost my family, my friends. I’ve lost everyone because of Peyton and Anthony.”

I bowed my head, covering my face, and sobbed into my hands.

Two arms engulfed around me, pulling me close to Landon’s chest.

He gave me a few minutes to calm myself down. Then I was able to pull back away.

“Look, sweets. I know this has been hard on you. It’s been hard on all of us. Peyton was my daughter, my precious little girl. Imagine how Pat and I feel, having to hear what she had done.”

I felt so embarrassed. My fears were nothing compared to what Phyllis and Pat must have been feeling. But Phyllis was right, Peyton left herself a bad name and now her parents had to pick up the slack.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t even think about it that way. Brax and his family have been my only family for years. Brax is my life. We’ve spent every single day together. But the thought of being his half-sister is killing me. It’s wrong and disgusting, and at times, I don’t even want to live. I’m so grossed out by the thought of it all, it literally makes me sick.”