Lost Until You (The Sorrentino Brothers Series Book 1) (16 page)

Without waiting to hear the preacher’s final words, Brax grabbed my neck, pulling me into his embrace, and kissed me with so much passion, so much love, that I almost felt faint. Everyone stood up and cheered, and laughter filled the air.

When the preacher laughed and welcomed us as one, Brax scooped me up in his arms and walked me back up the aisle. We made it over to the hill, when he set me down and kissed me again.

“Thank you.” He kissed my lips. “Thank you so fucking much.” Squeezing me in his arms, our family and friends hooted and hollered, while we made out in front of everyone.

Brax was mine, all mine.

Always and forever.

**

“Jazzy, wake up.” I tossed to the side, unable to get warm enough.

“Get up, baby. It was just a dream. I’ve got you.”

I rolled over, pulling the pillow over my head, and hugged my body in a fetal position. 

My eyes flickered open, telling me that I was dreaming. It was all just a dream, but everything else was real. Everything we shared, all of the love we had—it was gone, really gone.

“No…” I screamed and grabbed at my legs, punching and hitting myself.

Don’t do this, God. Please. I can’t deal with any more pain. My heart hurts so much, I feel like I’m going to die.

Chapter Seventeen

Brax

She left. No one could find her anywhere. We searched my parents neighborhood, but she was nowhere to be found. Two and a half hours later, Tanya called Brix, letting him know she had Jazz with her and that she was safe. I tried to grab the phone out of his hands, but Brayden held me back.

“Step back, B. She’s fine. The girls have her. That’s the best we’ve got so far.” Brayden pinned me against the side of the house.

“Fuck off, Bray,” I snarled, needing to get to my wife. Jazz couldn’t run from me. I wouldn’t let her.

“You’re acting like a dick tonight, you know that?”

Brix shoved his phone in his pocket, giving me an excuse to push my little brother out of my way.

“Where are they at?” I pleaded with him for some kind of headway. I had to know something. I couldn’t just stand here, twiddling my fingers while my girl was out there hurting. I had to get to her.

Brix shoved his phone in his front pocket, then crossed his arms over his chest. “She’s fine, cuz. Kelly’s driving them back to her condo.”

“Good,” I said, pulling out the keys to my truck. “Let’s go, then.”

Brayden stepped in front of me, blocking my view. “Not so fast, B.”

I looked at him muddled. “I’m going to my wife, Bray. No one can stop me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, man.” Brix grabbed a hold of my arm. “She doesn’t want you there.”

I leered over at him, pushing his arm off me. “You think I give a fuck, Brix? I’m going whether Jazz wants to see me or not. I can’t lose my fucking wife.”

“Look—” He rubbed his hand over his face. “She’s fine. T said she would call as soon as they got Jazz settled. Give her a little bit and I’ll call you. Once I know everything’s good, I’ll see what I can do about getting you over there.”

“Did T say where Jazz ran to?”

Brix shook his head like he didn’t want to say it. “The park.”

What in the hell was she thinking? The park was at least a mile from my parents house. It was dark as shit up there.

“She’s good, man. Just let her be.”

That was all I needed to know. I had been worried sick, not knowing where Jazz had run off to. I knew everything hit her all at once, but I wished she would have just stayed back and talked to me. We were in this together. Jazz wasn’t by herself. Fuck, I needed my girl. I needed to hold her in my arms and tell her I loved her. I needed to feel her lips pressed against mine and promise her I would never let her go, no matter what.

Ma came out front after the baby fell asleep and talked a few minutes. She agreed to keep Savanah for the night so I could calm my shit down. I had to come up with a plan. I needed to know the truth. But first, I wanted to see my wife.

Everyone left my parents except for Brix. He sat and talked with Ma and me for a while, until she said she needed to get some rest. I tucked the baby in the portable crib we kept at her house, and turned on the monitor. Handing it to Ma, she gave me a kiss and said, “Please get some rest, B. It’s been a long day. I’ll call you first thing in the morning.”

“I’ll try,” I said, and told her goodbye, then locked up the house, following my cousin down the driveway. I hopped in the truck, not knowing where I needed to clear my head.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but if I were you, I would need to be with my girl. Fuck, man.” He looked down at the ground. “This is some messed up shit.”

“You ain’t kidding.” I stared at the front of the house, trying not to lose my cool. I had blown up so many times tonight, I didn’t know which direction I was coming or going.

“Well, look,” Brix swung his keys between his fingers. “I’m headed over to pick T up. I’ll check on Jazz and give you a call. You’ll be good in the meantime, right?”

I shook my head. “Yeah, man. I’m probably just going to drive around for a while.”

“It’s after eleven, man. Go home and get some rest.”

“Ha!” I laughed. “If it were that simple, Brix, I’d be fine with it, but I can’t sleep without my girl.”

My cousin nodded his head, understanding how I felt. This was one fucked-up situation.

“All right, man. I’ll get with you. Keep your phone on and don’t drink and drive.” He got in his truck and pulled off.

I followed behind him, turning off before he pulled into Kelly’s condo complex. I knew if I just showed up, the girls were going to be pissed. Jazz came before I did with them, so it was best if I just waited it out. As much as I wanted to say fuck it and barge through Kelly’s door, I wasn’t a fool. I knew better than to do anything stupid. Kelly would have my ass.

I drove over to the local pub and went inside to have a few beers. The bar was packed from the Raven’s game earlier tonight, while everyone sat around, mingling amongst one another. I saw a guy from one of the plumbing companies I had used in the past. We talked a few times here and there when we ran into each other.

Denny and I drank a few beers and talked for a little over an hour when my cell phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out and hit send, without bothering to check and see who it was.

“You around?”

“Yeah. She all right?” I asked Brix. If he said no, I didn’t know what I would do.

“Just come by, dude, but be quiet. T said the first peep you make, you’re leaving.”

I hung up the phone and dug in my pocket, throwing a twenty on the table. Grabbing my jacket, I told Denny that I had to run. I only had three beers and probably shouldn’t have been driving but nothing could stop me. Not when I needed to be with my wife.

I drove around the corner to Kelly’s condo and walked up to the door. When I lifted my hand to knock, the door swung open. Tanya grabbed me by the shirt, yanking me inside the condo.

“Shhh…” she said and then led me into the kitchen.

Kelly, Brix, and Stone were sitting around the table. They all looked up when I walked in, evidently surprised to see me.

“What the fu—” Kelly started to yell, until Brix cut her off.

“It was me,” he told her. “I called him.”

She whipped her head around and glared at my cousin. “She asked for some damn privacy, y’all. This isn’t right.”

My blood was boiling. I knew Kelly was Jazz’s best friend, but for fuck’s sake, Jazz was my wife.

“Whether you want me here or not, I’m not leaving.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I know it’s been a long night and I promise I won’t cause any trouble. I just want to make sure she’s all right and then I’ll let her be.”

Kelly turned around in the chair without saying another word. I took that as my cue and walked down the hall, hoping Jazz was asleep. I didn’t know if she would talk to me, but I had to at least try. I needed her to know that I loved her. I had to be sure she hung to our marriage on and didn’t give up on what the two of us shared.

As I cracked open the door, I peeked inside, finding Jazz laying on the bed sound asleep. I made my way over to the side of the bed, pulling a chair out from the desk.

Soft snores echoed throughout the room, but I couldn’t just up and leave. I had to be there. I needed this just as much as Jazz needed me. I was fucking lost without her.

I didn’t know how long I sat there staring at her beautiful face, when she started whimpering. I sat up in the chair, unsure what to do, until she spoke our vows aloud, and then started sobbing. That was when I fucking lost it. I got on my knees and grabbed her hand, letting her know that it was okay. That I was right there with her. Jazz stayed asleep, attached to her dream, not wanting to let go.

My mind was baffled. Jazz couldn’t be my sister. There was no possible way. I believed what Brix and Brayden said earlier tonight. If anything, Jazz looked like her mom and maybe resembled a little bit of Uncle Teto. But not my dad. She didn’t look like him or any of my brothers.

There had to be a way to fix this shit. There had to be a way to win her back. I couldn’t risk the chance of not only losing my daughter, but losing the love of my life as well. I couldn’t allow my family to be torn apart.

When Jazz looked like she had fallen back to sleep, I pushed back the chair and climbed in the bed beside her. I wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her against my chest.

Just like any other time, Jazz nestled her body into my embrace. I was able to hold my wife and drift into a somber rest, feeling peace again for the first time today.

**

The sun crept through the blinds, letting me know it was morning. I rolled onto my back and opened my eyes, stretching my arms above my head. I rolled back to the side and came face to face with Jazz. When I lifted my head, I caught her staring intently at me. I raised my hand, pushing her hair out of her face.

“Hey, baby.”

Jazz’s eyes filled up with tears, and at the very moment, I wanted to kick my own ass for opening my mouth. Maybe I shouldn’t have come over here last night; however, I was afraid to go home. I had never spent a night without Jazz in my arms since we had first gotten together. Everywhere she went, I followed behind her and vice versa. We were inseparable.

But I took a chance, anyway, and leaned in, brushing my lips against hers. Jazz didn’t move, didn’t budge. She didn’t kiss me back.

I let go of my hold around her, giving her some space. I sat up, cradling my face in my hands, and allowed my own tears to fall.

“I’m sorry, B,” Jazz whispered so softly.

I sat back, resting against the headboard. “You didn’t do anything to be sorry for, baby. This isn’t our fault. We didn’t know. I had no idea my father went out on my mom. From the way they had always been mushy and shit, I guess I just assumed they shared the same kind of love like you and me.”

“But it’s wrong, B. I can’t continue on like this.”

My heart stopped beating. I couldn’t believe she had said that to me. Our marriage wasn’t something you just threw away. We were united as one. Splitting up wasn’t an option.

“What if we’re not related, Jazz? Then what? We just throw everything away because you’re too scared to find out?”

I stood up from the bed. “This is bullshit and you know it.” I reached down and grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet. I wrapped my arms around her waist, refusing to let go. “I’m not giving up on us. I refuse. We have a daughter who needs us both together, not just one or the other.”

Jazz shifted her head to the side of my chest so she couldn’t look at me. I grabbed her face, holding it in front of me, and cried, not caring if she wanted to push me away.

“I love you, baby. I love you so fucking much. I can’t let you go.”

I pulled her against my chest and sobbed as I held her in her arms. Jazz didn’t touch me, but she didn’t push me away either.

We stood there and I cried for everything we lost, everything we shared, and everything we knew we would face in the coming days. I kissed the top of her head then released her from my arms. She sat down on the mattress, staring at the floor.

“For what it’s worth, I’ll always love you. But this,” she said and looked up, pointing between the two of us. “This is over. We can’t continue our relationship.”

I shook my head, understanding why she felt like she had to give up. Not only was this a lot to handle, it was morally wrong. If, in fact, we were related, it wouldn’t be safe for Savanah or our future children.

Even though Savanah had been healthy, I wasn’t about to bring that up to Jazz. Not right now. She didn’t need the added stress with everything else going on.

I bent down on one knee and brushed her hand across my lips. “No matter what happens, no one will ever replace you. I won’t give up on us. I won’t move forward until I can prove we were made for each other.” I kept her fingers on my mouth for a few more seconds, and then stood on my feet, setting her hand down on her leg. Even though this was the hardest thing I had ever done, I made my way over to the door, giving Jazz the time she needed away from me.

I reached for the handle then turned around to face her one more time.

“I love you, Jazzy. I'll never let you go.” I stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind me. I took a deep breath and forced myself to leave. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.

I walked through the living room, stopping at the front door. Brayden was sitting on the couch drinking his coffee.

“You good, man?”

I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to throw any more shit on him. Brayden had a life; he had a career, something to look forward to. This wasn’t his problem. I had a lot to do, but I refused to bring my little brother down. I hurt enough for all of us.