Authors: Kishore Modak
All night, I
rediscovered the wonders of nature entwined in my lover on the deck of the
Southern
Cross
. Near dawn, when it got chilly, we entered the living chambers of
the floating palace, tucking ourselves in the warmth of down that was laid out
for us.
When I awoke, I
was alone with no trace of anyone else on the Yacht. The sun was well up. From
the deck, it took me a few minutes before I noticed the form of Thuy Binh in
the water, at least a few hundred meters away, swimming with vigour for the
exercise that she craved each day. I too swam, trying to make good the resolve
of a life athletic. Bobbing in the sea, I saw the vessel shimmering in the sun,
Southern
Cross
scribed aquamarine across her bow.
“There is way of
life possible long term on the sea,” she said later, eating fruit with
champagne, chocolates and ice-water for breakfast. “One can sail, just
following the calm parts of the ocean all year, settling for a quiet yet
energetic life,” she said, feeding me halves of grapes which she was de-seeding
with her teeth, as if for her Lord.
At that point I
fought the notion, but it remains the only style of life that I want, sailing
with her forever in calm tropical seas, because, when she wanted to, the
lesbian bitch, she could make happy any man alive.
We massaged oil
unhurriedly and luxuriously into the others body, before lying listless for a
few hours that morning. When I asked for more champagne, she refused to let me
have it “You need to be yourself, for I know not what you will turn into after
this afternoon.”
* * *
Much later that
afternoon, after the crew steered us ashore, we were driven by a taxi to the
destination that Thuy Binh declared “East Coast Park, Car Park D”.
“Promise me you
will take care of yourself, no matter what you may encounter today,” she said
as we were driven.
“What is Li Ya
doing here in Singapore?” I asked again, nervous with a tremble to my tone,
unable to contain my anxiety anymore.
“All will be quiet
and peaceful; I kept telling Miho through bad times, we must simply do our
best. The Lord favours the compassionate,” she tried to calm me. Instead, I
sensed a quickening in the pace with which she delivered words. They were not
spoken at her natural speed, an outcome of what she alone knew. Nervousness of
the soother, it is shattering.
My first glimpse
of Li Ya was from the concealment of bougainvillea, no more than thirty metres
from the swing on which she swayed. She had grown at an almost unbelievable
pace, as kids do at that age. She looked well and was smiling. When I wanted to
rush towards her, Thuy Binh kept her palm on my shoulder, pulling me back “See
it all before you make your next move.”
I took a step
back, moving behind the foliage that kept us hidden from view.
A few of Li Ya’s
friends appeared, looking into their phones and giggling, not unlike any group
of teenagers from across the world’s cities.
“What is she doing
here,” I begged, but Thuy Binh simply asked that we follow Li Ya, who had moved
towards the row of apartments across the highway that separated the park from
the housing estate. We followed her at a distance, Thuy Binh’s arms held mine
as she steadied me to the shock of revelation.
Li Ya headed to
the coffee shop nestled between the apartment blocks. She sat on a table where
Fang Wei was already seated, weary from a day at work.
“What are they
doing together?” I blurted. Before Thuy Binh could reply, Georgy entered the
picture, moving directly towards Fang Wei, pecking her on the lips before
turning to Li Ya, giving her a hug.
I crumbled,
sinking to the manicured meadow that lined the driveway. It was dark and we did
not need hiding anymore since the cafe was lit and we were well away, masked by
the dark dead evening.
Thuy Binh grabbed
me by the arm and helped me up, holding on to me as I blabbered “What is going
on? Let me go, I want to see Li Ya, please let me go, I want to see my little
baby.”
“Yes, but please,
you must listen to me, give yourself some time, I have all the answers for you
and once you hear them, then you can see her. I will help you. Come now we must
go,” she led me away onto the main street before she hailed a cab, carrying us
away, back to the Marina again.
Georgy, he was
clearly living with Fang Wei, as if married. Were they married? I could
understand that a woman may seek comfort in moments of failed femme-weakness
following the loss of her family, but, Li Ya too seemed to be a part of their
life, smiling, deciding upon dinner.
A picture flashed
across my mind, Georgy fucking Fang Wei, a part of it was indirectly he
screwing me. Were they seeing one another even before me and Fang Wei
separated?
“Please Thuy Binh,
I have to see my daughter and know what happened to her in Pattaya, please take
me back,” I was weeping. The old taxi driver simply increased the tempo on his
car-stereo, wanting not to pry, having had enough of others’ secrets in a life
time behind the wheel.
“I will tell you
what happened to her in Pattaya, and, when you are yourself tomorrow you decide
who all you want to see and what all you want to do,” she comforted me, almost
cradling me in the back seat.
On the Yacht, I
asked for whiskey instead of champagne and she let me have it, a few drinks
before she said “Its time I tell you everything.”
After we sat down
she uncovered the pieces of my life story that existed without my knowledge. I
soaked in disbelief, preparing questions that only an auditor can serve up
before tallying accounts that are put forth.
She began.
“It was never my
intention to kidnap your daughter and when the proposal presented itself, my
natural reaction was to reject it, which I did. You may know by now I don’t
like making enemies for small profits. It was your wife and her boy-friend who
insisted on pursuing matters, and when I refused, they turned to others in
Bangkok who agreed to execute their silly plan of nabbing your daughter. The
prostitution mafia is run on turfs, and mine ends in Pattaya. It is a fine
balance and the truce amongst the provinces is a fragile one. An operation on
my turf by a rival mafia from Bangkok was unthinkable since it dilutes the one
thing that helps me run the ring,
fear
that others hold in my name.
Kawai runs the entire strip in Patpong and called to say that if I don’t
execute the job in Pattaya - on my turf where your wife was sure you would
agree to get-away - he and his filthy boys would. I was left with little choice
but to accept your wife’s offer; because there was no way I was going to let
Kawai and his dogs into my town, enjoying my stuff.”
“Isn’t a job as
small as this meaningless in the context of your larger trade, for both you and
your rival Kawai?” I asked, meaning to extract the information I could, before
deciding upon my next action, annihilation of Georgy on the flames of Fang
Wei’s body.
“Yes it is,
monetarily speaking; but in terms of a territory it presented an avenue for
Kawai to enter my turf. And this we could not allow. In Pattaya, I am the one
who keeps a track of all dealings transacted.” She made complete sense and I
asked her to continue.
“Your wife
introduced Miho to Li Ya on the morning of the abduction. The plan was to have
Miho befriend Li Ya and then they could stay together for a few days as play
mates, like a surprise that you and she had planned for their little child. The
entire episode was smooth and did not require any degree of force or unevenness
through it all.”
“You mean Li Ya
stayed with you? For how long was she with you?”
“She was with us
for two weeks, mostly playing in the sea on the islands with Miho, before we
had the police find her and return her to her mother in Singapore, as per her
mother’s instructions. I understand that by then her disappearance had served
its purpose. I can assure you, in that period of fourteen days when she was
with us; no harm of any nature befell her. I think she still believes it was a
planned surprise by you and your wife for her.”
I realised later,
that prostitutes retain the choice of their eventual identity of trade. Miho
was Burmese, simply adopting far eastern names and mannerism, since it pleased
her. She was just another fruit of the mighty Mekong, wandering before choosing
a Japanese way to be perceived in. She must have been lost, before Thuy Binh
sheltered her, accepting her silly Japanese garb and weapons, insulating
against those who knew of her reality.
Prostitution may
be the only non-criminal profession that allowed the adoption of a garb and
identity that its tradesperson may want to adopt. It is best though to be
oneself, even if the opportunity of metamorphosis presents itself, since a
disguise discovered usually leads to tragedy in the trade of bodies.
I gulped down
another double from the bottle besides me. The sea turned choppy and the
anchored yacht bobbed about in the onslaught of waves. A lightning flashed on
the waters, letting us wait for its thunder.
Fang Wei and
Georgy had kidnapped Li Ya, so I would disintegrate and crumble away from their
lives, leaving them to build back a life of their own.
Without this
elaborate scheming, they knew a divorce would be long in coming, and when it
came it would carry unfavourable terms, since the law biases gains in favour of
those who do not cheat on their spouse, especially with the spouse’s friend, a
detail no judge ignores. In short, with a few bold moves from my wife, I was
removed and a new family got born, without the stretched out nature that such
affairs ordinarily take and without the loss of money that such matters demand.
Had Fang Wei’s infidelity surfaced in a court of law, she would stand to lose
and would have to settle for a life anew with Georgy, building back rather than
building on what was ours. Legally speaking, Li Ya’s custody would also be
debated under the circumstance of her mother’s illicit lover entering the
picture as Li Ya’s new father. She would have lost custody of Li Ya, if my
lawyers became persuasive and adamant.
At the Audit firm
too, it would be sympathy for me and lengthening shadows of doubt on Georgy,
after all who can trust the fate of a company in the hands of a man who cheats
his friend’s wife.
In time, my wife’s
adultery and deceit assumed a new dimension, leaving mundane the thought of
another aside of a spouse. Sexual consumption is the culmination of a mental
chain, leading to the loss of thought-fidelity that some of us succumb to. In
other words, it is a simple physical act, like throwing a ball in the air.
Immediately
though, the predominant sentiment that came over me was relief, relief in
knowing that a child had not been consumed and destroyed by the gruesome trade
of flesh.
Strangely, my
spontaneous anger towards Georgy and Fang Wei subsided, maybe since by now we
had been apart for over a few years. The years would slowly consume them in
their own boil of guilt, lies that they told, Li Ya being the poison
ingredient. They would have made me out to be a villainous-snake, a substance
addict, a whore seeker, a deserter; a plethora of lies before Li Ya was
convinced at vomiting out of her system the love that I knew she held for me.
All aspects that pained me were about Li Ya, and the broken paternal link that
remained for me alone to dwell upon.
“But, we lodged a
complaint with the police?”
“I don’t use the
word
turf
loosely. On my turf it all happens on my terms. The police
have rules and if you understand those it is easy to achieve what you want,
which in our case is always complete control. Li Ya was insulated from it all
and never had to see a uniformed man through the two weeks that she stayed with
us. In fact, it was Miho and the Doctor who accompanied her on the flight back
to Singapore,” she said, as a soft rain blew in with the west wind. We moved to
the shelter of the teak bar besides the upper deck of the
Cross
,
insulated from the rain but still out-of-doors and enveloped by the darkness of
a mild storm. Only the mast light of the Yacht visually screamed its disastrous
presence to any other floaters that may pass by.
My mood was one of
letting drowning souls sink. “Do you love me Thuy Binh?”
“Yes. I love you
today and I loved you yesterday. Yet tomorrow, it will not be an expression
that will jump to my mind,” she turned cold, preferring the Pashmina to my
arms, against the winds picking up around us.
“I can’t let them
rip my daughter away while I sit and watch what I built all my life destroyed,”
my need for action, mostly to reach Li Ya, I knew could be facilitated only
with Thuy Binh and Miho by my side. To their orchestra, anything could be made
to dance.
“That is for you
to choose and device. I just want to stand clear, knowing that there is no ill
will between us,” she said, laying out a salad of ham and cheese between us.
“Tomorrow, I will
head back and see Li Ya. She will see I have been cheated, and she will come,
from where I will build back my family,” the knowledge of Li Ya’s safety led me
to the possibility of including her back in my life.