Read Losing Nuka (Litmus Book 1) Online
Authors: Kayla Howarth
“Argh! Son-of-a … That’s cheating, Nuka,” he wailed, holding his cheek.
“Come on, you can take it. I thought you were too fast for me anyway?” I smirked.
Rage filled his eyes. Throwing out the detailed routine Lia had made for us to practise, he lunged for me and we got in our first real fight.
There was yelling, and screaming, and fists being thrown haphazardly. He tackled me, and on our way crashing to the ground, I used my leg to kick him in his gut. Using his weight against him and the momentum from my foot to lift him in the air, I flipped him over my head.
He landed on his back with a loud thud.
Lia came rushing outside. “What’s going on out here?”
“Training,” I said innocently, sitting up and shrugging.
“It doesn’t look like your set programme to me,” she accused.
I knew Will was going to tell on me; of course, he would.
“We just got bored of doing the same thing over and over again, Mum,” Will said. “We were just mucking around.”
“What happened to your face?” Lia asked with motherly concern.
“Oh, Nuka got me good. I let my guard down and she taught me a lesson,” Will said with a smile on his face, one I could tell was painful from the burn.
I sat there, shocked. He didn’t sell me out. Why?
“Just stick to the programme, okay, guys? It’s there for a reason. I don’t want either of you getting hurt.”
We both nodded and she went back inside.
“Screw the programme,” Will said, whisper-yelling. “That was so much fun.”
I laughed. “Me kicking your butt was fun? Wanna go again?”
“It’s on, bitch.”
I’m brought out of my reverie by Brett landing a punch to my jaw.
That cracking sound can’t be good.
A brand new kind of pain takes over my whole head.
My anger flares, and all I see is red. I’m angry at Brett for getting to me. I’m angry at myself for letting him. I hate that I’m beginning to miss my family. It’s ridiculous—I’ve spent the last three years avoiding them.
Why now?
Deep down, I begin to wonder if it’s because I’m realising they were right, but I shake those thoughts away. Cade wants me in her life. She said so.
A surge of energy fills my hands, setting my fingertips burning with heat.
“Are you okay?” Brett asks, breathlessly.
Even though my jaw feels swollen and tight, not to mention aching, I push through it. There’s so much energy building up, along with tension in my arms, neck, and back. I have to release it. Stepping forward, I go on the offensive and start hitting back.
Surprising myself, I actually make him wince in pain when my fist connects with his neck. I step back in surprise, but I don’t get the chance to do a happy dance before Brett is attacking me again. Throwing my arms up in defence, I try to channel the anger inside of me to my fingertips again. When they start to tingle with heat, I aim for his bare stomach and his beautiful abs …
No, not beautiful. Get your head in the game, Nuka.
He stumbles backwards when I push him as hard as I can, doubling over in pain from the burns on his stomach. While he’s hunched over, I take advantage, stepping forward and knocking him to the ground with an elbow to the back of his neck.
“Ah, shit,” he mutters. I go to hit him again, but he rolls over onto his back and throws his hands up in surrender. “It’s okay. You got it. You got me,” he says, his tone implying he’s in a lot more pain than he looks.
“Really?” My eyes light up.
He nods and then takes a moment to catch his breath and regain some composure. I turn to grab my bottle of water, but before I can take a step, Brett pulls me down on top of him. He wraps his arm around my waist and cradles my face with the other hand. “You did it, baby,” he says before completely taking me off guard, pulling my head towards his and touching our lips together.
I should pull away, but the excitement over beating him and the enjoyment from his tongue as I open my mouth to him—
holy crap, that tongue
—I give into it. It fills a void I didn’t even know was there.
He pulls me in tight before rolling us over so he hovers above me. He pulls his mouth away for a brief moment, staring into my eyes with a questioning glare. My lips rise into a half-smile, making him grin before taking my mouth with his again.
“What about … whoa.” Sasha’s voice comes from the doorway, making Brett scramble off me. He’s on his feet in less than a second, and I’m left lying on the floor.
I lift my head to look behind me at Sasha standing in the doorway, a smug grin plastered on her face.
“Training seems a lot more fun this afternoon,” she says, trying to hold back a laugh.
Sitting up, I turn to face her. “You wanted something?”
“Uh … never mind,” she says, rushing back out the door.
Now that she’s gone, I suddenly wish she hadn’t left. Now I’m alone with Brett again, I don’t know what to say. “Umm …”
“I guess that’s enough for today,” Brett says, not looking at me.
“Oh … okay. I guess I’ll hit the shower,” I say, climbing to my feet.
“Yup. We’ll pick it back up tomorrow. Uh … the training, that is … not the …” he sighs, “I’ll just see you tomorrow, ‘kay?”
I nod, turning to leave, but I pause in the doorway. “Do we need to talk about this … or?” I ask, looking over my shoulder.
“Nah, I’m good. You good?” He’s still refusing to look me in the eye.
“Got it. I’ll forget it ever happened.”
The look of relief filling his face is telling enough. This was a mistake.
MY FIRST TEST
“I’m going with you, and that’s final.”
“Why can’t Drake come instead? I need to talk to Declan, and I don’t want you listening in.”
Declan’s been getting impatient the last few times I’ve spoken to him on the phone. He’s worried about me, and I need to show him I’m okay. Not to mention, I’m missing him like crazy.
All I want is an afternoon without Brett. I haven’t had a break from him since we started training three weeks ago, and things haven’t been the same since we kissed. Anytime I mention it, he pushes me harder in training to try to get me to shut up. And it works.
“Drake has taken Sasha to … something. I don’t know, I wasn’t listening,” he says dismissively.
“Aren’t you
always
listening?”
“With this ability? If I did that, I’d go insane.”
“Will you tune out Declan’s and my conversation if you come?”
“No.”
“Why not?” I whine loudly.
He places a finger in his ear. “Can you not go so high pitched, please?”
“Why can’t I have a private conversation with my best friend?” I ask in a more rational, low tone.
“Security risk. Plus, you shouldn’t be seeing him at all. You’re still kind of bruised,” he says, cradling my face and running his thumb over my poorly makeup-covered cheek.
“Well, whose fault is that?”
He drops his hand and glares at me. “Yours, because you’re still letting me get a shot in. You do realise you have a test fight tomorrow with one of the other team members? You do realise they’re going to flatten you, right? We should be training, not going to see your boyfriend.”
I roll my eyes before giving him a pointed stare. “First of all—he’s not my boyfriend. Second of all, how will one more training session prepare me for something that’s happening tomorrow? Besides, I’ve managed to defeat you a few times now, you know.”
None of which were rewarded quite like that first time, though.
“All I want is to have a break, to hang out with my best friend. By myself.”
“Look, I’d let you go by yourself if they”—he points upstairs—“approved it. But until they give me the all clear, I have to be on you twenty-four-seven.”
“This
sucks.
”
Real mature, Nuka.
“Okay, Sasha.”
“I. Am. Not. Sasha.”
“Then. Stop. Acting. Like. Her.”
“Argh. You’re so impossible.”
***
We pull into the parking lot of the small shopping complex where Declan’s and my usual lunch place is. Declan’s already sitting at a table outside, drinking coffee. I’ve been so pissed off at Brett and his attitude that I’ve been too distracted to get nervous about this little chat Declan and I are supposed to be having.
He’s back with Cassia, I just know it, and I don’t want to hear it. I’ve prompted him on the phone to just tell me what he needs to talk about, but he says he wants to do it in person. This only fills me with dread.
Please don’t let them be engaged, or having a baby, or something equally as stupid.
“Are you going to get out of the car?” Brett asks. “Or just sit here all day and stare at him?”
“Fine,” I mumble, opening the door. Brett opens his too and goes to step out when I pull him back in the car. “Where are you going?”
“I’m coming with you.”
“I can’t even talk to him alone? You could still eavesdrop from here, why do you have to come in?”
“I don’t have to, but I want to. I want coffee.”
“Oh … Just don’t sit with us, okay?”
“Aww, you don’t want me to meet your boyfriend? I’m crushed,” he says sarcastically. The frustration growing between us is palpable until he suddenly smiles at me. “You’re really nervous, aren’t you? Why should you be nervous if he’s ‘just your friend’?”
Ignoring his question, I get out of the car and walk ahead without waiting for Brett. He catches up easily and slings his arm around my shoulder.
“What are you doing?” I nudge him with my elbow, trying to break free of his grip.
He smiles down at me, seemingly no longer angry. “You make this so easy.”
“Make what so easy?”
“Drake’s right—messing with you
is
fun.”
“You are such an ass.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“I guess I do call you that a lot,” I mumble.
He finally pulls away from me and heads inside, completely chuffed with himself. He even nods to Declan as he walks by. I want to wipe that arrogant look off his face.
I make my way over to Declan who’s looking at me with horrible puppy eyes and a confused expression.
Suddenly my anger towards Brett dissipates, and it’s just me and Dec. He stands as I run up to him and throw my arms around him. We don’t even need words.
Damn, he smells good.
He smells like home, like innocent childhoods and playgrounds and school, when everything was perfect. We stay locked in an embrace for a lot longer than necessary, but I don’t care.
He finally pulls away and gestures for us to sit but then looks inside at Brett standing in line and then back at me.
“Don’t even ask,” I say, sitting down across from him.
“Okay.” He drags out the word. “Did you want anything to drink? Eat?”
“I’ll get it in a minute. I don’t want to go inside while
he’s
still in there.”
“Who
is
he?” he asks, taking a sip of his coffee.
“He’s kind of my bodyguard.”
Declan sprays some of his drink while trying not to choke. I think I even see some come out his nose, which brings a smile to my face.
“Bodyguard? Why do you need a bodyguard?”
I shake my head. “Long story. Bottom line is bio mum is rich, meaning both my sister and I are guarded all the time.”
“You seem like you already know him pretty well,” he says, peering at me over the top of his coffee cup. “Just the way you interact,” he adds.
“Yeah. I certainly know he’s a dick.”
Declan chuckles at that, and Brett turns around from inside to glare at me. I shrug at him.
“I already know him better than my mum anyway. I see more of him than I do of her. Apart from our family dinners that only happen a few times a week, I barely see her.”
“Not going well, then?”
I shrug. “She didn’t even believe who I was at first. She didn’t believe I was hers until a DNA test confirmed it. A DNA test she didn’t even consult me about.”
Declan winces. “Ouch.”
“It just hasn’t been how I imagined it would be. I guess I always thought I’d either be welcomed with open arms or shunned completely. This in between business is weird. It’s not too bad. I just … I started working for them, thinking that I’d get to spend more time with her, but it hasn’t really panned out that way.”
“You’re working for them? What are you doing?”
Brett, who’s just getting to his seat a few tables away, shoots me a warning look.
“Just, bar stuff.”
“You work at a bar? Which one?”
My hand reaches for my hair, flattening it across my forehead. “Oh … umm … you know, doing behind the scenes stuff. You wouldn’t be able to come visit or anything. I’m in the office a lot.”
Wow. I suck at lying, and I think Declan knows I’m not telling the truth.
“Okay. So what’s your sister like?”
“Amazing. But I’ll tell you all about her after I order some food,” I say, getting up to head inside. “You want anything?”
“Just another coffee. I’ll just steal some of your food.” He grins.
“So the usual, then?” I always make it a point to order extra fries wherever we eat. Dec is constantly stealing off my plate.
After ordering, I sit back at the table and talk to Declan about Sasha and how we’re spending all our spare time together. I don’t mention that I don’t get a lot of spare time these days because I’m locked in a room with Brett for the most part, trying to not have the crap beaten out of me.
I feel myself light up when talking about Sasha and the house I’m living in. I tell him everything I’m able to without crossing
that
line.
“You look happy,” he says. “I haven’t seen that smile for a few years.”
“I guess I’ve been feeling pretty lost since I found out the truth about my parents, and I kind of feel like I’m doing something about it now. And while I still don’t know Cade all that well, I’m just thankful that I’m getting the chance to know her. She’s taken me in, and I think I at least owe it to myself to see where it could go, even if she hasn’t been the friendliest so far. Sasha just says that’s her.” I shrug. “From what I can tell, we’re completely different people, so that doesn’t help. I have her hair, so does Sasha, but apart from that, we don’t have much in common. Cade’s very business focussed. You know me—not much can keep my attention for long.”
“So you’re not going to mention how you got the black eye?”
My eyes dart to his.
Damn it.
I thought he hadn’t noticed seeing as he didn’t bring it up when he first saw me or in the time we’ve been sitting here. “Oh, that,” I say with a dismissive laugh. “I was just mucking around with Sasha. You know how Will and I used to get.”
Declan nods but I’m unsure if he’s buying it. “Look, if anything’s going on—”
“There’s not. I swear.” I swallow the lump in my throat.
Declan goes to say something else when we’re interrupted by our food being delivered. After the waiter leaves, Declan starts chowing down. I’m glad I decided to get him his own plate. I’m starving. All this training has almost doubled my appetite.
“I’ve missed you,” I say with my mouth full.
The corner of his mouth tips up into a smile. “You know what I’ve missed?”
I look at him expectantly.
“Not having you in my bed every night,” he whispers, leaning forward and reaching for my hand on the table.
As innocent as he means it, I can’t stop the heat from flooding my cheeks. I ignore it, hoping he doesn’t notice it.
“It’s been weird not having your stinky breath waking me up.” I say, expertly making a joke to cover the fact I’m uncomfortable.
“Oh really? Stinky breath, hey?” he asks letting go of my hand and leaning back in his chair.
I want to say,
“No, not really. I miss your morning breath,”
but that would be crossing a line. A line we can’t cross. Not to mention it sounds a little creepy … okay, a lot creepy.
Declan glances over his shoulder at Brett. “At least he’s decent enough to give us some privacy.”
I scoff. “Sorry, not a chance with him nearby. He has like super hearing, and it’s super annoying. I haven’t had a private conversation in weeks, and from what he’s told me, it’ll be a while before I will.”
“Well, that makes what I want to say a little bit more difficult to get out.”
My heart starts thumping in my chest. “Oh?”
Here it comes. The thing I’ve been avoiding asking him about all arvo, and the thing he has wanted to tell me for weeks.
Declan swallows, goes to open his mouth to say something, but freezes. Slowly turning in his chair, he glances over at Brett again. Brett’s looking the other way, drinking his coffee and pretending he’s not listening. I know better.
“What exactly is your mother involved in?” Declan asks, turning back to me. “I get she has money, but constant twenty-four-hour surveillance? It’s a bit extreme, isn’t it?”
“It is. But they have
a lot
of money. They’re worried about me or Sasha being kidnapped, or something. I never quite figured it out myself.”
“But—”
“Can we just get to what we’re here to talk about?” I ask quietly.
Declan takes my hand again. “The morning of your birthday party, I was offered a job. Sort of an internship now that I’m so close to graduating.”
“That’s great. Why were you so worried about telling me that?”
“It’s in criminology.”
“Okay? And?”
“It’s in Special Ops on the police force.”
My hand pulls away from his when I realise what he’s telling me. “I thought you were planning on becoming a lawyer, not a cop. Why
that
department?
Why?
”
“Do you really think a rookie could go straight into an internship like this without the help of someone on the inside? I haven’t even done my basic training yet, and there are guys who’ve been on the force for years who don’t get this opportunity. The department had an opening and your mother pushed for them to offer it to me. I can’t turn it down. I leave for recruitment training in a few weeks.”
“She’s not my mother,” I say through gritted teeth.