Losing Her (27 page)

“You didn’t have to wake up and go out with us,” I whispered, noticing the large bag filled with books by the rear tire of their SUV.

“I wanted to spend time with my two favorite guys.” You flashed one of your infamous smiles, the same one that I’d found myself goofily grinning in response to without even realizing it on several occasions. “Besides, without me, you guys would’ve starved.”

“I told her we would have survived, but I’ll admit, I did forget about packing food. It’s been so long since I’ve been.”

I watched your dad zone out, recalling his last fishing trip. You make that same face when you work to remember something. It’s as though you guys were hitting the pause button on reality and pushed rewind, not allowing anything in the present to distract you until you located the correct memory.

After a few moments, his face lit up and his eyes cleared, returning to reality. He grabbed your bag and frowned. “Ace, you’re going to sink the boat. What did you pack in here?”

“Necessities!” You waved a hand in the air dismissively and turned to Zeus.

Your dad raised his eyebrows and turned to look at me. “Honey, we’re only going for the day.” He didn’t wait for a response. I don’t think he was expecting one since he was already loading your bag in the car.

“Are you guys ready to go?” David asked, closing the back of the SUV.

“Do I get to be called Captain?” you joked, climbing into the backseat. I watched you move over so you were behind your dad, silently giving me permission to sit up front or in the back.

I closed the back door, and climbed into the front passenger seat.

“So, Max, you and Jameson went fishing at the end of summer. Have you guys gone out since?”

As I turned to answer David, I saw you out of the corner of my eye, flipping through a book of CDs. “No, and I’m looking forward to fishing on a lake rather than the ocean.”

“Zeus is excited too, aren’t you, boy?” he called, sitting up straighter to look in the rearview mirror to see if Zeus moved from where he was sleeping beside you. He didn’t.

“Here, this will get us in the mood.” A shiny CD appeared between your dad and I and he smiled as he looked at it. Seconds later, Creedence Clear Water Revival poured through the speakers.

You knew every word to the songs on that CD. I knew this because you quietly sang along to several until you drifted into reading once there was enough sunlight. Little moments like that made me fall even harder for you.

We drove over two hours to get to the fishing spot that your dad said he used to frequent in years past, assuring us we were going to love it.

When we reached the small shack of a place that rented boats, your dad got out, whistling the song that had last played while we hung around by the car, allowing Zeus to stretch his legs.

“You’re pretty much the greatest, most wonderfully perfect boyfriend in the world!” Your arms wrapped around my waist. “Thank you for doing this.”

“I really like your dad, Ace. I’m happy to do this. You didn’t have to wake up early and spend your day out here.”

“I know. I just saw this as my only opportunity to be called Captain.” Your hand ran across my chest, making me smile.

“I love you, Ace,” I said, pressing my lips to your temple.

“Captain.”

I shook my head, laughing. “Right, Captain.”

Your dad returned, notifying us everything was ready with a giant grin. We pulled our things from the car, filling our arms with fishing supplies and coolers, and followed your dad down a beaten path to the edge of the lake where a small, dilapidated boat that looked older than our parents sat.

You stopped beside me and looked at the boat, then to me, then to your dad. “Do you really think we’ll all fit?” Your voice was even and surprisingly calm. The thing looked like a deathtrap.

“I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was a little concerned.” He scratched the top of his head and looked down at Zeus.

“Maybe I should wait in the car with him?” you offered.

“No, no, no. We’ll make this work!” He sounded determined. “Maybe we should leave some of this here though.”

We hauled the same load back to the car.

“Sorry about your bag, Ace,” your dad said as he packed it back in the car along with most of our gear.

“That’s alright. Thankfully, I have two copies of this book, so if we sink, I won’t be too disappointed with it being a casualty.”

Your dad and I both laughed at your joke, but it was a little awkward and forced. I could tell he was considering losing it as a valid outcome, just as I was.

We ended up only bringing only the bare essentials.

“Alright, Ace, you may have to sit by the engine, since you’re the lightest,” David instructed.

I knew that there was no chance in hell you would put a worm on a hook, you weren’t even intending to hold a pole, but you didn’t bat an eye as you walked toward the boat and climbed in. You held both sides of the old, rickety boat, and made your way to the back without glancing to either your dad or me for assistance or encouragement as the boat teetered below you.

Your dad looked so proud of you, Ace. I know you knew how much he loved you, but seriously, he really did think the world of you. He waved for me to get in next. Zeus followed, and then lastly your dad joined us.

Remember how you pleaded with us to tell you how to start the engine? You looked almost giddy as you resituated in the small space allotted and grabbed the engine cord. You gave it a valiant effort, pulling the cord several times. Each attempt only earning the slightest of whirs, before your shoulders slumped and you turned to look at us in defeat. “Apparently this is harder than it looks in the movies.”

It was hard to start, that boat was a wreck. Looking back, I’m shocked none of us objected to the idea of going out on it. Once the engine stopped coughing, we drove around the lake, looking for a good spot to cut the engine. We only passed two other boats as your dad yelled over the motor about where he used to stop.

He directed us to a small cove where we slowly moved around to get situated in the tight space as the wind and current already successfully pulled us a little further out.

The back of your calves rested on the edge of the boat, your black Converse covered feet hanging over the water. I tried not to stare at your bare legs. Looking at them made me picture them being wrapped around my waist. The mental image building in my head faster than I could process it was interrupted by your dad. Talk about a mood killer.

“I’m glad you thought to bring sun screen, kiddo. Max do you need anything?”

The question was just out of courtesy, since there wasn’t much to offer. We weren’t able to fit much of anything on the tiny boat. I shook my head and forced a smile to be polite.

I tried to focus my thoughts on things that were more appropriate over the next hour as we waited without receiving a single bite. Your dad helped shift my thoughts when he started telling me about a fish that had been on the news recently, that had been found in the lake we were on. He was telling me it had teeth closely resembling humans’.

I noticed you move out of the corner of my eye, and turned to see your neck straightened from where it had been bent over your book. I couldn’t see your face very well with the giant sunglasses you were wearing.

My attention turned back to your dad as he continued. “They said someone must have had it in captivity and released it when it either got too big or demanding.”

I was wondering how a fish could be too demanding when your voice made me turn. You sounded afraid. The only reason I knew that is because I’d heard it last summer when Zeus got hurt. “Like those fish heads.” You turned and looked at the water with a frown. “You really shouldn’t tell me these things while I’m on a boat that looks as reliable as a shipwreck.”

“Don’t worry, Ace. This boat is tough and dependable. She just needs some love. I’m sure we won’t come across any fish with teeth today.” He turned back in his seat, facing the front of the boat. He’d been fishing off of the right side of the boat, and I the left so our lines didn’t tangle. I’ve never thought about it, but you leaned back as well. Like his words settled the fear that had so quickly stirred to life in you, making me wonder if I was reading too far into it.

Zeus slept soundly, wedged between your dad and I, still damp from swimming in the lake while you and I got situated. The water lapped the edge of the boat, filling the air with soft, soothing sounds.

I felt your stare, and looked up to see the edge of your full lips pull up into a guilty smile. I would’ve given nearly anything to be alone with you. It’s a good thing there weren’t fish in that damn lake because I would have lost my fishing pole if I had gotten a bite. I wasn’t paying attention to anything but how much I wanted to touch every last inch of you.

You somehow managed to shift your weight and lean forward without making the boat rock. “I know what you’re thinking, and you need to stop. It’s ridiculously distracting.” Your lips barely grazed the top of my ear, sending a wave of heat through me as the temptation to touch you became overpowering.

My body leaned forward, closing the small space between us, and my fingertips glided along the smooth skin of your thigh. Your lips slightly parted as my hand traveled further up the inside of your thigh. I was caught off guard when I felt your leg go slack as I reached the edge of your shorts. The tips of my fingers entered the small gap between your shorts and inner thigh and swept across the edge of your panties. Your book fell to the floor of the boat with a thud and I pulled my hand back to my fishing rod as your dad turned around.

“Sor-sorry,” you stuttered, straightening and bending over to retrieve the book. “There was a spider on my leg.” Your lie was terrible, but completely believable since the boat was so filthy. I don’t know if he missed that your cheeks were pink, or just attributed it to the sun because he smiled and turned to face forward again.

You caught my grin and I saw you working to fight your own as you propped your legs back on the boat, slowly moving to emphasize the fact you were crossing your ankles before hiding behind your book again.

My body was still buzzing, knowing you were turned-on had half of my brain contemplating how to get you out on a boat in the near future so I could live out this new fantasy, while the other warred to focus on fishing or discussing something like baseball stats.

We fished for a few hours and it started to get surprisingly warm for the middle of November. I pulled off my sweatshirt and began explaining how the fishing boat I’d been on in Alaska, the Arctic Bull, operated.

I didn’t realize that you had stopped reading and were paying attention until you asked me a question about the cages we used for crabbing after I explained how heavy they are.

A few more hours passed with you lost in your fictional world. David looked around, scratching his head and telling me he couldn’t understand why we weren’t getting any bites. It didn’t matter to me; we were planning to release anyway. Plus, the day had been peaceful and the mood light.

A whining groan broke your dad’s proposal of moving, followed by a loud splash. I turned to look as you sat up and peered over the edge. We were swaying from the loss of weight from the motor.

You were still staring at the water when you asked, “I don’t suppose we have a set of oars, do we?”

I knew without looking that the boat of course didn’t, but your dad and I both looked down at the floor of the boat anyway, which indeed didn’t have any oars.

Your dad took it the best. Remember his reaction? He started with a quiet chuckle that caused the boat to rock as it grew. I don’t know if Zeus eventually sat up to see what he was laughing at, or because the boat was swaying so much but by that point your dad had folded his hand over his chest, his laughter still building. We joined him, laughing until our sides hurt.

“Well, I think we’re going to get our exercise in today.”

“Dad, I can’t.” You voice was somber again as your fingers wrapped around the edge of the boat. The morning after you and Kendall had gone skinny-dipping you told me you have no idea how Kendall talked you into going because you were terrified of water, but I thought you had been making a strange joke since Kendall giggled through your confession and you swam all of the time.

“It’s alright. We’ll just swim a short way to that bank and then walk around the rest of the lake,” he explained, setting his pole down and pointing to the shore.

“Short distance, short distance. They’re more afraid of me than I am of them.”

“You’re afraid of fish?” I thought aloud, hearing your quiet mantra.

“Some of them have teeth! And who knows what else is down there that I can’t see.” You stared at the water like you were willing it to expose secrets.

“Don’t worry, Ace. Nothing is in there. We’ve had bait on our hooks all day and haven’t had a bite.” You watched me set my fishing pole down, weighing my words as I pulled my sweatshirt back on, since I wasn’t sure of how else I’d be able to keep it. I was glad that we’d only brought a single pole out and weren’t able to fit a tackle box.

“It’s going to be a cake walk, Ace. You’re going to do great.” Your dad jumped out of the boat with that parting advice. His weight violently shifted the boat, sending you, Zeus, and me into the water as the boat tipped with little warning.