Lord of the Grrr's (15 page)

***

Jean had meant to drive out to Moonlight Canyon Saturday morning, to try and track down Chase, to get him to explain what was going on in her head. Events conspired against her, forcing the timetable for her departure to be moved up to Friday night.

Her episodes were increasing in frequency.

Just on Friday alone she had had to bring herself to furious climax in the elevator on the way up to her office. Thankfully it had been empty, so she had hit the emergency stop button while she had her orgasm.

The worst, however, had come on her way home from work on the bus. A man and a woman, clearly romantically involved, had linked hands in front of her. That had begun to stir the embers within her body no matter how she fought against it, but it wasn't until they kissed in front of her that she lost control completely.

The police had been called as she continued to masturbate somewhat discretely on the bus, having several explosive releases before she had been escorted off. Thankfully she had managed to avoid being arrested for indecent exposure, since she had never taken her clothes off. The officers had believed her quickly concocted story about being drunk, and had let her off with a ticket for public nuisance.

Now she was on the road, trying to focus on her destination as pressure grew in her head. The aching that came from between her legs in a low, constant throb combined with a headache made focusing on the drive all but impossible. She was losing her mind, she knew, and it didn't seem as if she was ever going to be able to regain control.

"You can do this," she mumbled to herself, trying to encourage her brain to focus. It wasn't that long of a drive.

"Only three hours to go." Only dimly aware that she was having a conversation with herself, Jean continued to drive, doing her best to focus on the road.

"I'm not going to make it," she whispered, rounding a bend in the road, where she could see a magnificent canyon off to the left.

"I'm not going to make it."

Chase

Saturday had gone by quickly for Chase. But there had been an eternity between Sunday and Friday. He wasn't sure how so much time could be jammed into so few days, but the clock had ticked by slower than seemed possible. The only moments where time had flown by had been the ones with Jean on his mind. Or more accurately, the times he had seen into Jean's mind.

"I'm telling you guys, it's not idle daydreams, I'm actually experiencing parts of her day. Why would I dream of her stubbing her toe? How does that make any sense? I'm telling you, I'm getting bits and pieces of her memories as they happen."

"That's impossible Chase, and you know it. Even with a full-blown bond it's almost impossible to have a vision of what people are doing. Feelings, urges…sure, those are feasible. But what you're describing isn't real. You didn't even bond with her." Holden was the practical one of the group and he had been laying out reasons against what Chase was saying the entire evening.

"So what are you saying then? That I'm just losing my mind, falling victim to the curse?"

The mood in the room instantly darkened as he lent spoken word to the unspoken thought that filled the room. The looks he received ranged from caution to outright worry. He was slipping, he knew it. They had gone for a run the other day, all six of the pack together. When they had come upon a stag, the others had been content to watch.

Not Chase. His wolf had given in to his namesake and took up pursuit, running blindly through the forest for almost an hour before he had managed to regain control. It was embarrassing to admit that he could no longer completely control himself.

It was also his biggest fear.

"Regardless of what it is," he snarled, pushing the thought away for the time being, "it's causing me to fall for her. I keep seeing this woman in my head. I want to hold her when she's in pain, she makes me laugh with her silly jokes. I don't know how else to explain it, but there is something there."

"Perhaps the bond took more than you thought," Ethan suggested, glad for the subject change.

"But wouldn't she then understand how I feel about her? How come she hasn't called or anything? I know she has my number, I put it in her phone myself and I told her."

"Perhaps she can see the real you, the true loser!" Bryce joked, ducking out of the way as Chase sent a pillow flying his way from one of the other couches. The five of them enjoyed a chuckle.

Chase was glad they were there, though he had to admit, he wished Jake would come to the gatherings more often. It was causing some undue tension in the group to have the alpha gone for so long. As the second-in-command, Chase could only contain them for so long.

As if he could read minds, the door swung open at that moment to admit Jake. A sigh of relief swept through Chase then, for it not only meant he could turn over control of the group to him, but he could also discuss his thoughts and fears with the most knowledgeable member of the group.

"Jake! Where you been man? We thought we had lost you to another dinner party. Or was it afternoon tea? I forget, they all seem to blend together."

Chase laughed along with the others at Kevin's outburst. Even Jake cracked a smile before pulling the chair out from under Kevin, to the amused shouts from the other shifters. It was good to have their leader back.

"Okay Chase," Jake said, sitting down next to him as the others went off to grab some food. "What's going on?"

He was unsure how Jake had instantly known that something was up, though it seemed obvious that someone else had mentioned to him that he needed to have a steadying talk with his second-in-command.

"You know as well as I do that I'm losing control. It's starting to happen, and it's going far faster than I had anticipated. If this keeps up, I'm likely to be a loose cannon by the end of the year."

He held up a hand to silence Jake, letting him know that he wasn't done talking."I'm scared, scared that I'm going to let you guys down. But that's not what is bothering me."

Now he had Jake's full attention, because if one of the most terrifying events that could happen to a shifter wasn't the sole focus of his concern, then it was serious, whatever it was. So Chase told him about the gala, meeting Jean, and how the two of them had instantly clicked. He told him about the trip to the clinic and the morning after.

"I lost control and tried to bite her. Hell, I
did
bite her, but I had just pierced her skin before she moved away. There was no instant bond formed or anything. She just screamed in pain, told me how weird I was and she booked it out of there."

"But that's not the full extent of the problem," he rushed on as Jake opened his mouth to speak. Right now he didn't need to hear a lesson on how what he had done was wrong. He knew that, but it had happened. It's not like he intended to go around doing it to every woman who would give him access to their neck.

"I've been able to see into her life this past week. I see certain moments, of pain, of happiness, sometimes of just dull monotony when she's at work. That's what I don't understand, what doesn't make any sense. I shouldn't be able to do that. I've never heard of such a thing, have you?"

His last words were practically a plea for confirmation that this wasn't an isolated incident. If Jake could just give him some knowledge that he wasn't the first, it would go a long way to soothing Chase's worries.

Jake blew out a breath slowly as the story wound to a close."Well, this is not good."

"What do you mean it's not good?" Now Chase was worried. He had been hoping to hear that it was the exact opposite.

"There haven't been too many occurrences of partial bonding, but I have heard of a couple. Both of them were very similar stories to yours. Are you able to contact this woman?"

"Uh…she has my number."

He winced at his own stupidity concerning the situation. The minimum he should have done was get her phone number. Instead all he had done was plug his own into her phone in the expectation that she would call him.

"Jake, what happened in those other stories? What are you avoiding trying to tell me?"

"Nothing good, unfortunately. To my knowledge, the woman usually becomes sexually obsessed with the male, to the point that anything that reminds her of him will set her off. In both cases that I've heard of, the women ended up completely losing their minds before the bond could be completed, and killing themselves to end it."

Chase listened in horror as Jake told him how it worked. As far as the Elders were aware, the animal part of a shifter started the bond, and the human part finished it. So when a situation like his arose, where the human part did not have a chance to bond, the female party was only locked in with the animal half.

Jean was being assaulted by the sexual desires of his wolf, and the only thing he could do to help her was to claim her. Jake wasn't sure, but he said that being in close proximity to each other might help. There wasn't much proof to go on there, since it was all hearsay.

"I need to find her," he said, feeling numb.

"You need to find her," Jake echoed, rubbing his forehead.

"What do you know of her?" he finally asked as the silence stretched on between them.

"She lives in Seattle, she writes a blog for an online magazine, and works in an office building downtown, making a decent living for herself. That's about it, besides her name."

"It may be enough," Jake said, rising from his seat. Chase stood as well, wondering what he was going to say. "You need to go after her, to find her. Whatever it takes, otherwise she's going to go crazy and it will be your fault. You can't let that happen to her. You're a better person than that Chase. I know you are."

There had never been any doubt in his mind about going after Jean once the terrible truth of what he had done had been unearthed, but to hear the confidence in Jake's voice helped a lot. It gave him some extra incentive, that not only did he have to right the wrong somehow with Jean, but that also he had to prove to his pack leader that he could be trusted.

"The only way to fix this is to claim her completely, isn't it?" he asked glumly, wondering if she would even give him a chance to explain.

"As far as I know, yes."

"Shit." He sighed, rolling his shoulders and pulling the keys to his truck out from his pocket. "Well, I had better get going then."

The two of them embraced quickly, then Chase ran to his truck, shouting a farewell to the rest of the pack, not wanting to waste yet another second. The Elders had never given Jake any idea of how long the process took for a human to lose their mind, so for all he knew, it could be too late.

He gunned the truck out of the campground, making a beeline for the highway on the other side of the city. The entire time he couldn't take his mind off of Jean. The things he had seen in his head had been endearing to him, especially the completely raw moments, the things that nobody else saw. He knew it was creepy, but since he couldn't stop the process, he could only enjoy what he experienced.

Once again he remembered a joke she had told her friend, the way the laughter had exploded through the connection, ensconcing him in a bubble of joy. It was impossible for him not to be falling for her after moments like that.

And now he had to try and convince her to spend the rest of her life with him if she wanted to live it normally. Of course, first he had to find a way to get Jean to even listen to him.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered, cursing himself once again for his lack of control with her. If he had only held on to his wolf, reined it in a bit tighter, then none of this would be a problem. The guilt ate away at him, gnawing at his stomach while he clutched the wheel tighter, as he took the turns just a bit faster than he should have.

His mind was so caught up in his guilt and the enormity of his task in locating one woman in metropolitan Seattle that he almost missed the broken railing next to the road. Slamming on the brakes he slowed to a halt, noting the skid marks and roughed up gravel of the shoulder. Craning his neck, he could see where a car had gone through the railing into the ditch beyond, coming to a stop against one of the trees that marked the forest line.

"Shit," he said, contemplating his situation for a moment before jumping out of the truck to render assistance.

Although he had to save Jean, his conscience would never let him live if someone died down there because he didn't stop to render aid. Chase was better than that and he knew it. He took tight control of his wolf before letting it come to the surface, using its eyes to help him better see the terrain as he half-ran down the slope to the car. The gloom was descending in the mountains now, preparing for the darkness that would be night.

The door was open on the driver's side, with no sign of anyone around or nearby. The windshield was still intact, so whoever was in the car must have been in good enough condition to go for help. Chase turned to go at that, planning to notify the state troopers, because there seemed to be nothing more he could do here.

Then the wind turned, bringing a scent to his nose from within the car. One that he knew intimately well after the past week.

"No fucking way," he breathed softly as that smell of cinnamon and something else wafted through his noise.

It was Jean.

He took another deep sniff and began to track her scent, once again using the tools his shifter half gave him. The trail led off into the woods, and though still strong, it was clear it had been at least an hour, if not more, since she had been present. That meant she could have gone a long way.

Chase's heart stopped as his brain ran through the computations to realize what was on the far side of the forest she had entered.

The gorge.

Shit, Shit, Shit! She's going to kill herself!

The horrific thought overrode anything else in his mind at that moment. He looked into the woods, knowing that if he went in his human form, he would never make it in time, if he wasn't too late already.

But did he trust his wolf?

The shifter half of him had gone berserk the last time he had changed. Would this time be any different? Chase didn't want to do it, but he knew that for Jean, he would have to try to stay in control. If this was to be one of his final actions, he wanted to know that he had done everything he possibly could to save her.

Steeling his brain and summoning up all the mental willpower he possessed, Chase called upon his wolf and prepared to do battle.

The onslaught was instantaneous, a ferocious, snarling, snapping presence that rushed into his brain with every intent of taking control and never letting go. He dove at his wolf within himself, fighting it with every ounce of strength he possessed.

While the fight went on, his body changed. His limbs shortened, massive paws forming out of his palms while his fingers reshaped themselves into long claws. Fur sprouted everywhere at the same time his face stretched and began to elongate into that of a wolf. In moments, the shift was over on the outside, but internally a war still waged.

His mind was torn and rent asunder, but still Chase fought against his wolf, giving as good as he got. The animal had strength but he had cunning, making it an evenly matched fight, until his wolf left an opening. Taking a chance, Chase surged ahead with every last ounce of strength, overpowering his wolf in one last, desperate bid for victory.