Long Time Coming (10 page)

Chapter 11

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T
hrough the rearview mirror of the Porsche he saw her car approaching. He slid from beneath the wheel and met her in the driveway as she got out of her car. Behind a pair of sunglasses, her unsmiling face looked small and pale. He felt a compulsion to place his arms around her.

He didn't. Nearly every time he saw her, she plucked a protective chord in him. He should know by now, especially after she'd had the guts to crash that bacchanal last night, that the lady's temerity was disparate with her size.

"What do you want, Law?"

"Whatever happened to hi?" Stony silence. "I've been waiting over half an hour for you to get home. Doesn't that rate a hello?"

"What do you want?"

So much for the friendly approach. Maybe sincerity would work. "For us to be friends.

Got a peace pipe?"

"Not funny."

He gnawed the corner of his lips with annoyance, knowing that to lose his temper now would be deadly to the purpose behind this surprise visit. The last thing he wanted was an argument.

She must not have glands, he thought nastily. That would explain why none of the tactics he used so successfully with other women worked on Marnie.

"Need help carrying that stuff in?" The backseat of her car was loaded with sacks of groceries and art supplies.

She mulled it over before giving in grudgingly. "As long as you're here, I could use an extra set of hands. Apparently there are no time clocks at the space center," she said as they took the path around to the back door.

"They're still working on that simulator. I told my superiors I had some personal business to take care of. Where's your key?"

He propped one sack of groceries on his knee while he opened the door. She preceded him inside. "Set them there on the table. I'll unload them later."

"We'll unload them now. Otherwise your ice-cream will melt," he said, removing his sunglasses to peer into one of the sacks. "Swiss almond? My favorite."

"David's—" When she caught herself in a smile, she inverted it and turned her back to him. "David's too."

She disappeared into the back work area and deposited the art supplies. By the time she returned to the kitchen, he'd unloaded several bags and stacked their contents on the countertop.

"Law, I'll do that later."

He was determined not to let her get under his skin today. Calmly he held up a plastic bottle of mouthwash. "Where to?"

"Upstairs," she said on a sigh of surrender. "Put everything that goes upstairs here."

She tapped a corner of the counter.

"Fine."

They worked in silence. Hers was hostile.

He continued to unload the sacks; she put the goods away in the various cabinets. He enjoyed watching her move with the grace and economy of motion that only the female of the species has in a kitchen. She bent and stretched, dipped and turned, opening doors and bumping drawers closed with her hip in a ballet he found enchanting.

The hem of her denim skirt bisected her kneecaps. When she bent over or stretched up on tiptoe to reach a shelf, he was treated to glimpses of smooth, bare thigh. She had on an oversized shirt with the tail knotted at her waist. Beneath that she had on a ribbed tank top. And beneath that he didn't think she had on anything. Just the thought of the soft cotton against her breasts made his sex feel warm and thick.

He nodded at the sodas she was placing in the refrigerator. "Can I have one of those?"

He knew he was pressing his luck. She hadn't warmed a single degree. She was still pissed about last night, he thought. She practically threw ice cubes into a glass before wrenching off the tab of the soda can and pouring him the drink. When she thrust it at him, the foam sloshed over his hand. He sucked it off. "Thanks."

Folding her arms over her middle, she faced him. "Now that the groceries are put away now that you've got your drink, will you please state your business so I can get back to mine?"

He took a sip of his drink. Watching her closely he said, "I called my lawyer this morning."

She said nothing, she didn't move, but her reaction was visible and drastic. Her eyes, which already looked wide and haunted, widened a bit more. What little color there was in her face faded. She wet her lips with her tongue, then clamped the lower one briefly between her teeth.

He wanted to touch her but didn't dare. He was afraid she would either start scratching and clawing or disintegrate. It looked like it could go either way.

"Sit down, Marnie. Let's talk about this reasonably," he suggested softly. "Please."

She nodded and distractedly lowered herself into the nearest chair at the dining table. If it had been a bed of nails, Law doubted she would have noticed. He remained standing and moved to the door. He stared out the window at the backyard and noticed the detached garage for the first time. There was a basketball hoop mounted on it above the driveway.

She'd provided David every advantage that had been within her means to provide. It seemed that fortune was either always smiling on someone or always frowning. Marnie was of the latter group. She had already had her share of heartache and didn't deserve any more. Law wished there were a painless way to do this. Unfortunately a sleepless night hadn't produced one.

"I asked my attorney what I'd have to do to get joint custody of David."

He heard a small sound, but when he turned around, her hand was covering her lips, which were rolled inward. "He told me it would be tough to do if you contested it, but not impossible. I'm hoping you won't contest it."

Her eyes were no longer haunted, but turbulent. "Don't you ever think of anyone but yourself, Law?"

He dropped his gaze to the toes of his shoes. "That's a fair shot, I guess. A little below the belt though."

"I can't afford to be kind. Unless I fight you, and fight dirty, you'll ruin David's life."

He crossed the kitchen in one lunge and sat down across from her. "How could I ruin his life by becoming a part of it? A boy needs a father."

"He hasn't up till now."

"How do you know? Maybe he stopped wishing out loud for one because he was sensitive to your feelings."

He knew he had scored a point because she fell silent. "I know that what you saw last night makes me look bad, but I'd like to explain."

She didn't say anything, but raised her eyes to his. He tried not to let the silent reproach in them bother him. "I was mad about what happened here yesterday." It gratified him to see that the mention of that unsettled her. She shifted uneasily in her chair and nervously clasped her hands together. "I didn't want to stop, Marnie. I didn't want to be stopped. I wanted for it to go on until—"

"Law, don't."

"Until I was inside you, coming hard and fast."

She lurched out of her chair and headed for her back room. He followed her. When he got there, she was braced against her drawing board, clutching the edge of it and rocking slowly back and forth.

Hearing his footsteps, she spun around to confront him. "So in effect, that party was my fault?" she asked, pressing a hand against her chest.

"In effect." Vocally she scoffed at that. "Listen, will you?" he demanded, feeling the control on his temper slipping. "My frustration level was sky high. I felt like raising hell. I felt like getting a little drunk and, yes, getting laid before the evening was over.

"But after everybody got there I started looking around and thinking how superficial some of them were. For the most part they were hangers-on or jet jockeys playing a macho role. And then it occurred to me that I was the worst among them. My party mood evaporated before you ever got there. I wanted to be by myself so I could think about my priorities, but as you saw, there was little chance of that. I decided to ride out the party make the most of it.

"Then you showed up, as daunting as a bad conscience. When you asked me what I knew about relationships, it was like getting a bullet right between the eyes. I realized that I don't know much. I've never been required to know." He paused for effect. "I want to change that."

"You want to cut your teeth on David, use him as a guinea pig for this new you." She propped her hands on her hips. "Do you honestly think I'm stupid enough to fall for all this self-improvement tripe? You adore being Colonel Law Kincaid, NASA hero."

"All right, I'll admit it. Yes, I do. I've worked hard for it. I'm proud of what I did up there."

"So what are you going to say when people ask who David is? How are you going to introduce him?"

That was a question he'd asked himself repeatedly. Now he answered Marnie as honestly as he could. "I don't know yet. A lot will depend on David."

"David will never be given a chance to decide one way or the other. You make a pretty speech, Colonel, but you could never change. If I had guessed that you'd get it into your head to make David an active part of your life, I would have lied when you asked if he was your son."

"Who's really being selfish here, Marnie? I think you're afraid that if he gets to know me, he'll like me better than he likes you."

"That's not true! David loves me and knows how much I love him."

"Then whatever relationship develops between him and me couldn't possibly affect that, right?"

He'd trapped her, but it was a shallow victory and he drew little satisfaction from it.

Probably because her fragile features seemed to shatter. Far from being vanquished, however, she stiffened her posture.

"Threaten all you want with lawyers. David is my son, legally and morally," she said, thumbing her chest with a laughably tiny fist. "I'll fight you with my last breath to keep him, Law."

"I hoped you would be reasonable. I should have known better."

"That's right. You should have. From now on consider me your enemy. Did you actually expect me to roll over and play dead when you're threatening the only important thing in my life?"

He strode across the room and backed her into the edge of the drafting table. Leaning over her, placing his face only inches above hers, he whispered, "I think that's what's really at issue here. Your life has no balance. David shouldn't be the only important thing in it."

"I didn't mean the
only
thing. There's my mother to take care of. I've got my work."

"What about yourself? Don't you deserve any consideration? What about fun? And sex?"

"Those are your priorities, not mine."

"They don't have to be priorities. I don't believe you've had
any
lately."

"What gives you that idea? Because I don't fawn over you, rub against you like a cat in heat and lick your ear?"

"Try it. You might like it."

"You're disgusting."

"Not disgusting, Marnie, normal. Oh, you've got the right equipment," he said, his eyes skating over her breasts. "It's all there and it all works. I've given it a test flight, remember?"

She tried to push him away and go around him. He angled her back against the table.

"You won't open up and let your body fly full throttle. Why? Because some guy did a number on you that soured you on the rest of us?"

"Stop this."

"What did he do, Marnie, trade you for another girl, one who wasn't so uptight? Leave you stranded at the altar? Or couldn't he accept your devotion to David? What did he do that makes you freeze up every time a man touches you?"

Seeing that he had her speechless with rage, he pressed his advantage. "I believe, and I think any court in Texas would agree, that living with a father who enjoys life a little too much would be better for David than living with an old-maid aunt who's afraid to live at all."

He yanked her hard against him and kissed her lips angrily, then stormed out. When he reached his car, he leaned against the side of it and swore for a full sixty seconds. What was it about this woman that brought out the very worst in him?

Chapter 12

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M
arnie felt like she'd been bludgeoned. She gripped her stomach and bent slightly at the waist as though in excruciating pain.

He couldn't take David away from her. He
couldn't
.

From a legal standpoint, he wouldn't have a leg to stand on. It was evident to anyone who looked at David that he was a healthy well-adjusted youth. He'd never been neglected or mistreated either physically or emotionally. David would be the first to testify on her behalf, although the thought of placing him in a position to have to made her ill.

Surely Law would come to his senses and realize the advisability of leaving things as they were. He wouldn't put David through an ordeal like a custody dispute, would he? He was cocky and conceited, but he wasn't cruel.

Then again, a legal battle might not become necessary. If David learned who Law was, he might choose to live with his father. There would be little she could do to prevent that.

She would never forcibly exercise her custody rights at the sacrifice of David's happiness.

The most persistent and odious question that kept rearing its head was, did she owe it to David to tell him about Law?

She was so absorbed in thought that her telephone rang several times before she realized it. It was on the fifth ring before she picked it up.

"Hello? Oh, yes, Mr. Howard. How are you?"

"I'm fine. And you?"

"Fine."

"Miss Hibbs, the committee was most impressed with your proposal."

"Thank you. I'm glad to hear that." She waited for the other shoe to drop.

"However, we've elected to use someone else for the telephone directory."

"I see." A curtain of black seemed to have been drawn across her vision, blocking out all light, all hope.

"I can't emphasize enough how tough the decision was."

"I appreciate that."

"Maybe at some future date—"

"Thank you, Mr. Howard, for calling and letting me know. Good-bye."

She hung up, making the rejection of her work less painful for both of them. She sat staring into near space for several minutes, then did something she rarely did. She burst into tears.

"Mom? Where are you?"

Her eyes were still red and puffy from hard crying when David came home. He arrived later than usual because he had gone to a friend's house after school. She was in the kitchen cooking dinner when he came through the door and dumped his books and gym bag into a chair.

"Hi."

"Hi." She injected a levity into her voice that she didn't feel, and overshot her mark. The gaiety sounded phony. "How was school?"

"I got ninety-eight on that history exam."

"Terrific. Use a glass, please," she said when he tipped the cold water pitcher in the refrigerator directly to his mouth, reminiscent of his father's habit of drinking straight from the container.

"It was worth a try." His disarming grin was another inherited trait. The grin vanished, however, the moment Marnie turned her head. "What's the matter, Mom?"

"Nothing."

"Have you been crying? Is it Grandma?"

"No. I spoke with her earlier today and she seemed groggy from medication but otherwise okay." She turned the meat in the skillet with a long fork. "Set the table please.

Chicken fried steak tonight. It's almost ready. As soon as I make the gravy—"

"Mom, stop putting me off like I'm some dumb kid, okay?"

His irritation was justified. He hadn't seen her cry since they'd watched the news reports of the
Challenger
explosion. It didn't surprise her that he had noticed her tear-ravaged face and became upset in his own right.

He was no longer a child whose apprehensions could be dismissed without explanation.

When something bothered her, it bothered him. It would frustrate, even panic her, if he shunned her concern over something that was worrying him.

Acknowledging that she was being unfair, she turned down the burner so the cutlets wouldn't overcook. "Mr. Howard called. I didn't get the telephone book commission."

"Damn!"

"That's what I said," she said with a twisted smile. "But that's that. Their decision was final and there's no sense mourning it. I'll have to work harder next time."

"They've got no taste!" he cried loyally. "You're the best."

"Thank you," she said, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "I'm glad to know I have your endorsement."

"Is something terrible going to happen? Does this mean we're going to be poor?"

"No, darling," she said, laughing softly. "Not any poorer than usual. It's just that I was planning to do something really special for your sixteenth birthday that I won't be able to do now."

"That's okay. Don't worry about that. You scared me. I thought it was something really awful."

She gave him a loving smile. "You're a great kid, you know that?" Fresh tears began to sting her eyes, so she turned back to the stove.

"Was Law here today?"

Marnie came around quickly.

David was seated at the table, twirling a pair of aviator sunglasses by the stem. Marnie hadn't noticed them.

Lying would be futile. Besides, she'd been lying to David frequently of late and didn't like it. "Yes, he, uh, stopped by."

"What for?"

"What for?" She shrugged and offered a feeble smile. "To say hi. He helped me carry in groceries from the car, drank a soda, and left. It wasn't a long visit by any means." She busied herself at the sink, washing lettuce. "What dressing do you want on your salad tonight?"

"Are you having an affair with him?"

"What?" This time she was nearly knocked off balance by the unexpected question. She didn't insult David with a glib reply. His expression was too serious to discard that easily.

She turned off the water faucet, dried her hands, and removed the skillet of frying meat from the burner. Dinner could wait. Things like food had always taken second place to David's emotional needs.

"Of course I'm not having an affair with Law, David."

"It would be okay with me."

"I know. He told me what you said the other night before we went to that dinner together. Frankly it shocked me."

"I'm old enough to understand sex drives and all that. You and Law are grown-up, consenting adults."

"I appreciate your open-mindedness on the subject of my sexuality but it's not at issue here. Law and I are not lovers."

"Then are you friends?"

"Not even what I'd call friends. We're merely acquaintances."

"Then how come he's dropping by in the middle of the day? Why are you going out on mysterious errands at night all of a sudden? You've never done that before. And every time we're around him, the two of you look at each other funny. You're so … keyed up, like you're afraid you'll say something wrong."

"I guess I'm nervous around him because he's a celebrity."

"You've never been nervous around anybody else."

"He's the first celebrity I've ever met." The words rang so hollow, she didn't blame David for his skeptical expression.

"Where'd you get the hickey?"

"What?" she asked, automatically raising a guilty hand to the faint mark on her neck.

"That's an insect bite."

"It's a hickey Mom," he repeated impatiently.

Marnie guiltily lowered her gaze. "All right, he kissed me. But that's as far as it's gone, David."

"I'm not mad about it. I told you it was okay. I just want you to level with me."

"And now I have." He peered deeply into her eyes and tapped out a rapid cadence on the surface of the table. She knew he wasn't ready to let the subject drop. "What else, David? There's something on your mind."

He fidgeted. He cleared his throat. He scratched his head. "Is Law … is he … you know, my dad?"

A tidal wave of astonishment and regret washed over her. It didn't knock her off her feet, but almost. Swaying slightly, she closed her eyes and blindly gripped the back of a chair.

"He is, isn't he?"

When she opened her eyes, David was still giving her a penetrating stare. She went around the chair she was holding on to for support and lowered herself into it carefully as though if she moved too quickly she might unravel.

She gazed at the boy, now on the brink of manhood, whom she had cared for and loved since he was carried out of the hospital delivery room.

Episodes in his life flashed through her mind as clearly as the photographs in the picture albums. In seconds, her memory chronicled their life together, the times they had laughed and the times they'd been sad, the times they'd acted silly and the times they'd seriously pondered life's mysteries, the times they'd hugged and the very few times they'd been mad at each other.

He'd had to be consoled after seeing Bambi and scolded for giggling in church when his chewing gum accidentally fell into the offering plate. She recalled the smothering panic she'd experienced the first time he'd left for a week at Boy Scout camp and the enormous pride that had inundated her when he was named most outstanding boy at his junior high school graduation.

Perhaps she could claim a small portion of credit for the person he'd become. But the real credit overwhelmingly belonged to another: a tall, blond, athletic, naturally competitive overachiever.

"Yes, David. Law Kincaid is your father."

He let go a long, heavy exhalation, indicative of how tense he had been. He allowed himself several moments to absorb the truth before he spoke again. "Are you my mom?

My real mom, I mean."

"No," she said, shaking her head gently. "I'm only fifteen years older than you, remember?"

"One of the girls in my class got pregnant last year."

"Well, I didn't. Law…" She paused to swallow, which she did with some difficulty. "Law picked Sharon over me. She was older, more mature. In his eyes I was still a child."

"Tell me about it."

"You know almost everything. Sharon got pregnant with you in the summer. We met Law on the beach." She summarized the events that had occurred in Galveston almost seventeen years earlier.

When she finished, David asked, "What made him suddenly want to see me after all this time?"

Noting the defensive hostility mounting in his eyes, she reached across the table and pressed his hand between hers. "Law never knew about you. Never, David. You must believe that. He didn't even remember your mother until recently." Quickly she told him about the letters.

"Grandma told him?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I found out only yesterday that she had sent the letters. I haven't had a chance to speak with her about it. It's water under the bridge, though, isn't it? Law found out about you. That's what's important."

"Why didn't you ever tell him, Mom?"

She pulled back and took a deep breath. "So many reasons, David. He had his own life.

We had ours. I didn't see an easy way for them to integrate." She looked at him closely.

"Do you blame me for not contacting him? Do you wish I had?"

"Well, kinda, yeah."

His truthful answer caused discomfort. He shifted restlessly in his chair. It caused Marnie's heart to ache.

"I have to take full responsibility for my decision," she told him. "Grandma guessed that Law was your father, but I was the only one besides Sharon who knew."

Her eyes appealed to him for understanding. "He was a bachelor. He had an awesome future. I was intimidated by him. Most of all, I was afraid that he'd reject you, David."

"Has he?"

Though his voice had changed the year before, he suddenly sounded very young and vulnerable. Marnie's heart went out to him. "Can't you tell?"

His lips twitched at the corners before they fashioned a full-fledged smile. "I think he likes me. A little bit anyway."

"He likes you an awful lot."

He left his chair and began to roam aimlessly around the kitchen, touching objects that were familiar to him as though he'd never seen them before.

"I can't believe it. I always wondered who my dad was, but …
Law Kincaid
. Jeez," he whispered, raking his hand through this hair, "I – I … it's just too cool to believe." He grinned at her sheepishly "Wait until the kids at school find out. The other day after the soccer game everybody was saying that we look alike. Do you think he and I look alike, Mom?" He waited anxiously for her answer and beamed a huge smile when she said, "The spittin' image."

"Can I call him? Can I tell him I know?"

"I—"

"Please? You were going to tell me anyway, weren't you? Or he was, wasn't he?"

"I suppose eventually but—"

"Then I'm going to call him right now and let him know that he doesn't have to tell me. I already figured it out. Okay Mom? Okay?"

Things were slipping away from her too quickly. She couldn't grip the lifeline. It was escaping her and there was nothing she could do about it. But David was looking at her with such animation and excitement, she didn't have the heart to refuse him.

"I guess that would be okay."

He whooped and lunged for the telephone. "What's his number?"

"I don't know. You'll have to look it up."

His smile deflated. "I'll bet it's unlisted."

He attacked the telephone directory "There's a Lawrence Joshua Kincaid."

"That's him."

"Joshua's my middle name too."

She nodded, afraid her voice would crack if she tried to speak. When it came time to name the infant, her parents had selected
David
. Sharon was indifferent. Marnie had remembered Law's full name and had given the newborn at least that much of his father's identity.

Law hadn't noticed the name on the hospital certificate when he saw it in the album.

Marnie hadn't pointed it out to him because the fact that David bore his name seemed to seal his authority over his son's future.

"Hi, uh, Law," David was saying into the telephone, "this is David. You know, David Hibbs?" There was a brief pause. "No, she's fine. She's standing right here. He says hi," he said to Marnie.