Lone Star Nights (18 page)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

C
ASSIE
SAT
ON
her bed, staring at the letter. It was silly not to just open it and see what her grandmother had written, but she wasn't sure she was ready to see those final words just yet. She wasn't anywhere close to a panic attack, hadn't been close in several days now, but this might push her back over the edge.

After all, she'd had a lot of edge-pushing things happen to her today.

That kissing session in the hayloft. The run-in with Andrew. The tornado of confusion going on in her head when it came to the girls, and the rest of her life. Now, this.

She was still staring at the letter when there was a knock at the door, and Cassie knew who it was before she even opened it. Lucky. He was there, no doubt to figure out if he had a reason to be concerned.

“You want me to stay with you when you read it?” he asked, tipping his head to the letter.

What he didn't do was come in, even though she stepped back so he could do that. Maybe because he was giving her some space. Too bad Cassie wasn't sure if space was the way to go.

“No. I'll be okay. I'm a little worried about Mackenzie, though,” she said.

Lucky nodded. “I'm checking on her next.”

And that was yet another reason why he probably wasn't coming in. Lucky was like chocolate—she wasn't to be trusted around it. Or him.

“Alice Murdock just called,” he added a heartbeat later.

Mercy, was that the reason for his concerned expression? “And?”

He took a deep breath as if he needed it badly, and Cassie tried to steel herself for bad news. “She seems, well, great. It's hard to gauge someone from a phone conversation, but she seems to want the girls, seems to be have their best interest at heart.”

“Seems?”

Lucky lifted his shoulder. “Seems is as good as I can get from what she said. She didn't seem anything like her half sister, though.”

Cassie was going to take what he was saying as a red flag. Exactly what kind of red flag, she didn't know yet, but she wasn't just going to hand over the girls until she was certain this was the right guardian for them.

Except she might not have a choice.

The woman was blood kin so it was possible neither Lucky nor she would have any say in this. If Alice Murdock
seemed
suitable, then the courts would side with her. Not that it would come down to courts and such.

Her phone buzzed, and Lucky was still close enough to see Andrew's name pop up on the screen. “I'll go check on Mackenzie,” he said, getting out of there fast. Probably because he thought she needed privacy for this talk.

But no privacy was needed. Not for the talk anyway. She shut the door after Lucky walked away, let the call go to voice mail and opened the letter. It was handwritten and dated the same as Mia's.

“Dear Cassie,” it read. “I figure you're ass-kicking mad at me right about now. I knew it'd be a lot to ask, but I knew you'd do right by the girls. Right by Lucky, too.”

That brought Cassie to a dead stop and she scowled. She turned that scowl to the heavens just in case Dixie Mae was watching her. Of course, no matter where Dixie Mae was in the hereafter, she probably wasn't watching. Her grandmother hadn't exactly been a sit-around-and-watch kind of person.

“No, I'm not matchmaking,” Cassie continued to read. “I just think it'll help Lucky if he's got bigger problems than the ones festering in his own mind. Plus, he's easy on the eyes. Don't shake your head.”

Cassie stopped shaking her head.

“You know he is,” Dixie Mae had added. “Just don't let the problems festering in your own mind stop you from seeing that. Anyway, I love you to Pluto and back 'cause if you remember, to the moon and back was never far enough for us.”

Cassie smiled. Yes, she remembered. And the feeling of that love came flooding back. In addition to being a nonwatcher, Dixie Mae hadn't exactly been sweet and cuddly, but she had loved Cassie, and Cassie had never doubted that love for a moment.

Well, maybe a moment when she'd first found out Dixie Mae had left Lucky and her with guardianship of the girls.

Dixie Mae had scrawled “Love, Gran,” but that wasn't the end of the letter. “PS. Try to make Lucky understand that his parents' deaths weren't his fault.”

* * *

L
UCKY
KNOCKED
ON
Mackenzie's door and was surprised when she answered right away. Not with a scowl or a smart-mouthed response, either. She still looked plenty happy. At first, he thought that had something to do with Dixie Mae's letter, but she was clutching it unopened in her hand.

So this was no doubt some leftover happiness from his agreeing to that dance date. Something that Lucky hoped he didn't regret. However, for now he'd take that happiness. And even add some more.

“Your aunt Alice called, and she thinks it won't be a problem for you and Mia to stay for the wedding.”

“Really?” Mackenzie didn't sound like goth moody girl now. She was fully smiling again, and she launched herself into his arms for a very unexpected hug.

And Lucky got an unexpected jolt from the warmth that went through him. Of course, none of this would last, but he decided to hang on to it for a while. But Mackenzie didn't hang on.

“I have to call Brody,” she insisted, and practically shut the door in his face.

He had to smile, though. Apparently, she was a normal girl beneath all that anger and makeup. In fact, Mackenzie might just thrive with someone like Aunt Alice. That caused his smile to fade a little. Not because he didn't want her to be happy—he did. But it would have been nice to see both girls come into their own.

Lucky went back downstairs to check on Mia, but Della and she were tied up with a cookie-baking lesson, which meant he didn't have any excuses not to read the letter. He went to his room for that, though. He preferred not to have an audience for what could turn out to be gut-wrenching. Or just plain frustrating. Heaven knew Dixie Mae could be both in the span of two seconds.

“Dear Lucky,” he read “I'll try to spell all the words right so you won't scowl. I suspect you're cussing me right now, but that's okay. It makes up for the times you wanted to cuss at me but were too much of a son to do it. Yes, I called you a son, because you were like that to me. That's why I wanted you to have the girls until something
permenent
could be worked out. I knew you'd do what was best for them because it would be like doing what was best for me.”

Lucky had to admit she was right. And that part about his being like a son to her? That watered his eyes a little. But it would have watered them significantly more if she hadn't misspelled
permanent
.

“I didn't tell you about the girls sooner,” Lucky continued reading, “because you were so busy with the rodeo stuff. I thought I'd have more time. More time to find their kin and get them settled before I passed. It was never my plan to keep them, even for a month, because let's face it, those girls deserve better than me.”

Lucky wanted to disagree, but he couldn't. Dixie Mae wasn't the conventional mothering sort, and the girls needed someone normal and stable in their lives.

“Anyway, be good to yourself and Cassie,” he read on. “And remember what I told you about rusting up your zipper a bit. Love, Dixie Mae.”

He hadn't exactly planned on taking the zipper-rusting advice to heart, but it had worked out that way. Thanks to Andrew's interruption in the barn. If he hadn't shown up, there might not have been enough rust in a junkyard to stop Lucky from finishing what he'd started with Cassie.

Lucky was about to refold the letter, but then he saw the PS at the bottom. “Make Cassie understand that that woman's death wasn't her fault.”

And those were Dixie Mae's last words to him. They were good last words, too. Not like the bull remark she'd made on her deathbed. This was solid advice that he should start working on.

Like now.

He hurried upstairs, knocked on Cassie's door, and the moment she opened it, Lucky hooked his arm around her, hauled her to him and kissed her. Of course, Dixie Mae hadn't specifically told him to kiss Cassie. In fact, she hadn't said anything about a lip-lock, but Lucky figured it might help them both.

It was stupid logic, but that brainless part of him behind his zipper thought this was the cure to any and all world problems. Personal ones, too.

Cassie made a soft sound of surprise, a sound that got trapped in the kiss. A lot of things got trapped. Her hand. Her breasts. Basically the entire front part of her body ended up squished against his while he took the kiss to the next level.

It was the only way to make sure that Cassie knew this was a real kiss and not some peck of reassurance about their situation and those letters. And since it was a real kiss, Lucky made sure it went on for a while. That it involved some touching, as well. He kept kissing, kept touching, until air became a serious issue. He either had to break away from her or suffocate.

It took him several seconds to decide.

He finally pulled back, his eyeballs meeting hers. Cassie looked dazed. Aroused. And a whole bunch of other things that his hard-on wanted him to explore. But it wasn't the time or the place.

“Sometimes the bull doesn't win,” he said.

Lucky didn't have a clue what that meant in this context. Didn't care. He walked away, smiling, and he was certain he'd just given Cassie something to think about.

* * *

M
ACKENZIE
HATED
TO
leave a message for Brody. She wanted to tell him the news now, but the call went straight to voice mail. She mumbled a “call me” and hoped it wouldn't take him too long to get back to her.

She waited a minute. Then two. And since she didn't have anything better to do, she opened the letter from Dixie Mae and started reading.

Dear Mackenzie,

I hope you're behaving yourself and have found a good makeup remover. Clear skin really is one of the keys to a woman's happiness, though I'm sure you'll hear that love is. It can be, but you know firsthand that love can also be shitty. Yes, I know I shouldn't cuss around you, but it's hard to come up with another word for shitty, especially one that I can spell right off the top of my head. Probably should have taken that dictionary that Lucky was always trying to give me.

Anyway, just keep putting one foot ahead of the other. Never really did understand that since I'm not sure how you'd put two feet ahead without busting your ass, but again I'm drifting off point and cussing. Keep growing. Keep living. Keep loving. One final thing: help Mia understand that life is more than the bucket of puke you two have had so far.

Love, Dixie Mae.

Mackenzie couldn't help it. She smiled. Dixie Mae was crazy, but crazy in a good way. Not like Mackenzie's mother. Probably not like Aunt Alice, either, but at least her aunt had agreed to let her stay for the wedding.

Her phone rang, finally, and she nearly dropped it trying to answer it.

“Kenzie,” Brody said.

God, she loved it when he called her that. Of course, that's what Mia called her, but it sounded so grown-up when Brody said it.

“I got your message,” he continued. “Good news, huh? But I got some more good news. Guess where I am right now?” Brody didn't wait for her to guess. “I'm in the barn behind the McCord house. There's nobody out here but me, so why don't you come out? We can hang out together.”

“Okay,” she heard herself say, though she knew Lucky and Cassie wouldn't allow this. That's why she had no intention of telling them. “I'll be down in a couple of minutes.”

The instant Mackenzie ended the call, she wished she'd told him a half hour so she could pull herself together. Her heart was pounding like a gorilla on the inside of her chest, and she could have used that time to steady herself. She didn't want to go out there looking like an idiot kid who'd never done anything like this before.

Even though she hadn't.

Sure, she'd done some sneaking out in the past, but it'd never been to meet a boy. A boy who liked her! It had usually been to get Mia away from their mom when she was high and acting stupid.

Mackenzie hurried to the bathroom to fix her makeup. That alone took a minute of that couple she'd given herself. On top of that, she couldn't just run down the stairs. She had to sneak, to make sure she didn't draw anyone's attention. Thankfully, there was no one in the front part of the house so she crept her way to the back door and slipped out.

Until she made it to the backyard, Mackenzie hadn't realized that the sun had already set. That was probably why Brody had picked this time to come. There were no ranch hands around, and it was already dark enough that she hoped no one would spot her. Wearing all black would finally work in her favor. And besides, Brody seemed to like it.

“Over here,” Brody whispered when she got closer to the barn.

Good thing, too, because Mackenzie hadn't seen him at all. He was also wearing all black—maybe her taste in clothes had rubbed off on him—and he was standing in the shadows inside the barn.

“Hi,” she said.

Brody took hold of her arm and yanked her into the barn, right into those shadows. “I don't want your watchdogs to see us,” he said. “Because Lucky might not like me doing this.”

And what he did was kiss her.

Brody smashed his lips against hers. It was rough, and Mackenzie nearly pulled away before she came to her senses. This was her first kiss, so how was she to know if this was rough or not?

“You taste like a birthday present,” Brody whispered to her.

Mackenzie had never had a good birthday, certainly didn't know how one tasted, but Brody seemed to like it. He made a grunting sound and kissed her again. Mackenzie felt the warmth trickle through her, but she also felt something else.