London Calling: BWWM New Adult Romance (Chase Brothers Book 2) (14 page)

A
t some point
, Imani had dozed off during the movie. When she woke, she lay against Xander’s chest and he was watching her closely. For several long moments, he stared at her from head to toe. His jeans did nothing to hide the impressive erection straining against the cotton, poking at her ass.

He leaned over her and brushed the tendrils of hair off her shoulder. “I was serious when I said I’d fucked up. I never meant to make you think I didn't want you. I thought it would be best if I kept you at arm’s length, but I really don’t think I can do that anymore. And it’s only making both of us crazy.”

“Y-yes. Crazy sounds like a good word for it.” Just about the only thing she was sure of was that she wanted him.

He shifted their positions so he lay on top of her. But instead of kissing her, Xander trailed his lips over the skin of her shoulder. His warm breath mingled with the sensation, leaving a heated path on her flesh. He bit gently right in the crook of her neck and she gasped as delicious shivers ran through her body. Imani closed her eyes as the heat flooded her body, making her muscles weak. With one kiss, he had her soft, ready and slick. When he bit down a little harder, goosebumps popped up on her flesh and she moaned.

With a low growl, Xander shifted her so she lay flat on her back against the pillows and he lay next to her, still nuzzling her neck. Slowly, he slid a hand over her stomach, up and over her ribcage to gently palm her breast. Through her jumpsuit, she could feel the heat of him and she arched up into the caress, needing more from him.

“You are so soft.” His whispered caress against her flesh alone was enough to make her squirm as her clit throbbed. When he teased the tip with his thumb, she bit back a moan. Slowly he rolled his thumb over the peak as he nuzzled and nibbled along her collarbone.

“Xander.” He was barely even trying and he made her feel like this? Back and forth, back and forth he teased her, making her body coil tight.

When he brought his head up, his eyes were now a dark slate, stormy with desire. His gaze dropped to her lips as he said, “I wonder if you can come just from me touching your breasts.”

She never had before. But she was willing to bet he could get her there. He paid attention to everything her body was doing. He was so attuned, he noticed her brief mental sojourn. “Hey.” The soft brush of his lips against hers was more of a question. “Where are you, Angel?”

She shook her head. “I’m right here.” Even if this was just for a night. She was going to make it count. Xander was someone who could blot out the past for her. “With you.” Feeling bolder, she kissed him, running her tongue over his bottom lip.

He had only a moment’s hesitation before he kissed her deep, his tongue sliding over hers in a possessive kiss that felt more like a brand. His hand tightened on her breast as he kneaded her flesh.

Desperate to feel more of him against her, she rolled into his big body and he growled low. He immediately slid his leg between hers and his hand fell away from her breast as he angled her head to kiss her deep. While their tongues danced she rocked her hips into his, loving the feel of the delicious friction where she needed it most.

Xander broke the kiss, panting heavily. “What are you doing to me?”

He’d asked her the same thing that first night at his flat, and the swell of feminine pride was quick. “The same thing you’re doing to me.”

His chuckle was partially muffled with a groan. “So you feel like you’re going to explode too.”

“Yes, Xander, please touch me.”

“Where do you want me to touch you?”

“Everywhere. Just—”

He palmed her breast again. “Here? You like the way I rubbed my thumb over your nipple?”

She arched her back. “God yes.”

“Hmmm, you think you’ll like it if I take that pretty nipple into my mouth.”

She squirmed underneath him. “Xander, please.”

He slid his hands up to her shoulders and slid first one strap down, then the other. Peeling them down slowly, he waited patiently until she’d freed both her hands from the top, then pulled the soft material all the way down her legs.

Her panties went next. All the while he looked at her like he’d never seen another naked woman in his life. The hunger and desperation etched on his face. He yanked his t-shirt off his head as an apparent afterthought, then lowered himself back down. “Maybe there’s somewhere else you want me to touch? Somewhere else I can make you feel good?”

She raised her hips giving him a direct hint. His chuckle was low. “I’ll get there, I promise. Since I only get one shot at this, I’m going to take my time.”

“Yes, please.”

Xander dropped his head and took a nipple into his mouth as Imani arched her back. As he sucked her deep, his thumb teased the other nipple, sending a spike of need directly to her core. He laved at her, teasing her with his teeth and tongue, worshiped her.

He released her breast and skimmed a hand down her torso and past her belly. Imani threaded her fingers into his hair and he shifted her legs wider to give him access. Lifting his head from her breast, he watched her intently as he slid a finger inside her. “My God, you are so fucking wet.” With a shiver rolling through her, Imani let her lids flutter closed as he coaxed a response out of her. “No, sweetheart. You forget, I like you to look at me.”

Imani forced her lids open even as her body started to quake. With his eyes and his body and his fingers, he demanded she be present right there with him. There was no hiding her response. No hiding what he did to her. No hiding that she needed it. He rested his weight on his forearm and continued to tease her nipple, lightly plucking at it with his thumb and forefinger. The fingers on his other hand busied themselves by penetrating her slow and steady with a measured retreat. Only to dip back inside her, stretching her. He refused to break eye contact with her. Refused to let her hide from what he was doing to her. He insisted that she be vulnerable and gave her no less in return.

In his gaze, she saw the longing there, the desperation, the need. The fire driving him from the inside. Need making her quake, she pulsed as her orgasm rolled through her. But Xander didn’t let up. Instead, as she came, he nodded and continued to slide his thumb over her clit. Except now he rubbed circles inside her with his fingers, stimulating her G-spot. The walls of her core fisted around his fingers and Imani cried out, unable to hold back anymore.

“Yes, that’s it, let go, and look at me when you do it.”

Before she knew what was happening, another orgasm slammed into her, making her weak. All she could manage was to whisper his name.

Gently, he slid his fingers from her and crawled back up her body to kiss her deep. “I fucking love to watch you come. It’s better than Christmas morning.”

“Oh my God.”

“If you say nothing else to me for the next two months I’ll be a happy man.”

It wasn’t until he looped his hand around her waist and tucked her neatly against him that she realized he had no intention of making love to her. “Xander? I thought—”

His voice was low and tight when he spoke. “Go to sleep, Imani. I’m just going to hold you for a bit.”

She rolled in his arms to face him. “We’re not going to…”

He shook his head. “No.”

The stab of rejection sliced deep and she tried to curl in on herself. “You don’t want to?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck, Imani. I want to, you can bloody feel how much I want to. But—”

Imani laid a hand on his chest, her fingertips lightly brushing over the smooth skin down to his abs. He stopped talking. Looking down, she traced the light dusting of hair that disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans. His breaths came out labored and choppy, but he didn’t stop her.

Emboldened, she slid her hand beneath the waistband and palmed his thick erection. His low, deep curses were inventive. She stroked him from tip to root, using her thumb to rub the drop of precum that leaked over the tip. “Imani.” Xander fisted his hands and placed them on top of his head as he screwed his eyes shut tight.

“I’m going to have to insist you look at me.”

His chuckle was broken by a groan, then a low, deep growl. “If I look at you, I’m going to fuck you. And I’m trying—”

Imani used one hand to smooth down over his cock holding on tighter at the base, stretching his skin, then licked her other thumb and rubbed the moisture over the head, particularly under the sensitive spot just under the tip. “I want you to fuck me. I thought that was the point.”

His eyelids flew open and his gaze bored into hers as she continued to use feather-light touches of her thumb. Beneath her palms his whole body shook as if he was fighting something. But when she repeated the motion, keeping her eyes on his as she licked her thumb, his apparent control snapped.

Before she knew what was happening, he captured her wrists in one hand and pinned them above her head. With his other, he shoved down his jeans, but not before yanking out his wallet and pulling out a condom. With quick efficiency, he had himself sheathed and lay poised between her thighs.

Through gritted teeth, he asked, “Are you sure?”

Instead of words, she arched her hips, inviting him in. Xander parted her thighs and rubbed the head of his cock against her slick heat. “Fuck, you’re so ready.”

Imani’s hands traced his back and shoulders, loving how the muscles bunched under her hands.

Xander pressed inside and groaned as she took him deep. She hissed at the size of him, but more from pleasure than pain. He dropped his forehead to hers and with a slow, torturous retreat, slid out of her until he was almost out. When he drove back in, the hint of bite was gone and all that remained was the fierce, tingling pleasure.

Xander took his time. Like he wanted to savor every moment, even as the sweat slicked both their bodies and she begged him, he continued the pace. The only time he changed his thrusts was when he kissed her long and deep, as if when they were fused at the lips. Only their shallow breathing and soft moans of, “So soft…God, yes…” and, “Right there…” permeated the silence.

As he loved her, it was easy to forget that this was only for tonight. That this wasn’t the sanctuary of the rest of her life and the reprieve wouldn’t last long. When he looked at her like she was everything he ever wanted to see on Earth, it was easy to get caught up.

Abruptly, his back stiffened and his brows snapped down. Leaning forward and kissing her again, sliding his tongue over her as he licked into her mouth, he also smoothed his thumb over her clit. Expertly, knowing just how she liked it, just what she’d need to fly. And he pushed that button. All she saw was the bright lights on the edges of her vision as she climaxed. She barely registered his shout and the shudder rolling though him as he came.

A
n hour later
, after they’d retreated to his room Imani whispered, "Can I ask you a question?" She curled into Xander, his big body acting like an oven, heating her up.

He toyed with one of her curls. “Hmmm?" His smile was lazy and his eyes heavy-lidded. He was the picture of contentment.

“Sometimes, I get the impression you don’t
want
to kiss me. Like you’re almost pained by it?” His body went rigid, and she immediately regretted her question. "I'm sorry. None of my business." She shifted in the bed and tried to take the sheet with her. If she could retreat to the bathroom, she could admonish herself in peace.

She didn’t make it far. "Stop." He levered himself up onto his elbows. "Don’t run. I'm not used to anyone trying to probe. It'll take some getting used to."

"Okay."

He relaxed marginally and propped himself up against the headboard. With a deep breath he said, "As you can guess, I'm pretty fucked up. I can’t tell you why. And yeah, I’m shutting you down a little, but I’m not ready to talk to you about it all."

She shook her head. "It’s none of my business." Except it affected her. But she couldn’t make him talk about it. Screw the sheet, he'd already seen her naked.

Before she could get up he said, “I like kissing you. It’s when I feel most connected to you.”

She turned to face him. "Excuse me?"

He rolled his shoulders and she tried not to think about the delicious things the motion did for his muscles. "The answer is complicated, but I, uh, suffer from Male Orgasmic Disorder. Generally it means I'm incapable of orgasm with a partner."

What the fuck
? She'd heard about that with women, but guys? And she was pretty sure he'd come their first night together. "Didn’t you… You’re saying, you didn’t… I—"

He shook his head. "That’s just the thing, you seem to be the exception to that rule. The more connected to you I am, the easier it is.

"I don't understand. Why?"

His laugh rang clear and he looked infinitely more relaxed. "I have no idea. I wish I did. But before you, I haven’t had an orgasm with a woman in five years."

"You haven't had an orgasm in five years?" She stared at him agape unable to believe what he was telling her.

He shook his head and pinned her with a sexy look that was part smug, part sheepish. "No. I have at least one a day." He waved one hand out. "On my own. With someone else, no dice. Until you."

"But, the way people talk about you. It seems like you’re some kind of sex legend."

He shrugged. "Mostly just rumors. I used to have a bit of a reputation. Every once in a while, I try to see if I’m cured. Never works out very well."

Her thoughts whirled as she tried to make sense of everything he was telling her. "So you can have sex, but no…" Her voice trailed off.

"Yeah, that’s pretty much it."

She tried to imagine foreplay and build up with no release. "That must be so frustrating and lonely."

"The frustration is the worst. Not so much for myself, but I can see the looks on my partners’ faces. Some women feel inadequate. Some women want to be the one who can get me there." He cocked his head. "You, you mostly look confused."

"I'm just trying to figure out what I'm doing, exactly."

"As far as I can tell, you're just being incredibly sexy." He scrubbed his hand down his face. "There was a time I totally spiraled out with the women and the drinking and the drugs. I just wanted to be numb. I started connecting less and less. Then all of a sudden my main method of escape no longer worked. Even when I needed it to. Even when I met a perfectly nice girl. The more women I tried to fix myself with, the more it happened. Soon, women started thinking I was on the Sting Tantra kick." He shook his head. "I just disconnected even more. It's why I have a problem with kissing. I know how most of those kinds of nights will end. A year ago, things got really out of hand. I stopped. All the women. Quit the drugs. Cut back on the drinking."

"Oh."
Yeah, Imani, real eloquent.

"The night we met, you rattled me. I was scared shitless of you. You’re the first woman I had kissed in a year. And then next thing I knew, we were caught in that firestorm and I was coming. And it felt bloody amazing. Freeing." He licked his lips. "I wondered if I was cured." His gaze slid away from her. “I considered trying with someone else, but you’re the only one I’ve even come close to wanting.”

A ball of sadness unfurled in her gut. He'd thought about trying to sleep with someone else? She swallowed hard. She had no right to him.
He's not yours.
"You came looking for me."

“Yeah. At first I thought it was because with you, I could—" He smiled sheepishly. "Well, you get the idea. But it was really because you're the first person I've actually connected to in a long time. So I've been trying to avoid touching you. Because I'm afraid of losing control. The last time I tried a relationship, I crashed and burned. I’m not really geared for it."

She gestured down to her sheet-clad body. "Now you tell me." She tightened her hold on the soft material. What happened in a few weeks when this was all over? She wanted him, but she had to be careful with her heart. She wanted to look back on this and know she'd enjoyed herself. Experimented. Had fun. Xander could be fun. He could help her erase the shadow of her past.

“I just know how I feel when I’m with you. And I’m tired of fighting it. It feels too good to touch you.”

She licked her lips and Xander bit back a groan. He could already feel it, his world tilting. And he felt powerless to do anything about it. She nuzzled closer and through a clenched jaw, he muttered, "Imani, you don't—" His plan was to tell her that he could hurt her. That this was dangerous for
her
. That he wasn’t a good guy. Except she leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on his pectoral muscle. Directly above his nipple. His skin blazed and he wanted her to kiss lower. To use her teeth on him just like he had with her.

Threading a hand into her silky, wild curls, he directed her to his nipple. He could feel her smile, right before she graced the puckered flesh with her teeth.

Oh fuck. Fuck. Yes.
Her mouth was hot and warm and she smelled so sweet. While she kissed his chest, driving him crazy with her tongue, he reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a condom, making quick work of the latex.

He pushed her away from his chest before she could make him come...again. Rolling her onto her back, he didn’t even check to see if she was ready. If she was sore. He just aligned his cock to her sweet center and pushed.

She stiffened in his arms and he immediately stilled. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He clamped his jaw tight and his brain gave the command for him to pull back. But he didn't want to. He wanted to drive forward, to lose himself in her.

But the angel prevailed by wresting the devil down and he slowly retreated. But Imani held on to his back. "No. Don’t leave."

He snapped his gaze to hers. "But—"

Imani shook her head. "No. I'm sore, that's all, and not quite ready."

"Fuck, I'm a wanker." He pulled all the way out until the tip of his cock just teased the entrance to her slick center. He kissed her jaw and neck until she softened in his arms again and made that little mewling sound at that the back of her throat.

It was only when she whimpered and rolled her hips into him that he slid all the way back inside.

Reaching for her breast, he teased the soft peak until it pebbled into a tight bud. All the while nuzzling the hollow behind her ear.

Her breathing became shallower and she milked him with the walls of her pussy, making his entry slightly easier.

Drawing his head back, he met her gaze and there was desire there. Dilated pupils, parted lips. But there was something else too. Softness. Trust. He wanted to say he hated to see it, but that wasn’t true. He loved that she trusted him. He wanted that. Wanted to be someone who could be trusted with her heart.

He hadn’t intended to kiss her again, but then her tongue peeked out, making him need to taste her again. Their lips met in a tangle of tongues and that connection he'd been avoiding for most of his life gave him easier passage.

Stroke for stoke she matched him until he felt the quiver inside as she clung to him. Imani cried out his name and his control snapped and he drove into her again and again, chasing his release. It didn’t surprise him as much this time. But it was just as intense. Made more so when she reached up and caressed his face. As he poured into her, he knew he was lying to himself. He would never be able to stop.