Loaded: A Bad Boy Romance (22 page)

I
work twelve-hour days
, partly because I like the job and I want to keep it and partly because if I’m not working, I’ve got too much time to think.

I don’t even know where Tessa and I left off, whether she’s going to ever booty call me or whether I can booty call her or what. I just know I left there furious and heartbroken and I can’t believe I let myself
like
her.

I must be some sort of idiot.

W
ednesday I work late again
, and then two of my coworkers invite me out for a drink after work, and I know that Tessa is meeting Aidan tonight and I need to think about
anything else
so I say yes. They’re nice enough guys and they take me to a craft brewery, where we sit and talk about office politics and craft brews.

It’s not the company that I’m used to, but it’s what I should
get
used to, I think. It’s better than the golf talk at that wedding, at least.

Halfway through my beer, my phone goes off, and I hope it’s not an email from my boss. Given that my
last
boss cut off pinkies when he was unhappy, reporting to someone still makes me nervous, even though I know this is much, much different.

It’s not.

It’s a text from Tessa.

I look up at my coworkers, still chatting away. One of them laughs, and I slide my phone back in my pocket and decide to finish my beer before I answer. Make her sweat a little.

I last about five minutes and then give up, pulling my phone out of my pocket, because I can’t hear a damn thing they’re saying over my memory of Tessa saying
I need you inside me
.

I drain my beer, and my coworkers look over at me.

“Next round’s on me,” one says, but I stand.

“I’ve actually gotta go,” I say. “Thanks for the invite, though.”

That’s what people with these kinds of jobs say, right? ‘Invite’?

“Anytime, man,” the other one says, and I leave cash on the bar and walk out.

M
y dick is already hard
when I knock on her door, and for a moment I wonder if I
am
just a walking dildo or something.

“It’s open,” she calls, so I go in and shut it behind me.

“Hi,” she calls from the kitchen. “You want a drink?”

I walk back and she holds up a bottle of wine.

“No thanks,” I say, letting my eyes crawl down her.

All she’s got on is a white V-neck t-shirt with no bra and a pair of black lacy panties. I let my eyes linger on her ass, the black fabric curving into a place I’m
positive
is already wet.

I wonder if she wore them on her date, even though I know that right
now
they’re for my benefit.

“You’re staring,” she says, working the cork back into the wine.

“You’re wearing lingerie in your kitchen,” I say. “Wear a parka if you don’t want me looking at your ass.”

“It’s not lingerie,” she says, as I lean against the opposite counter. “Just fancy underpants.”

“Was that for me or Aidan?” I ask before I can stop myself.

She licks her lips and leans against the other counter.

“They’re for whoever I went home with,” she says, her green eyes glittering.

“Apparently he turned you down, then, because here I am,” I say.

I don’t think it’s true, because who the fuck would turn Tessa down?

I just want to make her mad, because the thought of her with someone else burns me up.

She snorts.

“He didn’t turn me down,” she says. “He was a
perfect
gentleman, I’ll have you know.”

“How many drinks have you had?” I ask.

“Three,” she says. “One on my date and two here.”

“Now you have to drink before you call me?”

“I’ve never
called
you before,” she says. “You caught me when I tripped once and came back from the dead once.”

“You thought I might not come,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest. “So you had to work up the courage to call me after you went out with someone else.”

“Does it matter?” she says. “You’re here now.”

“Yeah,” I say. “I’m here now, your dirty secret. You go out in public with other men and then call me later when they don’t
interest
you like I do.”

She glares, but she doesn’t say anything. I lean forward and take her wrist in my hand, pulling her toward me.

“Anyone could give you what you say you want,” I tell her. “You call me later because I’ll give you what you
need
.”

Her hands are flat on the counter to my sides and she’s standing with one hip cocked, nipples poking through her t-shirt, staring up at me defiantly.

Every time I see her I just want her worse and worse. I don’t know what’s going to happen if we keep doing this. I don’t know if I’m going to
survive
it.

“You don’t know anything about the people I’ve dated,” she says.

“I know they’re not me,” I say.

“That’s
all
you know.”

“That’s all I need to know,” I say. “If you wanted someone
nice
you’d fuck someone
nice
but here I am.”

“I thought you weren’t jealous,” she tells me.

“I’m not,” I lie.

We kiss hard, almost
savagely
and she rolls her hips against me, rubbing herself against my cock through my pants until she pulls back and moans breathily.

I’m still wearing the button-down shirt I wore to work today and she pulls at the buttons, opens it and yanks it off of me, running her hands along the tattoos. I slide my hands up her shirt and squeeze her perfect, full breasts as she writhes.

“I’ve barely even
touched
you,” I say.

“I know what’s coming,” she says, looking up at me with those
eyes
.

I bend down and bite her nipples through the shirt, leaning her backwards, and as I bring her back upright I take her shirt off, her face flushed and wild. I kiss her again, hard, as I grab her ass in those panties and she takes my pants off and then I’m hard and naked in her kitchen.

She grabs my cock with both hands and kisses me and groans.

For some goddamn reason, I think of her with someone
else
, grabbing
his
dick and groaning like that. Or worse, lying on her back in the dark, yawning while he thrusts away at her.

Fuck no. She’s mine, at least right now.

“Get into the bedroom,” I growl at her.

“Let’s fuck here,” she whispers.

I grab her and crush her against me so her hips press against the full length of my hard cock.

“Take off your panties and get on the bed,” I say, letting my voice go low and dangerous.

I don’t think for a second that she’s actually going to do it.

“Take them off me,” she says.

Instead I grab her and hoist her over my shoulder and
take
her into the bedroom as she shouts, “Dammit, Alex!”

I toss her onto the bed on her back and I’m on top of her, pressing my whole body into her as she wraps her legs around me, my cock sliding along the thin fabric between her legs. It’s soaked through and I can feel her
heat
radiating through it.

“Tiger, you make me so fucking
hard
I think I might jump out of my skin,” I say into her ear.

I curl my fingers around her panties and she sighs, and with my lips I find the spot on her neck, just below her ear that always makes her
moan
.

“There’s one thing that scares me about you,” I say.

“What the fuck scares
you
,” she says.

“I think you want me just as bad,” I say. “You could
destroy
me if you wanted to.”

I grab her panties with the other hand and
pull
. It takes a moment but then the thin fabric tears apart and I toss the torn panties away.

“Dammit, don’t—” She starts, but I put one hand over her mouth.

“Don’t
pretend
you don’t like that, tiger,” I say. “We both know I’m here because you
want
your panties ripped off of you. You
want
someone who’s impolite and rough and goddamn fucks you like it, and when you say you don’t, you’re lying to yourself.”

She’s breathing hard and looks up at me. I take my hand off her mouth and she grabs it, lacing her fingers through mine, her legs wrapped around me.

“You want
me
,” I say. “Right now you’re wet as fuck and you’re just desperate for my cock, and you don’t know what to do about it, because you’re pretty sure it’s the wrong thing to want. But here you are, on your back underneath me, aren’t you?”

I kiss her neck again and she squeezes my hand. I squeeze back.

I press my cock against her and watch her eyes slide shut as the shaft rubs over her clit.

“Where the fuck else would I be?” she whispers. “On my back beneath you is a pretty good place if what I want is for you to fuck me already.”

“Tell me,” I say.

“Why? Sounds like you already know.”

“Because it’s sexy as fuck, and it’s
mine
,” I say. “Because I love the dirty things you say, and I love them because you say them to
me
and because when you say them
you’re
mine.”

She puts her other hand on my face and looks at me with that heavy-lidded pure
sex
look she gets when she’s about to lose control.

“All I thought about for three days was how good it feels when you’re here,” she says. “I went on a date with a perfectly nice guy and all I could do was wish he was you, because all he wanted to do was please me.”

“I don’t please you?” I ask, teasing her.

“You could please me more,” she says.

“Tell me how,” I say.

She pulls my face down to hers so our foreheads are touching.

“You want dirty?” she whispers. “I want you to fuck me
right
now, Alex, because it’s the best thing I’ve ever done and I can’t get enough.”

I press the length of my cock against her, and I can see the way her eyes light up when I don’t do it right away.

“Say it again,” I tell her, my whole body throbbing.

“I need you inside me,” she says, and that’s all it takes for me to lose control completely. I slide inside her and she moans, our faces still pressed together.

“Oh
fuck
you feel good,” she says.

“God
dammit
, tiger,” I say.

It’s good. It’s perfect. When I’m inside her I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, like nothing else in the world even exists.

“I missed you,” she says softly, panting for breath as I fuck her hard and slow, afraid that I’ll never last long enough if I don’t. “I fucking missed
this
.”

“Leaving you wet on the bed in that cabin was the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” I say.

“I was so mad at you for that,” she whispers. “I hated how much I wanted you, Alex.”

I take one knee in my hand and put it over my shoulder and then I’m in her just a tiny bit deeper and she
moans
, her eyes sliding closed as her hips move against me and her back arches.

It feels incredible, like I’m falling, like I’m lost in her.

“Tell me this is
just
fucking,” I say.

I turn my head and kiss the inside of her knee and she’s watching me and the kiss makes her whimper.

“Tell me that the filthy things you say are because we’re
just
fucking,” I say. “Tell it to me while I’m right here, deep inside you, and you’re whimpering because it feels so good.”

She bites her lip and doesn’t say anything, and I fuck her again because it feels
so
good to be inside her like this and I suddenly don’t know if this is going to be the last time.

“You
know
we’re not just fucking,” I whisper. I can feel her muscles flutter around me as I move slowly inside her.

“Don’t,” she whispers.

“This is more,” I go on. I wish I could stop, but I can’t. “
Just
fucking doesn’t feel like this, like I’m only whole when I’m inside you, like when you tell me you want me my dick might just pop.”

I thrust again and she groans, tossing her head back, and
Jesus
it’s beautiful.

“I know,” she finally whispers.

I need her closer. I don’t even know
how
but I do, so I lift her up and move until I’m sitting on the edge of the bed, still inside her, and she wraps her legs around me and moves her hips back and forth so I’m just barely sliding in and out of her.

“Alex,” she whispers.

“I love this,” I growl, my hands on her hips as she
writhes
on my cock. “I love every second I spend inside you and every second I spend touching you and
Jesus
, Tessa, I fucking
need
you.”

She takes my face in her hands.

“I love the way we fuck,” she whispers. “I love the way you make me come so hard I forget my name and the only one I can think of is yours.”

“Say it,” I say. “Come for me.”

I grab her hips and push down and she groans, her forehead against mine.

“Alex,” she whispers.

“Say it again, tiger,” I say. Her pussy muscles flutter around me like she’s losing control, and I’m barely keeping it. The second she goes over the edge I’m done for.

“Alex,” she murmurs again. “God, I’m close, Alex.”

“Let me feel you come,” I say. “
Nothing
feels better than being bare inside you when you come.”

I kiss her and she moans into my mouth, her muscles tightening around me.

“Say my name again,” I growl.

“Alex,” she whispers, and then her muscles clamp down around me. “Oh
fuck
, Alex.”

She whispers
Alex
over and over and that’s what makes me go go over the edge. I feel like I’m drowning. inside her, like I almost don’t know where she ends and I begin. I’m fucking
lost
in her, pulled into a whirlpool of Tessa and I
think
I’m just saying her name over and over again like it’s a prayer, but I don’t even know.