Authors: Cher Carson
“Let me pick you up. I don’t
want you walking over here by yourself.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll see you
then, Tucker. I have to go. Bye.” She tried to avoid her mother’s intense
scrutiny as she held her arms out to her daughter. “There’s my girl. How was
school today?”
Madison rushed into her
mother’s waiting arms. “It was okay. A policeman came to talk to us.”
Joyce raised her eyebrows.
“Is that so? What did he talk to you about?”
“He told us to be careful of
strangers, but I already knew that.”
At the tender age of seven,
her daughter knew far too much. “What else did he say?”
“He said we should look for a
policeman or call 911 if we’re ever in trouble.” She climbed up in her mother’s
lap as she started to laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
“I heard some of the teachers
talk about wanting to date Chief Carlton. They said he was
hot
.” She
covered her mouth as she erupted in a fit of giggles.
Rachel tried to suppress the
feelings of jealousy threatening to erupt. Tucker wasn’t her man. She had no
right to stake her claim. If he wanted to date one of those teachers, there
wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. “You shouldn’t listen in on
conversations that don’t concern you, missy.”
He daughter pouted at the
reprimand. “I couldn’t help it. I was sitting at the end of the row, and they
were standin’ right beside me. They were goin’ on and on and on…”
“Okay, I get the picture,”
Rachel said, sharply. She kissed her daughter’s chubby cheek when she glanced
up at her, seemingly surprised by her tone. “Did you think Chief Carlton was
nice?” Rachel didn’t know what provoked her to ask that question. It’s not like
her daughter would ever have a relationship with Tucker.
“At first he was kind of
scary,” she said, biting her lip. “He had a gun.”
Rachel smiled as she stroked
her daughter’s long, strawberry-blonde hair. “Is that so? Well, you know all
police men have to carry guns, right? It’s for their protection.”
Madison nodded. “Charlie
Mathers said Chief Carlton is the boss of all the policemen, even Danny Blair’s
daddy.”
“Yes, he is.” Rachel nuzzled
her daughter’s neck. “You know, it’s true what Chief Carlton said, honey. The
police are there to help us if ever we need them.” She couldn’t bear the
thought of her daughter watching those same friendly policemen leading her
mommy away in handcuffs when the time eventually came. She had no doubt it
would. Tucker was right. She couldn’t run or hide forever.
“He was kind of funny, too.
He let us ask questions at the end, and he was making jokes and making us all
laugh.”
Rachel smiled at the image of
her big, tough cop putting on a floor show for a bunch of primary school kids.
“It sounds like you had a busy day. Why don’t you go and get washed up for
dinner? Your gramma made your favorite, spaghetti and meatballs.”
“Yeah!” Madison said,
throwing her arms over her head. “I call seconds!”
Joyce smiled as she watched
her granddaughter leave the room.
Rachel was waiting for her
mother’s lecture as soon as Madison was out of earshot. “Well? Aren’t you going
to tell me I’m crazy to see him again?”
Joyce walked over to her
daughter and stroked her hair. “Sugar, moments of happiness are few and far
between in this life, especially for people like us. If that man can give you a
few nice memories, I say go for it.”
Rachel stood up to pull her
mother into her arms. “Thanks, Mama.”
By the time Tucker’s doorbell
sounded at 7:36, he was more nervous than the first time he apprehended an
armed suspect.
He was terrified Rachel
wasn’t going to show up. He’d convinced himself she agreed to the date just to
get him off her back, but when the bell finally announced her arrival, all of
his apprehension melted away.
“Wow,” he whispered when he
caught his first glimpse of her.
She was wearing a black, wrap
around dress with strappy sandals and her long hair blanketed her shoulders in
thick, shiny waves.
She licked her glossy lips.
“Do I look okay? I wasn’t sure where we were going. I hope it’s not too much?”
He grabbed her hand and
tugged her inside before closing the door. “You look incredible, but I have to
admit, the last thing on my mind is taking you out right now.”
She smiled. “Really? What did
you have in mind, Chief?”
“I’m thinking about taking
you upstairs and getting you out of this sexy little dress.” He pulled at the
ties wrapping around her slender waist.
Rachel grabbed his hands to
still his actions and his stomach dropped. She obviously wasn’t ready to pick
up where they left off before he stuck his size twelve boot in his mouth this
afternoon. “You’re still pissed at me.” It wasn’t a question; it was a
statement of fact. “What can I do to make it up to you?”
She sighed. “That’s just it,
Tucker. You have nothing to apologize for. You were just telling me how you
felt… where you saw this going. Unfortunately, I don’t feel the same way.”
His first reaction was to
fight, for her, for them, but he knew he couldn’t force her to feel something
she didn’t. He cleared his throat. He was dangerously close to losing it, but
he wouldn’t let her see what she was doing to him. He still had his pride. “So,
you weren’t feeling it last night, or today, when we were together. Is that
what you’re trying to tell me?”
She ran her hands down the
front of his white button-down shirt. “You know I was. You made me feel things
I never thought I could.”
“Then why the hell are you
doing this?” His voice was raw and raspy. “Why won’t you give us a chance?”
She closed her eyes. “It
wouldn’t be fair to you.”
He clenched his teeth in
frustration. “I’m a big boy. Why don’t you let me worry about how I’ll handle
it if this doesn’t work out the way I want it to?”
Rachel shook her head. “Why
would you want to put yourself through that? You’re just setting yourself up to
be hurt.”
He closed his eyes when she
stroked his cheek. Nothing felt better than the feel of her skin on his. “I
would risk anything, anything, if there was a chance, even a one in million
chance that this could work.” So much for his pride; he was prepared to lay it
at her feet if it would change her mind.
“Please don’t do this,” she
whispered. “You don’t know what this is doing to me.”
Tucker was smart enough to
know when he was fighting a losing battle, and he wasn’t going to lose her, at
least not tonight. “You know what? We don’t have to decide anything right now.
Why don’t we just go out, have a nice dinner, and let nature take its course?”
She smirked. “I think we both
know what will happen if we agree to go with the flow, Tucker. We’ll end up
right back in your big, ole bed, making love all night long.”
That sounded like Heaven to
him right now. There was nothing he wanted more. “Would that be so terrible?”
He pulled her into his arms. He was a fraction of a second away from begging
her not to walk away. His gut told him that if he let her go, he could be
losing the best thing that had ever happened to him.
She leaned her head on his
chest. “You make it so difficult to do the right thing. You’re too damn
persuasive.”
He knew he was wearing her
down. He just wished he didn’t have to work so hard to make her see what was
right in front of them. It was so obvious to him that they had something
special. He could feel it every time they were together. Why was she refusing to
acknowledge it? “Does that mean we’re still on for dinner?”
She sighed. “Was there ever
any doubt?”
He grinned, feeling the
weight of fear being replaced by a shadow of hope. He wouldn’t get ahead of
himself. If he allowed himself to believe this was going to work out, he’d have
a harder fall if it didn’t. He kissed her lips gently. “You won’t regret this. I
promise.”
She shook her head, looking
sad. “No, I won’t have any regrets where you’re concerned, Tucker. No matter
what happens, I want you to know that the time we’ve spent together has been
like a dream come true for me.”
Tucker wanted to bellow in
frustration. Why was she making it sound like she’d already made up her mind
about them? He felt like this dinner was an ending, instead of the beginning
he’d been hoping for. “Let’s go,” he said, threading his hand through hers. He
wasn’t going to give her another opportunity to back out of their dinner. At
least it gave him a few more hours to win her over.
Rachel sat across from
Tucker, admiring his striking features by benefit of candlelight for the first
time. His early summer tan made his bright, white smile all the more arresting,
and the way his long lashes enhanced his dark, mysterious eyes made her wonder
what he was thinking when he took her hand and held it as though he wanted to
say something, but was forcing himself to hold back.
She’d learned so much about
him tonight. He’d been more forthcoming than she expected, and she fell a
little deeper the better she got to know him. If she had spared the time to
consider her ideal man, Tucker would have fit the bill to a tee.
“So, tell me how you got
started in dance,” he said before taking a sip of his merlot. “Given the fact
that you moved around a lot and money was tight, I’m surprised you were able to
continue with it throughout your childhood.”
She sighed as she remembered
the little girl who used to clear a space in the cluttered living room of their
tiny apartment so she could practice. “I wasn’t able to take formal dance
lessons or anything. There was a community center not far from the school where
some of the latch-key kids would go. My sister and I would hang out there
sometimes when the next door neighbor started creeping us out.” She looked down
when he leaned in, looking concerned by her admission. “Anyways, I found out
they offered inexpensive dance lessons, so I got a paper route to pay for
them.” She smiled. “I went six days a week. I fell in love with dance that
year.”
He smiled. “How old were you
at the time?”
“About nine or ten, I guess.
I got a pretty late start compared to most kids, but I made up for it in
effort. I was willing to work twice as hard as anyone else to see results. It
didn’t seem like work to me. Dancing was a gift. It made my crummy life seem
worthwhile. I was finally good at something, and no one could take that away
from me.” She dipped her head when she realized she’d given him a hint as to
how lost she’d been as a little girl.
Tucker reached across the
table to take her hand. “I love to watch you dance. You light up when you talk about
it.”
“It’s been the only constant
in my life. Even when we had to move or I had to start a new school or make new
friends, I knew I would be okay as long as I could find a place to dance.”
He smiled. “Tell me about your
plans for the studio.”
She suddenly felt shy,
sharing that hidden piece of herself with someone else. She had big dreams, but
no plausible way of making those dreams come true. He may see it as little more
than a silly fantasy concocted by an immature woman who was desperate to escape
her sad reality.
She shrugged. “I just want
other little girls to fall in love with dance the way I did. If I can help
foster that passion in some small way, I’d like to.” She smiled. “I had this
one dance teacher, Mrs. Tremain. She was so beautiful and graceful. I wanted to
be just like her.”
He kissed her hand. “Maybe
you could be that teacher for the kids right here in Brant County. The one who
believes in them, ignites their passion, helps hone their craft, and builds
their self-esteem.”
Her mouth fell open as she
stared at him, trying to figure out how he could have known that what she
wanted more than anything was to make a difference in the lives of children.
She cleared her throat as she tried to collect herself. “Sometimes that’s all a
kid needs, someone to believe in them, to help them believe in themselves. So
many kids get involved in drugs because they have no idea who they are or where
they belong. Using drugs helps them to forget their inadequacies for a while,
or helps them find a group of people who are as lost and alone as they are.
They become each other’s support system.” She shrugged. “It’s sad, but true.”
He released her hand but
continued to stare at her intently. “Is that what happened to your sister?”
“I think so. I may have wound
up in the same situation as her had it not been for dance. For me, it’s more
than a vocation. It saved my life.”
He nodded, showing her
without uttering a word that he understood her on a deeper level than anyone,
including her mother, ever had. “Tell me how massage therapy fits into this.”
“I needed to earn some money
so I could get out of that relationship. I had to find a job within walking
distance of my home, since I didn’t have a car.” She sighed as she thought back
to the desperation she was feeling at that time. “I knew if I had to work at a fast
food restaurant, it would take me forever to earn enough money to leave him.”