Read Living in Sin (Living In…) Online

Authors: Jackie Ashenden

Tags: #leukemia, #Older hero, #younger heroine, #erotic, #new zealand, #ballet

Living in Sin (Living In…) (7 page)

She took advantage of you. That’s why you’re having difficulties now.

“Or is that not what you want to hear?”

Kahu blinked, realizing Connor was staring at him. Yeah, well, Anita had taken advantage of him, no denying that. But he’d been fully aware of it at the time. And had wanted it. And, shit, look at everything she’d given him? “No,” he said and grinned. “That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.”

“Excellent. Can I ask what this particular temptation is?”

“Can I ask how you and Victoria are getting on?”

Instantly Connor’s good mood vanished, his straight, dark brows arrowing down.

Kahu lifted a shoulder. “There’s your answer then.”

The other man looked down at the towel he was holding, now twisted between his hands. “She’s mentioned divorce.”

“Jesus.” He really didn’t know what else to say. Connor and Victoria had always seemed like a solid couple until…whatever it was that had broken them apart had happened. Neither of them had told either him or Eleanor what the difficulty had been, which made offering advice somewhat problematic. “I’m sorry, mate. Is she serious?”

“Yes.” The towel twisted between Connor’s strong hands.

Kahu shook his head. He may not know what had split them up, but one thing he was sure of, Connor was still in love with his wife. “Then you’d better make sure to change her mind. Come on.” He put a hand on the other guy’s shoulder. “Let’s go get that beer.”

Friday, Kahu sent Lily a text.
No more Monday nights. I think it’s best for both of us if we stop this now.

He got a response pretty much instantly:
Why not? Scared I’m going to win?

A win meaning him being seduced presumably.

He leaned his elbows on the dark wood of the bar in the Ivy Room and stared at the screen on his phone. It was late afternoon, the bar closed after the lunch crowd and in the process of being cleaned up for a busy Friday night.

Don’t be childish
, he texted back.
And I’m not arguing with you. This is my decision.

A couple of seconds passed and he continued to stare at the phone because if he knew anything about Lily it was that she wouldn’t leave it at that. And sure enough, a moment later, the screen lit up with a call.

Briefly he debated ignoring it. But then she deserved more than that kind of response, didn’t she?

Sighing, he picked the phone up and hit answer. “Like I said, it’s my decision,” he said before she could speak.

“Okay.”

Which he was
not
expecting. “Okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Why was he so disappointed? Why did the fact that she didn’t even protest make him feel shitty? “Oh,” he said, words deserting him in a way they very rarely did. “That’s…settled then.”

“But give me one more Monday.”

He closed his eyes as the disappointed feeling was replaced by something else. Something hotter. Fuck. “Why?”

“You said this was supposed to help with my audition. And I have one more thing I want to try.”

Yes. Let her. Just one more time. What could it hurt? You’re not going to touch her, you know that. And you did promise to help.

Again, fuck. He had promised. He just…had a feeling that it wasn’t going to end well for either of them.

“Please, Kahu? This coming Monday and that’ll be it.” Her husky little voice sounded perfectly calm and certain. No emotional blackmail going on there.

How could he refuse?

You don’t want to refuse.

“All right,” he said reluctantly. “This Monday is the last time.”

There was a small pause, as if she was steeling herself to ask a question. But in the end, all she said was, “Fine. I’ll see you then.” Then she hung up.

Slowly, he lowered the phone and set it back down on the bar. Probably a bad decision to say yes. But what could she do in the space of an hour that she hadn’t managed over the previous two Mondays or on the phone? Anything overtly sexual wouldn’t work and if she tried anything emotional, he’d just boot her out.

It would be fine. Nothing would go wrong.

But as the rest of the weekend passed, he found himself getting more and more tense. He tried to immerse himself in doing the accounts on Saturday, spending the evening in the Ivy Room managing the usual Saturday night madness.

Sunday was cleaning up after the night before then going over to Eleanor’s for dinner with her and Luc.

Unlike Connor, neither of them noticed his distraction, for which he was profoundly grateful.

Monday, he sat in his office, going through his emails and liaising with the real estate agents who were all desperate to get their hands on the club. Prime property, they said. Go for millions, they said. He screwed around with them again because it amused him and because doing that was easier than thinking about what plans Lily had for the night.

Christ, the mental space she was starting to take up in his head was just goddamned ridiculous and he resented it big time.

As the evening and seven o’clock approached, he went into the study and lit the fire. He didn’t want her getting cold like last time. He also didn’t ask himself why that mattered. Then he got caught up with a few original club members who’d come in for a drink, missing the moment she actually arrived.

He was on the point of excusing himself when Mike gave him a nod from the door then jerked his head in the direction of the study.

Kahu ignored the twist of excitement that gripped him, smiling at the people he was with before making an exit.

Striding down the hallway toward the study, he tried to also ignore the anticipation that had merged with the excitement, creating a mix of something volatile he couldn’t even name. What the hell was wrong with him that the thought of a meeting with a twenty-year-old girl was making him feel this way?

He was a sick fuck.

Turning the door handle, he stepped into the study.

The room was warm this time, the fire a muted glow in the hearth.

Lily was standing in the middle of the room swathed in her duffel coat again, her hands in the pockets, looking strangely tense. She wasn’t wearing jeans or leggings this time, her bare legs showing pale beneath the coat. Except…she had ballet shoes on her feet, pink silky ribbons crisscrossing around her ankles. Her hair was neatly gathered into a red-gold bun on the back of her head, not a curl out of place. And she was wearing makeup, her lashes heavily mascaraed and circled with black eyeliner. She looked like she was about to step out onto the stage.

“Sit down.” Lily took a hand out of her pocket and gestured awkwardly at his usual chair. “I poured out the scotch. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No.” Slowly, he walked over to the chair and rested his hands on the back of it. “What’s going on? What’s with the shoes and the makeup?”

She shifted on her feet, restless and nervous looking, then stopped, her shoulders hunching. “Like I said, I need help with my audition. And since you haven’t seen me dance yet…”

Lily. Dancing. His heartbeat sped up for no goddamned reason that he could see. “I’m not a dancer or whatever. I won’t be able to offer you any advice, if that’s what you’re after.”

“I know that. But if nothing else, it’ll be good practice before the audition. I need an audience.”

He sighed and came around the side of the chair, dropping down into it. “Fine.” There wasn’t any harm in it and besides he could admit to himself he was curious. “Dance then.”

She turned away, going over to the side table where a couple of portable speakers were sitting, an MP3 player plugged into them. A tumbler sat next to the speakers. An empty tumbler.

Kahu frowned. Jesus, she must have been nervous if she’d had her scotch already. Did she normally get stage fright? In front of one person?

She bent over the MP3 player and pressed a button. Then she straightened and began undoing the buttons of her coat. She didn’t look at him as she did so but it wasn’t until she’d taken it off that he realized why.

She wore nothing underneath it.

Shock held him motionless as she shrugged off the coat, tossing it onto the couch before coming to stand in the middle of the room, her arms held down in a gracefully curved circle in front of her.

Fucking Jesus Christ. She was completely and utterly naked.

Countless women had taken their clothes off for him. More than a few had even danced naked for him. Shit, he’d had his share of lap dances and had watched strippers pole dance. He’d even gone to a couple of ballets Anita had dragged him to.

But this… This was different. This didn’t feel sexual anymore. Fuck, he didn’t know. He only knew he couldn’t take his eyes off her.

She was slender yet leanly muscled, her legs long and athletic. Her skin so pale she looked like she’d been carved out of porcelain or alabaster. And yet there was color to her. The pink tips of her small, high breasts. The neat little thatch of red-gold curls between her thighs…

Music filled the room, sounded like Mozart. Lily rose up onto her toes, lifting her arms. Then she lifted one leg straight out in front of her, balancing on the tip of one foot effortlessly before opening her arms out and sweeping her leg around behind her.

Kahu couldn’t breathe.

She moved gracefully, weightlessly, like she was about to escape earth’s gravity and lift into the sky. Spinning on one toe before taking a couple of steps forward, a small leap then lifting her arms up to the sky and arching back. A wild, sensual creature…

If the dance had been entirely about sex he wouldn’t have been affected. Not in the slightest. But it wasn’t. The firelight moved over her skin, highlighting the strength of her supple body, the soft curves of those beautiful little tits, catching the gold in the curls protecting her pussy. And yet it wasn’t a display of sex. It was a display of strength.

Christ, he could feel himself getting hard and he knew he should get up and leave. Take himself away before this got out of hand. But he couldn’t walk out in the middle of her performance. It would ruin it.

She was standing in front of him on her toes, her chin lifted. One arm curved above her head, the other outstretched in front of her as if she was reaching for him.

She was blushing furiously but met his gaze without flinching. So proud. So strong. He almost lifted his hand to touch her and then the music changed and she spun away, whirling around and around in a series of perfectly controlled pirouettes.

Now. Fucking now. He should get up and leave.

But still he sat, dry-mouthed and hard, watching her as she danced for him. Naked and vulnerable and yet so damn strong.

Her back arched, her arms lifting, one leg straight up behind her, her body in a gentle curve. Her nipples had hardened into tight little points. And he could see…fucking hell.

He closed his eyes, trying to get control of his breathing. Slickness between her thighs.
Hot pink flesh
.

Kahu reached for his scotch and knocked it back, relishing the burn. Hoping it would cancel the sting of desire that slowly and inexorably crept through him.

Again Lily came closer to where he was sitting. The fire had made the room hot, a drop of sweat sliding down between her breasts, her skin deeply flushed from exertion.

He had to get out. He
had
to.

She stood there, legs apart, up on her toes, her arms above her head, looking down at him, proud as a queen.

And he didn’t know what came over him but he couldn’t stay still. Couldn’t be at the mercy of this inappropriate desire or watch her flaunting it in front of him a second longer.

He put his arms on the chair and pushed himself up in a sudden rush of movement.

She didn’t flinch, almost as if she expected it of him.

And for a second their gazes locked. She, tall and proud, naked and strong. He, fully dressed and breathing fast, his cock hard. Consumed by a hunger he didn’t realize was still possible to feel.

Electricity crackled between them, tension filling the air, a complicated mix of frustration and desire and anger. He could smell her, clean, feminine sweat and flowers. A hint of musk. Her skin glistened in the firelight, her pulse beating fast at her throat.

The music continued to play and before he could move, she’d turned away, taking a couple of precise steps before she kicked one leg out in front of her, another impossible balance on her toes, holding the position before abruptly arching back, kicking even higher, then folding all her limbs up in a graceful fall to the floor.

The music ended.

Silence echoed around them.

He felt like he’d been hit over the head, his ears still ringing with the blow.

Lily moved, shifting from the floor and getting to her feet. The green of her eyes was dark and shadowed, the glitter on her lids from her eye makeup sparkling. Her mouth, full and pouty, was slightly open.

She didn’t say anything, going over to her chair and shifting it so it was angled more toward his. Then she turned and sat down, her hands on the arms, her legs outstretched in front of her, her chin lifted and her gaze confronting. Sweat glistened on her body, her breasts rising and falling in time with her quickened breathing.

“So?” she asked, her voice only a little ragged. “How did I do?”

Chapter Seven

Every muscle in her body felt tense, her fingers digging into the arm of the chair, her thighs quivering. But not because she was tired. No, shit, she felt the opposite of tired, all keyed up and humming with adrenaline instead. Like she wanted to keep moving, keep dancing. Break out of her skin. Do
something.

There was so much energy in the air. In her. She’d never felt that way dancing before. Always her head had been far too much about getting the perfect line, the perfect form, the perfect timing. Making sure her body was doing everything it was supposed to do.

But not tonight.

Oh, she’d felt fucking nervous as hell when she’d taken her coat off and the music had started. And she’d stood there naked in front of him. But then she’d seen the look on his face, the shock. And afterwards… No mistaking the hunger. The desire.

In that moment she’d forgotten about the perfect form, the perfect line. She’d even forgotten about timing. She watched him watch her, letting the music take her where it would, letting her body move as it wanted to. And the freer she’d become, the more intense the look on his face had gotten, the hard ridge in his jeans unmistakable.

He’d followed every move she made as if he’d never seen anything like her before.

And he wouldn’t have, would he? She’d bet her life on the fact that no one had ever danced ballet, naked, in front of him before.

Now it was his turn to stand in front of her. And although he was clothed, there was a nakedness in his expression. In the fierce light in his eyes and the way his hands curled into fists at his sides. In the intensity that vibrated off him.

He was motionless but she could feel the energy… God, it was coming from him.

Her breath caught, excitement shivering through her. Well, she’d wanted that jaded, cynical look off his face and it was gone. Completely. And it made her feel so powerful. Like she could do anything.

“You did good,” Kahu said, his voice even rougher and more frayed-sounding than normal. “And now you can spread your legs for me, ballerina.”

A hot spike of arousal surged through her, along with a healthy dose of shock.

Why are you shocked? Didn’t you want him to do something? Wasn’t that the whole point of the naked dancing?

Sure, but imagination was one thing. Reality was different.

Reality was, in actual fact, way hotter.

Lily didn’t move, wanting to push him, though she didn’t quite understand why. “Oh really. And why should I do that?”

“Because I asked you to. Because it’s what
I
want.” His tone was mild, at odds with the ferocity on his face. “Do as you’re told.”

Oh, that shouldn’t be quite as sexy as it was. It really shouldn’t. But he was standing there with all that energy pouring off him, an intense, sexual energy that held her absolutely riveted. That made her want to do exactly what he’d said.

So she did. Lifting one foot then the other over the arms of the chair, so she was splayed out for him. An incredibly vulnerable, exposing position.

Her heart was racing and she felt so hot, her skin on fire. Like she’d never be cold again. And she ached and ached and ached.

Kahu’s attention shifted down between her legs and she almost gasped, her fingers digging into the fabric of the chair. He hadn’t even touched her and already she was trembling.

The fire was behind him, the expression on his face shadowed. But the glitter in his eyes was unmistakable. He was angry. No, he was furious.

Except when he spoke it was in that same, mild tone. “Like you said last week, there aren’t any rules about touching yourself. So go on. Do it. Show me how you make yourself come like you told me you could, Lily darling.”

She took a ragged breath. “Why are you so angry? What did I do?”

“I don’t like being manipulated.”

“I didn’t—”

“Put your hand between your legs, ballerina, and stop arguing with me. If you’re going to make me burn then you’d better be prepared for some payback.”

Make me burn…

The air rushed out of her. Okay, so she could kind of see why he’d felt manipulated. She’d come in here all naked and stuff, prepared to knock his socks off, but not for him, only for herself. Because she was competitive and she had her pride. Because failure wasn’t an option.

So you’d better take the consequences, hadn’t you?

“W-what if I don’t want to?”

His intent dark gaze didn’t move from hers. “Then you know where the door is.”

So, she could leave. But then that would mean backing down. That would mean admitting she was scared, that she wasn’t ready. Failure.

Fuck that. This was like the moment in the bath, where she’d made herself come imagining him watching her, watching but unable to touch…

Lily put her hand on her stomach and slid her fingers down between her thighs, muscles instinctively tightening as she did so, another wave of heat washing over her.

“Put your thumb on your clit,” Kahu ordered. “Stroke yourself.”

She swallowed, dizzy at the sudden rush of pleasure as she moved her thumb like he said, brushing over the sensitive flesh between her legs. And again. And again. She let out a ragged, gasping breath, shifting restlessly on the seat.

The fire leapt behind him, light flickering over his face. “Slow down and keep it slow.”

No, God, she didn’t want it slow. But there was something so compelling about his voice, about what he was telling her to do that she obeyed without thought, her movements becoming languid, tantalizing. Small, aching circles.

She closed her eyes, pleasure gathering inside her in a tight, hot ball.

“Eyes on me, ballerina.”

It didn’t even cross her mind this time to disobey, lifting her lids to find him watching her. Hot. Dark. So hungry… The air escaped her lungs, shivers whispering over her skin.

“Fingers in your pussy,” he said softly. “Keep that thumb on your clit. Nice and slow, Lily. I want to see you panting for it. I want to see you desperate.”

Oh Jesus. Why was this so fucking hot? Why was she on the edge of orgasm so quickly already?

She didn’t even think about not doing it, reaching lower, easing one finger into her sex. Her flesh felt hot, slick, tight around her finger, her thighs trembling.

“Deeper.” Kahu’s voice sounded much rougher now, his jaw tight, the expression on his face like a man starving.

She slid her finger in farther, her hips lifting instinctively. A gasp escaped her dry throat. God, this was…intense. And so, so good. The pleasure that was rushing through her was inexorable. Unstoppable.

Moving her hand, Lily began to pant, her gaze fixed to his. Watching the effect she was having on him, seeing the darkness move in his eyes.

It was addictive, this kind of power. A power she’d never thought or even expected to have. The power of her passion, her sexuality. Her body working as it should, giving her so much pleasure. And all completely under her control, all totally driven by her…

Until Kahu stepped up to the chair and leaned over her, shocking her into immobility. He put one palm on the back of the chair near her head and without saying a word, reached down and gripped her wrist, pulling her hand away from her body.

The touch of his skin on hers was like a lightning rod, conducting raw energy straight through her. She gasped aloud, freezing in the chair, trembling all over, her body screaming.

Don’t stop. Don’t stop, please.

Perhaps he wasn’t going to stop. Perhaps he was going to put his own hand down there, touch her aching flesh. Slide his finger inside her, make her come so hard.

“Kahu,” she whispered, helplessly.

He was so close, the heat from his body against her bare skin hotter than any fire. And he smelled like laundry fresh off the line, clean and hot in the sun, with a faint spicy scent. Tea tree or cedar or something.

All she could think was yes, fucking finally. He was going to touch her. He was going to do what she’d been wanting him to do for so long.

But he didn’t.

He lifted her hand, his tar-black gaze on hers.

Then he put the fingers that had been between her legs into his mouth.

Heat exploded against her skin, the eroticism of it making her gasp aloud again. “Oh…Jesus…”

Gripping her wrist tightly, he sucked at her fingers then licked them, watching her all the while. And when he finally drew them out of his mouth, he nipped the tips, sending electric shocks echoing down her nerve endings.

She was shaking.

He let her go, stepping back, taking all his heat and that warm, sensual spicy scent with him. “Remember this when you burn for me, ballerina,” he murmured. “Because it’s all you’re going to get.”

Then he turned and stalked out of the room, the door closing with a sharp click behind him. And it was like he’d taken all the heat with him, leaving her shivering and cold and aching in the chair.

Alone.

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