Little White Lies (8 page)

I stuck out my tongue at him.

I took out my phone as the teacher, Mr. Spellman, walked in. I texted under my desk.
Cal wants 2 do a group date nite on Fri. Me. U. Cal. Jacob. Paige. Ryan. U in?

I watched Eric type back.
Totally worth it just to spend time w u.

I had the best guy. A girl couldn't ask for a better boyfriend and I was never going to think about Jacob again. I was with the right guy. No doubt.

“I want to start by talking about an upcoming group project,” Mr. Spellman said. “In a few weeks, you'll turn in a paper and will present your research to the class. Each person will have a different job, from researching, to writing, to typing, to preparing the PowerPoint you'll need to present to the class.”

Mr. Spellman stepped over to his dark cherry wood desk and picked up a folder. “I've broken up the class. You should trade contact info with your partners so that you're ready to start working soon.”

I looked over at Eric.

“First group,” Mr. Spellman said. “Kaavya, Leesa, Roger, and Wess.”

He went through a few more people and with every name that was called that wasn't mine, Jacob's, or Eric's,
I shrank into my chair. There was
no
way we'd all end up in the same group. None.

“Next,” Mr. Spellman said. He ran his finger down the page. “Eric, Aaron, Taylor …”

Safe so far …

“And Jacob.”

I almost let my head slam into my desk. That was the WORST possible group! Ever!

I looked at Eric whose eyes were on Jacob's. Both guys glared at each other. I tried not to squirm, but I was stuck between them.

For a second, I thought one of the guys would ask for a new group. I didn't even hear Mr. Spellman call my name or announce my partners. What was going to happen when my sort-of-ex and current boyfriend were forced to work together?

LATER THAT AFTERNOON, I UNHOOKED A
tacked-up Charm from the crossties. Our lesson was on the outdoor course today. And for once, I felt ready. I loved jumping and so did Charm. Plus, I was still basking in my birthday glow.

I'd finally let myself relax and the afternoon had been perfect. Mom and Dad had called during lunch and they'd both sang the
entire
happy birthday song. They said Paige had e-mailed them about my party and my presents from them would be there. I smiled to myself. Things were finally feeling right again.

My phone buzzed on top of my tack trunk and I grabbed it to check the message before class. It was from Paige.

RYAN SAID YES!!! OMG!!!!

I typed back.
Of course he said Y 2 Paige Parker! Yaaay!

A quick squeeze of panic gripped my chest, then it disappeared. My happiness for Paige won over my nerves about the night out with Callie and Jacob.

I stuck my phone inside my tack trunk and led Charm out of the stable. It was cooler today and I was glad—the days of intense heat were exhausting on both horse and rider.

Jasmine led Phoenix next to me and I noticed her breeches. They were the warm-up breeches that Callie and I had been drooling over since we'd seen them in an issue of
Young Rider
. They were black, but the insides of the knees were pink and covered with tiny silver stars. We couldn't wear those to shows, but Mr. Conner didn't mind if we wore fun breeches to practice. All of mine were basic—black, brown, white, navy. But Jasmine's new pair was envy-worthy.

“Haven't seen you around the Winchester common room much,” Jas said. “Are you sneaking off to spend every free second with your boyfriend?”

“No,” I said. “I've been busy with little things like homework and riding.”

“So you're
not
hanging out with Eric? Huh.” Jas smirked. “Interesting.”

“I didn't say that,” I said. “I said I wasn't spending
every single second
with him. I'm not clingy like that.”

I halted Charm, mounted, and rode him away from Jasmine to warm up. What she'd said made
no
sense. Interesting? How?!
Whatever,
I told myself.
Ignore her.

Heather showed up seconds later on Aristocrat and the three of us spent ten minutes warming up the horses before Mr. Conner started the lesson.

“Let's work on a few practice jumps,” he said. He wore a Canterwood Crest baseball cap to shield his eyes from the sun.

“Heather, you'll ride first. Then, Jasmine and Sasha. Everyone's horses are properly warmed up, correct?”

“Yes,” we said.

“Good,” Mr. Conner said. “Jas and Sasha, move to the side of the arena. Heather, you can begin when you're ready.”

Jasmine and I trotted Phoenix and Charm to the side of the arena and turned them to face the five jumps Mr. Conner had set up. Three verticals of increasing height and two oxers.

Heather circled Aristocrat once before letting him straighten and approach the first fence. His canter was smooth and she collected him well before the jump.
Aristocrat leaped it easily and moved toward the second jump—a taller vertical with yellow and white poles. They took the highest vertical and Heather let his speed increase a fraction to give him enough momentum to get over the oxer. Aristocrat's chestnut mane whipped into the air as the gelding jumped, his knees tucked and his body relaxed on the landing. He asked for more rein before the second oxer, but Heather held him back.

“Nice work,” Mr. Conner said. Heather dipped her head in thanks and let Aristocrat slow to a trot, then a walk. “Evaluate yourself. What did you do well and what could you improve on?”

Heather halted Aristocrat beside me and looked at Mr. Conner. “He paid attention over every fence, but he was too eager before the first oxer. He wants to go faster when he doesn't need to and he would have been tired on a longer course.”

“I agree,” Mr. Conner said. “That's an excellent observation, Heather.”

Heather smiled and Jas rolled her eyes.

“Jasmine, go ahead,” Mr. Conner said. “Please take your time over the course.”

Heather and I shot looks at each other. Mr. Conner still thought Jasmine moved too fast over jumps and he
constantly reprimanded her about racing through courses. It had cost her a spot on the advanced team this fall when she'd first tried out.

Jasmine, unlike Heather, didn't give Phoenix a circle to settle. She heeled him forward and pointed him at the first jump. Phoenix cleared each one with ease and I was almost transfixed by the way he tackled each jump. His blue glitter bell boots flashed over each jump and I wished I'd put my favorite pink ones on Charm. But I knew he hated them, so I'd put on his green ones.

Jasmine finished the course, and with a triumphant smile, rode back to Heather and me.

“What did you think?” Mr. Conner asked, tapping his clipboard against his leg.

Jasmine pushed back her helmet. “Phoenix was perfect. He didn't miss a step and we applied everything we learned at YENT camp.”

Had she met Mr. Conner? Wrong answer.

Mr. Conner frowned. “So there's no room for you or your horse to improve?”

Jasmine was silent for a second. “No, you're right. Sorry. Phoenix is a little eager between fences.”

“And?” Mr. Conner prompted.

“And it was my fault for letting him rush,” Jas said.

Mr. Conner nodded and his face was serious. “That's a better answer. Let me say something to
all
of you.”

We looked at him.

“If you think because you've made the YENT that you're done learning—you're wrong,” Mr. Conner said. His voice was low. “The second someone begins to think she has nothing left to learn as a rider, her career is over. There's
always
something to learn. If you think you know everything about riding, then please resign from the YENT. Mr. Nicholson and I will only work with riders who want to grow.”

I knew that speech wasn't directed at me. Unlike Jas, I'd never thought for a second that I had nothing to learn. I was the opposite—I felt like I knew
nothing
compared to them. Sometimes, I wondered if Jas was right—no matter what I did, I'd never be a rider who had a shot at the United States Equestrian Team or the Olympics. But it was my dream. I had to keep reminding myself that Jas was just trying to intimidate me off the team.

Across the arena, I watched someone walk through the grass and stop at the arena fence.

Callie.

She climbed the fence and sat on the top rail. She waved at us, then sat still—watching. There was no rule
that said you couldn't observe lessons, but it would have tortured me to watch people ride when I couldn't. And I could barely stand to look at her. She'd be in the arena right now if it weren't for me. But I knew why she was here—Callie was showing up to support me. After I'd told her how alone I'd felt, she'd come to be an ally. Even though she couldn't practice with us, she was doing whatever she could to make me feel better.

“Sasha,” Mr. Conner said. “You may go.”

I trotted Charm forward, my eyes meeting Callie's. She gave me a thumbs-up and mouthed,
You got it.

Callie was trying to help, but her presence rattled me. I tried to focus and concentrate on Charm. I let him into a canter and he approached the first vertical. We soared into the air and when we landed, he tugged the reins and increased his speed. We didn't have enough distance between jumps and he took off a half second too late before the second vertical. His knees knocked the plastic rail and it tumbled to the ground with a
thunk
.

I did half halt, easing him, and his long strides propelled us to the next jump. We flashed by Callie and I tried not to look at her.
Focus!
I yelled at myself. I stared between the tips of Charm's ears and looked ahead at the next jump.

I started counting strides.
Three, two, one, now!
I shoved my hands up along Charm's neck and leaned forward, lifting my seat slightly out of the saddle. Charm jumped, landed cleanly, and we cantered to the final oxer.

Charm snorted and asked for more rein. I gave him some and let him build a bit more speed to get over the oxer. He rocked back on his haunches and upward. His body stretched over the oxer's spread and he landed softly on the other side.

“Good boy,” I said, patting his neck.

“Nice,” Mr. Conner said. “What did you think?”

I rested my hands on Charm's withers. “I lost focus and that's why he knocked the rail. But he didn't let it affect the oxer and he didn't lose his confidence after we pulled down the rail.”

“That's true,” Mr. Conner said. “But don't be so hard on yourself. You did lose concentration and he took advantage of it, but we need to work with him to keep
his
focus, even if you lose yours for a few seconds.”

I nodded. Mr. Conner was obviously trying to make me feel better.

“Let's run through a couple of flat work exercises, then we'll stop for today,” Mr. Conner said. “Space out and do a sitting trot.”

I sat to Charm's trot and we passed Callie. I tried not to look at her and to keep my focus on Charm. Charm, always in tune to my moods, stiffened and let his trot switch from smooth to bumpy. I took a breath, forcing myself to relax in the saddle, but I couldn't when Callie was watching. Every time we went by her, I felt a surge of guilt.

“Sasha,” Mr. Conner called. “Pull Charm to a walk, then ask him for a trot again.”

I flushed. It was a beginner mistake. I shouldn't have any problems with a sitting trot by now. I slowed Charm, and Jasmine edged around us, trotting by and cutting in front of us. Phoenix's tail streamed behind him and, unlike Aristocrat, he didn't swish his tail in Charm's face when Jasmine forced him in our path.

I asked Charm to trot, and this time I pushed my tailbone into the saddle and focused on keeping my hands light. I stayed relaxed and forced Callie out of my brain. She was here for support—not to rattle me—and that's how I had to take it.

“Posting trot,” Mr. Conner called. “Trot for a lap, then cross over the center and reverse directions.”

Heather, Jasmine and I started posting. I found the right lead immediately and rose and fell with Charm's
shoulder. Ahead of me, Aristocrat tossed his head and tried to jump into a canter.

Mr. Conner didn't need to tell Heather what to do. She tightened the reins, pulled Aristocrat in a circle, and made him settle before realigning him along the wall. Heather was in total control after that.

Mr. Conner worked us for another half hour before dismissing class. “Good work, everyone, and I'll see you tomorrow.”

I rode Charm up to Callie and she smiled at me. “Good practice,” she said.

“But we knocked the rail and—”

“Omigod,” Callie interrupted, holding up a hand. “Don't make me slap you. You knocked
one
rail. It happens! Stop it.”

I grinned. “Thanks. I needed that.”

And that's why Callie was my BFF—she knew how to handle my freak-outs.

“Awww, this is just
so
cute,” Jas said, riding up beside me. She halted Phoenix, and he and Charm sniffed muzzles. They got along even though Jas and I couldn't stand each other. I liked Phoenix, too. I just thought he needed a different owner.

“What?” I asked.

“Your BFF who didn't even make the YENT showed up to be ‘supportive.' But really? Be honest, Callie.”

Callie glared at her. “About what, Jas?” she snapped.

“You're here to watch Sasha self-destruct. You're waiting for Mr. Conner to finally kick her off the team so you can take her spot. Just be real about it, Cal. That fake BFF attitude is so obnox.”

Callie jumped off the fence and walked up to Phoenix. She held his reins under his chin, stroking his neck.