Shay
Dipping the Stick
Jenn looks tense when I find her sitting with Darby at the kitchen table. Both women stare at me and say nothing until I ask them if something’s wrong. Darby’s soft smile makes me panic.
“Is Ford hurt?”
“No, Shay. Sit down.”
As I join them, Jenn fiddles with her ponytail and Darby adds way too much sugar to her coffee. I wait for them to tell me why they look like someone died.
Jenn sighs loudly. “No doubt at some point in our marriage, Lucky has dipped his stick in another woman’s tank.”
“Charming,” Darby mutters.
“I told him when we got married that I never wanted to catch him. If I did, I’d take a carrot shredder to his cock. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t do it, just that he’s careful so I don’t find out”
“She has a point coming,” Darby tells me.
“Ford dipping his stick in someone else’s tank doesn’t mean you should bail on him.”
The mature thing would be to remain cool. Fuck maturity! Tears bite at my eyes and I struggle not to fly into a dramatic freak out.
“It’s been three days.”
“Ford’s never been a one woman kind of man. He’s under stress and the idiot doesn’t know any other way to relax.”
“It’s been three fucking days. If he dipped his stick somewhere else, he can fuck off.”
“We don’t know for sure. Not really,” Darby says.
Jenn sighs. “I saw him giving a chick a ride home and she’s the type to thank a guy by sucking him off. Full on daddy issues, that one. That doesn’t mean Ford whipped it out for her.”
Crossing my arms, I tell myself I’m angry. I say the words out loud too.
“Don’t be angry until you know.”
“It’s not like we’re in love,” I mutter, trying to give Ford an out for his cheating.
“You just started dating. He might not even know to keep his dick in his pants.”
“He told me not to make any decisions about leaving Blairsville,” I mutter, angry again. “That kinda implies he gives a shit if I’m still around when he’s done with club business. Oh, and he sent me his VD clean bill of health thing which means nothing if he plans to fuck other chicks. We haven’t used condoms. Fuck, I hope my pussy doesn’t rot.”
The women glance at each other then Darby decides to take the rational route with my growing mood swings.
“Men think different than we do. No way should you assume anything. Jenn could be wrong about what she saw.”
“Don’t put this on me.”
“I told you not to tell her.”
“I’d want to know. What if Joker was fucking around behind your back? Wouldn’t you want to know or would you rather have everyone talking shit behind your back?”
Darby waves her off. “That’s different. We were married. The whole vows and so forth. Shay and Ford have been together for less than two weeks.”
“Whatever.”
“What should I do?” I mumble, sad now.
“Ask him. Don’t play games. This isn’t high school and Ford isn’t a boy. Ask him then react to what he says. If he admits to messing around, dump him or keep him. Do something, but don’t do it until you hear from him.”
“Plenty of other men in Little Memphis,” Jenn says. “I can set you up with ten by the end of the day.”
Standing up, I sigh dramatically. My self-pity feels good, but I know it can’t last.
“Thank you for telling me and giving me advice. I need to throw a huge fit and cry in the shower. Once I’m done, I’ll do that mature patient thing you guys suggested.”
Leaving them, I first punch the shit out of a pillow on my bed. Next, I cry like a baby in the shower. Ford feels so far away now. Despite wanting to kick his ass, I miss him. I mostly want him to hold me and promise the fantasy isn’t over.
Ford
Heart Troubles
Waking up early, I’m ready to see Shay. Three days apart feels like a damn eternity and I need her in my arms to be sane again.
Knocking on the door, I frown at how Darby frowns at me. She says nothing, just calls for Shay. I hear a kid talking inside and figure she belongs to Bebe. I’m glad they weren’t around when we grabbed Paro.
Shay walks outside then keeps walking until we’re standing next to my Harley. She’s obviously tense, pissed maybe. Her gray eyes are impossible to read and I suspect she’s ready to run back to Hawthorne. Only three days apart and she wants to ditch me and her friends.
“No hello kiss?”
“Did you miss me?” she asks, hands on her hips.
I step back. “What is this? You’re pissed, so get to the point. I’m too old to play games.”
“I heard you gave a chick a ride home the other night. I was just wondering if you stuck around and had her help you get over missing me.”
“This fucking place and the gossip.”
“Did you fuck her?” Shay asks, losing her fire.
“What if I did?”
“I guess, I’d feel like a fucking idiot for not realizing you would.”
“What do you want from me? I do the club’s dirty work. I’m not Lucky or Joker. I can’t play family man when my hands are covered in fucking blood.”
“I know what you do. It doesn’t stop me from feeling what I do.”
The look on her face pisses me off, mostly because I’m the reason it’s there. “Your feelings are bullshit. They’re a kid’s romantic view of life. None of it’s real.”
Shay looks like I’ve hit her. She shrinks a little in front of me and I feel like an asshole. I’m right though. We’re living a fantasy and her woman rage is ridiculous.
“You can blow me off,” Shay says, fighting to sound tough, “but fuck you for saying my feelings are wrong or don’t matter. They might not mean shit to you, but they’re real for me. Even knowing I shouldn’t, I fell for you. I really didn’t want to, but I did. I don’t need you rubbing my mistake in my face.”
Scratching at my chin, I get the urge to climb on the Harley and leave. This is the moment I knew was coming and I refuse to blow it off. I always knew Shay couldn’t stay with me, but I enjoyed the ride. Now, I need to back off.
Except I can’t.
Not when she’s standing in front of me crying and needing comfort. How the fuck do I let her suffer when I can give her what we both want and make the pain stop? Even if it’s a mistake, why can’t I make it? Anyone else would and I’m no fucking hero.
“Shit,” I growl, running my hands through my hair.
Shay stares at me. I know she’s hoping I’m playing with her. When I cup her face, Shay’s eyes hold such hope.
“It’s a helluva fantasy we’ve built, but how long can it last?”
“How the fuck would I know? You banged some bitch.”
I press my forehead against hers. “I’m an asshole, but I only want you. I dropped that bitch home and left. You can call the bitch and ask her if you don’t believe me.”
“If you didn’t fuck her, we should probably stop calling her a bitch.”
“Yeah, probably.”
Shay’s gaze hardens. “If you fuck someone else, I’m fucking someone else too. Just saying.”
My stomach twists at the thought of her with another man. I’ll kill him too. It won’t even be a choice, much like needing Shay isn’t.
I suck at her lower lip, letting my tongue lick at hers. She presses her hands against my chest and frowns.
“Why did you let me think you fucked that girl? You’re not usually mean. To me anyway.”
Sighing, I wish we could skip the “talk.” Except Shay is staring at me with wet eyes and I’m the asshole who caused her tears.
“I saw a chance to get out of being together and I gave it a try. Turns out, I don’t want an out.”
Shay’s expression freaks me out. She isn’t angry or relieved. She’s considering my words and wondering if ending things might be the sanest route.
“I’ve been with thousands of women and you claimed the one night that you fucked four hundred billion men,” I say and Shay smiles slightly. “Out of all those people, you’re the only one that makes my heart hurt. Do you know how stupid I feel saying my heart hurts? I feel like a damn pussy, but I’m saying the words because they’re true.”
“I give you heart trouble,” Shay whispers. “You own my heart. I don’t know if that’s the same thing though.”
“For me, it is.”
Shay nods, but she’s thinking again. Man, I fucking hate when she starts thinking.
Shay
Only Seven More Minutes
Ford rests against the headboard when I return from the bathroom in the negligee I bought at Wal-Mart. He tenses at the sight of me, ready to skip the striptease. Ford even curls his finger for me to come to bed.
“I picked a song they played at the club,” I say, ignoring both his finger and erection waving at me. “It’s one of the few I can keep rhythm with.”
I set my phone to play
One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer
by George Thorogood. Ford smiles when the song starts, but his smile fades when I begin to move. He isn’t upset like I immediately assume. Ford’s erection wants me in bed, not dancing around in my pink heels.
“I have no rhythm.”
“You keep telling me that,” he says in a low hungry voice. “Finish dancing later. Come to bed now.”
Smiling, I lift my arms into the air and shimmy for him. “Patience.”
“Three days,” he says like those words explain everything.
“Three times,” I murmur, reminding him of how many times he found hard relief so far.
Ford exhales hard, his gaze fixating on me.
“I have no pole to work with, so I’ll use the wall,” I say, leaning back against it and sliding down as I inch the top of my negligee over my head.
When I toss the top at him, Ford glares hard at me.
“What?” I ask, shifting my hips back and forth to the beat.
“I’m not happy other men saw you like this.”
I consider pointing out how many women saw his hard cock pressed against his stomach. Instead, I smile softly.
“Those gross old dudes, you mean? They were nasty. It’s why I refused to do lap dances. No touching,” I murmur, leaning over to caress his hand.
Just as I expect, Ford makes a move, but I step away. “Bad boy,” I tease, giving him a smile. “I’m not done.”
“Shay.”
“Yes, Ford?” I ask, shaking my ass for him. “Is there something you want, sweet Ford?”
“You on my cock.”
Turning, I grin. “At the club, we weren’t fully nude. I want to show you everything like I never did with them.”
I shake my ass as I slide off my panties. Bending forward, I wave at Ford between my legs. He growls at my teasing and pats the bed.
“Oh, I should get myself hot before I shimmy over to see you.”
Ford exhales hard again like a raging horny bull. Turning about to face him, I laugh at his expression then caress my nipples.
“Mmm…this feels good,” I sigh, licking my fingers before teasing my hard nipples again. “So good.”
“I hate you,” he growls.
“I’m not ready. Let me prepare for your throbbing manmeat,” I say, laughing as soon as the words pass my lips. “Manmeat.”
Ford sits up, losing his temper. I can’t imagine what he’s like at a strip club. Does he grab the girls and go caveman on them too?
Ignoring him, I turn and sway to the music. My fingers slid slowly over my bare skin, ending between my legs. Closing my eyes, I imagine Ford touching me.
“Shay,” he growls again.
“Hush,” I say, glancing at my phone. “The song only has seven more minutes. I’m sure I’ll be plenty wet by then.”
I flinch when he climbs out of bed and rushes at me. I don’t know what I expect, but it’s not to be flipped over so my legs are flying in the air.
“Ford!” I cry, thinking he’s knocking me down.
Holding me upside down, Ford murmurs, “Yes, Shay?”
“What are you doing?” I ask, placing my hands on the floor in a panic.
“Getting you wet.”
“No, wait…”
Ford lifts me so my thighs hang over his shoulders and my ass straight in the air. I want to complain until his tongue tastes my pussy and I lose the ability to speak. Ford isn’t playing around. No teasing, just deep tongue fucking until I’m a babbling wet mess.
Even lost in the pleasure, I take his cock and stroke it. My tongue licks away the pre-cum, causing Ford to groan as he forces me over the edge.
“Shit fuck crap!” I cry as he sucks until I hang limply from his arms. “I give up.”
Ford bites my inner thigh. “And the song isn’t even over yet.”
“Asshole,” I laugh.
Ford turns towards the bed and lets me tumble onto the tussled sheets. I twist onto my stomach and give his cock a lick.
“Want me to suck you?” I purr, swinging my heeled feet. “Is it my turn to make you scream now?”
Ford caresses my head then shakes his. “I want to fuck what I just tasted.”
Grinning, I roll over and spread my legs. “Come and get it, big guy,” I say, using my fingers to spread my pussy for him.
Ford shudders as he fills me with one hard thrust. I shudder too at the way he opens and stretches me. The way his cock owns me, until I’m desperate for more. Beg, lie, cheat, or steal, I’ll do anything to belong to Crawford Reed.
Ford
No Normal Funeral
Shay looks fucking gorgeous when she arrives for Tiny’s funeral. I gave her cash to buy new heels. These are black, matching the dress she borrows from Darby. I know I shouldn’t be sporting an erection at a funeral, but Shay is the sexiest creature in the world.
“Why are you smiling?” she whispers.
“You’d know the answer if you looked in the mirror before leaving the house.”
Leaning against me, Shay stares into my eyes with her sexy gray ones. I hate seeing her so open and it makes my heart hurt. I really can’t be soft at a club funeral.
Shay’s hand slides into my jacket to where my gun is strapped.
“This isn’t a normal funeral,” she whispers.
“No, it’s not,” I say, playing with a lock of her hair blowing in the wind. “Something fucked up is going on with the club and in different parts of Little Memphis. No one’s really talking about it. Silence pisses off people and makes them tense.”
“I’ll stay close to you and keep my mouth shut.”
“Good girl,” I say, kissing the top of her head. “I’m glad you’re here. Dealing with these fuckers is easier when I have something pretty to look at.”
Shay smiles, but she’s nervous. Others might not notice, but I know her now.
We enter the church after Joker. He walks with Darby holding onto one arm and Amanda the other. They sit near the front of the church while I find Pax in the back watching a video on his phone.
“I’m bored,” he says. “No one is paying attention to me.”
I know he’s fucking around because we’re always on the outside at these functions. It’s our own fault too. We’ve never played well with others.
“Is this what you look like when sad?” Shay teases, sitting next to him. “Will you cry soon? Should I find you tissues?”
Pax grins. “Is your friend Baby hot?”
“Her name is
Bebe
and she’s a dog,” Shay says, leaning her head against my shoulder.
Pax grins. “Invite her to dinner, so I can make sure she’s worthy of your friendship.”
“She’s not into guys. Hardcore lesbian.”
“Lesbian, huh?”
“A smelly lesbian with a leaky eye and chronic diarrhea.”
Pax narrows his eyes. “How can she have a kid if she doesn’t like cock?”
“We’re in church.”
“So it was a miracle birth, then?”
Shay rolls her eyes and focuses on me. “I want at least two babies.”
“Right now?” I balk.
“Oh, hell, no. I like sleeping too much.”
Pax leans over and smiles. “Ford’s babies will be huge. Imagine shoving those out of your vagina. Girl, you’ll never walk again.”
I wrap an arm around a laughing Shay. “I don’t want kids.”
Her smile fading, Shay studies me to see if I’m lying. I look her in the eyes and give her my most serious expression. Instead of falling for my bluff, she smiles and leans her head against me again.
“At least two. A boy and a girl would be best. We’ll worry about the details when I’m much older and less interested in sleep.”
I frown at how well she reads me. Trying to imagine a kid of my own, I shake my head. My life leads to a coffin at the front of the church.
Thinking about Tiny, I know he was no one without his old man. If Big Dick hadn’t been in the club, his kid would have lived a long nothing life. Instead, he’s dead with his mama weeping feet away.
I want to keep Shay. This fact isn’t up for debate. What I don’t know is if I have the stomach to give her a life where she buries her baby one day.