Little Bird (6 page)

That week Spence went out of his way to say hello to me everyday, which I could see made the music girls jealous. I felt strangely special when the girl groupies who dogged Spence's every step muttered about me and stared at me with narrowed eyes. For the first time I felt like I was someone at Derwent College.

‘I don't trust him,' Tegan said. ‘Be careful or he'll have you babied up and brainfried like Colette.'

Tegan was just jealous – it wasn't often that someone showed interest in me. Tegan was used to being the one that people whispered about. I thought smugly of the photo Spence had shared with me. He'd never show that picture to Tegan, probably not even to his goth groupies.

On Thursday night at dinner, Shandra said, ‘Colette dropped into the office today and showed me the sketches of the dress. She needs to measure you. I said you'd call her.'

‘What are the dresses like?'

Shandra ate another mouthful of peas. ‘All right. Kind of cute, I guess.'

‘But what do they
look
like?'

‘You'll see, she can show you the sketches when you go to be measured. Go this weekend, okay? She's so slack these days, takes her ages to get round to anything.'

‘Shan!' Mum admonished. ‘She's got a tiny baby.'

‘Yeah, but it's not like she ever goes out! She's home all the time and the baby just sleeps and stuff.'

Stefan shook his head, sawing his steak. ‘Those words will come back and bite you on the bum one day, Shan. Babies are hard work.'

Shandra made a face.

‘I think it's lovely of her to offer to make the dresses,' Mum said.

‘I didn't
ask
her to. I wanted shop-bought dresses.'

‘She probably can't afford an expensive dress, Shan.'

‘I can't afford one either,' I said, but no one paid any attention to me, of course.

Shandra was unforgiving. ‘She should have thought of that when she agreed to be my bridesmaid.'

‘Have a bit of compassion, Shandra,' Mum said.

‘I'm sick of everyone talking about money all the time!' Shandra said. ‘It's a wedding! Of course it costs money. Everything has to be perfect.'

‘I know, darls,' Mum said. ‘But you don't want to start your married life with huge debts. And you can't expect a single mum to come up with a couple of hundred dollars for a dress.'

‘It's meant to be the happiest day of my life.' Shandra said, sounding as if she were about to bung on the tears.

I made a face. Shandra needed to get over herself.

‘Shandra,' I said seriously. ‘At moments like this, you should ask yourself, what would Nana want you to do?'

‘Shut up! I can't believe you'd belittle my connection with Nana. How dare you speak ill of the dead?'

‘Girls,' Mum said, rubbing her forehead.

‘What would you know anyway?' Shandra hissed at me. ‘Who'd marry you?'

‘Who said I wanted to get married?' I sneered like it was a dirty word, but I was enjoying myself. It was a dinner
and
a show.

‘Girls, stop. Can't we get through one meal without an argument? Ruby-lee will get measured for her dress this weekend,' Mum said. ‘I'll drive her on Saturday. It'll be fine, Shandra. You'll see. It'll be the most beautiful wedding in the whole world and Ruby-lee and Colette will be lovely bridesmaids. Colette's got more fashion sense in her little finger than any of those shops in the mall.'

I rang Colette after dinner, my heart fluttering. Unlike most of the girls I know, I hated talking on the phone. I was actually happy when I lost my mobile phone and Mum refused to buy me a new one.

‘Shan's got you on the case, has she?' Colette said. ‘She doesn't waste any time.'

‘You mean Bridezilla?'

Colette laughed.

‘Is Saturday all right?' I asked.

‘Sure,' said Colette. ‘What time?'

I riffled through my mental diary. Yeah, right. ‘Any time.'

‘How about twelve? Then I can go to Salamanca market first and cook up Maisy's food for the week.'

‘Sure.'

There was a pause then we both began speaking at once. ‘I don't know if you —' ‘I wanted to say —'

We both laughed nervously.

‘You first,' Colette said.

‘I was going to say that if you want me to look after Maisy again, I'd be happy to.' I couldn't keep the eagerness out of my voice.

‘Thanks, Rubes. I can't pay you though.'

‘That's okay. I mean, I liked doing it.'

‘Are you sure? 'Cause, well, I don't know if it's too soon to ask, but actually, there's this gig on Saturday afternoon, it's the band I used to play with. It'd be too loud for Maisy, but I'd love to go. You could come here for lunch and the measurements and then I could pop out for a couple of hours. You wouldn't have to stay here. You could take her out in the pusher, to the park or the shops . . . if you wanted. I mean, you've probably already got plans.'

‘Oh no, I'd love to. I really would.'

‘Fantastic. You're a legend. So see you at twelve then?'

We said goodbye and I put the phone down. I hummed as I walked up the hall and into my room. I was supposed to be doing my homework, but I lay down on my bed and stared at the white ceiling. In my mind I pictured myself walking through the park, pushing a smiling Maisy in the pram, golden sun streaming down on both of us.

And then, as if taking on a life of its own, suddenly Spence appeared in my fantasy, walking beside me, with his hand on the small of my back. Maisy was asleep in the pram. Under the trees where no one could see us, we stopped, me and Spence, autumn leaves drifting down. And there under the trees, our bodies warm despite the cold air rushing around us, we kissed.

7

Spence was about to kiss me again when Shandra burst into the room.

‘Haven't you ever heard of knocking?' I snapped, sitting upright, embarrassed at being caught out, as though my fantasy was a movie projected on the wall.

Shandra knocked feebly on the open door. I rolled my eyes.

‘Hey, Sis. I've got a favour to ask.'

‘Yeah?' I asked suspiciously. ‘What?'

‘Daddy Darling is taking me out to dinner tomorrow night to talk about the wedding. Will you come? For moral support? Please?'

More wedding talk. I groaned.

‘Pwease?' Shandra asked again, fluttering her lashes. ‘Pwetty pwease, with sugar on top?'

‘Is Paula going to be there?'

Shandra snorted, dropping the cutesie act. ‘As if she'd let Dad off his leash! She's been even worse since she spawned.'

Even though Dad had left us for Paula, Paula was horribly jealous of Mum, and totally resented any time Dad spent with me and Shandra. I don't think I've seen him on his own since I was thirteen.

‘All right, but you owe me. You owe me something huge and tied with a bow.'

‘Thank you!' Shandra threw her arms around me. ‘Thank you, thank you, thank you. I wuv you. You're the best sister in the whole world.'

‘Yeah yeah,' I said, pushing her off. She'd interrupted my daydreaming and brought me back to the real world of homework versus weddings for the ultimate suck award. ‘Bugger off. I have to do my English assignment, or Ms Betts will have me kicked out of school.'

My Memory by Ruby-lee King

About three weeks before my thirteenth birthday I came home and there were plates broken on the kitchen floor. A lot of plates. ‘What happened?' I asked Mum. ‘Oh I just dropped some plates,' she said. ‘Okay,' I said and went to my room. That night Mum told us Dad wasn't coming home and Shandra said is he working late again and Mum said no he just wasn't coming home because he wasn't going to be living with us anymore. And that was how they got divorced. I already knew lots of kids whose parents were divorced so it was no big deal. At school everyone was like, ‘yeah?' Then it was my birthday and Dad came to see us. He went to Shan's room and talked to her and then he came to my room and gave me a present, it was Barbie and I knew he hadn't picked it or wrapped it or written in the card ‘from Joe and Paula'. Dad was always Dad not Joe and who was Paula? ‘You're going to be seeing a lot more of Paula,' Dad said and I already didn't like her because who buys a thirteen year old a Barbie? Anyway we hardly ever see them.

As for Barbie that night I cut off her hair and tried to dye it black with shoe polish and when that didn't work I got my mum's lighter and I melted her hands and feet then I threw her in the bin and then later I cried because I wished I hadn't done it because she was so pretty and all new in the box and even if she was a crap present she was mine and Dad had given her to me.

It was probably Paula who chose the classy fish restaurant in town. She used to work at the university before she had William. She was only a receptionist like Shandra, but she thought it made her important because she hung out with fusty old professors. The restaurant was mostly empty, perhaps because it was so early. Looking around at all the stiffly folded napkins and wine glasses on the empty tables made me feel like an intruder. When we were kids if Dad took us out to eat, we went to the fish and chip place on the wharf, got takeaway and sat in the park to eat it. I missed those days.

Paula was jiggling baby William against her chest. She looked tired and puffy, still heavy from the pregnancy and her brown hair was dull and limp. A large chocolate-coloured pram, lined with pale blue fabric, sat empty beside her. Mum told me that William's pram had cost more than the car she and Dad had owned when Shandra was born. William looked awkward in Paula's arms. He wasn't crying, just making an uncomfortable whining sound.

‘Here, let me take him,' Dad said.

‘It's all right,' Paula said, gripping the baby closer. ‘He'll settle in a minute.'

‘Are you ready to order?' the waiter asked.

Dad rubbed his hands together, as if he were an evil cartoon genius (instead of a boring, crappy dad). ‘I'll have the crayfish please,' he announced.

‘Do you have anything low fat?' Shandra asked.

The waiter read the menu over Shandra's shoulder. ‘The soup's quite light,' he said. ‘And the chef's salad. The grilled trevally is delicious, though it comes with a side of chips.'

‘I'll have the soup please,' said Shandra.

‘So will I,' said Paula. She sighed and William squirmed again.

The waiter turned to me.

‘I'll have fish and chips,' I said.

‘Grilled or fried?'

I kept my eyes on Shandra, daring her to say something. ‘
Fried
, please. With – um – what's aioli?'

‘It's a garlic, egg and olive oil sauce – like a mayonnaise.'

‘Yep, I'll have the aioli. And I'll have a cola as well.'

‘Diet or—' ‘Regular please.'

Shandra glared. I smiled sweetly back. Paula kept jiggling poor William and Dad beamed around the table. ‘Well, isn't this nice?' he asked. And then we lapsed back into awkward silence, except for William's mewling.

Paula clung to William throughout the meal.

‘Come on, love,' Dad said. ‘I'll take him. You need to eat.'

When Paula finally relented and passed him over, William began to wail. They both fussed over him, arguing about how he wanted to be held and worrying about whether he was refluxy or coming down with something or overstimulated by the restaurant's ceiling fans. Shandra and I ate our meals in silence, glancing at each other occasionally. We may as well not have been there.

I knew Shandra wanted to talk to Dad, which was hopeless with William around. So when my stomach was groaningly full of fried things, I pushed my plate away. ‘I'll take him while you two eat,' I said, holding my arms out.

‘No,' said Paula, clutching at William as I reached for him. ‘He's not comfortable with strangers.'