Listed: Volume IV (11 page)

“Nothing,”
she tried again. She was still struggling to get away from him, but he wouldn’t
release her. He managed to turn her over so she was facing him.

Even
in the dark room, he could see her face twisting helplessly with an emotion she
was trying to suppress.

He
pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, almost desperately. She was
small and shaking helplessly. She felt broken, and he just couldn’t fix her.

He
let her cry, fighting against the ache in his throat, but eventually he
couldn’t stand it anymore. “Emily, please. You have to tell me what’s wrong.”

“I
try…” She eased away from him and peered at his face with dazed eyes and a wet
face. After a couple of choked sobs, she started again. “I try not to feel
sorry for myself.”

He
made a guttural sound of objection. “Of course you don’t feel sorry for
yourself. I’ve never seen anyone braver than you.”

“But…but…camping
was so good. I loved it. I loved being with you. And…”

Paul
understood. He felt it too. It was horrible, just horrible, to come back,
knowing what was waiting for them. “I know. Me too.”

She
sniffed and shook some more, burying her face against his bare chest. Then she
pulled back enough to say in a weak voice, “I try to be brave and face reality
without flinching, but I just don’t want to die.”

Suddenly,
he realized how he might be able to help her. If not permanently, then at least
for right now. “Maybe you don’t have to.” He was startled by the strained
emotion in his voice, but there was no way he could hold it back. “Emily, you
don’t have to just give up.”

She
stiffened. “What? Paul, I don’t understand…”

“You
told me you didn’t want to try out treatments, but maybe we can really look for
one. We don’t know what’s out there. Maybe there’s something that can save you.
We can try.”

She
just stared at him in silence for a long time. Then finally, “But there
is
no treatment.”

“Maybe
there can be. I have investigators looking into my dad’s research facility. I
really think he has some sort of biological weapons there, and that might be
the source of the virus. They might be able to find something. We might not be
without hope.”

Again,
she just stared mutely, her eyes wide in the dark.

“Emily,
we don’t have to give into this. Maybe there’s some way we can fight it.”

“But…”

He
didn’t quite know why she looked so baffled and overwhelmed, but at least she
wasn’t angry. “We can try,” he concluded softly, thickly.

“You’ve
been having them search for…to find a cure for me?”

Afraid
she was going resent his doing it behind her back, he replied hurriedly, “Just
to see…I assumed you’d want a cure if they found one. But obviously using it
would be your choice. I just wanted to see. I thought it was worth a chance.
Don’t you think so?”

“You
were looking for a cure for me?” She actually sounded surprised.

Paul
strangled on his indignation. “Of course, I was looking for a cure! Do you
think I
want
you to die?”

“No.”
She rubbed her face, wiping off the remaining tears. “I just thought…I didn’t
think…”

He
took her face between both of his hands. “I want you to live. I’ll do anything
I can to make that happen.”

She
swallowed visibly. Then whispered, “Thank you.”

A
clench in Paul’s chest released slightly. He swallowed too. “So…so you’ll be
willing to try a treatment if we come up with a possibility.”

She
nodded. “As long as I don’t end up spending the last weeks of my life sick in
bed because of experimental treatments, I’ll try.”

He
groaned in relief and pulled her against him. “We’ll go talk to them on
Wednesday and see what they’ve found. They're supposed to have a progress
report by then.”

“Okay.”
She shifted in his arms until she’d adjusted into a more comfortable position.
She was holding him as tightly as he was her. “I never thought there could be a
cure. I just assumed…”

“We
don’t know,” Paul said, “We just don’t know. So we might as well try.”

He
felt better now, like there was more hope now that Emily had agreed to hope
with him.

She
repeated, “We might as well try.”

*
* *

“It’s not like we’re going
to unlock a cabinet in your dad’s lab and find some serum in a test tube
labeled ‘Cure for Mystery Virus’.”

Paul
tightened his fist on his armrest and tried to keep his expression impassive.

By
all recommendations, Jack Martin headed up one of the best private
investigation firms in the city. He’d been professional in all of his dealings,
and the report on all his team had done in the last week was certainly
impressive.

But
Paul didn’t like Martin at all. His hair was a mess, he needed to shave, and
his perpetually laidback attitude about everything drove Paul crazy.

This
was dead serious to Paul, so Martin should be taking it seriously too.

“I
never suggested you’d find a magic serum,” Paul replied, an edge to his voice.

Martin
appeared completely oblivious to the edge. “I know this isn’t what you want to
hear, but this is what we’ve got.” His brown eyes turned from Paul to Emily,
who was seated beside him. Martin’s expression softened imperceptibly. “Look,
this whole thing is awful, and I wish I could pull a miracle out of a hat for
you. But all we know is what we know. We’ve gotten into the facility and can
confirm your father was definitely involved in research into biological
weapons. I’ve found a couple of experts to help us figure out the data we’ve retrieved.
It’s not easy, though. There’s a ton of it, and it’s high-level science stuff.
Even my smart folks can’t make heads or tails of it.”

Paul
had known this investigation would be complicated, but he didn’t like the sound
of this at all. Interpreting scientific research results took a lot of time,
particularly when you didn’t have all the background.

“After
we do that, we still have to figure out if the source of this virus was your
father’s lab. Then we have to figure out how to treat it.” Martin leaned back
in his chair. “We’re all hands on deck in this, but I don’t want you to have unrealistic
expectations about what we’re going to uncover and how long it’s going to take.”

Paul
nodded, knowing the other man was right and trying not to resent him for it. He
glanced over at Emily. She’d been quiet during this conversation, but she didn’t
look disappointed. She mostly looked resigned.

She’d
never been as hopeful about this appointment as Paul had.

She
reached over and took his hand, as if she sensed he needed her support.

“I
have a suggestion,” Martin added. When they both looked at him inquiringly, he
continued, “There is one person who knows what the research facility has been
doing and whether there’s anything like a cure for the virus there.”

Paul
stiffened, and Emily’s hand tightened around his.

“You
could ask your dad.”

Paul
cleared his throat. “He wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“Maybe
not. But he’s already been convicted. He has no play here. Unless you think he’s
such a monster that he’d let your wife die just for fun, I don’t know why he’d
hold onto the information at this point.”

“He
is a monster.” Paul wasn’t certain about very much in life—not anymore—but he
was certain of that.

“Paul,”
Emily murmured, “I’m still not sure he would have given me this virus on
purpose. Maybe its source was the research facility, but he didn’t contaminate
me and my aunt intentionally.”

Martin
nodded. “If that’s the case, he might have even more reason to tell you what we
need to know.”

“I
know that makes sense to you, but you don’t know him.” Paul turned to look at
Emily. “You don’t know him either. Not like I do. I can’t go and ask him
something like this. It would be exactly what he wants. He wants to get me back
under this thumb. I’d be playing right into his hand.”

Emily’s
face looked pained, but he could tell she was pained for him. It made him
uncomfortable and was comforting at the same time.

 “You
have to believe me on this. If he did this to you, he’s never going to admit
it. And if he didn’t do it, he has no information to share. If I thought there
was a possibility of it working, I’d ask him in a heartbeat. But I can’t ask
him for something when I know he won’t give it to me. It’s exactly what he
wants.”

Emily
squeezed his hand again. “Yeah. I understand. We’ll find another way.” She
glanced over at Martin for confirmation.

He
nodded. “Yep. We’ll find another way. We’re on it.”

Paul
wondered what it would be like to be so easily confident.

He
used to think he was like that himself.

Not
so many months ago, really, but it might as well have been a lifetime.

*
* *

After they left the
office, they went out to lunch at a quiet French bistro. The food was good, but
their conversation was scattered, as both of them tried not to dwell on the
faint hope of Martin’s team coming up with something from the data they’d retrieved.

Emily
asked how he’d found Martin’s name to begin with. Then she asked what volcano
he thought she should climb.

Paul
didn’t even want to think about the remaining items on her list. It seemed to
imply she was going to die, and he refused to let himself believe that
possibility. It wasn’t fair to not keep his word and help her get through her
list, though, so he suggested they go to Hawaii, which wouldn’t be a hard trip and
which had many impressive volcanoes that weren’t too difficult to climb.

Emily
seemed pleased with this idea, and then she fell into a meditative silence.

When
they got up to leave, she said she needed to use the restroom, so Paul waited
outside the ladies room until she came out.

He
straightened up in concern when she emerged. She looked paler than she had
earlier, and her eyes looked a little pained. Her hair was damp around the
hairline, as if she’d thrown water on her face.

“Paul,”
she began, walking over to him slowly.

“Are
you okay?”

“Do
I have a fever?” When she reached him, she raised her hands to grip his shirt, like
she felt unsteady on her feet.

He
reached over to feel her forehead, and his heart sank as he sensed how hot her
skin was. “I think you do.”

“Damn.
Not so soon.”

“Let
me get you home,” he said, supporting her with one arm and guiding her down the
hall and out of the restaurant. Her body was swelteringly hot against him, and
he tried to brace himself for at least two agonizing days of watching her
suffer.

The
restaurant host turned to give him a friendly farewell as they approached, but
his face transformed with worry when his eyes took in Emily’s drooping figure.

“Is
everything all right, Mr. Marino?” he asked in concern.

“Can
you call my car, as quickly as possible?” Paul asked, relieved that he hadn’t
driven himself, so they wouldn’t have to wait for a valet to get the car from a
garage.

The
host wasted no time in doing this. In the minute or two it took for the driver
to pull the car to the curb in front of the restaurant, Emily seemed to
completely wilt. He’d never seen one of her fevers come on her so quickly. She
leaned her weight fully against his chest, clutching at him desperately,
getting hotter and hotter as the moments passed.

Then
her knees just buckled, and she would have collapsed to the floor had his arms
not been around her. Instinctively, Paul adjusted his hold on her body and
swung her up in his arms.

“Paul,
no,” she mumbled weakly, hiding her face in his shoulder. “I can walk.”

“No,
I don’t think you can.” He ached—all over—as he cradled her against him and
carried her out to the sidewalk, where the car was pulling up.

She
was small but not a waif, and she felt real and substantial in arms—hot and
weak and shaking and sick and
his
.

He
refused his anxious driver’s attempt to take Emily from his arms and instead
carefully maneuvered her into the backseat himself. She fell to her side,
unable to sit up, and curled herself up into a ball.

Paul
swallowed hard, fighting growing panic at seeing how quickly she’d declined in
this bout of fever. He gave curt instructions to his driver and accepted with
thanks the cold, wet washcloth and bottles of cold water the restaurant host
had hurriedly gotten for them. Then Paul got into the car quickly, climbing
over Emily so he could sit on the opposite side of the seat beside her.

As
the driver took them home, he wiped her feverish face and helped her lift her
head from his lap to take an occasional sip of water. He also called Amy, who
said she’d be over to the apartment in less than an hour.