Lingerie For Felons (37 page)

I saw her standing on its freezing deck, face to face with
El Capitan
. She was bundled up in a grey overcoat and, as she stood there, she seemed tiny and somehow otherworldly. It was impossible to know — or even guess — what they were talking about, but just before she turned to leave, I saw her put her hand up to the side of his face and touch his sideburn. Lightly. He reached up and captured her fingers in his hand and brought them to his lips. So briefly. It looked like goodbye in mime. Like a serious goodbye. A forever goodbye. Worthy of Alyssa St James. And it looked really freaking sad.

As I caught the stolen moment, I again had a strong sense of how we never really know people. Not all of the bits of them. We just see different facets at different times. And maybe we only get to see some facets of ourselves until certain things happen to us, too. I guess Emmy knew a side of
El Capitan
that we hadn't seen. And maybe talking with him, getting to know him, had revealed a part of herself she hadn't known was there either.

But while they were saying goodbye, genteel-style, I was face-to-face with Wayne, and neither of us were joining in the jumping around.

We were very, very still. I cut to the chase.

‘Are you pissed at me?' I didn't know what to expect.

He regarded me quizzically, then burst out laughing. ‘You are some piece of work, Rocket,' he finally spat out through these great, big belly laughs. ‘Of course I'm pissed at you. I'm standing here trying to decide whether to strangle you, or hug you. I'm so unbelievably relieved that you're okay, and so I can't work out why I want to throw you overboard at the same time.'

God, why were we always so honest with each other? Couldn't he just say ‘no'?

‘Look, Wayne,' I started, ‘I'm sorry.'

I grabbed his hand, and its solid warmth transported me to the night we had together, just before I left. I imagined him when he had found out I'd gone. Again. My face burned and my hands shook. I visualized Eve, and how close I had come to getting hurt, and leaving her without a Mommy.

I could hear the tremulous shame in my voice. ‘I shouldn't have done this. I've caused everyone so much trouble. You all must have been so worried, and all the trouble you had to go to…' Even as I said it, I felt the tears start to come, hot and stinging at the back of my eyes.

Wayne just looked at me like I was an alien. You know, from Mars, not Puerto Rico. ‘Don't be stupid, Rocket,' he said. ‘I'm not mad at you for coming.'

I looked at him, at those crinkly eyes of his. He reached up and held my shoulders, and shook me, just a little. ‘I'm mad at you for pissing off on me after our night together. For not telling me what was going on, what you were going to do. I thought… I thought you were gone again. I thought that was the end of it and I wouldn't see you for another bloody five years. This,' he gestured at the ocean, encompassing the rescue boat, the whaling boat and the whole wide expanse of freezing sea with one sweep of his big, hairy arm, ‘this was exactly the right thing for you to do. Of course it was. If it felt right, if it
moved
you, that's what you do. What you always do. That's what you have to do.'

I watched his lips but couldn't make my brain understand what he was saying. Really?

‘But…' I stammered. ‘But I told you I'd cleaned up my act, remember? And I could tell you were impressed. No more jail time?'

‘Look, love,' he went on. ‘Obviously I don't want to see you get arrested, but I'm not trying to change you.' He smiled this wicked smile. ‘As long as they have conjugal visits in prison…'

At this, Dick piped up from behind us. I hadn't noticed anyone except Wayne after the initial hugs and kisses, but now I saw them – Luke, Dick, Esteban, and Tommy — gathered in a little semi-circle around us. Listening to every word.

Dick had obviously decided he needed to intervene.

‘Ah,' he stammered.

Even from that first syllable, I could tell Dick had a crush on Wayne. Already. There goes another one. This man really is some piece of work. I've never met anyone who doesn't fall under his spell almost immediately.

What chance did I ever stand?

‘Technically, Wayne,' Dick went on, ‘conjugal rights only apply if you're married.'

‘Excellent idea!' Wayne pulled something from his pocket with a flourish, and then, before my poor, overworked brain could catch up, he was down on one knee on the cold, slippery deck, holding my hand and presenting a small, red box with his other hand. It was open, and nestled inside was a perfect pink teardrop affixed on a band of white gold. Even before my brain could compute that he was asking me to marry him, my ethics were objecting. Wayne could read the problem on my face.

‘Now don't start, Rocket,' he admonished me. ‘Yes, it's a diamond. But it's an argyle diamond, from Perth, Australia. I can guarantee no children were injured, no conflicts supported, in its mining. I went there to get it myself. Fifteen years ago.'

At this, Tommy started crying noisily, and swooned, and Luke and Dick had to catch him. Oh, for God's sake, this kid is going to be a serious limelight-stealer. As if I don't already have enough of those in my life.

‘So you want to get married?' I just wanted to make sure.

‘Yes,' he agreed cheerfully.

‘You wanted to get married fifteen years ago.' I was having trouble connecting it.

‘Uh-huh,' he confirmed.

‘You've been carrying that damn ring around for fifteen years without telling me.'

‘Well,' he thought for a moment. ‘Technically, it's been in a safe box. But yeah.'

My brain was starting to work correctly now. ‘But I don't believe in marriage.'

‘Too bad,' said Wayne. ‘If you love me, you're not going anywhere ‘til you've got this little beauty on your hand. You're not getting away again.' I looked at him like I was a simpleton, and for the first time, I saw a shadow of doubt cross his features. ‘You do love me, don't you? Rocket?'

It wasn't that I was trying to keep him guessing. I was just suddenly incredibly overwhelmed by the moment. Here he was. He had come all this way. For me. He wasn't angry. He loved me. Had always loved me. Wanted to marry me. Even though I did crazy things. He seemed to dig that I did crazy things. I didn't have to apologize. I didn't have to be different. He thought I was good just like this.

Even when I got into trouble and arrested and captured.

And I loved him.

Could it really be that easy?

But just then, another troubling thought crossed my mind, and like an expert ball player, he caught it as it sailed through the air over him, and pitched it right back.

‘I've already asked your Mom and Dad and Eve,' he supplied. ‘They think it's a great idea. Eve wants us to get married before Clark and Martha. To give them some ideas about bridesmaids skirts.'

‘Dresses,' I corrected him automatically.

But I still wasn't saying what I should say right now.

Why the hell not?

Everyone was looking at me expectantly. When the silence seemed to be stretching forever, Esteban took decisive action. He turned me to him, and I could see tears in his eyes. Huh, Latin men. But he looked at me with those beautiful, expressive, puppy-dog eyes of his, and he knew what to say.

‘Beautiful girl. Thees man 'as sailed the seas for you. 'E loves you. As 'e should. Search your 'art, and tell heem what you want. I can see it een your eyes. Some moments are made for honesty.'

He was right.

‘Of course I love you,' I almost yelled at Wayne. ‘I just can't believe you love me. Now. Still. I can't believe you came all this way for me…' Wayne reached for me and I grabbed his hands. ‘Yes!' I yelled. ‘Yes of course of course of course.'

Wayne cupped my face and kissed me then, in front of everyone. Those big hard-soft lips pressed into mine like he was daring them to disappear. Then I really started crying. About the same time that I flung myself at his broad, strong chest and buried my face in the clean, sweet-smelling cotton of his very authentic looking shipping shirt. He did his ‘shhh, shhh' thing and I felt his big, hairy hands on the back of my neck. I felt like stretching myself out like a cat on the deck so he could stroke all of me. But it didn't seem appropriate right then.

Especially because Emmy chose that moment to come striding back on board, with fire in her eyes.

‘Turn the goddamn camera off,' she bellowed at the terrified looking
CNN
cameraman, standing beside the obligatory blonde journalist, both of whom I then noticed for the first time. They did as they were told. ‘Right, sister,' she went on. ‘Now that you're safe, come over here so I can strangle you.'

Wow, sounded like she and Wayne had been comparing notes.

She was interrupted from her lynching by the sound of popping champagne corks. Esteban had been worded up by Mom and Dad, so he had come prepared. He was passing around French champagne, and when Emmy found out why she somewhat ungraciously decided to let go of her fury with me for the time being.

God knows how Esteban had managed to get two dozen bottles of bubbly through customs and onto the boat. The man really could procure anything. We still didn't quite know what he did for a living, but I had my theories.

‘To Lolly and Wayne', Esteban proposed.

Actually, it sounded more like ‘Yolly', but, far from sounding weird and childish, it just made him sound more like Antonio Banderas.

Everyone raised their glasses in agreement.

‘And to all of us,' he went on. ‘Because…' He smiled toothily at Emmy and I particularly. ‘Everone can make a difference, and…'

We both laughed. ‘Together we can change the world,' we finished in unison for him.

Twenty minutes later, we were on our way.

***

And now here we are. I thank the stars for Esteban's somewhat questionable sources as I down my third champagne. I stand at the helm of the boat, in Wayne's mammoth embrace, and have a Titanic moment where I vaguely consider stretching out my arms and screaming into the frigid wind. Then I think better of it. There's really no excuse for that kind of lame behavior. Even being rescued from imprisonment on the high seas. Even becoming betrothed.

But I do something else. I turn around to face Wayne, put my hands on either side of his beautiful jaw, look him in the eye and say, ‘Hey baby, they're playing our song.'

Because, right at that exact moment, as all of the madness and confusion and questioning of my life settles for the first time ever into perfect peace, it starts:

The low, slow braying of a hundred humpback whales.

We turn, and see them following us, leaping and diving out of the water. Like a perfect, sonorous bridal train. And if I didn't already believe that the universe sends you signs, I suddenly do.

And I know that everything will be all right.

Fish Out of Water

Ros Baxter

Dirtwater's straight-talking Deputy Sheriff Rania Aqualina has a lot on her plate: a nicotine addiction that's a serious liability for a mermaid, a soldier-of-fortune ex who's hooked on her Mum's brownies, a gorgeous, naked stranger in her shower, and a mysterious dead blonde with a fish tattoo on Main Street.

Heading home to Aegira for a family wedding, Rania has a sinking feeling that's got nothing to do with hydroporting seven miles under the sea and everything to do with the crazy situation. Now, if she can just steal a corpse, get a crazy Aegiran priest off her case, work out who the hell's trying to kill her, and stop sleeping with the fishes, she might be able to unravel the mysteries. And maybe even save her own ass while she's at it.

Fish Out of Water
is Stephanie Plum meets Splash, and the first book in a trilogy about Aegira, an underwater kingdom based on the historical Norse legend of Aegir.

 

Star Pirate's Justice

S. E. Gilchrist