Lines We Forget (13 page)

“How’s this, then…” he says, playing the intro to a song that feels perfectly in keeping with their spontaneous relaxing evening. He thinks it’s quite a fitting tribute to a girl so grand and her brilliant plan to get them both deliriously high.

As Charlie continues to strum, allowing his voice to warm up to sing the soft opening line to “Is This Love”, she pulls his seat closer. Drags him halfway across the concrete paving slabs with a strength that surprises him. She’s got a wild look in her eyes, which makes him feel hot beneath his shirt and jeans.

He almost forgets the opening line.

“Nice.” She claps along enthusiastically. “Feels like we could be on a beach right now, somewhere vaguely tropical.”

“Suits the mood, I think,” he says between verses, hoping that Anna might follow along and sing too. Something he’d never heard her do before.

“Can’t say I’ve ever really cared for this type of music, but I like the way you play it.”

Charlie nearly drops the guitar, pretends to take offence. “Anna, it’s Bob Marley—how can you
not
like him?”

“Marley Smarley, whatever. All I know is that I love the way you’re playing it.”

“But it’s a classic. He’s a legend. All about love and opening minds,” he replies before she puts her finger to his lips. Her perfume and the pot blend together and it makes his head swim. He wonders if she’ll pull away the guitar to sit on his lap. With fingers hovering over the strings, he crosses two and hopes she might.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s the most famous song in the world,” Anna whispers. “You always play it like you might have written it just for me.”

The lump that catches in his throat isn’t a side effect from smoking too much or the remnants of pot but something else. Charlie looks down at his fingers on the fret board and then at her relaxed smile.

Even though he can’t give her diamonds or fancy gifts, pay for lunch or afford grand gestures, he knows that he can make her happy in other, more meaningful ways. And he’s thankful for the ability to pour his heart and soul into an instrument that’s an extension of him.

Because Anna’s earlier annoyance has hung like a dumbbell round his neck all afternoon. He knows she hates how he hardly has a penny to his name and only a part-time job. It leaves him feeling guilty—wanting to give her the world but almost always falling short.

Now, with her watching and drinking in every word sung, he feels better. And after Charlie’s run through every song he knows that reminds him of her, she flings her arms round his neck and kisses him with such intensity it’s like he’s dreaming. As if the weed they’ve smoked is messing with his head and heart. It feels like it might all explode.

“I’m just going to pop inside quickly,” Anna says after her mouth is satisfied with deep, passionate kisses. “It’s just that I’m really hungry. And cold. And hungry.”

He wraps his hands round her waist and laughs.

“Why am I so hungry all of a sudden?”

“You’ve got a case of the munchies, Anna,” he replies to reassure her. His own appetite grows too and he fondly recalls the sandwich from earlier. Wishing that he could have it all over again. He laughs, mind trailing off into variant weird and wonderful tangents because—
pot.

***

Whilst Anna gets down to business in the kitchen, Charlie watches her lay out rolls of bread and pastry parcels onto an array of trays ready for the oven. He takes in the smell that shortly follows and when she returns she’s got oven mitts on and a floral pinafore.

“These are for you.” She points to a large plate full of rolls and hot twisted parcels. “Veggie, of course.”

“You’re the best,” he says, tucking in with a feverish hunger. He devours most of the spring rolls before they’ve had a chance to cool down.

Anna notices, teases him. “Slow down there, tiger. We’ve still got the rest of the night left, and I’m hungry too you know!”

“Fine…”

As she fills the palm of her small hand with food, she leans back and says quietly, “What was your first time like?”

Charlie nearly chokes on the flaky pastry and spits out tiny crumbs as he thinks about how to reply. If she means what he think she does—a question that hasn’t been asked of him in a long time.

She covers her mouth and casts her eyes down. “Sorry. That’s a really stupid question. It just popped into my head, don’t even ask me why.”

“No, it’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting to be asked that tonight.” He laughs, a little nervously. “Actually, I don’t think anyone has ever asked me to explain.”

Anna shrugs and pops in a roll. Something tells Charlie that even if she’s gone quiet she’s still looking for an answer.

“It was…okay, I guess,” he sighs, aware that he needs to tread carefully round such a potentially delicate subject.

“Mine was rubbish.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, honest to God I thought that I might end up being celibate for the rest of my life. If that’s all I had in store, then I’d have signed up to become a nun.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

“I was sixteen and this boy I was seeing at the time had a party, you know, one of those ‘parents are away in Costa Del Sol’ kind of deals, and I thought it might be a good time to get it over and done with,” she explains frankly, like she’s telling a story about someone else. “So we did it under his parents’ big four poster bed because we were shit scared of actually doing it on top, which is hilarious to think about now.”

Charlie listens and imagines a younger Anna, just as brash and loud, if not more so. There’s no doubt in his mind that his sixteen-year-old self would have been very intimated by her.

“He had no idea what to do, suppose I didn’t either but I’d read enough Jackie Collins by then to know it shouldn’t be so boring or over in three minutes. Though I guess it could have been worse.”

“How?” he jokes.

Anna leans forwards. “One of my old school friend’s friend at the time had sex in our local park in the bushes, whilst we all sat in the little playground. We heard everything. Saw a lot too. Just awful. I think that might be worse.”

“Why are you whispering? It’s not like she can hear you.”

“Shhh, I’m high, all right?” She playfully hits him on the arm and leans back again. “What about you, then?”

“Not half as interesting.”

“Spill the beans, come on!”

Anna’s persistence makes him sweat a little and he tries to recall memories that don’t feel real anymore. “…Well, it was my first year of University.”

“Wow, really? Jesus. You’ve made me sound like a right hussy now.”

“No, course not, there’s no judgment here,” Charlie replies.

“I don’t regret it,” she says, and the way she’s so blasé, casual about it tells him that she definitely doesn’t. “Sorry, carry on. You were saying…”

“Okay, so it was during first year at University. We had mixed halls and my room was next to this girl’s. She was in a few of my lectures and friends with a guy who liked to throw a lot of fresher’s parties in our section. We met, hung out a bit, and then she stayed over one night and well, that’s it. Nothing too scandalous, I’m afraid.”

Anna frowns, puts down a pastry roll, and stares. “That’s it? Was it good or bad or amazing or crap?”

“It was okay. Nothing to write home about.”

“Guess it’s different for guys.”

Charlie shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t know.”

When she wistfully sighs, he asks her what’s she’s thinking about. Anna slowly shrugs. “I dunno, I just kind of pictured you to be this roaming Casanova in your youth. I know that without out a shadow of doubt I’d have been first in line if I’d known you back then. If you’d been in the room next to mine at University, not sure I’d have been able to hold back. You would have most definitely not gone to any lectures!”

“I was never that wild. You would have probably thought I was boring.”

“You’re never boring.”

He laughs, drums his fingers on the side of the small table. “Well, thank you, but honestly those years went by in a blur. Boring. Dull. Not that exciting.”

Anna smiles. “So about that girl, did you guys end up together or was it just a one-time thing?”

“Well, for a start she was much too nice for me. I didn’t really see much of her again or make any effort to, which as you can imagine was super awkward, because we lived next to each for over a year. It was a dickish move on my part, but then again I was young. Had no experience with relationships. She was probably left completely unsatisfied.”

“Nonsense. I’m sure you were great.”

“No comment.”

“Well, I think you’re great.” She smiles whilst fishing out the last joint from the Tupperware. “One more before bed?”

“Sure.” He watches as she lights it and casually takes a hit, like she’s now a pro. It makes him giggle.

She sighs as the smoke escapes her lips. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.”

Anna pauses and scrunches up her mouth before leaning back to quietly whisper. “I’ve not been with anyone like you before. I know it’s not—the done thing or whatever to talk about it, but no one’s ever made me come the way you do. It’s actually enjoyable.
Really enjoyable
. Hands down, no guys ever gone down on me like you did, Charlie. It was…insane.”

“Which time?”

“The first and all the rest, of course.” Anna winks.

He isn’t sure how best to reply, still half laughing at her outburst and still half in shock to hear it. Thus far he’s been unaware of her feelings and thoughts about their sex life, something he hopes she’s been enjoying but hadn’t been one hundred percent sure of.

“Glad you enjoyed it. I enjoy it too, of course. More than enjoy, actually.”

“It’s just different with you and us. I used to hate all the insecurities and all the disappointment—lights off, not coming, feeling like being good at sex was only meant for people in the movies. Now it’s the opposite,” Anna says and he believes every word. “Just thought you might like to know that I really do love being with you, like that.”

“I do, and of course so do I. I think you underestimate just how crazy you drive me. In the best way possible.”

She begins to laugh, and with tears in her eyes she says slowly, “Oh God, I’m sorry—what a weird conversation! I think I’m quite high. Actually scratch that, I’m very, very high. And it feels god damn amazing. But I also feel a bit wobbly.”

“That’s what usually happens.” He smiles. Experience lends him the knowledge of how to deal with it and so he takes her delicate, cold hand to gently walk her back into the house. Charlie enjoys the ticklish sensation of her laughter in the crook of his neck until they reach the en suite in her bedroom.

“I said I’m stoned, babe, not that I need the toilet.” She giggles when he turns on the shower, running it warm until the glass panels steam up.

“I know, but trust me. If I’ve learnt anything from my time smoking at Uni it’s that a hot shower works wonders to minimise the effects,” he explains. “That, and brushing your teeth does too. Seriously, try it.”

“Liar. You just want to see me get naked.” Anna’s already taking off her clothes with wild abandon and she wipes away steam to draw a heart, followed by something altogether cruder.

“It works, I swear, and I’m going to wait outside until you’re done, okay?” He doesn’t get far before she’s pulling at the waistband of his jeans, lifting up his shirt until he’s naked too. She steps into the shower and her playful laughter echoes off the tile walls.

“I thought this might mellow you out, but you’re still just as nuts.”

“Jump in!” she shouts, splashing him with water and a squirt of shower gel. “Come on, be wild for once!”

Retrieving his boxer shorts from the cold floor, Charlie shakes his head and blows a kiss as he shuts the door.

Outside, he tidies up to destroy any evidence of crumpled joint butts and to clear up the UNO cards Anna scattered all over the table when he declined to play. In the bedroom he thinks it’s worth getting her pyjamas from under her pillowcase, and when he slides back into the bathroom he notices she’s drawn even ruder doodles into the condensation. Giving her a little more time, he fetches a glass of water from the kitchen and locks all the doors.

He returns to the bathroom to find her making faces in the mirror as she brushes her teeth. Anna spots him behind her and tells him he’s right.

“I do feel much better, actually. Like really content. And nice. No more wobbles.”

“Told you.”

“My hero.” She snorts, spraying toothpaste everywhere, which sets her off into a giggling heap on the cold tiled floor. “Babe…” she says slowly after she’s caught back her breath. “I think it’s time for bed now.”

Climbing in under the covers, Charlie waits for her to settle beside him. He realises shortly after that she’s sans pyjamas as her hand weaves up to his chest.

“Why do you still have clothes on? Get those pants off, mister.” Her hand changes course and dips below his shorts.

He’s torn between what she’s doing and wanting to just hold her in his arms. A euphoric haze takes over his sense, which is mellow and calming. Still, he feels stirring below and the palm of her warm hand moving up and down.