Linda Ford (9 page)

Belle sat hunched forward at the table, already accepting disappointment. Her posture and attitude tore at Red’s heart and for the first time, she allowed herself to acknowledge the gratitude she felt toward Ward’s generosity—not only in offering to carve a doll but also for his hand in rescuing them.

She knelt by Belle. “Ward has offered to carve a little wooden doll for you, and I’ll make some clothes for it. Isn’t that nice?”

Belle lifted her head and stared openmouthed at Red, then at Ward, who stood so close behind Red she could feel him in her pores. An unsettling feeling.

“Really? Truly?”

Red nodded. “It will take a little time, but you will get your doll.”

“And I won’t have to wait until Christmas or something special?”

“Nope. ’Cause you’re special every day of the year and you deserve a special treat.”

Belle threw herself into Red’s arms, tumbling her off balance. She fell against Ward’s legs. He grunted at the impact, then reached down and planted his hands on her shoulders to steady her.

A thousand sensations raced through Red. Joy at her sister’s happiness. And a great longing to know protection such as Ward’s hands provided day after day.

How foolish to dream of impossible things.

She knew her life would never include anything but standing firmly on her own. She eased Belle back and scrambled to her feet. Could not look at Ward for fear he would see the longing she must deny.

She could not face denial and rejection in his eyes. Nor the truth about who and what she was.

* * *

Ward struggled with a string of warring emotions. Knowing Belle feared to ask for something most children took for granted seared his thoughts. Children should not suffer at the hands of adults.

His anger was laced through and through with regret and doubt. How had Hank and Travers fared after he left? And Mother? Had his stepfather ever used his fists on her? To Ward’s knowledge, he hadn’t while Ward was still there. The man’s anger seemed directed entirely at Ward, which is why he left. Only he could never be sure his leaving solved the problem and he wondered if it had been transferred to the others. Would he ever know?

So when Red had gone all prickly at his suggestion to carve a doll for Belle, Ward couldn’t help but point out the truth to her. She was free. But when Belle squealed with joy, and bowled Red off her feet right into Ward’s shins...well, he experienced a sensation he could not put words to. He wanted to do more than save them from Thorton. Wanted more than to keep them safe from despicable men. He stared at the tabletop, saw the remnants of their snack. Lifted his eyes to the wall. Beyond it lay the mountains. They represented what he wanted—only he couldn’t say what it was. Just knew he’d had it when his pa was alive and they were a happy family.

Perhaps that’s what he wanted—his family happy and secure again. Unable to give them what he longed for them to have, he settled on giving it to Red and Belle on a temporary basis. Seemed temporary was all that life offered—temporary happiness, temporary... His jaw tightened as words failed. Seemed love was fleeting at best and a deception at its worst. His insides hardened at the knowledge, and he shifted his attention back to Red and Belle.

Keeping them safe and making them happy would ease his conscience until such time as they found a more suitable arrangement. He vowed to redouble his efforts to contact his family and persuade them to join him.

“Have you had a look around outside?” he asked.

“Only got as far as the fire pit.” Red wouldn’t meet his eyes, which suited him fine. He had no wish for her to see his confusion and he already knew her green-eyed direct stare unsettled his rational thoughts. What was there about her that made him turn into an overanxious schoolboy?

“Come along, then, and I’ll show you around.”

Ward saw stark terror in Belle’s eyes at his suggestion, but before he could assure them he respected their caution, Red spoke.

“No need. We saw the ranch as we rode up yesterday.”

“I wasn’t thinking of showing you the ranch buildings. But beyond the fire pit is lots and lots of room to roam. You can be as alone as you choose.”

He waited as Red and Belle studied each other and knew the moment Belle decided she might like to see the outdoors. Her eyes flared with anticipation.

No doubt Red saw it, too, and sighed.

“Red, I might get a little tired of being shut indoors all the time.” Belle did her best to sound reasonable.

“We aren’t locked up. We can go out back anytime we want.”

“I might like to run.” Belle rounded her eyes in appeal.

Ward watched Red fight an internal battle, then she faced him. “Guess we might like to see what’s out there.”

He chuckled at her begrudging tone. “Then come along.” He stepped outside.

Red and Belle paused at the doorway and peered one way and then the other.

Knowing how cautious they were about confronting others, he assured them everyone was busy elsewhere. A quick glance up the hill showed Linette at the window, but he didn’t say anything. Linette would give the pair space as long as she thought they needed.

Belle clung to Red’s hand, though he suspected it was also the other way around. But they’d soon learn they were safe here.

They skirted the fire pit and he led them to an almost invisible trail through the trees to the edge of the river.

“The water level is low this time of year, but it’s deep and fast in the spring.” To their left were the empty wintering corrals and the noisy pigpen. “We’ll go this way,” he said, turning to the right and following the river. The big house stood on the hill, but they veered away from it and continued to climb. He slowed his steps, allowing Red, still clinging to Belle’s hand, to fall in at his side.

At the top of the hill he stopped. “Have you ever seen a prettier scene?” The ranch buildings were hidden from view. Before them lay rippling hills that crept up the side of the mountain. The mountains filled the horizon, still wearing tiny snowcaps and shining in the sun. Dark pines filled every crevasse.

Belle broke from Red’s grasp and stepped forward. “I guess you can see heaven from here. Maybe Mama and Papa can see us.” Her expression rapt, she lifted her face toward the sky.

Beside him, Red jolted. He guessed she objected to Belle’s observation but knew she wouldn’t say anything to dispel the child’s awe even if they both knew heaven wasn’t in the mountains. He reached out, intending to touch Red’s arm and signal her to let the child enjoy the moment, but when his fingers brushed her arm she gave a startled cry and jerked about to face him, wariness and defiance warring for supremacy in her eyes. She hastily backed away and her heel caught on a rock.

He lurched forward to catch her but it was too late. She went down with a jarring thud and her head whammed to the ground hard enough to do damage.

Chapter Six

R
ed lay flat on her back, struggling to get her lungs to work.

Ward knelt at her side. “Red, are you okay?”

His words were but a distraction as she fought to draw in air. He slipped an arm under her shoulders and eased her to a sitting position. “Take a breath.”

She spared enough energy to send him a look full of annoyance. Did he think she purposely refused to breathe? And then a gasp shuddered in.

“Thank goodness. You had me worried there.”

She leaned forward over her knees, fighting to get enough oxygen into her body.

“Are you okay? You hit your head pretty good.”

“Fine,” she gasped. “Help me up.” She knew she crossed a dangerous line by asking for his aid, but she lacked the strength to pull her body upright unassisted.

He grasped her hand, caught her shoulder and lent his body for support as she struggled to her feet. Swaying with dizziness, she clung to him. He was solid, his touch gentle. She closed her eyes. This might be the closest she’d ever get to heaven.

Heaven. Belle had said something about it. Right. That she wondered if she could see it beyond the mountains. Mama and Papa might be watching.
Oh, dear parents, forgive me for my failure in caring for Belle. For my failure to uphold the standards you set out so clearly for me.
She’d had few options once she’d fallen into Thorton’s clutches.

She tried and failed to keep back a groan.

Ward took it for pain and held her steady. “Maybe you should sit down again.”

But her pain was not physical. It came from deep inside, beyond human touch. Except, against her inner warning, she found something satisfying in leaning on Ward.

It was only her foolish weakness. She eased away and stood on her own. “I’m fine.”

“So you’ve said a number of times.”

“You don’t have to sound so doubtful.”

He favored her with a lopsided smile. “Are you going to expect me to believe you’re fine just because you say so?”

“What a silly question. Of course it’s true.”

His smile grew more crooked. “See, that’s just it. I don’t believe it just ’cause you say so. I see the way both of you get all tense when I step into the room. That’s not okay in my book. You fall and bang your head for the second time in a matter of days and can hardly breathe. That’s not fine so far as I’m concerned.” He shifted his gaze toward the mountains. “You are afraid and hurting. Denying it don’t change it.”

A thousand wishes and regrets roared into her like a storm off the towering mountains, tearing her pretense of being fine up by the roots and leaving her grasping for something to cling to. She fought panic. She frantically sought for some idea to steady her. For a moment she thought she would drown in hopelessness and despair. Then she found the only thing that mattered and her world steadied. Belle. Nothing else had any importance. Only her little sister and doing what was best for her. If not for Belle...

She let her gaze drift as far as the mountains allowed. “How deep into the mountains have you gone?” she asked Ward.

He jerked about as if her sudden change of topic confused him. She felt his steady consideration, allowed herself the briefest glimpse of his blue eyes, then quite determinedly turned back to the mountains.

Slowly he turned and looked the same direction. “I’ve been several days’ horseback ride west. There are some beautiful valleys. But also some treacherous cliffs.”

“Streams of fish? Green pastures?”

“Some.” Curiosity and a degree of caution filled his voice. “It’s wild country. Many a man has gotten lost or been attacked by wild animals.” No doubting the warning in his words.

“Are there really caves?” She saw his expression harden, fill with suspicion. “I heard there were.”

“I expect there are. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.”

“Red, promise me you won’t head back into the high country and hole up in some cave. You’d never survive.”

It irked that he continued to think she was so helpless and needy. “You might be surprised. Besides, what makes you think I’d consider such a thing?” Did he have to look so doubtful? “After all, I have Belle to consider.” She tore from Ward’s fearsome glare to watch Belle running about the area, searching for treasures. No doubt she could gather up rocks and sticks to take back. A poor substitute for real toys. It was the reason she’d agreed to let Ward make a doll. She’d make hundreds of outfits for it.

Her gaze drifted to the vast landscape before them. However, if not for Belle...

“No need to go into the mountains. There’s lots of beautiful spots in the foothills. My ranch isn’t anything like Eden Valley Ranch. It’s small. There’s a natural clearing big enough for a good-sized farmyard. I thought of building the cabin on the top of the hill but figured it might be buffeted by winter winds, so I chose a spot a little ways down.”

As Ward talked about how many cows his ranch could carry because of the grassy hills, Red’s eyes sought the distance, drawn by some force she couldn’t explain. Perhaps it was the thought of disappearing. Or finding solitude. Solace. Peace.
Whither shall I flee from your presence. I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.

They were scripture verses but she had learned to push thoughts of God and any memory of Bible verses from her mind. So why now all of a sudden should those words flood her mind? It was the samplers. The one over the bed made by Ward’s mother and the one Belle remembered their own mother making. But where was God when they so desperately needed Him? Where was He when she’d fallen into Thorton’s clutches and called out for aid? Now it was too late. Her disgrace separated her from God more effectively than the vast valleys and mighty mountains hemmed her in.

Belle was several yards away, running from one thing to another. “Come along,” Red called. “We need to get back. I’m sure Ward has to return to the ranch.”

He sighed. “Why is it I get the feeling you are always trying to rush me away?”

“I can’t imagine why you’d think such a thing.” The man would have to be dull as dirt to not hear her impatience.

He managed a halfhearted chuckle. “Only the fact that you are rather less than hospitable.”

“I guess I don’t need to point out that I have no right to extend or refuse hospitality.” Yes, she and Belle might be safe from the likes of Thorton and his friends, but they still did not have their freedom.

“I don’t mean to run roughshod over your need for privacy, as you well know. Only you’re afraid to admit it.”

“I’m not afraid.” Of anything. Except what he could do to her and Belle if he chose. That and facing people with guilt branded on her life.

Belle joined them, making Ward keep any more of his opinions to himself. Only a lift of his eyebrows communicated how much he didn’t believe her protests.

“Can we come here whenever we want?” Belle asked.

“Anytime at all,” Ward answered.

“Even if you’re not with us?”

Ward sent Red a questioning look as if wondering where this line of questioning was going. Red shrugged slightly, indicating she didn’t know.

“You can certainly explore without me.”

Belle grew motionless. “What if we get lost?”

“I’ll make sure you’re safe.” Red looked about, fixing landmarks in her mind.

“If you always keep in mind the mountains are to the west, you can’t get lost,” Ward said.

Belle rocked back and forth, her worry unabated.

Ward squatted at her side and turned her toward the Rockies. “See that big round nose of a mountain? It’s a landmark. And if you can see it, you know the ranch is straight east of that point.”

Red burned the information into her brain.

Not that she’d really rush into the mountains and hide forever, but it was tempting. No men. No probing stares. No whispers behind white-gloved hands of women who would never consider the circumstances that put Red in the saloon. Or if they knew them, would not accept them as adequate excuse.

A cave in the mountains sounded mighty appealing.

But Belle seemed satisfied with Ward’s answer and turned her attention to the collection she’d gathered up. Just as Red expected—pretty rocks, bits of wood.

“This one looks like it has a face on it.” She showed a rock to Red, then, fighting her fear, she showed it to Ward.

It was true that a child should learn not to fear everyone, but in Belle’s case, a little fear and caution was wise lest people think they could take advantage of her. Red caught Belle’s hand. “Let’s take your things to the cabin.”

The look Ward gave her left no doubt that he recognized her not too subtle attempt to keep Belle a safe distance from him.

She blithely ignored him.

They reached the cabin. Just before she ducked inside, she turned to Ward. “Goodbye and thanks for bringing the things.” She would wait until he left to look at the items Linette had sent, but curiosity made her wish he’d hurry and leave.

He tipped his head back and laughed. “Red, you are something else. Your hints about me leaving are less than subtle.” He held out a hand in protest when she drew herself up to demand an explanation. “Promise you won’t hit me with the shovel.”

Belle poked her head around Red. “She was going to when you first came.”

“I was not.”

Ward chuckled. “I wouldn’t be surprised.” He turned toward the back of the cabin.

“What are you doing?”

He grinned over his shoulder. “Going to chop some firewood.”

“I can do it.”

“I’m sure you can, but you won’t have to.” He paused and slowly turned to face her full-on. “Red, it’s about time you accept that I aim to make sure you’re safe and well taken care of.”

“I’m not your mother or brothers, you know.”

He considered her steadily, his expression going through a range of emotions. His smile flattened from amusement to sadness.

She shouldn’t have mentioned his family, although he made no secret that his guilt over them was the reason he helped her and Belle. And then she detected a flash of anger and she pushed Belle behind her into the cabin and pulled the door closed. She confronted Ward, prepared to deal with whatever avenue his ire took.

But the anger disappeared as quickly as it came, replaced by strong-jawed determination.

“No matter what you say or do, I will not walk away from you and Belle.” He ground about and disappeared around the corner. In a second or two she heard the sound of an ax delivering blows to logs.

A thousand regrets and wishes battered the inside of her head. If only she could be Grace again. But it would never be. No point in wishing for the stars when your feet were mired in pig slop.

Tucking away her sadness, she pasted on a smile and stepped into the cabin. At least she had Belle.

* * *

Ward swung the ax over and over, neatly splitting log after log. Sure, he laughed at Red’s attempts to hurry him on his way, but his amusement was short-lived. Would she ever stop treating him like public enemy number one? After all, he’d gone to a great deal of trouble to help her. Yes, he had ulterior motives and she knew it. She understood he was doing for them what he wished he’d done for his family. Still hoped to do.

He paused and wiped his brow on his sleeve. Would he ever hear from his mother and brothers? He suspected his stepfather waylaid his correspondence, but surely one of them could get the postmaster to slip him a letter or find some way of contacting Ward. He tried to believe there was a good reason for not hearing from them, but deep inside he suspected they’d decided to put him out of their minds. Blaming him for leaving them to manage on their own.

He swung his ax. Again and again. If he could go back in time he would do things differently. Or not. How could anyone be certain of what they would do given another chance?

He had plenty of wood split and stacked most of it in a neat pile inside the shed Eddie had built against the cabin wall. Then he set to work shaving off kindling. Satisfied with the amount he’d created, he filled his arms with wood and headed for the cabin.

The closer he drew to the door, the more he grinned, imagining Red’s protest. What would she say this time to encourage him to hurry up and leave?

He paused before the cabin and knocked, then listened to hurried steps cross the floor. The door rattled and Red pulled it open.

“I thought you’d be gone.”

“Yeah, you hoped so.” But she knew it was him or she wouldn’t have opened the door quite so readily. In fact, she might have greeted a caller with the shovel still resting nearby.

She followed his gaze to her weapon of choice. “Never know when you might need a shovel.” Her voice carried a shrug.

He laughed. “That’s true. I brought wood.”

“Who’d have guessed?”

“Woman, you do have a way with words. A person could practically cut your sarcasm with a knife.” Yet it somehow tickled him to try and guess what would come out of her mouth. “Too bad it doesn’t fill the stomach. Then you and Belle would never go hungry.”

“Who says we ever have?”

Ward dumped the wood in the box beside the stove and turned to Belle. “You ever been hungry, child?”

She looked up from her play at the table, her eyes wide as full moons and nodded.

At the stark look in her eyes, he regretted involving her in this exchange. “Belle, I promise you that as long as I’m taking care of you you’ll never go hungry.”

Her glance slid toward the shelves as if mentally counting the number of meals stored there.

“The shelves will never be bare.”

He turned and encountered Red’s hard stare. But beneath the surface he thought he saw something else. At a loss to think what it might be and feeling very close to the edge of a precipice, he prepared to leave. “I’ll be back later.”

Belle glanced up from her play. “Bye.”

Red sat across from Belle, studying him.

He waited for her to say not to hurry back or something similar.

Her gaze held steady, driving deep into his thoughts, searching for... He didn’t know. Nor if he could provide it. He could provide meat, firewood, even a doll for Belle, but how could he give Red what she needed when he didn’t know what it was? So he returned her look for look, silently promising his best.