Light Switch (15 page)

“Now
that
is fucking beautiful,” he growled, almost purring as he watched himself move in and out of me.

“You like watching yourself, don’t you?” I asked, somehow managing to articulate it clearly enough to be heard.

Our eyes met.

“I like watching
you
,” he said. “Especially now that
I’m
the one fucking you.” And just for good measure, he fucked me harder. I gripped his shoulders and moaned. His muscles rippled under my fingers with every deep, powerful thrust

“You know I’ve watched you,” he said, panting. “You know, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I whimpered.

“And it turns you on, doesn’t it?” He thrust a little harder. “That’s why you leave the window shade open now, isn’t it?”

The way he moved inside me reduced me to another wordless moan, but I managed a nod. He slid his hands under my back and came down to kiss me. Thrusting only from the hips now, his body pressed against my clit as his cock hit my G-spot again and again.

“Oh God, baby,” he breathed, gripping my shoulders and knocking the air out of my lungs with every thrust. “Every time I’ve watched you come…” He shivered. “…I’ve wanted to be the one
making
you come.”

I clawed his back, my own spine arching off the bed as his cock and his confession drove me right into the stratosphere.

“This is the way I’ve wanted to see you all along.” He pushed himself back up on his arms. “Just like this,
just
like this, and…” He looked down, watching his cock moving in and out of my pussy. “Oh God, oh God, just. Like.
That
.” With one last, hard thrust, he threw his head back, and came.

Then he collapsed over me, and we held each other in breathless silence. After a while, he lifted himself off me again.

“I wasn’t kidding,” he whispered, “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long, long time.”

“You’re not the only one.”

He smiled and kissed me. “I hope I didn’t disappoint.”

“Not in the least.”

“Good.” He dropped a quick kiss on my forehead, then got up to get rid of the condom. Our bodies were much too hot to get under the covers, so we lay on our sides on top of the rumpled comforter.

I brushed a drop of sweat off his temple. “So you
have
been watching me.”

His cheeks colored and he avoided my eyes. “I figured you knew, I just, you know, felt kind of weird about it.” Scratching the back of his neck, he looked at me again. “I didn’t want to creep you out or anything.”

“If it bothered me, I’d have closed the shade.”

“I know. But…” He trailed off for a moment. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.” I kissed him lightly. “How long? I mean, before you knew I saw you?”

“I’d caught a glimpse of you a few times before the night you saw me, but I never watched you. Not until you left the shade open. I assumed that meant you didn’t mind.”

I smiled. “You assumed right.”

“I’ve always been a voyeur by nature, but never like that. I’m not the guy who’d go creeping around someone’s windows late at night. But, I do like to watch, and that first night I saw you…” He trailed off, shaking his head. “Jesus, Kris, I just couldn’t take my eyes off you.”

My cheeks burned now. I avoided his eyes for a second, then met them again. “I have to be perfectly honest. The whole thing, you watching me, was part of why Alec and I split.”

His eyes widened. “What? He knew?”

“No, no, he never knew.” I chewed the inside of my cheek. “It was just the fact…” I sighed.

He ran the pad of his thumb across my cheekbone. “What?”

I swallowed. “You were looking at me. And…” I hesitated. “This is going to sound really stupid.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“Okay. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” I laughed in spite of myself. “I liked it, when you watched me. Mostly because I’d forgotten what it was like to have someone look at me like that.”

Matt’s eyes widened. “He didn’t?”

“Not for a long time, no.”

He caressed my face. “Have I ever told you what an idiot Alec is? Because he’s an even bigger one than I thought.”

I smiled half-heartedly. “He’s out of the picture now, so…” I trailed off and shrugged.

Matt ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me. “Well, his loss is my gain, isn’t it?” After one more kiss, he sank back onto the pillow. He fell quiet for a moment, and when he looked at me again, some of his earlier shyness crept into the creases between his eyebrows. “So, where exactly do we go from here?”

I pursed my lips and shook my head. “I have no idea.” I hesitated. “Honestly, I’m not ready for another relationship. I can do this, I just…” I paused, shaking my head. “It’s so soon after Alec, and there’s also Scott—”

“I know,” he whispered, touching the underside of my jaw with the backs of his fingers. “I’m not asking for anything more than this.”

“So what is ‘this’?” I asked. “I mean…” I exhaled hard. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“I guess we start here and see where we end up.” He smiled, if shyly. “Because I rather like where we’re starting.”

“Me too.”

“And besides,” he said, “I’m going to be out of town for that trade show next week. So at least this way…” He trailed a finger up the center of my back. “…I know you’re in good hands while I’m gone.”

“True.” I leaned in to kiss him. “But I’m in good hands right now, too.”

His hand drifted into my hair and, just before our lips met, he whispered, “You’re damn right you are.”

I could do this.

Hot sex with Matt in between hot sex with Scott?

Oh yes, I could do this.

I hoped.

Instead of spending the evening in the bedroom or dungeon, Scott surprised me by suggesting we go out for dinner on Saturday night. Not just a casual dinner like we’d done a million times before, but the kind of place that necessitated a skirt for me and a tie for him.

Whatever type of restaurant it was, one thing was for sure: it wasn’t somewhere I could beg him to make me come. And that would have been extra frustrating, I thought with a pang of guilt, had Matt not given me so many orgasms last night.

Conversation was sparse over dinner. Our friendly banter was absent, as was our shameless flirtation, and it wasn’t any fault of his. If anything, it was a result of my conscience, which kept reminding me that I’d disobeyed him. Repeatedly. I’d been too caught up in the moment to worry about it at the time, but every time I met Scott’s eyes, the guilt burned a little hotter.

He folded his arms on the table behind his empty plate. “You’re awfully quiet tonight. It doesn’t bother you to be seen in public with me, does it?”

I laughed. “I’ve been seen in public with you plenty of times.”

“Yeah, but we’re actually someplace respectable.”

“Hmm, good point. I hadn’t thought of that.”

He eyed me. “Then that isn’t why you’d gone quiet, is it?”

“No. No, it isn’t.” I chewed my lip. When I met his eyes again, his eyebrows were raised, his expression somewhere between inquisitive and alarmed. I sighed. “I have to confess something.”

The scales tipped in favor of ‘alarmed.’ He cleared his throat. “Okay, go ahead.”

“I, um, didn’t quite follow your rule for the last few days.”

“Oh,
really
? Again?” Scott clicked his tongue and shook his head. Though his tone was made of disapproval, he couldn’t hide the relief in his eyes and the way he set his shoulders. Whatever he’d expected me to say, this confession wasn’t nearly as serious. Scolding though he might have been, he looked like he’d dodged a bullet. “Kristen, what
ever
am I going to do with you?”

I laughed, my face burning. “Well, I tried this time, I really did. But I…” I dropped my gaze for a moment, certain my face was redder than the rose in the vase between us. “Let’s just say I didn’t act alone.”

He chuckled and shrugged. “I guess I can’t hold it against you, then. I didn’t exactly take into consideration you might have an accomplice.”

“You don’t mind, though?” I chewed my lip. “I mean, I guess this might have been something to clear up before we got started, but, since you have your other subs, I assume it’s not against the rules for me to see other people?”

“Of course not.” He put his hand over mine on the table. “You’re right, we should have established that up front. I assumed it was clear.”

“So did I,” I said. “It just occurred to me, um, after the fact…”

Scott grinned. “Neighbor?”

I blinked. “How did you know?”

“Come on, now,” he said. “Give me a little credit. He’s been watching us fuck, and a blind man could see the chemistry between the two of you. To be honest, I’m surprised it took this long.”

“Really?”

“Hell, yeah. And I’m glad you’ve got something going with him now.”

I cocked my head. “What do you mean?”

He ran the tip of his thumb along the inside of my wrist and grinned. “Krissy, you’ve just spent four years enduring a degree of sexual frustration that would have driven me batshit. With all the sexual karma you’re cashing in right now? I say, the more the merrier.”

The waiter suddenly materialized, and judging by the wide-eyed look he gave Scott, he’d caught at least part of the conversation. My cheeks burned a little, but Scott didn’t appear fazed in the slightest. Typical Scott.

The waiter cleared his throat. “Could I, um, interest you in anything off the dessert menu?”

“Not for me, thanks,” I said.

“And for you, sir?”

Scott shook his head. “No, but I would like a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, please.”

“Cabernet Sauvignon,” the waiter said with a nod. Then he made a quick escape. I could only imagine what was going through his mind. High-brow or not, I had no doubt plenty of odd conversations happened in this place, but ours had evidently caught him off guard.

“Anyway,” Scott said with a dismissive gesture in our waiter’s direction. “So I suppose I don’t have to ask if your neighbor knows about what’s going on with us?”

“Yeah, he knows,” I laughed.

“Doesn’t weird him out?”

I shrugged. “Evidently not. I didn’t get a chance to ask in between all the orgasms.”

Scott’s eyebrows jumped. “He gave you a few, I take it?”

“More than a few.”

He grinned. “Oh, well
done
, that man.” The grin faded to a more serious expression. With seriousness came discretion, apparently, and when he spoke again, he kept his voice down, almost whispering. “And speaking of what’s going on with us, how are
you
doing with, well, with what we’re doing?”

“It’s… new.”

“But are you still comfortable with it? Still enjoying it?”

“Scott Moore, don’t ask stupid questions.” I sipped my drink and rolled my eyes. “If I wasn’t enjoying it, I’d have told you by now.”

“So I’m not frustrating you to the point you want to claw my eyes out?”

“I didn’t say that.”

He smiled. “Okay, so you’re still comfortable with all of this, then. Anything new you want to try?”

“I’m still getting the hang of everything you’ve thrown at me,” I said. “Haven’t come up with anything to add.”

“Have you thought about switching?”

I tapped my fingers on the side of my glass. “Yeah, a little.”

“And?”

“I like being a sub, but I’m curious about being a Domme, too.”

He laughed. “I
knew
you were a switch.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes again. “You were right, as always.”

“You’re learning.” He winked.

“Okay, so how do I go about finding a sub?”

“Well, you can look online,” he said. “There are a lot of sites that cater to this lifestyle. I’d be happy to help if you wanted to try contacting a few.” He shrugged. “Or we can go to a BDSM club.”

“Wait, they have
clubs
?”

“Indeed they do.”

“Do I even want to know?”

He winked. “Probably.”

“Do tell.”

“Oh, where to start…” He took a breath. “This place actually started out years ago as a swinger club. A lot of the swingers that went to that particular club were into kink, and it just kind of evolved into a BDSM club.”

I cast a self-conscious glance around the room, certain the other restaurant patrons would hear even though he was practically whispering. Turning back toward him, I said as quietly as I could, “So everyone there now is into kink?”

“Mostly, yes. Some are still just swingers that are into more vanilla stuff, or who prefer to watch, but it’s mostly Doms and subs.”

“What exactly do they do at this club?”

He rested his forearms on the table. “Well, it’s basically a place where Doms and subs get together to play. Some people just chit chat, others get involved in some pretty complicated, crazy scenes. I sometimes just watch, sometimes share one of my subs with another Dom, things like that.” He grinned. “If you think my dungeon is crazy, you should see the ones at this place. Saint Andrew’s Crosses, racks, you name it, they have it.”

“Wow.” I shook my head. “Sounds like a completely different world.”

“Compared to the vanilla world?” He laughed. “Oh yeah, you could say that.” Thumbing his chin, he inclined his head a little and looked at me with total seriousness in his eyes. “I was planning to go next Saturday. Do you want to go?”

Nerves twisted my stomach into knots. “I, um…”

“You don’t have to.”

“Actually, I want to,” I said. “Sounds like it could be… interesting.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, you could say that.”

Before I could speak, the waiter appeared again.

He set the glass of red wine in front of Scott. “Cabernet Sauvignon.”

Scott glanced up and smiled. “Thank you.”

Once the waiter had gone, Scott picked up the glass and slowly swirled it. “We’ll talk more about the club between now and Saturday. For now, I’m just glad to hear you’re still okay with this. And still interested in trying new things.”

“What can I say? You’ve piqued my curiosity.”

His eyes narrowed slightly as he grinned. “So I have.”

He sipped his wine. Then, his eyes never leaving mine, he set the glass down. When he unbuttoned the cuff of his left sleeve, my heart fluttered. As he rolled his sleeve to just below his elbow, a prickle of déjà vu inched its through me. I sucked in a breath when he went for his other wrist, my entire body tingling as he unbuttoned and carefully rolled his right sleeve just like he had the left. With both sleeves in place, he reached for his glass again, and I squeezed my thighs together, squirming in my seat as he took another sip.

“Comfortable?” he asked, and just as I knew it would, his voice had that edge to it. That sharpness that marked the change from friend to Dom.

“Yes, Sir.” The two words automatically slipped off my tongue before I snapped my mouth shut.

“Good.”

He was probably smirking. Or looking at me with that familiar icy look. I didn’t know, though, because I kept my eyes down.

Scott Moore, you son of a bitch
. With nothing more than a series of benign, simple motions, he’d changed us. At his whim, he flipped the switch and we became Dom and sub.

Resting his forearms on the table, he leaned toward me and lowered his voice. “Did you think domination ended in the bedroom, Kristen?” He laid his hand on the table between us, palm up, and beckoned. Automatically, I put my hand over his. He closed his fingers around my wrist, his grasp firm but not uncomfortable.

“Answer me,” he said sharply.

“I hadn’t thought about it, Sir,” I whispered.

His hand slid from my wrist to my fingers. Voice low, he said, “Tell me the truth, Kristen. Being around all these people, out in public…” He raised my hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss onto the backs of my fingers. “…knowing you’ve surrendered complete control to me, that even in a place like this, I
am
your Master…” He blew a soft, cool breath onto my kiss-moistened skin. “…it turns you on, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, Sir.” There was no point in denying it. If he hadn’t already known, the goose bumps on my arm would have given me away.

He lowered my hand, but didn’t let it go. Drawing light circles on my wrist with his fingertip, he whispered, “To anyone else in this room, we’re just a couple of lovers. Look around.”

I did. Dozens of people sat in pairs and groups, absorbed in their own conversations or exchanging dreamy gazes, completely oblivious to the power exchange going on a table or two away.

“Yet here we are,” Scott went on, “in the middle of a respectable restaurant, surrounded by respectable people, and not one of them knows what I’ve done to you.” He leaned a little closer and spoke even softer. “They don’t know what I’ve done to you, what I’m doing to you, or what I
will
do to you.”

I pressed my lips together and tried not to visibly shudder.

The waiter appeared. “Can I get you anything else?”

Scott brushed his thumb across the backs of my fingers, pretending to be completely oblivious to my shiver as he turned to the waiter. “Check, please.” As soon as the waiter left, Scott trailed a finger along the inside of my wrist. “Our own dirty little secret, right out in plain sight, and no one knows but us.” His fingertip made a barely-there circle on my skin. “Does that bother you, Kristen? Being my submissive out here like this?”

“No, Sir.” It had caught me off guard, but it certainly didn’t bother me. The only thing bothering me now was this maddening need to get out of my clothes, on my knees, and under his command in every way possible.

More than ever I understood why he didn’t wear leather, why he insisted I submit to him and him alone rather than the image of a Dom. He could flip a switch and make me submit to him anywhere, any time, and no one else would ever know. All he had to do was ring a metaphorical bell, and like one of Pavlov’s dogs, my mouth watered.

I shifted in my seat again. My mouth wasn’t the only thing getting wetter at his command.

“Your check, sir.” The waiter’s voice sounded miles away. Not distant, per se, but irrelevant. He wasn’t Scott, so he wasn’t important.

“Thank you,” Scott said to the irrelevant waiter, his demeanor instantly shifting from Dom to gentleman. He slipped his card into the leather folder and handed it back. When we were alone again—alone in the middle of this crowded room—he lowered his voice and was Sir once again. “I think it’s time we got out of here.”