Letting Go (17 page)

Graham watched me for a minute before speaking, and when he did his voice was soft—the worry in his tone clear. “But you look so depressed sometimes, Grey. You look like you’re
not
dealing or something.”

“I
am
dealing. I’ve dealt with it. Are there days when it’s hard? Yeah, there are, but it was a sad thing that happened. And you have to remember that a lot of the days that you’ve seen me were really bad or hard days. Like at graduation and the two-year anniversary of Ben’s death. Or coming back to Thatch for the first time in a year. Or when I found out how Jagger felt about me, and felt like everyone was spitting on Ben’s memory. Or the times when I got the messages from his account, or pictures of us together. It would be hard for anyone to go through what I did.”

“I just worry about you.”

“I know. So do Mom and Dad, and so does Jagger, but I really am doing fine.” I grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled it to the side. “Did you notice I’m not wearing my necklace?” Graham shook his head and I released my shirt. “It was time to take it off.”

“When did you do that?”

“A few days ago. It’s now in the box with my engagement ring and some other things.”

“I don’t know what to say to something like that,” he admitted softly. “I want to say I’m happy for you, because I know what taking off the necklace had to mean to you. I want to say I’m glad you’re moving on, and moving on with Jagger. But I hate that you’ve had to go through any of this. It kills me knowing how much you’ve hurt over the last couple years.”

I looked up and blinked quickly to stop the tears that were welling up in my eyes, and gave Graham a soft smile. “Now you’re going to make me cry because you’re being all sweet and stuff.”

Graham sat up and clapped his hands. “Okay, no crying. Because I’ll find someone to hit for making you cry, even if it is my fault. New subject? Something not so depressing?”

“Sure.”

“The love of my life is here!” someone shouted from behind me, and I turned to see Knox standing there with his arms open wide, a bag of greasy food hanging from one hand, a case of beer in the other. “Have you finally realized we’re meant to be together?”

I laughed and Graham grumbled, “Not that subject.”

“What, no girl tonight, Knox?”

He winked, the action so much like Deacon’s, and one I’d come to expect from both of them during the times they were pissing off Graham. “Already left her for the night; somehow I knew I needed to be home, and look what I find.”

“That’s it. I’m killing both you and Deacon,” Graham said simply, as if he’d just decided on what shirt to wear for the day rather than murder.

Knox huffed. “You can’t kill me, your sister loves me. She’d hate you if you killed me.” Graham stood up, and Knox raised his arms higher. “Food! I brought food and beer! You can’t kill me, dude.”

Snatching the bag of food, Graham punched him in the stomach and walked calmly back to the couch while Knox stayed bent over, holding himself up against the wall.

With an unapologetic look at his roommate, Graham turned to me and shrugged. “That’ll hold me over until next time.”

Jagger

August 23, 2014

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shrug into one of my shirts as she got off the bed, and followed her every move as she walked to the bathroom.

She barely glanced over at me before she realized I was awake and watching her, and did a double take. “Hey,” she said softly, and turned around to walk over to me, her voice still raspy from sleep. “When did you wake up?”

“When you moved away from me.”

Grey smiled and leaned over to kiss me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you—” She cut off on a laugh when I grabbed the backs of her thighs and pulled her toward me.

“I’m not. I’m just sorry you put clothes back on.” Running my hands up her legs and over the curves of her bare ass, I pressed her down against me and swallowed her moan when she rocked against my erection.

“Then maybe you should change that?” she offered, and sat up so she could look down at me while she slowly eased herself onto me, a soft moan sounding in her chest when she was fully seated.

I’d barely inched the shirt up to her waist when we heard the front door open and shut, and Grey scrambled off me and the bed to look for more clothes to put on.

“Jag?”

“Son of a bitch,” I growled. “Yeah, hold on a sec!” Grabbing the pair of jeans on the floor, I pulled them on and looked back at Grey.

“Charlie has the worst timing!” she hissed as she finished putting on her shorts and ran into the bathroom.

I bit back a smile and leaned over the railing to look at my little sister. “What’s up?”

“Were you seriously still sleeping? It’s almost eleven!”

And Grey and I didn’t go to bed until sometime around four this morning.
“Uh, yeah. We were tired.”

“We—oh. Why do you always leave your door unlocked?”

I raised an eyebrow at her exasperated question. “I didn’t.”

“Actually, you did. It was definitely unlocked, and the key you just gave me doesn’t work.” She held up her key ring. “It wouldn’t even fit in the lock, so I just tried the handle.”

“Yes it does. I checked it before I gave it to you.”

“Obviously not, I tried it this way
and
that way.” She showed me as if she was actually trying to unlock an imaginary door in front of her. Holding her key out before turning it upside down and trying again.

“Really, now? Is that exactly how you did it?” I smiled when her answer was to glare at me. “Fine, I’ll make you another key. Give me a second to find a shirt.” Pushing away from the railing, I walked over to the closet and put on the first shirt I touched, then opened the bathroom door. “You coming with me?” I asked Grey.

“This is so embarrassing!” she whispered harshly. “This is the second time she’s walked in when we were starting to do something.”

I took a step forward and wrapped my arm around her waist then hauled her against my chest. Nipping at the sensitive spot on her neck, I whispered, “Just think of how much worse it would’ve been if she came in a few minutes later and heard you screaming.”

Grey scoffed and pushed against my stomach, but I just laughed and kept her close against me.

“She thinks we were sleeping.” Grey shot me a look and I sucked in air through my teeth as we walked out of the bathroom. “Or at least that’s what she wants to pretend we were doing.”

“Yeah. That sounds more believable,” she whispered, and then called out brightly, “Hey, Charlie!”

Charlie’s eyes widened, and she looked over at me for a second before smiling awkwardly at Grey. “Hi. Good morning . . .” She trailed off, her greeting sounding more like a question, and that’s when it hit me. This was the first time Charlie and Grey were seeing each other since we’d found out about Charlie’s feelings for Ben.

If it hadn’t been for the unwelcome surprise of Charlie showing up at the same moment Grey had settled herself on me, I would’ve remembered this sooner, and I would’ve worried about how Grey would react to seeing Charlie. Whether Grey remembered everything given her embarrassment, she wasn’t showing that anything had ever happened; and it was obvious that Charlie had expected her to be colder toward her.

“How are you?” Grey asked as she walked out of my arms and pulled Charlie in for a hug.

“I’m fine, I just—uh—sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s fine. Do you want anything to drink?”

Charlie watched Grey walk toward the kitchen and looked back at me. “Did you decide not to tell her?” she asked softly so her voice wouldn’t carry.

I shrugged and shook my head. “No, she knows.”

“Babe?”

I looked up at Grey, who was waiting expectantly. “I’m good.”

“Water is fine,” Charlie said without looking at her, then lowered her voice again. “Was she okay with it?”

“I don’t know, she was upset that you’d been acting like you were fine, but she wasn’t mad that you liked him. She just thought it looked bad on her that she was moving on with her life. But she got past that, she’s a lot better now.”

Charlie nodded absentmindedly and turned to look at Grey just as she came back with water for her and Charlie.

“If you want to hang out with your brother today, I can go home or go hang out with Graham,” she offered, but Charlie waved her off.

“No, I’m glad you’re here, and I can’t stay long, I just wanted to come say hi before running back home. Mom’s leaving for somewhere, so I’m gonna watch Keith.”

My eyes narrowed. “Again?”

“Don’t start, Jag,” Charlie pleaded softly.

I bit back the response I wanted to make and asked instead, “Where’s Mom going this time?”

“I’m not sure, but she said she’d be gone for a couple days, so I’m guessing she’ll be home in a week or so.”

My face went blank. “Charlie, we’ve talked about this—”

“And I’ve asked you to stop bothering me about it!” she shot back, cutting me off. “I have nothing else going on right now except for a couple online classes. I’d be watching Keith anyway.”

“He’s not your responsibility.”

“And I wasn’t yours! But you took care of me anyway!”

“Hey, Charlie,” Grey said suddenly, her soft voice enough to stop what was sure to be another argument. “How
is
your mom doing?”

“She’s fine, I guess. I mean she’s the same as she always is, the sky is made of love and all that, so she’s good.”

Grey kept a smile plastered on her face, but I could see the eagerness as she waited for something else—like Charlie’s answer hadn’t been what she’d been looking for. After a few seconds of awkward silence between the three of us, Grey asked, “Was she able to find a job?”

I forced out a quick laugh, and Charlie’s face lit up with a weary smile. “Find a job? Mom? Uh . . . no. Definitely not.”

Grey’s smile faltered, and my eyebrows pinched together. “Wait, why are you asking if she found a job?”

“She said she was trying to get one.”

“Said? When did you talk to her?”

Both girls looked at me in surprise at my harsh tone, and Grey’s head shook back and forth quickly. “I don’t—a week or so ago? Maybe?”

I tried to calm down and sound bored, but I was too afraid that instead of going to my sister—like I’d always feared—my mom had gone to Grey. “Where did you see her?”

“In town. I ran into her and we talked for a few minutes. She told me she was trying to find a job—that’s it!”

“What is wrong with you?” Charlie asked, and by her expression, I knew I still needed to calm down.

“Nothing.”

Her eyebrows rose as she continued to stare at me. “I don’t believe you, but whatever. You’re in a bad mood today anyway.” Finishing the rest of her water, she turned toward the kitchen. “I need to leave, I told Mom I’d be back before eleven.”

“Charlie,” I groaned. “Come on, stay for a little while. I’ll make lunch.”

Grey laughed and Charlie looked terrified. “You’ll . . . make . . . sweet Lord, someone save me.”

“I’ll pick up food. Sound better?”

Charlie’s expression turned teasing, and she nodded once as we walked to the door. “It does, but for Grey’s benefit. Because I really do have to go.”

After hugging Grey, Charlie skipped over to me and threw her arms around my neck.

“If Mom’s leaving, you could always bring Keith over here if you didn’t want to stay there alone.”

“Or you could always just come see us?” she countered, and kissed my cheek.

“All right, I’ll think about it.”

With a little wave, Charlie ran through the rain to her car and got in as quickly as possible. As soon as she drove away, and Grey and I were back in the warehouse with the door shut, Grey turned on me.

“Why did you react that way about me talking to your mom?”

I wanted to tell her, but at the same time I didn’t. We’d just gone over my keeping things from her, but I’d told her then that I would continue to do whatever I had to in order to protect her. And letting her know about Mom would only worry her and make her ask too many questions. If Charlie could stay in the dark on this, then Grey could too. They needed to. “I don’t know what you mean.”

Grey made a face. “Yes you do. You went from fine to freaking out in half a second. Talk to me.”

“I’m sorry if that’s how I came across, but I’m fine.”

She continued to watch me closely with those honey-gold eyes until I ran my hands over her arms and then pulled her into my chest.

“How about we get ready and go out on the lake?”

Grey laughed until she realized I was serious, and then pointed to the door behind her. “It’s pouring outside.”

“Then how about we order in some food, and spend the rest of the day in bed?”

She smiled against my kiss and pushed me back enough to look at me. “You really want to do that after your sister just walked in on us? Kinda killed the mood for me.”

My face fell and I dropped my arms as I took a step away from her. “Thanks for killing it
again
.” Turning away, I walked quickly toward the stairs and up to the loft.

“Where are you going?”

“To get ready,” I called back. “We’re leaving and spending time in public until I can stop thinking about my sister walking in on us.”

I heard her soft laugh from below, and the sound made me feel worse than I already did. I’d wanted to get her mind off my mom, knowing that this wasn’t something she needed to worry about, and knowing she’d continue bringing up the subject until I told her what she wanted to hear. And while I was glad she had dropped it for now, I hated that I’d forced the change in conversation for my benefit.

Instead of protecting her like I’d promised I always would, I felt like I’d tricked her.

Chapter 14

Jagger

August 29, 2014

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LACING
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on either side of Grey, I leaned down and pressed my lips to first her throat, then her jaw and cheek, and finally her mouth. She smiled against the kiss, and the tips of her fingers traced along my jaw before I moved back.

“Morning,” she mumbled sleepily.

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

Her eyes finally opened, and her brow furrowed when she got a good look at me. “Why are you dressed?”

“I’m gonna go pick up something for breakfast. Unless you want me to cook . . .” I trailed off, and laughed at her horrified expression.

“No! Go get something.”

“That’s what I thought.” Kissing her softly once more, I stood up and started walking backward toward the stairs. “I’ll be back soon, I just didn’t want you to wake up while I was gone.”

Her face softened into a dreamy smile, and I had to fight with myself when all I wanted was to crawl back in bed beside her. “Thank you. Be safe and come back to me soon.”

“Always.”

Turning around, I jogged down the steps before I could talk myself into staying and walked outside—my steps immediately halting when I looked up.

“What . . . the . . . fuck.”

I looked quickly around the alley where our cars were parked before jogging to the corner to look down that side of the building. When I didn’t find anything, I walked back to Grey’s car. A low growl built up in my chest when I saw what was on the paper, and my arm automatically reached out to rip off the one closest to me before I stopped myself. Pulling out my phone, I called the police and told them what was going on before looking at my own car.

Covering my car were thousands of pieces of paper, all with pictures of Grey and me together. Across the pictures were the words “whore” or “backstabber.” It was the same on Grey’s car, except the papers had pictures of her and Ben, with the words “What about forever?” The other papers were copies of Ben’s vows. Over. And over.

I wanted to keep Grey out of this, but I knew I couldn’t. Taking pictures of every angle of both cars, I finally walked back inside, standing just at the doorway.

“Grey?”

“What’d you get?” I heard the bed shift a few seconds before she appeared at the railing. “Are you coming inside?” she asked on a laugh that died as soon as she saw my expression. “Jagger?”

“I need you to put some clothes on and come outside, babe. The police are on their way.”

“What?” Her soft voice barely reached me, and I hated the way her face fell.

I swallowed thickly and looked behind me toward the cars before looking back at her. “I’m here for you, Grey, and we’ll find whoever is doing this. I swear to God.”

A pained exhale came from the loft as she shook her head back and forth and took slow steps away. She hadn’t even seen the cars, but she knew what was happening. I hated this for her, and silently vowed to do everything to find this person and make them pay.

The cops showed up before Grey made it outside, and I was in the middle of talking with the officer who’d helped us last time when I noticed his eyes trail to something behind me. Turning around, I saw Grey standing in front of her car with a mix of pain and fear covering her face. I walked over to her and pulled her into my arms as I backed us away from the cars and toward the officer.

“It’ll be okay,” I whispered in her ear. “I’m sorry.”

She just nodded slowly, her eyes never leaving the cars. Not even a minute later, she gasped and gripped at my arm. “Jagger.”

“What?” I looked around quickly, first to her and then around the alley to see if she’d seen someone who shouldn’t be here. My eyes barely glanced at where another two officers were taking the pieces of paper off the cars, then darted quickly back. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I groaned.

The officers started removing the paper faster when they saw what Grey and I had seen, and soon both cars were paper free. Now you could see that someone had painted in white letters on all the windows of both cars. Mine had the words that had been typed over every picture covering my windows. Grey’s were covered with Ben’s vows. I pulled out my phone and took more pictures while the officers took pictures with their cameras, and stared at the writing. It was nondescript. It didn’t look masculine or feminine. Every letter was capitalized, but that was it. Nothing else could be said about it.

We stood out there until the officers were gone, and when I got Grey back inside, she surprised me by looking pissed.

“You need security cameras, or something.”

“What?”

She pointed at the front door. “You need cameras out there so we know if the person comes back, and can maybe figure out who it is. You changed the lock, but they obviously know I’m here with you most of the time. So changing the locks isn’t going to stop them from doing something to the outside or, obviously, our cars.”

“Okay, you’re right. I’ll call someone today and we’ll get some cameras set up as soon as they can come out. I’ll get an alarm too, just in case. It’ll make me feel better if you’re here without me.”

Grey nodded and looked around at the large space. “This needs to stop, Jag,” she mumbled.

“I know.” Pulling her into my arms, I pressed my lips to her forehead, and left them there for a few seconds. “I need to go get the cars washed to get all that shit off them. Do you—”

“I’m coming with you,” she said in a rush, and her body began shaking. “I’m not staying here alone after that.”

“All right, then let’s go. We’ll take one car at a time. If you’re coming with me, I’m keeping you next to me.”

She sighed slowly and tightened her arms around me for a moment. “Thank you.”

Grey

August 29, 2014

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out to my car later that afternoon, and just before I opened the door, I turned and wrapped my arms around him—pressing my face against his chest. It had been a long day with the cars and police, calling a security company to set up an appointment for someone to come out, and sitting around on the floor of the kitchen as we snacked on food and went over everyone we could think of in Thatch who would and could do what this person had been doing to us.

The list hadn’t been long.

And even though I knew I needed to go back to my parents’ house to get ready to go to work, the last thing I wanted to do was leave Jagger at that moment. Part of it was because I was worried about what someone could do, and being away from Jagger would have my mind constantly going in that direction. But it was also because I knew when I went to sleep tonight, it wouldn’t be in his arms.

“You’re going to be fine,” he mumbled against the top of my head. “If anything happens, I’ll be there in a second, okay?”

“I know you will.” I reluctantly unwrapped my arms from his waist and turned to open the driver’s door. Jagger’s voice stopped me from closing it once I’d gotten in.

“Grey?”

“Hmm?”

Jagger stood there looking unsure for a few moments, then he gripped the top of my car and leaned in so his face was inches from mine. “What if you didn’t go to your parents’ tonight?”

“Whoever’s doing this to us already knows where my parents live. They know where I am, they know my car. No matter where I sleep, if they want to do something, they’ll find a way to do it wherever I am.”

“No, uh . . .” He trailed off, and looked away from me again. “I meant what if you come here, and stay here.” Just as I started to tell him that I had been staying there, he cut me off. “You’ve been sleeping here most nights anyway, why don’t you just stay? Grab whatever you need from your parents’ house and come stay here with me.”

I tried unsuccessfully to bite back a smile, and acted like I was considering what he’d asked me. “You know, it only takes a few minutes to get to my parents’, if something happens I’ll be able to hang on for the amount of time it’ll take you to get to me,” I teased, and his green eyes narrowed at my nonchalant tone.

“I don’t want you here just so I can be with you as soon as something happens. I want you here because I don’t like watching you leave. Even if I know I’ll see you again tomorrow, tomorrow’s never soon enough when it comes to you.”

“You really want me here? In your space . . . girly-ing up your warehouse?”

He laughed and rolled his eyes. “If it means you’ll be here, you can do whatever you want with the place. And if you want, I’ll talk to your parents or I’ll be there with you when you tell them.”

Cupping the back of his neck, I pulled him down so I could kiss him. “I think I better talk to my parents alone. I’ll never forget how this conversation went last time, so it’s probably best if you’re not within seeing range of my dad.”

“If that’s what you want, but I need to know that you want to be here. I don’t want you staying here just because it’s what I want or asked—”

“Jagger, stop. I want to be here, trust me. I’ll talk to my parents tomorrow, and regardless of what happens, I’ll see you after that, okay?”

“Okay.” He stepped back, and his lopsided smile quickly took over his face. “Have fun at work tonight, and call me if anything happens.”

“I will.”

“And call me if you change your mind about wanting me there when you talk to them.”

“I will!” I said on a laugh, and pushed on his stomach so he would take another step back. “Now go back inside or I’ll think of a reason to call in to work and tell them I’m not coming in, and it’ll be all your fault.”

He raised one dark brow in an obvious challenge, but stepped away and put his hand on the door. “Come back to me, Grey LaRue. Tomorrow is already too far away.”

“I’m calling in,” I breathed, my heart warming with his words.

Before I could say anything more or try to get out of my car, he shut the door and gave me a wicked smile as he backed up toward the warehouse and walked inside.

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I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table opposite my dad.

“Can I talk to you guys?”

Mom and Dad both looked up at me—Dad’s eyes immediately narrowed, and Mom looked like she was ready to talk about the weather.

“Are you pregnant?” Dad asked suddenly, and I jerked back in my chair.

“What? No!”

“Now, I’ve been telling you to use protection,” Mom chimed in as she walked closer to us from the stove, and Dad’s mouth snapped shut as he turned to look at her.

“What? You’ve been what?” Dad looked back at me, and I watched as his face quickly turned red. “You’ve been—you and—that’s it! I don’t want you going over there anymore; if Jagger wants to see you, he can come here under my supervision.”

“Dad,” I groaned, and Mom clucked her tongue.

“Honey, don’t be absurd. This isn’t the 1800s.” After rolling her eyes at my dad, Mom turned back to me. “Now, Grey, I’ve told you countless times, and I’ve asked if you had protection. You could’ve talked to me and we could have prevented this.”

“Mom, I’m not—”

“Young lady, you are grounded.”

“Dad, I’m not—”

“How could you go and get pregnant?” he demanded.

“You’re pregnant!” Graham roared seconds before the front door slammed shut and he stormed into the kitchen. “Hell no. Where is he?”

“I’m not pregnant!” I yelled over everyone as Mom started trying to calm down Graham, and Dad started lecturing me. “And why are you even here?” I asked, looking up at Graham.

“I’m hungry and have no food in the house,” he said with a shrug as he walked toward the pantry.

“Graham, I was thinking about Melissa Davis. She’s such a lovely—”

“Mom, I’m not here to talk to you about which girls you think I should settle down with. Besides, we have bigger shit to talk about if Grey’s knocked up.”

“Oh my God, for the last time—” I started, but Dad turned his anger on Graham.

“We do not use that language in this house!”

“Since when?” Graham countered.

“Since right now! Too much sin happening here.”

“Please.” Graham snorted and sidestepped Mom when she walked up to him from the opposite side of the kitchen with a piece of paper in her hands. “Mom, I don’t want to know which girls you want me to date.”

“But they’re all so—”

“I’m moving in with Jagger!”

Everyone stopped and looked at me with wide eyes before they erupted again.

“Like hell you are!” Graham shouted, and waved off my mom as she tried to hand him the paper again.

“You are grounded! You are grounded twice over. You aren’t leaving your room until you’re forty.”

“Dad! I almost got married two years ago, you can’t act like this now!”

“But we weren’t going to let you move in with Ben before you got married,” Mom said calmly as she stuffed the piece of paper in Graham’s hand and moved away from him.