Let Me Love You (Australian Sports Star Series Book 2) (11 page)

“Shh.”

Knowing that she had affected the right parts of his body when he groaned, she cupped his face, closed her eyes, and kissed him.

***

When Oliver woke the next morning, he watched Tamara sleeping next to him. It must’ve been one of the first times he’d stayed until morning. Usually he’d left before the sun peeked across the horizon. Yet, having Tamara next to him was unlike anything he’d felt before.

For the first time since the car accident, Oliver experienced a moment of peace inside. He still hurt and wore the guilt about Erin, about the life his mother could’ve had, but she’d been right telling him, it was time to move on.

He couldn’t get enough of Tamara and her soft, beautiful body. When she woke and opened her eyes, she stared right back at him with a smile. His chest tightened. She snuggled against him as their legs intertwined. Not believing how she was able to make him feel this way with a single glance of those soulful eyes, he pulled her closer and buried his face into the crook of her neck.

Sleeping with Tamara had meant so much more than simply sex. For him, it’d been an intimacy he hadn’t been prepared for, as his whole body was now yearning for more.

Yearning to hold her all day.

All his life.

But as soon as the thought had come to his mind, he moved back, needing some distance. The last thought had hit him like a hammer, and he wasn’t at all ready for it.
All his life?
Oliver didn’t do emotions, didn’t believe in the happily-ever-after. Yes, Tamara was special, and he didn’t deny there was something between them. Yet,
all his life
was an awful long time.

“Good morning,” she said.

The awkward morning-after conversation. He’d no idea what to say, his mind was still rolling in emotions he wasn’t able to control. Needing some space, he went for neutral. “How did you sleep?”

Her smile told him everything.

“Breakfast?”

Tamara leaned back and met his gaze. It told him she wasn’t sure where he was going with this. With guarded eyes, she nodded.

“Coffee?” he asked as he got out of the bed.

“Yes, please,” she whispered.

Oliver made his way down to the kitchen and tried to figure out where things were. Inside, he felt like an ass. An ass who’d had the best sex in years, if not ever, and walked off like a frightened chook. Holding on to the bench with both his hands, his head lowered into his chest, he took a couple of deep breaths to control his anger.

“I’m sorry.”

Tamara’s voice caught him by surprise, and he shot around to look at her. When he saw the tears in her beautiful eyes, he stepped closer to take her into his arms.

“What for?”

“For whatever I did to make you keep your distance.”

Barely able to breathe through the crushing pain in his chest, he held her even closer and placed a kiss on her head. He’d fallen in love with her and it scared the hell out of him.

“Please don’t think that, I…I—”

“You’re usually not around the morning after?” she finished for him.

Oliver leaned his forehead against hers. “Yup. I’m not good at this.”

Tamara smiled. “So it seems.” She placed her hands on his chest and gave him a kiss. “Let’s have breakfast in bed.”

She stepped out of his arms and within only a few minutes had everything done. They walked back to bed in silence.

He had a sip of his coffee when she asked, “So why baseball?”

If possible, he loved her even more that moment. She was obviously well aware of the unease he felt inside and tried her best to make him feel comfortable.

“Always liked cricket better than football, but kept playing it because of the others. When we went to America, my dad took me to a baseball game. I signed up for the team at school the next day.”

“Not the most popular game here in Australia.”

He chuckled. “It will be. Give it time. People sometimes need a bit longer to figure out what’s good for them.”

Tamara laughed, and he noticed how he relaxed. He met her gaze. “It’s helped me focus. Football is a great game, but fast. At the time we’d moved to America, I needed help to focus. Baseball did just that.”

Tilting her head, she said, “That sounds very sophisticated.”

God, he loved it when she made him laugh. With a raised eyebrow, he said, “I am a very sophisticated kind of guy.”

She laughed as well. Then there was silence when both of them ate some of their breakfast.

Out of the corner of his eye, he studied her. Even without makeup she looked sexy. Actually, even more attractive. He liked the way she moved her hands or the way her eyes concentrated on every small little detail she did.

“Tell me about Jason,” he suddenly asked.

***

A few months ago, simply the thought of being asked this question would’ve given her a stab of pain. She’d have probably broken down in tears.

But whoever had said that time heals wounds had actually been right. Her wounds were healing. Jason’s image was fading from her mind. She strained to bring back the memory of his smile, his dimples, but she couldn’t see it anymore. And she knew one of the reasons was sitting right beside her.

When Oliver had escaped to the kitchen earlier that morning, Tamara had felt something close to relief, believing it’d been a one-nighter for him. Although, disappointed at the same time, it helped to ease her guilt.

Heat rushed through her again at the thought of what he had done to her last night. There was no doubt he was perfect when it came to knowing how to please.

But then he’d stayed, and her heart had told her it’d been more for him than just one night, which only caused her guilt to explode inside her again. Looking into his eyes after she’d followed him into the kitchen had confirmed her suspicions, he hadn’t done the
conversation after
for a long, long time.

Taking a deep breath, trying hard not to think about tomorrow or the day after, she said, “Most people sneak around the subject of my dead husband a little more.”

Oliver placed his cup on the tray in the middle of the bed and met her gaze. “Want me to sneak around a little?”

She laughed. “I suppose I shouldn’t expect anything else from you.”

Scratching the back of his head, he said, “Cupcake, I hope that’s a compliment.”

With a shrug, she said, “Jason and I met in school. We grew up together, spent almost every day together, and knew the world belonged to us.” She stopped and let out a breath. “The rest is history, I suppose.”

Tamara stood and carried the tray over to a little chest of drawers before returning to bed. Kneeling next to him, she said, “Tell me about Erin.”

His face clouded with sadness and turned grey beneath his tan. Looking past her, he said as he breathed deeply, “She died instantly.”

He sat up straight as he raked his hand through his hair. “I overtook a car, underestimated a corner, and crashed into a tree.”

Placing a hand on his arm, she whispered. “I’m sorry.”

He nodded, but didn’t look at her. “So am I.”

Oliver threw back the duvet and swung his legs over the side of the bed. In only a few steps, he reached his jeans and shoved his legs into them.

Somehow, Tamara had the feeling not only was their conversation was over, but their time together that morning as well. She watched him, thinking hard of something to say.

“Oliver?”

Still not able to meet her gaze, he simply replied, “I’ve got to go. I promised—”

But she didn’t let him finish his sentence. “Please don’t lie, Oliver.”

It didn’t go past her how his whole body sagged. Although her chest ached and her heart was bruised, she knew it was better this way. She’d be gone in a few weeks, and their few hours together would be a wonderful memory.

It took less than five minutes for him to leave. No goodbye and no thank you or an explanation. He simply left. Tamara sat on the bed, holding the duvet up against her chest, trying hard not to cry and doing her best to remind herself again it was better this way.

As soon as she heard the main door shut, Tamara lay back down on the bed and closed her eyes. She tried so hard to imagine Jason holding her, telling her everything would be all right. He’d make her laugh and tease her about her bed hair, the way she’d always left the last little bit of her tea untouched or her ability to have cold feet twenty-three hours a day.

Yet, somehow she wasn’t able to hear his voice anymore or even see his face in her mind. Rushing out of the bed, she hurried into the spare room and grabbed a box out of the cupboard. It took her only a few minutes to find all her photos of Jason.

As gently as possible she traced his face, and she knew she wasn’t ready to move on, yet. She might not be able to remember his voice or see his face in her mind, but her heart still remembered his touch.

Chapter Seven

A couple of weeks later, Erik sat across the room on the lounge chair in Oliver’s living room.

Oliver’s surgery had been a success, without any complications. Being stuck at home on the couch for the following two weeks, however, drove him insane, not to mention being restricted to limited movement. He missed his workouts, bike rides, and the occasional jog in the morning. Even driving the car was off limits, and he was grateful for his parents coming every couple of days to check on him. Markus and Ty did their best to keep him entertained, fed, and sane, and he really appreciated their efforts. Tyson’s grandmother, Hazel, kept his pantry stocked with cake and meals in the freezer. He could already feel his waist expanding.

But the person he wanted to see most didn’t visit once.

Tamara.

“How’s Tamara?” Oliver finally asked after answering all of Erik’s medical questions.

It didn’t go past Oliver that his coach moved uncomfortably in his seat. “She’s fine.”

“I haven’t heard from her since…” Well, he couldn’t say since they’d had sex and he walked out on her.

Erik shrugged, not looking at Oliver, and said, “The whole thing with the money issue upset her deeply. I suppose she’s still hung up with that. I’m sure—”

“Which money issue?” Oliver interrupted him.

Erik looked up, eyes wide open. “At work,” he replied simply.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Sitting up straight, he stared at Oliver with confusion spread across the face. “I thought she’d told you.”

Oliver’s patience was about to snap. With great effort, he kept his voice even as he asked, “Will you just get to the point and tell me what’s going on?”

It didn’t take much to figure out that whatever his coach was about to tell him, he wouldn’t like it. What kind of money trouble could she be in? Raking his hand over his face, he leaned back and stared at the ceiling. That’s when his mother’s words about some money problems at work came back to him.

“A few weeks ago, there was a discrepancy in petty cash. A couple of hundred bucks were gone, and a few witnesses came forward accusing Tammy.”

“For fuck’s sake, she wouldn’t do that,” Oliver spat out.

Erik nodded. “I know.” He leaned back, and his gaze fixed on a point in the distance. “I thought you knew,” he whispered.

Oliver didn’t reply, but waited for his coach to continue. Knew what? He hadn’t had contact with anybody from the club since his injury. Some of the boys had come by with a few drinks for a movie evening, but they’d mostly talked baseball, the next season, or girls. There’d been a few calls from Cindy, and she’d even stood at his doorstep a few times, but thanks to Markus she’d never made it into the house, let alone anywhere near him.

Knew what?

His stomach tightened as he prepared himself for the news he was about to hear.

“Cindy was quite adamant in her claim she’d seen Tam stealing the money. Initially, Karen supported her in her claim, but soon told management that Cindy had blackmailed her, and she wanted to retract her statement.”

Oliver’s mind tried to process what he heard, but he wasn’t able to make sense of them.

Erik continued. “It was all false accusations. It turned out that it’d been Cindy who’d taken the money.”

“Friggin’ shit,” Oliver murmured.

There was a silence hanging in the air when neither of them spoke. Oliver was still trying to make sense of what he’d been told. Cindy stealing the money and indicting Tamara. He rubbed his temple with his fingers. Oliver hadn’t had a bad headache in quite a while, but he was sure getting one now.

“Why hasn’t she told me?” he finally asked.

Letting out a long breath, Erik leaned back into the seat. “Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Why doesn’t she answer the damn phone?”

With a raised eyebrow, his coach replied. “She moved back to Perth.”

If he thought his injury had been painful, he was wrong. Hearing that Tamara had moved back to the west without telling him was like having every limb hacked off with an axe. All of a sudden, his throat was dry. He stood awkwardly to get to the kitchen for a drink, but also tossed two pain relievers into his mouth and drowned them with water. Looking over at his shelf, he remembered the day she’d been here, the day he’d touched her skin and kissed her soft lips. The day he looked into her blue eyes when he’d made her come. Oliver leaned forward with his hands on the kitchen bench, struggling to get his breathing under control. Closing his eyes for a moment, he tried to concentrate on what he’d learned to calm down.

“What was going on between you two?”

Oliver shot around. “What?”

“Was there something going on between you and Tammy?” Erik asked again.

He choked out a chuckle. “Nope.” It hadn’t been the truth, but he doubted that leaving Tamara behind after having the best sex of his life, after falling for her, could be considered as
something going on.
Why had she asked him about Erin, though?

Why had he asked about Jason?

It was like another stab into his chest.

“I should’ve listened to you,” he finally said without looking at his coach.

Erik shook his head. “Mate, I’d love to punch—”

With hands up in defeat, Oliver said, “Feel free.”

But Erik didn’t move.

“For what it’s worth, I thought we had started something more than just a fling. I really…I…”

“Did you sleep with her?”

Nodding, Oliver said, “Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Fuck you. I told you—”

“I know. I’m sorry. It might give you some satisfaction to know that her move causes me more pain than this crappy knee.
And
that should say a lot.”

Erik glared at him and eyed him suspiciously for a long moment. “How’s the knee going?”

“Yeah, the healing is coming along well.” He had another sip of his water before he went on. “I can forget about a career in baseball, though. That dream’s gone down the drain.”

“Sorry, mate.”

Oliver let out a long breath. Yes, so was he. All he’d wanted for years was to make it big in baseball. It was starting to become popular in Australia. They’d even had a game between the LA Dodgers and Arizona Diamondbacks in Sydney to open their season. Unlike what Mark and Ty always claimed, it wasn’t about the money. If it had been about the money, he’d have left long ago for America. For him it was about bringing this game into the spotlight. Making it popular in Australia.

But this dream was over.

“Will you give me her number in Perth? She won’t answer her mobile and there’s one thing I’ve gotta do.”

Erik hesitated. “Only if you tell me why?”

Pinching his nose with his fingers, he whispered, “To apologise.”

“What for?”

“For Christ’s sake, Erik.”

“What for?” the coach persisted.

Oliver moved away from the bench and walked back into the lounge room where he sat on the couch.

What for?

How was he supposed to tell his coach, Tamara’s uncle, the real reason for his apology? He’d behaved like a dog?

Erik followed him and was now leaning against the doorjamb.

“I need to apologise for walking out on her after I’d slept with her,” he said.

A litany of curses echoed in the room before Erik turned and left.

“Well, that went well,” he said to himself as he slouched back into the pillow.

***

Tamara watched the fountain in front of her and let the sound of the water relax her. The play of the water as it rose to grand heights, only to fall again to make the journey all over cast a spell over her. Gazing at it, she seemed to go into a trance for a small while, as she simply sat there and let the world go by. In the far distance she heard the kids yelling and laughing, the buzzing of the insects, the birds were chirping and the Fremantle Docker blew in the cool breeze. She took her bag and unpacked her lunch as well as a can of Coke.

She’d always loved coming to Kings Park, and so had Jason.

Thinking back, she remembered the day he had proposed to her. They’d been going out for a few years and had moved into a house together only weeks earlier. She couldn’t have been happier.

There he’d sat on the opposite side of the fountain she sat at today. He’d brought along a huge picnic, and that should’ve made her suspicious. Jason had never been big on showing off. Basics were his motto. The way he’d dressed (but she admitted that his
basic
had been extremely sexy), the way they’d lived, travelled, and the way he’d gone through life in general. Basic, but to the fullest.

Tamara wiped away a tear when she thought of the ring he’d given her. She held her hand in front of her where it used to be on her left finger. It’d been hard to remove it, but it was part of her
moving on
.

“Tammy snookum,” he’d said while Tamara had looked through all the containers of food.

“Yes?” she’d replied absentmindedly.

“Tammy!”

She’d looked up and noticed his red cheeks.

“I want to marry…I mean, do you want to marry me?”

Taken aback by his confused outburst of a proposal, she’d lifted her eyebrows, but before she’d been able to say anything, he’d said, “Crap,” and had run off.

Even more confused, she’d watched him as he’d run to the car, but thankfully, he’d returned in only a few minutes.

“Okay,” he’d said. “Let’s try this again.”

He’d opened a small velvety, aubergine coloured box. The ring inside was beautiful. She’d never seen anything like it. And true to his outlook on life, even the ring was basic. But amazingly basic.

“Tam, will you marry me?”

A smile tugged at her lips when Tamara remembered how she’d burst into laughter at the most awkward and botched up marriage proposal ever.

She’d moved closer and kissed him. “Yes. I couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do.”

Their kisses grew hotter and more intimate, until an old lady had nudged Jason with her walking stick.

“Young man,” she’d said. “I’m not nosy, but I did see your proposal, but with all your happiness, don’t forget there are children around here in the park.”

The lady had given them a wink and said, “Congratulations.” Then had walked off.

It’d been one of the best days in her life. Until the wedding, of course.

Tamara let the tears fall as she ate her lunch. Today was her goodbye to Jason. He’d always be in her heart, and he’d always be part of her life, but it was time to step out of the life she’d had with him and start something new.

She thought of Oliver and something inside her ached. It’d been so hard to leave him. She’d told her parents about him. As much as they hadn’t understood her reasons for leaving him, they’d accepted them. She’d even come clean about Oliver with Erik. Thinking of her conversation with her uncle, she assumed he’d be more pleased than upset that she wouldn’t pursue a relationship with his star recruit. He kept her up-to-date with Oliver’s surgery and recovery, as well as the bad news that Oliver wouldn’t be able to play baseball professionally anymore. But all hadn’t been that bad. Offers to coach other teams had flooded in already from around Australia, American colleges, as well as a few international ones. She’d had no idea
how
good he must’ve been.

Tamara’s phone buzzed, and she answered her mother’s call.

“Darling, where are you?”

“Kings Park,” she replied.

There was a moment of silence, and Tamara assumed her mum knew why she’d come here.

“Are you all right?”

“I’m fine. Thanks, Mum.”

“Have you finished at Uni for today?”

Tamara had started a part time course at the Uni to study teaching children with special needs. Another point on her
moving on
list. No more numbers, but lots of people. Small people.

Looking up into the distance, she replied, “Yes, I only had to pick up my assignment and grab a few books from the library.”

“Oh good then. Can you go past Mrs. Schneider on the way home and pick up a dozen eggs for me?”

Tamara smiled. Living at home was nice. Being part of the family was helping her heal. “Will do, Mum.”

She stood and took the small European coin out of her bag. They’d found it during one of their travels to the south when they’d had a flat tyre. It’d become their lucky charm. She kissed it and flicked it into the water.

“Love you always, Jason,” she whispered.

***

Not sure whether he was doing the right thing, Oliver knocked at his coach’s door. There was something he had to get off his chest.