Let Love Shine (11 page)

Holy fuck! She’s sweet and sexy. This can’t be for real.

Quickly regaining my composure, I cock my head to the side. “So
you did a little digging, huh?” I need to stay on top here. I’ve never been out
of control like this, but Maddy is fucking killing me here. I’ve only known her
five minutes and already I never know what to expect from her.

“My name—you just had to find out who I am, did you?” I’m
messing with her, but I have to admit that part of me is very turned on that
she had to figure out who I am.

“Of course I dug. I needed to know who was responsible for
getting me all hot and sweaty before.” As soon as the words are out of her
mouth, she regrets saying them. Heat blooms across her neck and chest; her
cheeks turn pink.

Going in for the kill, I put my lips right up against the
outer shell of her ear. “So I got you all hot and bothered? Hmmm. Let’s see if
I can do it again.” I pull her onto the makeshift dance floor in the living
room and thank fucking God that it’s a slow song. Now, I have the perfect
excuse to keep her tight ass pressed up against my groin.

When she raises her arms above her head and starts shimmying
against my body, I nearly lose it. Needing to feel her skin under my fingertips,
I trace lightly over her arms. Her skin flames and my desire for her is out of
control. I feel her skin raise as goose bumps cover her arms. When her hands
start roaming all over my back and chest, I want nothing more than to take her
up to my room.

We move, perfectly in sync with one another. Her soft body
pressed up against mine is pure heaven. I spin her around and our eyes meet
again.

Fuck. Her eyes are wide but crinkling in the corners. She
doesn’t have to try all that hard to figure out what I’m thinking. Thousands of
unspoken words are exchanged in that one simple stare. I feel vulnerable and
exposed. She knows I want her. But what’s even scarier is that I do—I want her
so badly and not just for one night.

Remembering my vow to myself from so many years ago, I
remind myself to keep my walls intact. I have to get away, now, before she
figures me out, before I do something I regret.

“Thanks for the dance,” I say sharply as I help her stand up
straight from the last spin. She tenses at the cold, hard change in my
demeanor.

Whatever. I can’t risk being hurt again.

As I strut away from her, I see Jessa across the room. Desperate
to forget Maddy, I spend the rest of the night making out with Jessa on the
couch, certain for Maddy to witness the whole sickening scene.

I want her to see me with Jessa. I want her to be disgusted
with me. The more I can piss her off, the more I can guarantee that she’ll
leave me, and my dark secrets alone.

Alternate POV from Let Love In

The movement at my side wakes me up. Reaching my hand the
other side of the bed, I feel someone next to me. What the freak? No one ever
stays the night. Who the hell? Then, as the fuzziness clears from my head, I
remember everything.

Maddy being drugged.

Me saving her.

Tucking her into bed and then sleeping peacefully for the
first time in as long as I can remember.

There were no nightmares last night.

I roll over on my side to a wide-eyed and obviously afraid
Maddy. Cupping her cheek in my hand, I need to try to calm her down. She looks
like a frightened deer caught in the headlights.

“Good morning, beautiful.” I don’t mean for my words to
sound as sugary sweet as they just did, but she really is beautiful, all sleep
mussed and drowsy—she looks perfect, really.

Shock is still washing over her as she comes to. “Um, did
we…you know.” She’s flailing her arms all over the place trying to communicate
what her words aren’t. Finally, she spits out what she’s been trying to get at.
“Did we…umm…do it?”

Holy fucking shit! She can’t even say the word. She’s so
damn adorable that I can’t help but laugh at her. I pull myself up against the
headboard and she joins me. She thinks I don’t notice, but I see her peaking
under the covers to check out her state of undress. I’m pretty damn proud of myself
that I didn’t touch her last night. God, I wanted to, but even I’m not that
much of an asshole.

When she’s situated next to me, I stare into her eyes. “No,
Maddy. We most definitely did not ‘do it.’ Believe me
when
we ‘do it’,
you’ll remember.” I arch an eyebrow at her and fold my arms behind my head.

“Did you just say
when
we sleep together?” Her shock
just adds to my desire for her. Does she think that I don’t want her? Fuck.  I
thought I made that pretty clear last night.

“Yes, I did.” I’m not going to hide that I want her any
more. Seeing her with that dick last night, gutted me. I won’t do that again.

“So Maddy, what do you remember from last night?” I hate
thinking about what could have happened to her if I wasn’t there. I never would
have pegged myself as the protective type, but her vulnerability and sweetness
have done all sorts of messed-up shit to my head. To be honest, I can’t say I
hate how I’ve changed since I met her.

She looks so freaking hot chewing on her lip and twirling
her hair as she tries to place what happened. “Um, well I remember being at the
pool hall with everyone. And then I remember Mike and I hanging out at the bar
for a little bit. After that, things get a little fuzzy.”

She’s got bits and pieces of the story straight, but the big
part, the part about her almost being kidnapped and raped—because I’m certain
that’s what that guy would have done to her—that part is eluding her memories.

I see her panic rise as some of the big picture comes into
focus. She’s almost shaking with nervousness. The need to calm her is like
needing to take my next breath.

“Don’t worry, Maddy. Nothing happened. I was walking back
into Shooters when Mike was trying to leave with you. You guys walked past me
and I saw that something was off. Your eyes weren’t clear. They were all glassy
and you just didn’t seem with it. I had been watching you all night, so I knew
you weren’t drunk. That’s when I realized he must have slipped you something. I
knocked him on his ass and then brought you here. I know you probably didn’t
want to wake up next to me, but I didn’t want you to be alone and scared when
you woke up.”

As she’s trying to take this all in, she freaks out and
tries to call Mel. She nearly falls on her face as she stumbles out of the bed.
God, how much did he fucking give her? If I ever get my hands on him again—well,
it just won’t be pretty. He’ll get a lot more than a knee to the sac.

“Shh. Don’t freak out. It’s okay. I texted her last night
and let her know that you were here. Don’t worry. It’s all taken care of.” I
lean in close to her needing to touch her, to inhale her intoxicating smell. When
the pad of my thumb traces over her face, across her lips, my groin twitches
with the electricity that moves between us. In all of my experience, I have
never gotten
this
excited from a simple touch. I’m lost in her beauty;
she’s mesmerizing and I’m completely disarmed by the charge between us.

“You were watching me?” Her question brings me out of my
erotic musings about doing much more to her lips than just trace over them with
my fingertip.

“Um…yeah. I guess you could say that. It’s just …well…I
didn’t trust that guy. I’d never seen him there and he was staring at you like
a wolf eyeing up a lamb while you were leaning over the pool table. I wanted to
make sure that you were okay, that’s all.” Pulling my hand from her face, I
readjust the sheets across my lap to hide my growing erection. I shouldn’t be
turned on as we sit here discussing her attempted attack, but I want her.
Thinking about protecting her just makes me wish she was mine. That’s what’s
turning me on. Her being mine and only mine.

When she thanks me for saving her, that desire grows even
more. She might just be the sweetest girl I’ve ever known. I only hear the tail
end of what she’s saying as I’m lost thinking about just how sweet—and hot, for
that matter—she must taste. “…I know you don’t really like me and all, so I
just wanted to say thank you for helping me despite that.”

Okay, wait a minute! Did I just hear her correctly? “That’s
what you think? You think I hate you?” I don’t mean for my words to be harsh
and biting, but they are. Here I am daydreaming about being with her and she
thinks I hate her. Oh, she’s got another thing coming to her.

“Well, I know I’m not your favorite person. That’s for
certain. I’d like to think you don’t
hate
me, Reid, but I don’t think
you like me very much.” I lean in as close as I can to her. I feel her breath
on my lips and mine are no more than a millimeter from hers.

Cupping her cheek, and then grazing my knuckles across her
soft skin, I say, “I definitely do not hate you.” I can only hope and pray she
hears the truth in my words.

“Then what is it Reid? What is going on here?” Cue the
flailing hands again. “I’m exhausted from all of this. You antagonize me and
all but treat me like shit, and then you run in like some kind of knight in
shining armor to rescue me from some big bad wolf. I––I don’t know what to do
or how to feel. I can’t keep running away from you. Avoiding you is draining
me.”

She’s ranting and raving so quickly, that the deep breath
she inhales, forces her chest out; I can’t help but look down at her perfect
tits.

“Since the moment I met you, I’ve wanted to be here in your
arms, but you’ve done nothing but push me away. So tell me how I was supposed
to think that you felt anything other than hatred for me.” She finishes her
little tirade and I quickly dart my eyes back to hers. There’d be no use in
getting caught checking her out right now.

I need to change the mood here. We’re good together when
we’re playful. It’s easier to flirt than fight. “So you think I’m a knight in
shining armor, huh?” I grin all goof-ball-like at her hoping that she’ll slow
down a bit and lighten up. When her hand falls playfully to my chest, the electricity
returns. Her skin on mine is scorching hot. She looks down at her hand on my
bare chest and her eyes widen with what I can only hope is desire. 

We carry on the rest of the conversation basically laying
out what an asshole I’ve been and how much I’ve hurt her. It’s nothing I didn’t
already know, but I couldn’t help it. I can’t be the first guy on Earth who was
ever afraid to admit his feelings to a girl before.

Yet, for the very first time in my life, I’m tired of it. I’m
tired of keeping everyone away and I refuse to deny myself Maddy any longer. It’s
confession time.

“You’ve completely knocked me off my game. I’ve never met
anyone like you and it scares the shit out of me. It’s like you don’t see me.”
She begins to say something and I softly press my fingers to her luscious lips
to silence her. “You don’t see me; you see straight through me. You see beyond
the outside and it’s like you see the me no one else sees. I saw it in your
eyes that first night I met you and it knocked me on my ass. I was a goner, and
since then, I guess I’ve just been trying to push you away.”

She doesn’t believe me. Why should she? I know I’ve been a
shit, but I have to continue talking to try and convince her. I’ve never needed
someone to believe me more than I need Maddy to believe me right now. “You’re a
smart-ass, and I love that you keep me on my toes. You are most definitely not
like the other girls, and I love that, but it also scares me like nothing else.
I haven’t let anyone in for years and, well, with you, I feel like I want to
give it a chance.”

All I can do now is hope she’ll accept my apology and give
me a chance. I know it’s the last thing I deserve, but maybe, by some act of
God, I’ll get an opportunity to redeem myself. I think I can be a good guy. I’ve
never done it before, but for Maddy, I want to try.

Alternate Point of View from Let Love Stay

There he is. Yep, that’s him. I’ll never forget him. It’s
difficult to wipe away the memories of your very first crush, especially when
pictures of him line your mantel.

Oh God! He’s looking around the parking lot. Slouching down
in the seat of my roommate’s car, I pray to God that he doesn’t see me. When he
turns his back to the cars facing the coffee shop and struts through the door,
my heart rate returns to normal.

Reid Connely. After countless attempts to get in touch with
him, he’s finally here. And now, suddenly, I have no clue what to say. I know
what I have to tell him is going to turn his world upside down, but time isn’t
on my side. I have to tell him. He has to know.

Nervousness permeates every cell in my body as I reach for
the handle. Fuck! I can’t do this.

I need some moral support. Pulling my phone out of my
pocket, I dial Megan, my roommate. Of course, because she’s the best person
ever, she picks up on the first ring.

“You can do this,” she coaches from the other end before I
can even get a word out.

Stammering nervously over my words, all I can come up with
is, “But, what if—” before she cuts me off.

“There is no ‘what if’ here. You have to talk to him. He has
to know. Put your big girl panties on and get your ass in there.” I scan the
interior of her Corolla, trying to find the hidden camera she must have. How
the hell does she know I’m still in the car?

“How the hell—”

“Did I know you haven’t even gotten out of the car yet? Because
I’ve known you forever, that’s how. And I’ve heard this story from every angle.
You did the right thing by calling him, and now, he’s finally doing the right
thing by agreeing to meet you. Now, get your ass in there, talk to him and then
call me as soon as you’re done. Okay?”

“Okay. Okay. I can do this. Thanks for the pep talk. I’ll
call you in a bit,” I sigh into the line, but don’t hang up.

“And Katie…”

“Yeah, Meg.”

“You’re a good person for doing this and I love you. I’ll
talk to you soon.” Her chipper voice makes me feel a little lighter, but I’m
still nervous as hell to get this over with.

Hanging up with her, I feel a lump form in my throat and
tears burn at my eyes. I hope to God she’s right. I hope I’m doing the right
thing. I hope in the end of this, that Reid doesn’t hate me, and that I don’t
make an already shitty situation even shittier.

Stepping out into the parking lot, I pull my jacket around
my chest. God, it is freaking cold out here. Yet, despite the chill in the air,
I still find myself walking ever so slowly into the Starbucks where Reid is
waiting for me.

When I finally get the courage to walk into the small campus
café, my eyes land on Reid immediately. Standing in front of him, I swallow
back my fear. Holding my hand out to him, I smile brightly and hope for the
best.

“Hi. You must be Reid. I’m Katelyn Donovan,” I say almost
unevenly. When he stands, his frame towers over me and his chair screeches
loudly on the floor. Intimidated, by his size and the noise, I shrink back from
him a little, but keep my hand extended. Shaking his hand is awkward, but at
least he didn’t tell me to fuck off.

“Hi, Katelyn. It’s…uh…it’s good to meet you, I guess.” His
words come out sounding unnatural, uneasy, as if he’s trying to conceal his
true feelings. Okay, let’s get on with this then.

I take my jacket off and drape it on the back of my chair
and Reid takes his seat. The air is thick with awkward silence as we both avoid
eye contact for as long as possible.

His deep and curt voice catches me off guard. “I’m going to
grab another coffee. Can I get you anything?” he asks politely, even though I
think polite is the last thing he wants to be.

All right, fine. Let’s see how he reacts to this then.  Looking
over at the brightly colored chalkboard, I pretend as if I’m trying to make a
huge decision about which caffeinated beverage I should have.

“Sure, I’ll have a grande, soy vanilla latte, skinny with a
shot of caramel syrup.” Hmmm, take that. Maybe it’ll help break some of this
tension.

“Um, okay, but can you write that down,” Reid snidely
remarks after I tell him my order.

Oh, I can’t help it; my eyes roll almost involuntarily. “I’m
kidding. I’ll have a regular coffee; milk and sugar is just fine.” I really was
just trying to lighten the mood a little. So much for that plan, I guess.

While he’s over on the line getting our drinks, I get a text
from Megan asking how things are going. I quickly type back a response that
“things are going just swell. We’re running away tonight and getting married.”

Her reply, an eye-rolling smiley face, tells me my sarcastic
response was successfully received.

When Reid slinks back into his chair and slides my drink in
front of me, my nerves return. Still unable to come up with anything to say, I
feel lame.

He says, “So.”

And all I can come up with is a “so” in response.

Well, that went over like a lead balloon. Reid’s features
harden instantly and there’s a palpable tension building in around us. Leaning
menacingly close to me across the small table, he seethes, “I don’t want to be
rude, well actually, I do, but I won’t. You’re the one who’s been calling me,
who’s got something to say to me, so if you don’t start talking, then there’s
really no point in me being here.”

I take a small sip of my coffee in the hopes it will
strengthen my resolve. It doesn’t, but he’s right. I’m the one who wanted this.
I need to say something.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I am the one who wanted to talk
and here I am all clammed up. I actually sat in the parking lot for about
fifteen minutes before I came in. I just don’t know where to start.” Rubbing my
hands over my legs in the hopes of warming them up is futile. My heart is
racing, but the blood refuses to warm my extremities. Perhaps it has something
to do with the icy atmosphere of this conversation.

One more sip and here we go. “Can I ask you something
first?” I can see a whole swirl of anger move across his face at my question.

I reach to my side and tug my jacket across my lap. Twisting
the string of my hoodie around my fingers, I say, “It’ll help me figure out
where to start.” He doesn’t answer my question; he just shoots me a look that I
think means I should continue.

The point of the last few weeks, of all of those phone calls
was to arrive at this one question. Thinking back over everything that has led
me to this exact moment is so overwhelming—so much so, that I can’t even spit
out anything intelligible at first.

When I let my emotions settle, I finally ask, “When is the
last time you spoke with your mom?”

My emotions might have just been checked, but Reid’s, well
to say he’s angry is a huge understatement. I guess I should have expected
that. You can’t go digging into someone’s past, especially a past as dark as
his, and not expect anger in return.