Sek looked from Cormac to her, eyes narrowed into slits of hate. "Dogs?" he asked, disgust and dismissal and something like pain in his voice. "You would lie down with dogs?"
She could see Cormac bristle at the insult Sek had given him, but he stayed where he was. She moved past her brother cautiously to stand beside Cormac. "Given my other choices?" She took Cormac's hand in hers. "Yes."
She saw Sek go still. It was the stillness of the stalk, that split second before a leopard exploded into motion to try and bring down its prey. She knew she should be scared, but there was a coldness spreading deep inside her. The words from her father's last note to her kept playing through her head, like a song on repeat.
Be well. All my love
. With every repetition she felt herself growing more and more distant.
Be well
. She let it happen.
All my love
. She'd known what her brother was capable of, better than anyone.
Be well
. She had no emotions any more: no fear, no hurt, no grief. Just absolute numbness, a freezing chill inside her.
Her brother managed to get himself under control, but the smile he gave her was lethal. He shook his head. "There seems to be one thing you haven't taken into consideration, Kess." His eyes flared with the light. "You see, I'm your legal guardian now. Despite what your papers say, you aren't eighteen yet. You're still a minor. And I'm your only family left of legal age."
Cormac growled again. Kess could feel his tension as he stood beside her and tried not to rip her brother's head off at this last ditch effort to leverage the law to bring her home. She felt the chill inside her and was glad for it. It allowed her a little space to think and in that moment, she had it. She knew what she could threaten him with that might make him back off, or leave altogether.
When she spoke, it was in a voice as soft and cold as snow. "No. You're going to have to get a court order to make me go with you, and that's going to take some time, no matter how many lawyers you hire." She closed the distance between the two of them, so she could hiss, "And somehow I don't think you are going to do that, brother. Because I might just need to tell them about the night I left Miami and a few other things besides. And that will lead to all kinds of unpleasant questions for all of us."
Sek looked like he was having trouble getting in a good breath. "You'd stay here, letting the dog sniff up your skirts? Throwing yourself at him like some kind of bitch in heat?!" His hands clenched and unclenched with his anger.
Cormac lunged at him, but Kess hauled him back when she saw Sek's eyes begin to change. Cormac couldn't change--not if he didn't want to risk further punishment from the Alpha—and she wasn't going to risk him getting into it with her brother in leopard form. Kess watched as Sek regained control of himself. He sneered at them, but the glare of hatred he reserved for Cormac sent a shiver down her back that had nothing to do with the cold room.
"Okay, Kess." His voice was quiet and she didn't trust it. "I'll go. You've made your decision." Sek walked past them, his face a mask she couldn't read. He stopped at the door and looked at the two of them, making a point to stare at where her hand held Cormac's arm. "Let's see if you can live with it."
Cormac opened the door to his place and held it for Kess. She shambled in, kind of like a lovely zombie. She hadn't said more than two words all the way here. She just sat, pressing her hand to her forehead, even after the bleeding had stopped. She hadn't said a word about what had gone on between the two siblings that necessitated him slamming her face into a mirror.
He tried to be patient, but he wanted to do something. A very specific something actually: find Sek wherever he was hiding and pound him into oblivion. You didn't treat people you cared about like this. This wasn't how you dealt with someone you loved.
"Come on," he said, leading her to the couch. "Let me have a look at it." He reached over and turned on the lamp.
Kess blinked, as though she were coming back from somewhere very far away. She pulled her hand down. Dried blood caked her face. Cormac went and got a wet washcloth to clean her head so he could get a look at the cut. It looked like it was already beginning to heal. He put the dirty cloth down and turned her face to the light to get a better look.
"My father is dead," she whispered into the quiet, as if unsure what the words meant. "Sek killed him." Her eyes wandered along the walls, not really seeing anything. "He said it's my fault." She sighed, a soft, defeated sound. "I think he might be right."
Cormac held her hands in his. He tried to catch her gaze, but her eyes refused to settle on any one thing. "It's not your fault. You had nothing to do with it. Sek is the one that did it, not you."
"What's wrong with me?" she breathed, voice husky with unvoiced pain. "Why don't I feel anything? Why don't I feel anything?"
"It's okay," he assured her, "people feel things in different ways. You just need some time."
"It's NOT," she said, jerking her hands out of his and getting up to pace the length of the room. "I should be crying, screaming--something. I don't feel anything!"
"Kess--"
"I knew what Sek would do. I knew it! And I just gave my father some pathetic warning and took off again, like a coward." She took a deep breath, as if to scream and then let it out, deflating as he watched. "Maybe I am a monster, just like him."
Cormac crossed to her, grabbing her arms to shake her. "You are nothing like him. Don't even say that. He did this--he killed your father, he's throwing the blame on you to break you down, to drag you in the gutter where he is. It was not your fault. None of it was your fault."
She looked up at him, eyes a dull gold in the dim light. "I want to feel something, Cormac. Make me feel something." She pressed into him, her lips on his, her hands pulling at his clothes. She slid against him like liquid heat and he let her because she was everything he'd ever dreamed of. She was hunger and need and want, her flesh blazing hot on his cool skin. She dragged his mouth down to hers, fingers wrapping in his hair. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up and she twined her legs around his waist, strong arms locking around his neck. He nuzzled her throat. Her mouth was on his again, more demanding as she pleaded against his lips, "Please."
It was the please that got him. He pulled away gently and set her down on the couch, holding her hands in his. He lightly kissed each knuckle, then wrapped her in the blanket that he now kept draped across the back of it specifically for her. She looked up at him, confused and a little hurt.
"Any other time, Kess, I would. But it wouldn't be right if we--if I--keep going. Not like this. I don't want you to regret anything about us. So, as much as it kills me, I have to say no." She nodded, ducking her head. He put a finger under her chin, forcing her to meet his eyes. "Believe me when I say I want to. More than anything. But when it happens, we both deserve it to be real." He kissed her again, trying to tell her without words everything he felt for her.
Without words, she answered.
He pulled back finally, leaning back on his heels before her. Kess opened her eyes slowly. "Thank you. For not taking advantage." She took his hand and pulled him up beside her.
Cormac leaned back, taking her with him, so that she was nestled against him, cocooned in the blanket. It was a while before she spoke again. "Cormac, do you remember what you said when you first found out I was a were?"
"Which part?" He idly stroked the soft strands of her inky hair away from her cheek.
"The part where you said you'd been waiting for me for a long time?" Her voice was muffled by the blanket.
"Mmmmm-hmmmm." He wondered where she was going with this.
"I think I've been waiting for you for a long time too."
Cormac dashed from his last class over to the library. He had signed up for an evening class this semester, but it was full night by the time it let out. He was supposed to meet Finn over at the student union as soon as he was finished so they could go to the Barn together for their turn on Kess watch, but he needed to grab an article for his required reading. There were still plenty of students roaming campus even though it was dark so he felt safe in getting it out of the way now rather than dragging Finn along.
It only took him five minutes to photocopy the article he needed and return it to the reference shelf. He tucked the article into his backpack, slung the bag over one shoulder, and headed back out into the freezing night. He sniffed the air--it was probably going to snow again later tonight. Students trundled past him, weighted down with books and parkas, head bowed against the cold. To Cormac it was a beautiful night, one that made him want to change, except that he was still under Alpha rule to stay human. The moon was missing from the sky, so he didn't feel the urge to change, but man was it going to suck to go through a full moon trapped in his human body.
He cut across the quad and took a side street between the old gymnasium and the science building. The gym was undergoing construction; scaffolding and equipment lined the walk and the exterior of building. He skirted a pile of debris. He'd forgotten about the renovation since he usually came to the student union from the other side of campus. The light was almost nonexistent here since the buildings were taller than the rest nearby--it was an accident of architecture that the lamp posts nearest these buildings were placed where they wouldn't shed much light down the street.
Cormac felt a tingling along his spine and stopped. He opened his senses more, trying to smell anything strange, but the scent trails were muddy and filled with the countless smells of students and faculty. He turned around to go back the way he'd come—he could skirt the library and take the long way to the student union--and stopped. A strange man stood at the other end of the street, blocking his path.
He heard the whisper of movement behind him and to the right. Cormac threw himself to the side, but not fast enough to avoid something heavy smacking into the side of his head. He went down on his hands and knees, his vision blurry. Then he felt that same heavy something crash into the back of his skull. He didn't even feel himself hit the pavement.
Kess was glad the Barn was busy--it kept her mind off of less pleasant thoughts. Since Sek had appeared, her life had gone into lockdown, and while the people she shared it with were excellent company, she still missed the freedom she'd had before he'd found her. She wondered when he would return to Miami. Sek's last words to her made her think that he might have finally given up, but that didn't match his actions over the last year. He'd kept searching for her until he found her; it wouldn't be like him to quit now. Unless he had finally realized he could never have her the way he wanted to and decided to go home to lick his wounds.
Although now that she thought about it, she wondered how anyone would know that he'd left town. It wasn't like he was keeping a high profile as it was, nor was he likely to send a politely worded note. For what seemed like the millionth time, she weighed the prospect of leaving, surprised once again at the pain that thought brought her. She wanted to stay here, with Cormac. She didn't quite know what to do with that feeling but knew how important it was to listen to it.
She put in table four's order and retrieved the appetizers for table ten. The evening was passing quickly and soon Cormac would be here to see her safely to his place. She'd be staying on pack land until the threat was over. Alaric had suggested she and Cormac bunk at the Lodge for safety's sake, but Kess was grateful that Cormac had insisted on staying at his cabin. She already knew she wasn't in Alaric's good books; being under his roof would make an already tense situation worse.
She distributed refills to all of the diners at table eight and ran to grab a cocktail from the bar for another customer. The bustle of the dining room was soothing with the low rumble of voices serving to block out her less welcome thoughts. It was a comforting bit of normalcy to focus on her job.
She thought about her father in the quiet moments. She realized there was nothing she could have done. Once the rite of challenge was invoked, no one could interfere. Even if she had been there, she wasn't sure she could have saved him. She probably would have bought him some more time, but that was all. It didn't make her feel any better, but she would have to learn to accept it.
Kess was surprising herself with the way she was handling the proximity of her brother. She was still amazed that she had stood up to him. She never would have done that before. But before, she never would have thought about staying either—she would have piled as much stuff as she had on her in the car and taken off for parts unknown. For the longest time, the very idea of her brother had been the stuff of nightmares, but now it felt manageable. Sek still frightened her and she was rightfully wary of him, but it wasn't the paralyzing, mind-numbing fear that she'd been holding on to since she'd run away from Miami.
That didn't mean she didn't think he was dangerous. He had killed their father, a fact that she was still coming to terms with. He was ruthless and cunning and unbalanced--and unhealthily fixated on her. She touched her hand lightly to the rapidly healing cut on her forehead in remembered pain. As frightening as all that was, Kess still felt like she had options, limited though they were. She had never really felt that before.