Leave it for the Rain: A Love She Couldn't Remember—A Woman He Couldn't Forget (Grayson Brothers Book 6) (19 page)

“Blue was a stray that made the bunkhouse home last Fall. I got Scout the same year I met you.”

“Goodness. A dog and a girl in the same year? That must have been some year.”

He laughed. “It was one of the best.”

For several seconds they gazed at each other, both deeply shadowed in the moonlight. “What happened tonight?” he asked softly. “Why are you suddenly welcoming me as if you remember how much we love each other?”

Sighing, she cupped his strong jaw. “Because I
want
to remember. I want what we lost, Adam.”

With a groan, he squeezed his eyes closed and drew her to him, their foreheads gently touching. “You have no idea how much I want that.”

“Yes, I do.” Her voice was soft, her conviction strong. She knew. “Tell me everything you remember about us being thirteen together,” she said. “I don’t want you to share a single event from before or after that.”

“Any particular reason?” he asked, opening his eyes.

“I want to learn about our relationship one year at a time so I don’t get confused.”

“That could take all night just to tell you about our year of being thirteen,” he said.

“I don’t plan to go back to bed.”

“Talking with you ‘til dawn is far more inviting than wrestling with an old hound all night.”

Their gazes tangled and they smiled at each other.

He drew her deep into his embrace and held her tenderly against him as he set the swing into a gentle rocking motion. “When we were thirteen years old I knew I’d never love anyone but you...” he began. “And I knew I’d never forgive myself for breaking your heart.”

“You broke my heart?” she asked, intrigued.

“I did.” He relaxed his shoulders and drew in a breath. “Your father forbade me to see you. Out of respect for him and my own dad I tried to stay away. When I told you we couldn’t see each other anymore, you pretty much hated me and it was the worst moment of my life...”

Rebecca closed her eyes and drank in his words, wanting to experience the memories with all her senses as he shared them with her. “Where were we when you told me?” she asked.

“In the woods where my dad kept his boat.”

“What time of year was it?”

“Winter, why?”

“Details help me imagine the moment even if I can’t remember it. What did it smell like there?”

“Um... I guess it smelled like pine needles. We were standing in a small copse of pine trees. The air was frigid enough to redden our skin, and the boat held the slight odor of fish. You rode one of the geldings from the livery, a little gray fella, if I recall correctly.”

“Jasper? Could that be right?” she asked without opening her eyes, but a little thrill zipped through her. She didn’t know why the name had come to her, or if it was remotely close to the name of the gelding she rode, but it was exciting to have any ideas at all pop into her mind.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know. Your parents owned or cared for several horses at that time and I never knew the names of all of them because some were only there for a few days.”

“It’s all right,” she said. “And I don’t want to know the rest of this story. I think I’m happier without the memory of you breaking my heart.”

He chuckled and kissed her forehead. “Me, too.”

For a long time they sat silently holding each other while Adam rocked them on the swing. There, in the middle of the night while the river rushed by and the crickets chirped, Adam and Rebecca, who had lost so much, found their first opportunity to comfort one another.

Late morning, Rebecca read a lovely letter from her mother for the second time. She asked after Rebecca’s health and how she was fairing at Crane Landing. She shared news of home and what the children were doing and that they all desperately missed her and Grandmother. Her mother had enclosed a note from Helen Fiske, Rebecca’s longtime friend she had no memory of. Helen wrote simply and with great warmth that she understood that Rebecca didn’t remember her, but she was confident they would become great friends again upon Rebecca’s return. For now, Helen just wanted Rebecca to know she was thinking of her with the warmest thoughts and wishing her a quick and complete recovery. She added a request that Rebecca tell her all about Crane Landing when she returned. Feeling genuine warmth toward Helen, Rebecca folded the note knowing she’d had a good life in Fredonia. She would go back soon and try to reconnect with the many wonderful people she had in her life. But for today, she would embrace her new life and her new friends here in Crane Landing.

With that thought in mind, Rebecca called on Mary Crane to invite her to supper that evening. Then she went on to the mill to ask Adam to bring Leo with him when he came for supper. For Rebecca, the more engaged she kept her mind the less chance for irrational thoughts to sneak in. And the more time she spent with Adam the greater the possibility she would remember him and their love... and her past.

At the mill, Adam guided her to a secluded spot in the yard where it was safer and quieter for them to talk. “I’d rather skip supper and meet you on the back porch in the middle of the night again,” he teased.

Rebecca felt her face heat. She’d been as shameful and bold with him as Adam’s mother must have been with her male customers. The instant the thought registered, she gasped and clasped her hands over her ears as if she couldn’t bear her own wicked thoughts. To even
think
such a thing was surely evidence of an unstable mind.

“What’s the matter?” Adam asked, his flirtatious smile replaced by a look of concern.

“I... well, I... I’m mortified by my behavior last night,” she said, grasping at anything that might explain her bizarre outburst. But she was really mortified—and scared—by the obviously irrational direction of her thoughts.

“You were sweet and adorable last night.” He slipped his fingers over hers and lowered her hands to her sides, holding them in his own strong and steady hands. “We’ve shared many such moments, Rebecca, and every one of them was filled with love and never involved anything you need be ashamed of.”

She nodded, struggling to erase the horrid thought about Adam’s poor dead mother. “Thank you, Adam. I was just... I felt so desperate to remember you that I tossed my good sense straight into the river the instant you touched me.”

“Rebecca...” He tilted her chin until her eyes met his. “We’re trying to find our way back to each other. We need moments like that when we’re alone. We need to be free to talk honestly and even kiss if we desire. There’s no shame in kissing your betrothed,” he said.

“
You
were kissing your betrothed, Adam. I was kissing a man I’m just getting to know. There is a big difference between the two.”

Slowly, he shook his head. “No, Rebecca. Last night you knew me. I could feel the difference when I held you. If you don’t believe me, meet me on the porch at midnight. I know what I felt from you. Let me hold you again, and when you close your eyes you’ll remember me... you’ll remember
us,
” he said.

His certainty stunned her. There was truth to his words that put her thoughts in a spin. She
had
felt completely comfortable with him last night as if she had spent years being held in his arms. When he’d first arrived and caught her in a semi-sleep, moving into his arms had felt like the most natural thing in the world. His scent, his touch, the sound of his voice was... it felt like...
home
.

“Perhaps...” she said, slowly, her thoughts still anchored in their late night encounter.

“Perhaps you’ll meet me?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I meant perhaps I may have remembered you... for a few minutes,” she said.

“You knew me, Rebecca.” He slid his hands up her arms and gently squeezed her shoulders. “Let me help you remember. Meet me again tonight.”

She took a step back, both scared and excited about the thought of another late night interlude with Adam. “I’ll see you at supper. Will you bring Leo?”

The intensity drained from his eyes. “Is it Mary or
you
who wants Leo there?”

Rebecca frowned. “We both do. Why do you ask?”

Adam shook his head. “Curiosity is all. If he’s available, I’ll bring him along. Think about meeting me tonight, will you?”

“I’ll consider it.” With that, Rebecca turned and hurried out of the yard before she could commit herself to something she might regret. She needed to think this through logically, not emotionally. But wild exciting thoughts circled her mind as she walked to the grocer to pick up a few items that her grandmother had requested. If she met Adam tonight she could enjoy the wonderful sensation of being held in his arms. She could close her eyes and drink in his scent. But more importantly she could feel connected to him—and her past—again.

The temptation to meet him burned hard in her breast as she headed out River Road.

As soon as she returned home she helped her grandmother in the kitchen for an hour and then took Jojo outside to play. Minutes later she had followed Jojo to the front yard where the frisky kitten chased a tiny white moth flitting beneath the maple tree.

The sound of a carriage rattling up the short drive surprised Rebecca.

“Good day, young lady,” Doctor Samuel said, hailing her from the driver’s seat. “I was down the road checking on Micah Crane and thought I’d head up the hill and check on you as well.”

Rebecca welcomed the doctor, but as they sat on the front porch she silently cautioned herself to choose her words with care. “I had planned to see you tomorrow, Doctor Samuel.”

“I know, and I have saved you the trip,” he said. “How have your headaches been?” he asked.

“They are improving, but still a bother.”

“How frequent and how severe are they?” he asked.

“I have daily headaches of varying degree,” she answered lightly as if it was a common complaint.

The doctor eyed her closely for a minute. “Are you sleeping any better at night?

“I’m managing all right,” she said, being intentionally evasive about her sleeping habits. Her nightmare last night was enough to keep her silent on anything others may perceive as unusual. Jojo scampered onto the porch and batted at the hem of Rebecca’s skirt. With a light laugh, she lifted the kitten onto her lap. “This is Jojo’s way of telling me she’s ready for a nap,” Rebecca said to the doctor.

He smiled and watched the kitten settle in. “Where did she come from?” he asked.

Rebecca gladly shifted the conversation to the kitten and told him all about Jojo’s escapades since joining their household.

While she talked, Doctor Samuel watched her closely. “Is there any particular reason you’re uncomfortable with me, Rebecca?”

His question stopped her cold.

“You seem to be physically improved, but deeply troubled.”

His astute observation terrified her. She stared at the doctor as if he’d caught her pilfering his medicine chest. “I’m fine,” she said, but her declaration sounded fearful and unconvincing.

He nodded, but continued probing and questioning her for several minutes. “You appear to be on edge,” he said. “Are you feeling overwhelmed?” he asked. And on and on he queried until she actually laughed.

“I’m fine, Doctor, but your numerous questions are making me feel worse.”

She expected him to relent, but Doctor Samuel had a keen eye for evasion and wouldn’t be diverted from getting to a clear diagnosis.

“What’s bothering you, Rebecca?”

Knowing he wouldn’t leave until she gave him something to chew on, she finally confessed to having sleepless nights, but she blamed it on headache pain. She told him that staying at Crane Landing was helping her relax and feel less agitated, although she wouldn’t tell him about the disturbing thoughts she’d been having or that she had been looking for the red-haired lady to assure herself the woman wasn’t a hallucination.

With a loud sigh Doc Samuel patted her shoulder and got to his feet. “When you’re ready to share what is on your mind come see me, dear. I want to see you again in two weeks either way.”

As soon as he left, Rebecca forcefully put the doctor out of her mind. She didn’t want to spend another minute thinking about her accident or her headaches or any of the myriad complications that came with it. She wanted to enjoy her time in this beautiful town.

And that’s what she tried to do that evening when she and Mary challenged Adam and Leo to a game of lawn croquet after supper.

o0o

Adam had always thought Rebecca at her most beautiful when working with her horses at the livery back in Fredonia.

He’d been wrong.

As he sat on the porch watching Rebecca, the late afternoon sun casting a soft, warm glow about her, he knew she was at the height of her beauty right now, and would be more so in two more seconds, and two more beyond that.

Adam could sense the joyful energy that emanated from her. She was in her element here—in this house, in Crane Landing. She had smiled so much throughout dinner that everyone else naturally gravitated to her state of happiness.

Her eyes lit up as she laughed at something silly Leo said, and Adam felt his heart lift at the sight. He loved seeing her happy, animated. There had been too many shadows in her eyes since her accident. But
he
wanted to be the one to make her laugh.

“Be warned, Rebecca. I see a plot in motion,” said Mary in a light, teasing tone. “Leo is trying to soften his opponents. He doesn’t want us winning the croquet game.”

“What a pity,” said Rebecca, her brown eyes narrowing as she focused on Leo. “So that’s what you’re up to then?”

Leo feigned innocence. “Now, now, don’t believe everything Mary says.”

“Only the things I say about Leo,” Mary replied.

“Duly noted.” Rebecca leaned toward Mary and in a conspirator’s tone, said, “We’ll let him prove his worth on the croquet court.”

“Where we women shall soon rule,” Mary agreed.

Leo simply grinned and leaned back in his chair, threading his fingers together behind his head.

Mary rolled her eyes. “What are you up to Mr. Sullivan?”

He gave her a melting grin. “You ladies will find out soon enough.”

“Quit divulging our secrets,” Adam said, nudging Leo’s chair leg with the toe of his shoe.

The chair rocked back at a dangerous angle. Leo splayed his arms and righted the chair before it went over backwards. “Killing or crippling your partner isn’t part of our plan, Adam.”

“Neither is taunting the opposition. Come on, now,” Adam said, shooing Leo out of his chair before he tipped it backward again. “Let’s get this match going before you crack your fool head open.”

Mary, who had brought the croquet set, got to her feet and gestured to a rectangular wooden box on the grass. “You fellas set up the game while we clean up.”

Grandma waved away Mary’s assistance. “You four go on now. Dawson and I want to enjoy the river without you gals clanking dishes in the sink. I’ll take care of them later. “You can set the game up in the field by the apple orchard.”

The happy foursome hurried to an open patch of lawn up the hill beyond the garden.

Bordered by a small old-growth apple orchard first begun by the Crane family nearly one hundred years ago, the expanse of lawn held a vista view of Crane River. At one time it had been a favored look-out spot for watching the logs head downriver during the spring melt. Through the years, though, the wide expanse of lawn evolved into a perfect place for picnics and lawn games. A babbling brook amid a stand of oak trees edged the far side of the area.

They headed for the middle of the wide space. Adam and Leo each carried a handle of the crate-like croquet box. Rebecca, with a curious Jojo in her arms, walked beside Adam on his left, while Mary walked alongside Leo.

“We used to play with this croquet set when I was just a girl,” Mary said. “It belonged to my grandfather. He loved to play, especially after dark. There’s a holder for a candle atop each wicket.”

“Sounds like fun,” Rebecca replied.

“It is!” Mary said. “Once it grows dark and we light the candles atop the wickets, it’s rather unnerving when a ball is struck out of bounds into the oak grove where anything could be lurking in the dark.”

“Should your ball go astray I’ll escort you into the shadowy night, my dear,” Leo said, playfully wagging his brows as they headed toward the middle of the clearing.

“That’s about as comforting as a fox guarding a hen house.” Mary gave a mock click of her tongue. “No wonder the Boston clergy claim croquet encourages bad behavior.”

Leo and Rebecca both laughed.

Adam just shook his head. It felt good to be here with his friends. When he was a small boy, long before he and his sister moved to Fredonia, he’d ached for moments like this. Back then he had no friends. The neighbor children weren’t allowed to play with him. They called him names, threw stones at him, and even hit him with a stick once when they caught him spying on them. After that, Adam would hide in his yard and secretly peer at the neighbor children playing games with each other and wonder why he wasn’t acceptable to them.