Lauren's Dilemma (6 page)

“Yeah,
don't worry about me.” He draped his arm across her shoulders and she rested
her head on his chest. The coarse material of his jacket tickled her skin.

As they
alighted the sun shone, having successfully chased the clouds away. The trees
were breaking out in their beautiful spring blossom, and the cool air smelt
faintly of the sea.

Danny paid
the driver and they stood together without speaking until the motorcar
disappeared. Holding hands, still without speaking, they ambled towards Uncle
Richard's house.

Two bangs
of the heavy brass knocker summoned a maid.

“We only
called in for a moment to let you know we've arrived back from town. Oh, and to
give you our hats. We want to go for a walk along the beach,” Laurie said.

“Very good,
Miss, I'll tell them inside.” The girl took their headgear.

They ambled
towards the back garden and the picket gate giving them access to the beach.
“This is fun,” Laurie said.

“Yeah, best
day I've spent in ages,” Danny agreed, holding the gate open.

They
wandered along for a time, the golden sand soft against their feet. Without
speaking, they stared out across the blue water trying to find a ship, but the
horizon was strangely empty. Seagulls flew all around them, and she could
scarcely believe how tame they were.

“I'm glad
you wear your hair down. I like it all flying loose. Lots of women put it up,
but it wouldn't suit you. You'll write to me when I let you know where to send
the mail, won't you? It’s awful not getting anything at mail call.”

“Of course
I'll write—twice a week, at least,” she vowed.

“Good. I
knew I could depend on you. Think I'll have a paddle in the water.”

“Your
uniform might get wet.”

“No, it
won't.” He sat down and started unwinding his cloth puttees. She watched with
interest as he removed his boots and socks before rolling up his trousers.

“Come on,
take your shoes and stockings off and have a paddle with me.”

“But I, I
couldn't,” she spluttered, feeling embarrassed.

“Why not?
I’ll turn my back like a true gentleman.” He laughed, and under his teasing she
decided it would be rather nice to have a paddle in the sea. Most unladylike,
but there was still some of the tomboy left in her, even if she had turned
seventeen.

“Turn your
back and don't peek,” she instructed.

He turned
away and she rested one hand on his shoulder for support, hopping first on one
foot, then the other. Rolling her stockings together, she shoved them inside
her shoe.

“Can I turn
around now?” he asked

“Yes.”

Grinning,
he loped towards the water, leaving her to follow at a more sedate pace.
Charging straight ahead, he did not stop until the water lapped around his
knees, then throwing his arms above his head he urged her on.

Tentatively
she dangled a toe in. Ooh, the water felt freezing.

“Scaredy
cat,” he taunted, grabbing her hand to drag her in deeper.

“Danny,”
she shrieked, grabbing at the hem of her skirt so it wouldn’t get soaked.

“The sea
looks never ending, doesn't it?
 
Imagine
sailing across it. A couple of months ago, if someone had suggested such a
thing, I'd have laughed in his face. Laurie, I embark tomorrow.” His
countenance turned grave, his eyes became dark and shadowed.

“So soon?”
she asked in an aching whisper.

“Yes,
that's why I acted like I did before, because I won't be seeing you for ages. I
got desperate. Forgive me?”

“Yes, I
panicked. I do love you.” She reached out and stroked his cheek with trembling
fingers.

“Same
here.” He tapped her under the chin. “Think of it, in a few weeks’ time I might
be in England or France.
Would you like me to bring you back some French perfume, maybe some fancy lace
stuff?
 
What was the name of that famous
church in France?”

“Notre
Dame.”

“Yeah, I
might see it, too.” His voice rose with enthusiasm and his brown eyes danced
with a sudden excited expectation.

“You'll
have to fight.”

“Nothing I
like better than a fight. Come on, let's run and warm ourselves up a bit.”

He grasped
her hand and they set off, laughing and kicking up sprays of water as they
went. He slowed down for a moment and then, putting on a spurt, dragged her
after him, and their laughter rang out on the deserted beach.

They raced
up and down, sometimes on the sand, other times in the water. She clutched her
skirt in one hand while Danny hung on to the other.

“No more,
please.” She collapsed against him breathless.

“Maybe we’d
better start back. It'll be dark soon,” he said as the sun streaked the sky
with pink. Darkness fell swiftly this time of year.

“Race you back
to our boots.” He started running, but after a few yards he stopped and waited
for her to catch up. Hand in hand they started off again, Laurie laughing, he
whooping loudly.

She glanced
up and the laughter caught in her throat. Blair Sinclair stood on the beach
smoking his pipe and watching them. She glanced down at her creased skirt with
its damp hemline. Heat rushed into her face as his gaze strayed to her ankles
and bare feet.

“We were
having races, neither of us has been to the beach before,” she explained with
an embarrassed giggle.

“I enjoyed
watching you both. Oh, to be young and carefree again.” He gave a huge sigh.

“You aren't
old, Blair, are you?”

“I'm
twenty-eight. Your aunt wanted to let you know that dinner will be ready soon.
I felt like a smoke, so I volunteered to fetch you.”

He knocked
the pipe out on his heel. “Didn't think I'd be entertained, as well.” He gave a
soft chuckle. His eyes turned misty blue in the fading light, causing the usual
air of graveness he wore to lift momentarily. Why did her heart beat quicken?

Danny,
looking sheepish, dragged on his socks and boots, and she watched with interest
as he put on the cloth puttees that covered his trousers from ankle to knee.

“I'll have
to tidy up a little. I must look awful,” she apologized

“You look
quite lovely, Lauren.” Blair’s compliment had her staring at him in surprise.
What was there about him that made her think he was sad?

“Laurie
always looks nice. Doesn't put on all that makeup stuff, either,” Danny tacked
on gallantly. She walked between the two soldiers, feeling rather foolish in
bare feet.

“Maybe you
had better go upstairs and change your skirt, you're a bit bedraggled. Captain
Sinclair and I can entertain your aunt until you get back.” Danny laughed. It
sounded so happy and spontaneous that she joined in. Their laughter emphasized
Blair's sobriety. Was he worried about something?

“What on
earth is going on?” Like a ship rigged for racing, Helen sailed out,
immaculately groomed as always, causing Laurie to feel even more disheveled.

“Really,
Lauren. Your skirt!
 
As for your hair...”
She grimaced with distaste.

“Come on,
darling, they went paddling in the sea,” Blair jumped to their defense.
“They're young enough to enjoy such a frolic.”

“There's no
need to encourage them. I blame you for this.” She turned her venom on Danny.

“Leave it,
Helen. The boy embarks for overseas tomorrow. Why begrudge him a bit of fun? I
should be going myself soon, once this wretched holdup with the horses has been
sorted out.”

“Blair, you
can't go overseas. I'll worry every minute you're gone.”

He smiled
tenderly as he gazed down at Helen. When they came to the house, Laurie felt
even more embarrassed about her bare feet.

“Maybe I
should use the servant's entrance.”

“Don't be
foolish, Lauren.” Helen's laugh sounded forced. “If you could only see
yourself.”

Laurie
dashed upstairs and changed into her travel outfit. Within fifteen minutes she
joined the others who waited in the sitting room.

“You
weren't long.” Danny grinned.

The four
course dinner was partaken in a leisurely fashion, and it was nine o'clock
before they retired to the sitting room for coffee. Uncle Richard had rung at
the last minute before dinner, saying he had urgent business requiring his
attention. Laurie was sorry he would not be able to meet Danny, but he did put
his car and chauffeur at their disposal.

She sat in
a chair with Danny perched on the arm. His long legs were stretched out
straight in front of him, his arm draped across her shoulders.

“Will you
thank Mr. Cunningham for arranging my transport back to camp?”

“It’s the
least we could do.” Aunt Jane smiled, the charming perfect hostess.

The evening
passed pleasantly. Danny laughed a lot, and Laurie knew he was excited about
going overseas.

“I should
be leaving soon. There's a curfew tonight,” he announced, standing up with a
suddenness that took her by surprise.

Aunt Jane
shocked Laurie by saying quite warmly. “Good luck, Danny.”

“Thanks,
but who needs luck. I can't wait to have a go at the Hun.”

Laurie
watched his eyes sparkle with a frightening, reckless glow.

“You might
get killed or wounded,” her voice wavered.

“Don't
worry. I'll be all right. You know something? I'm not frightened of dying. In
fact, I’d rather die than come back maimed. Imagine losing a leg or…”

“Stop it.
Stop it!” The words were wrenched from her throat. Danny crippled or
maimed?
 
She began to cry. It was too
awful to contemplate.

“I'm
sorry.” He dragged her into his arms. “Don't cry, please. I didn't mean to
upset you. It was a stupid thing to say.”

She sobbed,
brokenhearted, against his chest.

“Don't cry
anymore. You know I could never stand it when you cried.” He raised her head,
brushing her tears away with his fingertips. “I want to remember you smiling
when I leave.” His thumb caressed her cheek. “That's better.” He laughed when
she gave a watery smile. “See, you can do it if you try.”

“Take care,
I mean, eat properly and everything.”

“’Course I
will, and I'll write as soon as I can. Don't forget you promised to write at
least twice a week. Knit me some socks, too, if you like, long thick ones. It’s
sure to be cold in France,”
he teased.

“You know I
can't knit very well.”

“I’d better
go now. Thanks for the hospitality, Mrs. Cunningham.”

“Our
pleasure. Take care of yourself, and God speed.”

“Well, I
might meet up with you at the war, Captain Sinclair.” Laughter lurked in
Danny's voice once more.

“Best of
luck. Wish I could sail with you, but I'm sure we won't be too far behind.”

Danny shook
hands with Blair and left the room, calling out one final, laughing farewell to
the others. He held Laurie’s hand tightly as they walked to the front door
where a maid waited to show him out.

“Good luck,
Sir.”

“Thank
you.”

They
stepped out on to the verandah and the maid closed the door behind them.
“Goodbye, Laurie. I'll miss you like hell.”

 
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her on
the mouth. “I’ll never forget how beautiful it was between us in the cave. No
matter what happens to me. Wherever I go. It will always be the best moment of
my whole life. I’d like to take you to some magical island where there would be
just the two of us,” he went on passionately. “We wouldn’t have to worry about
the war, your father or anything else.”

“I love
you, Danny, and when you come back from the war…” She couldn’t bear to think
about saying if. “We can find our magical island together,” she whispered.

“Laurie,
Laurie.” His kisses became fiercer as he strained her close, and she clung to
him. When his fingers started fumbling with the buttons on her blouse, she
tried to move away.

“Please,”
he moaned. “It's dark, there’s no one watching us, and I mightn’t see you for
ages. I want to remember the perfume of your hair, the taste of your skin.”

They were
both trembling by the time he released her.

“I'll
always love you, Laurie. Nothing will ever change that. Even when we’re old and
white-haired, sitting in our rocking chairs with our grandchildren playing
around us, I’ll still love you.”

“Be
careful, Danny. Come home safely to me.”

The
darkness swallowed him up. This laughing, reckless boy soldier took a piece of
her heart with him. Oh, God, please don’t let anything happen to him. Keep him,
and all the other boys who are sailing with him safe. Let them all come home.

The car
started up, and she waited until it disappeared before trailing forlornly
toward the house. Danny was gone.