Read Landed Gently Online

Authors: Alan Hunter

Landed Gently (5 page)

‘All this isn’t used at all … it just connects the four wings?’

Gently poked at the enormous central block, which dwarfed its four appendages.

Somerhayes smiled bleakly. ‘It was not built for utility, Mr Gently. The state apartments were designed to house visiting royalty and the first baron’s collection of pictures and antiques. In a more spacious age they were certainly in frequent use, but I believe there is no record of the family having inhabited other than the wings. Today, I’m afraid, the state apartments are no more than a museum which in summer we open to the
public. At other times they are merely an insuperable inconvenience to the poor inhabitants.’

‘Going round the clock … who lives where?’

‘Going round the clock, we have first the south-east wing, in which the
tapissiers
and the outdoor staff have their quarters – it has entry, you see, into the coach-houses and stabling, part of which has been turned into the tapestry workshop. Next at that end is the south-west wing where Mr Brass has rooms, and above him the indoor staff. In that wing are also the kitchens. Coming to this end, we have, first, the north-west wing, which is my cousin’s sacred domain, and second the north-east wing, in which we are now, and which Thomas and myself inhabit. In the usual way all meals are taken in the kitchen wing, but it was decided that over Christmas my own suite would be used, and so the yellow drawing room here was the scene of last night’s party. I trust you can find your way about now, Mr Gently?’

Gently nodded broodingly. He placed a stubby finger on the top of the great stairs.

‘That’s about equidistant from each of the four wings.’

‘The landing of the marble stairs is, I believe, the geometric centre of the house.’

‘In fact it’s the logical place for a rendezvous … don’t you think?’

Somerhayes said nothing, but his eyes never left Gently’s face.

‘We’ve got to ask ourselves why he went there – at
that time of night. It isn’t just round the corner … see here, there’s four or five rooms to go through after you’ve left this wing, not to mention the gallery on the north side of the hall. What was he after, unless he’d arranged to meet someone?’

Somerhayes shook his head slowly. ‘I can suggest no reason …’

‘And what was the object of the meeting, which was presumably clandestine?’

Again the head shook, unhurriedly but with
determination
.

‘Gad, Gently, you’ve got something there,’ broke in Sir Daynes. ‘If the feller went to meet someone, must have been clandestine. D’you think he was a bad ’un, and this tapestry fal-de-lal was just a blind?’

‘Be a good way of getting in, sir,’ put in Dyson, with interest.

‘Damn it, yes – confounded clever. And not above some of the johnnies we’ve had to deal with.’

It was Gently’s head that was shaking now. ‘He comes from a US camp, you know …’

‘That’s just the point, man,’ exclaimed Sir Daynes. ‘Who’s going to check his credentials, when he turns up at an Air Force lecture? Feller’s genuine – take him at his face value – and all the time he’s a crook, infiltrating his way into a country house. It’s been done before, I tell you. There’s no end to the tricks these johnnies get up to.’

‘But surely they’d know their own officers at the camp?’

‘Not necessarily – not at Sculton. Place is a
staging-post,
men in and out the whole time. And the whole business fits in … You’ve got a motive there to play with. Feller lets his accomplice into the house, say – they quarrel about the division of the loot – accomplice fetches him one with the truncheon, and clears off sharp without touching anything. There you are, man, in a nutshell. Answer to the whole confounded mystery.’

Gently shrugged his bulky shoulders. ‘Just one minor objection. Did they happen to know who you were talking about when you phoned Sculton Camp this morning?’

Sir Daynes gave him the look he usually reserved for defaulting constables …

They could get little more out of Somerhayes. For the benefit of the record he repeated his description of the finding of the body, of his suspicion about the injury, of the search he had made with Thomas, and the subsequent phoning of the police and Sir Daynes. And all the time Gently had the curious impression that he had been constituted as some sort of special audience, that he was a gallery to whom Somerhayes was playing. But why? And with what object? – the circumstances remained a mystery. Somerhayes’s last look, like his first, was an unclassifiable smile aimed at the man from the Central Office.

‘Hmp!’ grunted Sir Daynes, as the door closed behind his lordship. ‘What do you make of it all, Gently, what do you make of it? Can’t say I like the
way things are shaping – damn feller Somerhayes doesn’t seem to realize his position.’

‘He was the last person to—’ Dyson was beginning complacently, but he discreetly ended there as he caught the expression on the baronet’s face.

‘Confound the man!’ Sir Daynes turned to stare gloomily into the fire. ‘What a blasted kettle of fish to turn up on a Christmas Day, eh? I feel like a drink … I feel like some of that 1905 cognac.’ 

L
ESLIE BRASS, DRESSED
in green Harris tweed with a red line, seemed to bring a current of vitality with him into the room, which Somerhayes had chilled and enervated. One only had to catch a glimpse of his strong features with their Semitic nose and twinkling green eyes to be impressed by a feeling of warmth and energy – the ginger beard suited Brass; it seemed to grow out of his personality like an overplus of good spirits. When he sat down, the chair creaked under his massive but boyish frame.

‘Leslie Edward Brass, thirty-seven, artist – this isn’t the first time I’ve given the police my particulars! – late of Kensington, W8, now of Merely Place, Northshire – servants’ wing, if you want to be precise.’

Nothing was going to make this serious for Brass. He grinned irreverently at the whole of the set-up. Policemen might impress the bourgeois, but from Brass they just bounced off – his piratical spirits surrounded him like an envelope of India rubber.

‘What do you want to know – if I did for our young friend?’

Dyson tried to quell him with a might-take-you-
at-your
- word look, but it was a pure waste of talent.

‘We’d like you to tell us what you know of the deceased, Mr Brass, and everything you can remember about last night.’

‘I can tell you straight away that I’ve got nothing for you.’

‘We’d like it in the form of a statement, sir,
if
you don’t mind.’

Brass didn’t mind. He was a born raconteur. Without further prompting, he launched into a racy account of his meeting with Earle at the Sculton lecture, of his amusement at the young man’s gaucherie and enthusiasm, of the American’s impact on the small, closed world of the Place.

‘My trained seals didn’t know what to make of him at first – he spent half his time chasing the females, and the other half telling us how to weave tapestry. Lucky for him he was a natural charm-boy. We could have hated his guts if he hadn’t been. But he soon found out he didn’t know much, and he never minded admitting it. Had ’em all eating from his hand, he did, by the time he’d spent a couple of days with us. And as I’ve said before, many a time, he had some real, hard talent in him. If I could have kept him with me a few years, the name of Earle would have meant something in the dovecotes. But he wouldn’t have stopped over here, so it didn’t signify. He’d got some wild ideas about setting
up a tapestry workshop in the States, as though you could learn tapestry in five minutes – then he’d got another idea about transplanting me to Carpetville, Missouri. The kid was full of notions. It’s a pity they’ve gone to pot.’

‘Feller never had a quarrel with any of the
whatd
’you- call-’ems –
tapissiers
?’ enquired Sir Daynes from over his commandeered cognac.

Brass made a gesture with his white, conical fingers.

‘You couldn’t quarrel with a kid like that. He had a born sweetness of disposition. You could rib the lights out of him – I often did – and he’d never dream of taking offence. As far as he was concerned, it was a world without malice. You could club his feelings as somebody clubbed his head, and he would just think it one hell of a lark.’

‘Mmn.’ Sir Daynes didn’t seem to favour the parallel. ‘You can’t suggest anyone who might have had it in for him?’

‘Not a soul, I’d say. Unless it was Hugh Johnson.’

‘Johnson? Who’s he?’

‘A Welsh griffin we’ve got in our outfit. But don’t make a mistake – Johnson wouldn’t have brained the kid. He was just a bit sore because Earle put his nose out of joint. Johnson’s a fine designer, and I’ve been grooming him for stardom. Then Earle came along and I spent a lot of time on him, as a result of which dear Hugh decided to be huffy.’

Sir Daynes was obviously interested. His knitted
brow betrayed the fact. ‘Suppose this Welshman didn’t threaten him – nothing of that sort?’

‘Good heavens, no! You mustn’t start suspecting our Hugh.’

‘But he’d got it in for him?’

‘In the mildest possible way.’

‘Hmn,’ said Sir Daynes, and visibly made a note.

Brass continued his statement, which as far as it went corroborated that of Somerhayes. When the party broke up he had left Earle with Somerhayes and Mrs Page. He had gone to his rooms at the other corner of the huge establishment, and as far as he could testify, a quiet and
heilige
night was had by all. He was wakened by Thomas in the morning at between twenty and a quarter to eight. He found Somerhayes in the hall, about to cover the body with a blanket.

‘Did you form any impression of his … um … state of mind at the time?’

The room had warmed up, and Gently had left the hearth for a seat by the deep, stone-framed window.

‘State of mind …’ Brass swung round to him, a return of last night’s cynicism in his lively eyes. ‘Well, he was in a bad state of shock, of course. There isn’t much toughness about his lordship. He was as white as a sheet and as quiet as a dolmen. He showed me the bash, asked me if I knew anything, and then left me on guard while he ghosted off to tinkle you blokes.’

‘Would you say that his lordship was very fond of the deceased?’

Brass gave a little chuckle. ‘He wasn’t one of his
âmes
intimes,
if you know what I mean. But he was fond enough of him, just as we all were. Being American had something to do with it.’

‘How do you mean, Mr Brass?’

‘Why, his lordship is one of those types who find something mystical in the idea of America – it’s a symbol, you understand; it stands for spiritual youth and virility. Over here we’re bankrupt and done for. We’ve been at it too long; we’re suffering from hardened arteries. I daresay his lordship could feel the same way about Russia if his politics didn’t prevent it.’

‘Feller always had queer ideas,’ grumbled Sir Daynes, still guarding the hearth. ‘Turned Liberal when he was a young fool at Oxford – upset his father, I can tell you. Never been a Whig in the family since George the First.’

‘And you think Earle’s being American inclined his lordship to favour him?’ Gently persisted.

‘Certain of it.’ Brass waved his hand.

‘It would not have been held against him, for instance, if he had been making overtures to his lordship’s cousin?’

‘Janice?’ Brass’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. ‘You’re not going to tell me that the young heathen was making up to her?’

‘It did occur to me, Mr Brass.’

The artist guffawed his amusement. ‘Good Lord, what impressions people get. You don’t know your young American, Inspector. You don’t know Janice, either. Our little sex-delinquent exercised his charm
on every frail, broad and doll who came within yards of him – including the housekeeper, who is no Ninon. You’re barking up the wrong tree there, Inspector.’

Gently shrugged. ‘You could be right.’


En tout cas
, he wouldn’t have got any change out of Janice. She’s still carrying Des Page’s torch. She’s a Feverell too, you know – they take things to heart in that family. You can take my word for it that Janice P. is man-proof.’

Gently nodded indefinitely. ‘But supposing his lordship had formed a certain impression … his reactions would have been favourable?’

‘On the surface, anyway, I don’t see why not.’

‘But under the surface, Mr Brass?’

The artist made a wry face. ‘Christ knows what goes on under the sixth lord’s surface! I don’t know, and I’m not going to be led into hazarding guesses. I’m eating his salt, anyway. It doesn’t become me to tell tales out of school.’

‘This is homicide, you know …’

‘That’s why it’s dangerous to gossip.’

‘Anything pertinent is not gossip.’

‘Let’s say I’ve got nothing pertinent, and call it a day.’

Gently shrugged again and turned to peer out at the advancing twilight. Sir Daynes made some noises that to the knowledgeable betokened dissatisfaction.

‘You’re not holding anything back, eh … mistaken sense of loyalty and that?’

‘Damnation no! Didn’t I tell you at the beginning of this session that I’d got nothing for you?’

‘Just want to be sure, man … understand a thing like that.’

Brass departed as indeflatable as he had come, and Sir Daynes, wrenching himself from the matured and beautiful fire, joined Gently at the window. For a moment he stood there in silence, contemplating the dreary prospect, then he flashed a glance at the Central Office man that was the reverse of friendly.

‘Confound it, Gently … lay off Somerhayes,’ he mumbled,
sotto voce
. ‘I can see what you’re getting at … man and his pretty cousin. But it won’t do, I tell you, and what’s more I don’t like it. Things look black enough now for the poor feller … and I’m damn certain he’s in the clear.’

Gently hunched himself deeper in the ulster, which he hadn’t taken off.

‘I’m not getting at anything … I’m just following the ball,’ he replied.

‘Well, I don’t like the way it’s rolling.’

‘I’m not sure I do, either. But one thing is certain enough, if you follow it to the end … you’ll come to a point where a murderer’s bludgeon struck an innocent head.’

Sir Daynes snorted. ‘There’s another thing certain. I ought to blasted well order you back to the Manor to keep Gwen company! Hrmp, hrmp. I suppose it’s Mrs Page you want to see in here next?’

 

An interesting tray had been brought in soon after Brass was dismissed. It bore several bottles of varying
silhouettes, a selection of glasses and some slices of iced cake reposing on a napkinned salver. This caused some awkwardness for Inspector Dyson, who had a strong sense of duty; but a proper ruling from Sir Daynes quickly relieved the situation, and soon two constables, one inspector, one chief inspector and a chief constable were fortifying themselves against the season and making good any gaps that might have appeared since lunch-time. Within bounds, it was a festive scene. The glamour was extended when permission was given to smoke, and Sir Daynes distributed the high-calibre contents of his cigar-case. One did not often see five policemen, two of them in uniform, puffing Havanas while they solemnly partook of vintage port and mellowed liqueurs, and some surprise was to be looked for in the face of Mrs Page when she appeared through the door. Sir Daynes hurried over to her and put a fatherly arm round her shoulders.

‘Don’t be alarmed, m’dear, don’t be alarmed. Only keep you a few minutes, y’know … Somerhayes just sent in a snifter to keep our spirits up.’

Mrs Page smiled, but it seemed to Gently that it required an effort. There wasn’t much colour in her transparent cheeks, and about her eyes, so like and yet so unlike her cousin’s, ran the suspicion of two dark circles. She sat down boldly enough, however, and Dyson, hurriedly getting rid of his cigar, was put a little out of countenance.

‘Like some sherry, m’dear … cherry brandy, perhaps?’

‘No, thank you, Sir Daynes. We have been drinking in the lounge.’

‘Bad business, eh? Bad business! Impossible to imagine who’d want to do any harm to a likeable young feller like that.’

Mrs Page bit her beautiful lips, and for a moment it looked as though she would burst into tears. The moment passed; she sat very upright. Sir Daynes, pulling up a chair, placed himself deliberately between her and Gently.

‘Now just give the inspector your full name and age and address, m’dear … that’s the ticket. Be
twenty-nine
for some years yet, eh? Now all you have to do is to tell us what you know about the feller, and anything you can remember about what happened after he came here …’

From the way she spoke it sounded as though she had been rehearsing it. For all she could do, it would come out in little rushes of pre-composed phrasing. And the tenor of it was exactly what they had heard before. With minor variations, it was the identical account given by Somerhayes and Brass. The artist had talked scoffingly of him the day after the lecture had been delivered. On the weekend following, driving a rattle-trap Buick he had borrowed from a friend, Earle had parked on the Place terrace and manfully rung the front-door bell. He had made mixed impressions. The
tapissiers
were an absorbed and conservative little community, and Earle, though he had charm, had very little tact. But his enthusiasm was genuine enough, and
so, too, was his talent, and after another visit or two the
tapissiers
had taken him to their hearts. Somerhayes had shown a liking for him from the outset.

‘Must interrupt, m’dear, but what about a feller called Hugh Johnson … ? What was his attitude to Earle?’

‘Johnson?’ Mrs Page hesitated awkwardly. ‘Well, he might have been the exception, I suppose. He’s a Welshman, you know … very clever and all that, but rather … well, introspective, I suppose you’d call it. He’s apt to sulk a bit.’

‘Nurse a grudge, would he?’

‘I don’t think he would forget one in a hurry.’

‘Sort of feller who might turn nasty?’

‘I … wouldn’t like to say that. He’s quick, of course, soon fires up and all that … and sullen – that’s the word for it. He broods over things for days. But he can be a dear, too, when he likes.’

‘Hah. And he took against Earle?’

‘He was a little surly towards him. He felt that Earle had displaced him with Brass. To a certain extent that was true.’

‘Complained about it, did he?’

‘Oh no, Hugh was much too proud to complain. But he had some things to say about Americans being all talk, and cutting things like that. And he used to snub Earle unmercifully, which was a sheer waste of time … Earle being …’

Mrs Page broke off, and from the sinking movement of her head as well as the sudden rise in her voice,
Gently judged that she was again struggling on the verge of tears.

‘There, there,’ mumbled Sir Daynes. ‘Shocking affair, m’dear, shocking. Take your time. Got all day. Dyson, stub that confounded cigar-butt … Smoke’s getting in the lady’s eyes.’

The head rose again, and after a pause Mrs Page was ready to go on. Once more the short-hand constable’s pencil commenced whisking down the page. They had been very much looking forward to having Earle with them at Christmas. At first there was some doubt as to whether he could get leave, but the easing of the current political tension had enabled the Sculton CO to grant one or two passes, Earle’s amongst them. He had long planned his day of Christmas shopping in London. He had wanted Mrs Page to accompany him, but she had been prevented from doing so by the necessity of clearing up the business-end of the workshop before the Christmas break.

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