Lakota Surrender (17 page)

She raised her eyes to his in a shy glance and then quickly looked away He simply smiled at her, letting her know he understood her dilemma.

He waded to her, the smile never leaving his lips.

He stood before her, completely naked, yet he was not in the least uncomfortable about it.

“Kristina,” he stated in Lakota. “Let us bathe. We will talk and you will feel better. Come.”

He eased the shirt from her body and, taking her hand in his, kissed each of her fingertips.

When his gaze at last met hers, he was smiling. “If worry always turns you this shy,” he said, “I will have to remember to keep you carefree.”

And though he didn’t translate, his words seemed to soothe her, for she smiled sweetly back at him.

“Come,” he motioned with one finger and led her to the middle of the creek. His hands smoothed water over every part of her body, and he appeared to derive as much pleasure from his actions as she did. He washed her hair, he massaged her scalp, his hands caressed her tense muscles. He turned her around so that her back was to him, while he massaged her along her spine and shoulders.

Kristina felt like putty in his hands. She moaned and shut her eyes. Why did her people think the Indian woman was a slave? Tahiska was always kind and considerate to her. He listened quietly when she spoke and appeared to weigh and acknowledge her ideas. If the responsibilities of the home fell to the Indian woman, wasn’t this also so in her world?

They were standing waist deep in the water, and Kristina leaned back against him. At first she attempted to cover her breasts with her arms, but as Tahiska’s massage eased the tension in her body, so, too, did her embarrassment dissipate.

When she had finally relaxed fully against him, he gently turned her around to face him.

“We must talk,” he said and set her slightly away. “Tell me why you worry so. Have I not said that we will tell your parents of our marriage tomorrow? In my tribe it is not uncommon for a boy and girl to steal away to marry. Usually there is no trouble over this. Does the white man never steal his bride? Is it this that worries you?”

His sign movement was so graceful, and Kristina was so caught up in its beauty, that she lagged behind in translating its message. She hesitated.

“I did not truly steal you,” he continued when she didn’t immediately reply. “I gave your father gifts, though had I been home, there would have been more gifts. Is it the value of the presents that troubles you?”

“Tahiska,” Kristina grabbed his hands and held them against her breasts while she thought out the right sign sequence. Her feelings were complex, and she probably would have had difficulty communicating it all properly with words, let alone in a language of hand motions.

“Tahiska,” she began aloud, then switched to sign, letting his hands drop to his sides. “I must speak to you with my mind now and not with my heart. In my heart, I love you and want to be with you always. But my mind is not certain that a marriage between us is good. I was not aware this afternoon that we had married. My customs are different from yours, and it was not until you called me wife, that I knew of our marriage. I love you, but I do not think I can marry you.”

“It is already done!” he signed furiously.

“I was not aware of it!” she returned, in an equally intense movement.

Tahiska hesitated. “Then divorce me!” he signed at length.

Kristina looked away. “I don’t think that I could.” She spoke in English. “Besides, why should I divorce you when I’m not even sure we’re married?”

He caught her hands, then gestured, “Speak so that I can understand you.”

She glowered at him, but signed nonetheless, “I will not divorce you when I am uncertain we are even married.”

Tahiska said nothing. He signed nothing for a long while. His eyes bored into hers until she had to glance away. When she looked back, she noted that he had masked all sign of emotion from his face. He looked skyward and took a deep breath.

“Did you not enjoy our time together, my wife?” he asked in Lakota, then signed his question quickly before her. “Are you displeased with me?”

Her gaze flew to his.

“Did you not find our love as satisfying as I?”

“No, I…”

“Is this the reason you consider divorce?”

“I haven’t…”

“Do you find it distasteful to love me?”

“No, I’m only…”

“Show me.”

“What?” Kristina couldn’t be sure she followed his signs correctly.

“Show me how you feel about me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Yes, you do.”

Kristina looked down. He was fully aroused and waiting for her. She shot her gaze back to his.

He glared at her. “Do you love me?”

“You know I do, it’s just that…”

He grabbed her hands, silencing her. “Show me,” he signed, placing her hands on his chest. “Show me.”

Her fingertips burned at the contact, and a deep longing swept over her. She traced her fingertips over his breast. “Tahiska, I…”

He placed a finger to her lips, then set her hands on his waist and below, “Show me,” he signed again.

She felt him, then gasped. Her gaze leapt to his. He smiled and without so much as a flicker of an eyelash, Tahiska lifted her up toward him. He wrapped her legs around his waist and fitted himself inside her. Sensation immediately overwhelmed her. She moved against him. Then again. In this position, Kristina noted she had to do most of the work, but she quickly adjusted and found herself drawing him further within. If her gaze dropped from his, he promptly tilted her chin up until they once again stared at one another. His hands held her buttocks, holding her in place while she rocked against him. Each thrust within her was deep and Kristina thought she might die from the pleasure of it.

At one point his hands came up to hold her waist while he drove upwards within her. There was perspiration on his brow and above his lips. It was the only indication she had that he was moved by her, outside of the obvious one. His gaze stoically bore into hers.

She couldn’t help herself. She strained against him, she rocked, she twisted. The water rushed in and around them. The tempo increased. And all the while, he did not allow her gaze to falter from his.

She was at a precipice and as she tipped over the edge, he thrust deeply within her, encouraging her with the ultimate sensation. She labored against him until she was spent, never free of the intensity in his eyes until, at the last moment, her eyes drifted back and she floated upwards.

She was still for a long time, floating, her legs wrapped around him.

He was still aroused and hard within her and when she at last came out of her daze, he began to move against her, but this time when she looked at him, he smiled.

He took her hands and held them outwards, in a straight line away from their bodies while he rubbed his torso over her breasts.

She threw her head back and he kissed her neck and, holding her body upwards, he nuzzled each breast until she began to feel that same sensation spreading downward, begging for release.

She hadn’t known this was possible and her startled gaze, as she brought her head down, told him so.

He just smiled at her while he brought her head to his. When his lips met hers, he nibbled upon them.

It was seduction. Pure and simple. And Kristina was a willing victim to it. He teased her with his lips, with his teeth, with his tongue, and all the while he thrust deeply within her.

She met each movement, and when the rhythm escalated, it was what she needed. Their breathing was labored, and despite the cool water, their sweat mingled until Kristina couldn’t tell if she were wet from creek water or from sweat.

They strained, they pushed, they loved until together they burst, both twisting and thrusting long after the need was fulfilled.

They drifted upwards together. And it seemed for awhile they shared the same space.

Mindlessly she nuzzled his neck, while his hands roamed over her back and buttocks as though he wished to memorize each curve.

“Kristina,” he murmured against her hair,
“mitawicu,
I do believe we pleasure each other well.”

It was a long time before they finally drew apart to bathe in the creek.

Darkness had fallen on the land when Kristina finished her bath. Tahiska had long since left to hunt, leaving her to bathe in privacy.

She waded to the shore where she tugged Tahiska’s shirt on over her head and sat wearily, her feet still dangling in the water. She pushed her hands through the tangles in her hair in an attempt to restore order to the locks. One by one she pulled at the tangles till most of her hair was free and fell once more down her back.

Tahiska had lit a fire before he left and had given her strict instructions on its maintenance. He had also warned her not to stay long in the water, since animals often came to drink at the stream under the cloak of darkness.

Still Kristina sat near the water’s edge. She had run the gamut today emotionally and the stillness of the water and of the prairie were for the moment acting as a salve. This had been the happiest day of her life, yet it was also one filled with the most dread and worry.

She had not returned to the fort as expected. What would happen?

She loved Tahiska with all her heart. But marriage? How would their love survive?

It was impossible, and yet…

She recalled their lovemaking—beautiful, natural, complete. And she knew without a doubt that even if she refused his offer, there would never be another for her. No one could take his place within her heart. Ever.

Tears fell over her cheeks. She thought it might likely kill her to walk away from him.

She hung her head, letting the tears flow into the water, there commingling. She wished she could blend into his life as easily, but it just wasn’t possible.

For her sake, and for his, she had to convince him that the marriage was a sham. Her parents would never allow the union; her friends, even Julia, would look upon her with disdain, someone who had lost her mind.

Was her father even now riding on the prairie, looking for her? What would he do if he found her with Tahiska?

She had never spent the night away from the fort without permission. If soldiers found her with Tahiska, her reputation would be soiled. Her reputation though, meant little to her at the moment, for she had just realized another fact. They would kill him. No one would understand. Her people, even her father, would act, and Tahiska, despite his warrior status, would not stand a chance against several soldiers. They would kill him.

Kristina jumped to her feet. His life was in danger she had to warn him.

She fled toward their makeshift camp. She had to convince him to take her home now. She could make up some excuse. No one would harm him if he willingly brought her back. Besides, they were not truly married; his life depended upon her ability to reason with him. She had tried to argue with him this afternoon, but she’d been pleasantly distracted. This time she must do better; she must make him understand.

She was almost upon the camp before she realized it. She glanced around but saw no sign of Tahiska, since the fire was small and gave off little light.

For a moment her nerves quieted. There was almost no chance that her father would find them here, even if he searched for her through the night. The spot was well protected and practically invisible until one happened upon it. It gave her more time in which to reason with him. And if she failed, for just this one night they were safe. But what of tomorrow?

“Must I slay this wolf that pursues you?” Tahiska asked from the shadows. He chuckled. He was already on his feet, his hand on his knife, just in case.

“What?” she asked aloud, startled.

Tahiska reached out to her and steadied her, folding her in his arms, then, in sign, “Why do you hurry? Are you in danger?”

“No,” she returned. “It’s just, that…I need to talk to you.”

“Of course, we have much to say to each other. But sit first. I have prepared us some food. I know that you worry. But haven’t I told you that all will be well? You will see.”

“No!
Hiya,”
she spoke, then in sign, “I think you are wrong; all is not well. I fear you will never have the chance to speak. Don’t you understand that my people will be angry? No one knows where I am. They will worry. Their emotions will be stirred. They will fight you first and ask question later.”

“Perhaps,” he gestured back. He smiled at her and Kristina stared at him in frustration. No emotion showed on his face. In fact, he appeared calm, much too calm. How was she to plead her point when he didn’t take her seriously? “Kristina,” he continued, “I do not share your concern. But I will let you talk more of this later. For now, won’t you sit with me? Share some of my supper. I do not enjoy speaking of these things on an empty stomach.”

She glanced up into her husband’s features, hidden in part by the darkness of the evening. There was a mesmerizing quality about this man. Kristina felt herself being pulled into a false sense of security.